Hermione and Ron: "Let's Call the Whole Thing Off"

(Things have come to a pretty pass

our romance is growing flat

for you like this and the other

while I go for this and that

Hermione's eyes lit. "Oh, I love this song! It's so funny and happy. My dad and I dance to it all the time at home . . . whenever it comes on the radio . . ."

goodness knows what the end will be

oh I don't know where I'm at

it looks as if we two will never be one

something must be done)

She started to dance, and stopped. "Lord, I can't do it without a partner." She turned, and siezed on the person closest to her. "Here, Ron, help me."

Caught off guard, he stuttered, "I--I don't know how to dance--I was terrible, ask Harry--"
"Well I'll teach you . . . really now . . ."

Ron found himself dragged out to the center of the kitchen floor, Hermione's hand warm in his.

you say "eether" and I say "aither"

you say "neether" and I say, "naither"

eether, aither, neether, naither

let's call the whole thing off

"Put your hand here," she ordered. "On my waist. There." She put her other hand on his shoulder. "All right. Now just listen for the beat, and move like I do."

yes, you like "potato" I like "patato"

you like "tomato", I like "tamato"

potato, patato, tomato, tamato

let's call the whole thing off

He promptly stepped on her foot. "See--I told you--c'mon Hermione--"

"Don't look at your feet! It's fun, really it is, and if you let a few little missteps stop you--well . . ."

but oh if we call the whole thing, then we must part

and oh if we ever part then that might break my heart

He listened hard, and was eventually able to move in sync with her. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that his parents were dancing too, and Harry with--with Ginny?

He stepped on Hermione's foot again. "Sorry--"

"Am I going too fast for you?"

"No--I was distracted."

so if you like "pajahmas", and I like "pajammas"

I'll wear "pajahmas" and give up "pajammas"

for we know we need each other soey

better call the callin' off off

oh let's call the whole thing off!

She grinned at him. "Aren't you having fun? You are--you're smiling, Ron Weasley. You can't fool me."

He did like it--the cheerful, laughing music sparkling in his ears, Hermione in his arms, both of them moving together. He could see why these two Muggles were famous.

(you say "laughter" and I say "lofter"

you say "after" and I say "ofter"

laughter, lofter, after, ofter

let's call the whole thing off!

you like "vanilla" and I like "vanella"

you "sasparilla" and I "sasparella"

vanilla, vanella, aw, chocolate, strawberry!

let's call the whole thing off!

"This is a funny song," he said, for lack of anything better to say. "Potatos and pajamas and vanilla and things--what the heck's it supposed to be about?"

but oh if we call the whole thing off, then we must part

and oh if we ever part, then that might break my heart

Hermione considered that. "I think," she said, "that it's about not letting silly little arguments get in the way when you're with someone you really love." Her eyes met his, and then dropped.

This time, she stepped on his foot.

so if you go for oysters and I go for ursters,

I'll order oysters and cancel the ursters

for we know we need each other so

we better call the callin' off off

let's call the whole thing off!

"Oh--sorry--"

"It's okay," he said, looking down into her wide eyes. "Really."

you say "eether" (and you say "aither")

you say "neether" (and you say, "naither")

eether, (aither), neether, (naither)

let's call the whole thing off

He thought about that, as they danced around the kitchen he'd grown up in, with the smell of his mother's cooking in the air. Hermione had become as much a part of his life as the kitchen and the cooking . . . only . . . more.

you like "potato" (you like "patato")

you like "tomato", (you like "tamato")

potato, (patato), tomato, (tamato)

let's call the whole thing off

"Hermione?" he asked tentatively.

"Yes?"
He took a breath. "About that fight we had--"

"Which one would that be?" she said dryly, but she was smiling.

"The one after the Yule Ball. About Viktor Krum and all that--"

"Oh. What about it?"

"Well--I'm sorry. I was being stupid."

but oh if we call the whole thing off, then we must part

and oh if we ever part then that might break my heart

Her eyes lifted, and the look she gave him was just like the one his mother would give his father sometimes. "It's all right," she said. "Really."

so if you like "pajammas" (like "pajahmas")

I'll wear "pajammas" (you got "pajahmas"!)

for we know we need each other soey

better call the callin' off off

let's call the whole thing off

let's call the whole thing off!