Chapter 8

Chapter 8

They arrived at the dock loaded down. In her left hand Kathryn carried a gigantic picnic basket stuffed with food and drinks. On her right shoulder she carried a canvas bag of beach towels. The bag would not have been so cumbersome if it hadn't included an extra set of Kathryn's clothes. It wasn't that she didn't trust Chakotay she just believed in being prepared. Chakotay held two fishing poles and some sort of box that he called a tackle box. He was determined to teach her to fish. She had a feeling that her fishing would be just about as good as her cooking. When they got close to the old building at the dockside an old man ambled out of the building. He walked straight toward them in a determined gait. As he got closer he called out. "Katie girl is that really you?"

"It's me Jonsey."

He swept her up in a hug. Once he was finished he eyed Chakotay up and down. "And who might this be?"

"Jonesy this is my friend Chakotay." Chakotay extended his hand. The old man would have none of it. He hugged Chakotay and slapped him on the back. "I was kidding I would know this man any where. I keep informed you know. That was some incredible discovery you made out there in the desert."

She didn't bother trying to hide her surprise. "What discovery?"

Chakotay shrugged as if to say that it was nothing.

They were walking toward the dock and the boat that they would use for the day. Jonesy answered her quickly. "At the archeological dig in Arizona that he is in charge of pieces of poetry were discovered with identical markings as those found on a planet located in the outskirts of the Alpha Quadrant. It is believed to be a piece of history that links the two civilizations." Jonesy was smiling. Proud to be in such distinguished company. They had reached the boat by now. Kathryn laid her things on the ground and climbed aboard. Chakotay handed her all their supplies over the rail before he joined her. Jonesy gave her some last minute reminders. He asked, "When do you think you might return?"

Kathryn was already moving about the ship getting the sails ready so Chakotay answered. "We're not sure. Is there any particular time that you need the boat back?"

"I leave at four. If I am gone just tie her up tight. ." He gave Chakotay a wink. "The weather should be mild. It will be clear sailing for you." He lowered his voice talking only to the man in front of him. "Take care of Katie girl. She is very special. I may not be her father but I'll knock you down just the same if you hurt her!" Jonesy began to walk back toward the old house before a stunned Chakotay could reply. He stopped and turned around and yelled, "Katie girl remember she's a boat not a starship!" Both Kathryn and Chakotay laughed as Jonesy disappeared inside.

It took them a good fifteen minutes to ready the ship. Kathryn did most of the work and barked orders at him when she needed him to do something. If truth were told it wasn't that he couldn't remember what to do it was just that he was so distracted. Kathryn was standing at the front of boat. She had on a pair of white cotton pants that came to the bottom of her calf. The way the sun was shining on her as she worked they became completely transparent. He could already feel his heartbeat increasing. Finally she had finished raising the sail and yelled to him to untie the ropes. Tearing his eyes from her he did as he was told. Once he finished they headed out onto the open waters.

It was a day that could only be classified as Indian summer. Even though it was late September the sun was hot. He was glad he had worn light slacks and gladder still that he had brought his bathing suit. They sat facing each other as the warm breeze stroked their skin.

"Why didn't you tell me about the discovery?"

"To tell you the truth in comparison to your inviting me here it didn't seem important."

"Oh, Chakotay I can't believe that. This is the find of a lifetime!"

"The night the discovery was made was the night after your first message. I was thrilled with the find. I organized the careful recovery that evening and rejoiced loudly when the pottery was unearthed in tacked. Then I shut down the camp and went home. Your message was the only thing on my mind." He reached one hand over and took her hand. "The following couple of days were hectic and filled with joy but the minute you invited me to Indiana all I could think about was leaving. Starfleet wanted me to stay and continue working on the site and I just said no. I figured that if they came after me I could always call my friend the celebrated Kathryn Janeway to help me out."

Tears glistened in her eyes as she looked at him. "I can't believe that you left behind the find of a lifetime to come to see me."

He cupped her tiny face in his gigantic bronze hands. "I did not leave behind the find of a lifetime, I came to claim the find of my lifetime." He leaned over and kissed her softly.

The hot sun, the closeness of her body, the wonderful tight yellow tee shirt all combined to create an intoxicating atmosphere. He kissed her again this time allowing her to explore his mouth. She licked his lips tentatively. He opened for her inviting her to come inside. She did. Her tongue swirled inside simultaneously probing and dancing within the uncharted waters she had just entered. He dare not reach out and hold her or the day would be over before it began. Instead he hesitantly pulled back. He looked deeply into her eyes speaking to her in words unspoken. She understood. He wasn't pulling away; he was just taking it slow.

He stood up and grabbed her hand. "Come on let's do some fishing."

For the next half-hour he tried in vain to teach her. He could not understand how someone who comprehended temporal physics could not catch a fish. For spirits sake she handled a pool cue with amazing dexterity and she couldn't even hold a fishing rod correctly!

They were standing on the port side of the boat trying to untangle their lines. "Chakotay, face it I am hopeless!"

"We need to catch some fish. I promised your mother a fresh fish dinner tomorrow."

She walked about three feet away. She sat down on a long cabinet that ran around that part of the boat. She put her feet up and raised her face to the sun. "Well I suggest you get to work! I'll just sit here and enjoy the sun."

He shot her a glare that quickly turned into a smile. He did love fishing and she looked so beautiful there. Something about it made him feel at peace. It led him to thoughts of the village where he spent his childhood. As he thought he cast his line out and within seconds he had a bite. He reeled the fish in carefully and deposited into the bucket. He turned around a minute to give her a look that said see how easy this is. She just shrugged. He went back to work. They would need at least five good size fish for dinner since Kathryn's sister and her family were coming. Suddenly feeling the effects of the heat Chakotay put his fishing pole against the rail and tugged at his shirt. He removed it and threw it toward the front of the boat. He continued fishing lost in his thoughts.

Kathryn was lost herself but not in thoughts. She was lost in the sight of him. His bronze skin seemed even darker soaked in sun. As he cast out his line the muscles of his back rippled. He looked sexier than she ever imagined. She closed her eyes and remembered the feel of his lips on hers once again. She'd already memorized his taste. She almost felt his tongue nudging her lips open. She watched him pull in one more fish. Her body yearned to touch him. After he had settled his line in the water once again she walked up behind him. He held the pole in his right hand. She slide under his left arm and leaned against him. He quickly draped his left arm over her shoulder. Her body was flush against his side. He continued holding the fishing pole with his other hand. Kathryn turned just slightly and ran her lips up the side of his chest leaving feather-like kisses as she went. When she reached his nipple all pretense of fishing was gone. He put the pole down and turned to her. He picked her up and sat her precariously balanced on the rail facing him. She snaked her arms around his neck and continued her oral assault. This time the target was his face. Because of the rail she was now his equal in height. She placed kisses on his forehead and cheeks. She ran her tongue along the blue lines on his face. He groaned as her tongue slid across his tattoo. The dreams he had were nothing compared to the sensuality of the moment. She backed her head away gauging his reaction to her. She had no time to contemplate it as he crushed his lips to hers. He wrapped his arms around her back and crushed her body to his. He kissed her with wild abandon. He kissed her like he had kissed no other woman. He kissed her with his entire being attempting to brand her with his lips. She was his! The kiss broke out of necessity as each had forgotten to breathe. Years of hunger erupted as she wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him to the rail. They both gasped as the most intimate parts of their bodies connected. The cotton barrier of clothing was not enough to hide the signs of longing their bodies produced. She sealed her lips to his. She moved her tongue rhythmically in and out as he matched her movements with his hips. Time seemed to stop. They were lost in the sensations of their bodies.

A sudden loud flapping noise caught their attention. They broke apart and Kathryn jumped down cursing as she did. One of the sails had come untied and the corner was lose and flapping in the breeze. The moment was lost but the tension remained. Chakotay followed her and helped her pull the rope in that needed to be tied down.

"Maybe we should call this sail Tuvok. Its timing seems to be just as good," he said as he assaulted her with a broad smile.

She laughed in spite of the frustration of the moment. Once the sail was secured they headed back to where the gear was stored. Kathryn pulled out the food basket. "How about some lunch? I seem to have worked up an appetite with all this fishing." She winked at him as she said it. He found himself laughing out loud as they sat down to eat.

They set the blanket out on the deck and laid out the food. Her mother had out done herself.

Chakotay looked down at all the food. "Either your eating habits had changed drastically in four months or you mother is afraid we will be ship wrecked!"

Kathryn laughed. "But she did pack the good stuff." She began taking things out one by one. "Wine, cheese, bread, pasta, chocolate cake, and strawberries. Looks like a meal fit for a king," she said as she handed him a glass of wine.

He raised his glass to hers, "and his queen." They drank deeply. They began to eat. Chakotay was trying to work up his courage. After a few pieces of cheese and some bread he finally spoke. "I know you want to talk about Seven." He looked at her to check her response. She tried her best not to choke. All she could do was shake her head yes.

He put down his wine and stretched out his legs. "I thought about it for a long time. I almost can't remember how it started. Out of the clear blue sky she invited me to dinner. I was stunned but to be honest I thought it was just an attempt to be more social. The idea that she wanted a date never crossed my mind." He looked over at Kathryn. Her head was down and she was playing with her hands. This was difficult to tell and probably even more difficult for her to hear. "All we did was have dinner in the mess hall but something felt different. It was like she was trying very hard. She was asking me questions about my background and myself. Then it dawned on me that she was acting like a person on their first date. I thought she might be trying to put into practice some of the social lessons the doctor had given her. I chuckled a little. I didn't want to embarrass her so I played along." Inspite of the situation Kathryn smiled at she pictured his kindness. "I guess I kind of got trapped. I just went along with things. When I looked back and thought about it I think there are probably many reasons. I was sincere in that I didn't want to hurt her. I knew how hard it was for her to take this step in her growth. Whether I was full of myself or not, I thought that if I stopped whatever it was we were engaged in, it might ruin her chances of a romantic relationship in the future." He laughed for her. "I know, I know I thought rather higher of myself. What I was thinking about was her vulnerability. In essence she is nothing more than an adolescent." He leaned over and took a very long drink of wine, draining his glass. He refilled both of their glasses. In a gesture that was unexpected she reached over and took Chakotay's hand in hers. Even though she wanted to know the truth she knew it was hard for him to tell it knowing that he had hurt her with the relationship. Why was it that his liaisons were never just quick sex? They always involved more. Maybe that depth was one of the reasons she loved him so.

He smiled at her as she took his hand. "As things progressed I was very flattered by her interest in me. I mean come on I am old enough to be her father and the fact that she was interested in me turned my head around. I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say that I was intrigued by being the first one to teach her about the physical aspects of a relationship." He felt Kathryn's hand flinch as he said that. "It never went that far Kathryn."

"Did you want it to?" She searched his eyes for the truth.

He put his head down. She knew his answer. "At the time I was very lonely. It would have been easy to fall into her arms but I didn't. We did kiss but nothing more. After the fourth date I discovered something that bothered me." He was gently stroking her hands trying to get through this. "Remember those times when she was not at her post but was in the holodeck? She was not doing research. She had created a program of her and I. It was a rather romanticized version."

Kathryn's mouth was agape. "You mean she created a program of you? Then she practiced her… social skills on you."

"Yes."

"I could have thrown her in the brig for that!"

"I know."

"How did you find out?"

"As you know after the Admiral came things got a little hectic. Apparently she told Seven that she would die and that it would hurt me deeply. I tried to tell her that life is filled with chances. My mouth was saying the words yet in my heart I recognized the perfect opportunity to end it but I didn't. I knew we were possibly heading for home and that meant a new life and new possibilities and I was afraid to leave her alone. I felt like she was dependent on me. I mentioned something like that to the doctor and he got snippy. That's when he told me about the program and that he thought I was nothing more than an experiment."

The one questioned she was burning to ask was stuck in her throat. He remained still as the remembrance of bad decisions weighed him down.

She took her hand from his and settled them in her lap. Finally she asked in a voice that was barely audible, "Why didn't you tell me?"

He knew it was coming but he wasn't ready. How could he tell her that he knew he was betraying everything they had together but he did it any way? That at night in his bed after he had been with Seven he almost cried for the guilt he felt. He knew they had unspoken promises and he knew he broke them. It didn't matter that it seemed like she had forgotten them he should have been stronger. He should have held on. "I was ashamed."

"Ashamed? Of Seven?"

"Of myself."

She understood. He didn't need to tell her. After all the times she had pushed him away the attentions from Seven must have felt wonderful. "I thought that it wouldn't hurt but it did. I had no right to feel that way but when the Admiral told me I wanted to die. I knew that I was living in the hell that I had created but I hated it just the same." She paused for a moment. She didn't want to add to his guilt. "Why did it end?"

He finally smiled. He slide over next to her. Both of them where leaning against the box that held the life jackets. He put his right arm around her shoulder and she snuggled close. Although she wanted to know, it was the past. He was here with her now and that was all that mattered. "Once we returned I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I thought about taking a trip to my homeworld. When I suggested it to her she told me it was illogical everyone was dead." Kathryn winced. "Then she told me that I was not the man she thought I was and didn't think that we should continue seeing each other. This time I did not argue. Later that night B'Elanna called me and told me there was something that I should see. She had been cleaning up the computer before our review by Starfleet and she came across an interesting program. When I went to see it, it was the program that Seven had created of me. Now I knew why I was not the man she had thought I was. In her program I was perfect. I said all the right things. I never got mad, in fact I never even got emotional. I had no passion. I was, well, a hologram."

Kathryn reached up and traced his face in a gesture that had quickly become familiar. "She didn't know you at all."

"No she didn't. And for a few weeks I guess I didn't know myself either." Kathryn leaned in and kissed him gently. Chakotay burst out laughing. Kathryn's jumped and pulled her face back. He grabbed her and pulled her closer again. "I'm sorry. I was just remembering what happened when B'Elanna found out about Seven."

"What happened? What's so funny?"

"She broke my nose! One punch."

They were both laughing now. "That's what really happened. And you said that you were boxing on the holodeck."

They were both very relaxed and happy. Chakotay suggested a swim. They both went to separate ends of the boat to find whatever privacy was possible and changed into their bathing suits. They jumped in the water like two kids. They splashed around and laughed the afternoon away. Finally they came back on board and decided to lie in the sun to dry. Both of them fell asleep content in the knowledge that they would be together when they woke up. Kathryn woke first and watched him. The rise and fall of his chest as his breathed was mesmerizing. She knew that she could spend the rest of her life just watching him breath. Had they really done it? Had they found their way back and beyond? As she was thinking he began to stir.

He rolled on his side facing her. "Hi!"

"Hi," she answered as she put her arm around his waist. It felt so good to have the freedom to touch him.

"I believe I could get used to this," he said drawing her close to him.

"I was just thinking exactly the same thing!" They remained wrapped in each other's arms enjoying the newfound intimacy. Suddenly Chakotay realized that his chest was wet. He pushed her away so he could see her.

"What's wrong?"

"Chakotay I am so sorry." She was crying harder now. "I took you for granted for so long. All those years you were there beside me. Helping me, guiding me, loving me. I never told you how much I appreciated it. You gave me everything and asked for nothing. I know you deserve someone better than me."

He grabbed her with both of his hands almost shaking her. "Look at me Kathryn. Look at me!" She finally did. "It doesn't matter what you think I deserve. The only thing that matters is what I want and I want you!" He rolled her over and covered her with his body. Aware of the fact that they were on the deck of the boat he kept his weight balanced on one arm. He kissed her. He began with her mouth giving it the full attention it deserved. The he moved down to her neck alternating between kisses and small bites. He had a childish desire to leave a mark on her letting everyone know that she belonged to him. He worked his way down to the valley between her breast. He trailed a few kisses along her creamy freckled skin. Then looking up at her she heard him say, "god how I want you!" They fell into a frenzy of kissing.

Kathryn had never been kissed like this before. It had all the eagerness of a first time but all the skill of an experienced lover. Nothing came close to how she felt in his arms. She wanted nothing more than to rip off his swim trunks right there. She knew he felt the same way. As she was debating how to accomplish it he abruptly stood up. He walked in circles for a few minutes. Kathryn was confused. Was she reading him wrong? All her insecurities surfaced and he could see them in her face. He walked over and hugged her while he whispered in her ear. "I want you more than words can express but not here. I want time to relish it, to enjoy every second of our lovemaking. I don't want to worry about someone seeing us. I want privacy and a soft bed to love you as I have dreamed of for years. Is that okay?" He stepped back as he asked her that questions.

"We will find the right time and place." She answered. He turned to begin packing up their stuff. She grabbed his hand. "But don't wait too long because I have had the same dream for years!"

The sun had set just before they pulled into the dock. Jonesy was gone and the area was quiet. They tied up the boat and gathered their things for the transport back to her mother's house.

They had both thrown their clothes on over their bathing suits so they were both a little wet and uncomfortable. The warmth of the day had given way to a cool fall evening. The only thing on their minds when they entered the house was a good hot shower. Kathryn called for her mother as she walked through the foyer. There was no answer. "That's funny." She looked through the entire house but Gretchen was not there. She went into the kitchen trying not to panic and there by the coffee maker was a note. Chakotay had come up behind her as he too was beginning to get worried. Kathryn turned around and faced him. "My mother has gone to Phoebe's for the night. Apparently Phoebe's sitter canceled and she has some big dinner to attend with her husband. My mother said not to worry she plans on spending the night and returning with Phoebe and her family for dinner tomorrow." Chakotay's eyes had turned a dark brown. Kathryn knew what he was thinking. Just to be sure she went onto her tiptoe toes and kissed him firmly. 'Oh yeah he was thinking exactly what she was.' "Why don't you take the first shower and I'll make us some hot tea." He grabbed her for one last kiss before he left for the bathroom. Kathryn tried to get out two teacups but her hands were shaking. Tonight she would not be sleeping with her imagination.