Chapter 10

Her first thought when she woke up in the middle of the night was that she was tangled in the covers. Her second thought was 'Please God don't let it be another dream.' With trepidation she ran her hand across what felt like an arm that lay across her stomach. She was afraid to open her eyes. She was convinced that when she did, this glorious weight would be gone. Before she could gather the courage to look she felt a hand brush across her cheek. She opened her eyes cautiously, then she saw him. The moon shining through the window that was just behind her bed. The light danced across his face and her heart quickened. He was really here. Finally, he was really here with her.

She was still sleeping when he woke in the middle of the night. The feel of her next to him woke him. She was smiling. She was sound asleep but she was still smiling. 'That's a good sign' he thought. Rolling onto his side he faced her as she slept soundly on her back. He carefully placed his arm across her stomach. After being without her for so long he needed to feel their connection now. He intended to go back to sleep but then she began to stir. He lifted his arm and brushed the back of his hand down her face. She was so beautiful. They had been through so much together. Years of fighting the enemy and years of fighting their own desires. Finally he was here, with her.

Chakotay spoke first. "Hi."

"Hi, yourself. What time is it?"

"It's early, not even five yet. Go back to sleep."

She pulled his arm under her and motioned for him to turn onto his back. She settled her tiny body against his side as her head rested on his shoulder. He held her close warming her naked body with his. He was ready again but tried to hide it. It didn't work, she noticed. She moved her hand from its resting place on his chest. She began a teasingly slow descent. His skin was soft and smooth. She could feel the tautness of his muscles. She could tell his body had changed since they left the ship. She was enjoying this new found freedom immensely. She wanted to please him in the same ways that he had pleased her. Her hand reached a patch of soft hair. She ran her fingers through it never quite touching his skin but still feeling his heat. Continuing down she found what she was searching for. It was hard yet his skin was soft. Feeling him she wondered how they were able to fit together; but they had, and it was perfect. Her hands began to slowing move up and down. With each movement she could hear his intake of breath. She raised her head to watch his face. It was a beautiful sight. His eyes were closed and his mouth was partially opened. The sounds he was making were low in his throat. She quickened her stroke and his hip rocked to match her pace. Turning her eyes toward his chest she leaned down and kissed him. Her hand stilled as her tongue trailed a line down the center of his chest. She reached his belly button making tiny circles inside. She continued downward until she could take him completely into her mouth. She heard him cry out as her saliva mixed with his early fluids. Her mouth replicated the motions previously performed by her hand.

He was near the point of no return. Holding back had become impossible. He grabbed her head and tried to get her to stop. The feel of his hands in her hair only inspired her to do more. He knew that he wouldn't be help to control himself much longer but he was afraid to let go, afraid of what she would do but she left him no choice. Holding onto her shoulders he let himself go. His release was powerful despite the fact that it was the second of the night. He began to breath again as she slide back up and laid her head on his shoulder once again. He wanted to say something but he didn't know what to say. How could you explain to someone how you feel about an experience that was beyond words.

She didn't give him a chance. In a voice that was almost timid she asked, "Did you like that?"

He almost made a joke but the tone in her voice made him realize that she was serious and that she really didn't know. But before he could answer she went on.

"I was never really very good at …that." She tried to roll away from him just a little but he would have none of it. He rolled to his side. With his arm still under her they were now face to face.

"That was one of the most sensual experiences I have ever had." As if to prove his words her kissed her deeply relishing the taste of himself in her mouth.

When he finished he saw her lower her eyes. He thought she was just embarrassed but then she continued. "Mark never wanted to do anything like that. He said it didn't feel very good probably because I wasn't doing it right."

"I thought we established long ago that Mark was an ass! I knew he was a jerk when he wrote you that dear John letter." She was smiling now. "Maybe I should thank him for being so stupid. If he didn't dump you I wouldn't be in your bed right now, or tomorrow, or the next day or the next."

"It didn't look like you were thanking him on the porch."

"No, I wasn't"

They laid in silence for awhile both completely content in the other's arms. Finally nature took over and they both had to use the bathroom. After freshening up a little and putting on some robes they headed down to the kitchen for a snack. They settled on tea and returned to the stillness of the living room and sat on the couch.

"Kathryn, do you remember what we talked about just before you fell asleep?" She was sitting at one end of the couch with her back resting on the arm. Her legs were stretched out and her feet were in his lap. He was gently massaging her feet. "Yes, I do but…"

He stopped moving. It was as if the world had stopped. Why was she saying but? He thought every wall of defense had been broken, ever barrier crossed why but?"

"But, what?" he demanded.

She giggled. "But I would like to hear it again."

He dropped off the couch and got onto one knee. In the style of an old earth custom he proposed on bended knee.

"Kathryn, you saved my soul when I was lost. You brought me peace when I was angry. You gave me fire when I was dead inside. And just when I thought I would never be blessed again you gave me the greatest blessing of all, yourself. I cannot imagine another day without you- sleep with me at night, wake with me in the morning, swell with my child, grow old with me- make my life complete, be my wife."

Tears were streaming down her face. She cupped his face in her hands. "Chakotay I am not as eloquent as you." She paused to gather her thoughts. "From the moment I saw you, you touched my soul. You make me more than I ever thought that I could be. When I am with you I am a better person. You know me for who I really am, and you love me anyway. You are more than I ever expected in my life. The spirits have blessed me in a way that exceeds words. I too could never imagine another day without you by my side," she smiled shyly, "or in my bed. You are my life. You are my one true love, Imzadi." She took his hands and looked deeply into his eyes. "Stand beside for the rest of this journey we call life-join with me-father my children-make my life complete-be my husband." Both tear stained faces met for a kiss. The emotion was crackling in the air. Words that had long been concealed had come into the light. Deepest desires of the heart had been told. One promise had been made and one promise had been kept.

Scooping her into his arms he headed for the stairs. "Let's start the honeymoon a little early!"