Chapter 11
Kathryn woke up to an empty bed. For just a second she panicked. Then she remembered it was not a dream, it was real. They had declared their intentions last night. He was still here, somewhere. She got up and drew her robe around her tightly. Her muscles ached and she needed a shower and her toothbrush but she needed to find Chakotay first. When she walked into the hall. She heard noises coming from downstairs. She followed the humming sound to the kitchen. Before entering she stood in the doorway and just watched. He was standing over the old fashioned stove humming as he cooked breakfast. Without warning his eyes went to her. He had felt her there watching him. He smiled broadly. "Good morning sleepy head."
"Good morning."
"Breakfast will be ready in about ten minutes. Coffee before or after the shower?"
"After." She was satisfied. With that she returned upstairs to get clean.
Kathryn decided on some very loose simple clothes, a pair of brown slacks and a yellow button down shirt. She brushed her hair and began to pull it up in a clip then she decided against it. She left her hair down and headed to the kitchen for breakfast.
They both ate quickly. They were starving. When the meal was almost over Chakotay asked when her mother would be returning.
"She said they would be here around four. They have to wait for Phoebe's husband to come home from work."
"What are we going to do today?" He asked her this with a sly grin on his lips and a twinkle in his eye.
Kathryn missed it because she was looking down at her coffee. "My mother asked me to clean out some boxes in my father's study. I thought I would have two more months to do it but it seems now I don't" She looked up at him but by now his expression had changed to one of concern. "Would you mind helping me with it? I think it might be …" She stopped in mid sentence. Thoughts of her father rushed back along with all the emotional baggage that came with him.
Chakotay reached over and grabbed her hand. "I understand. Of course I will help you."
They sat for awhile longer drinking coffee and talking about nothing in particular. It was already one in the afternoon by the time they cleaned up and headed to the study.
Kathryn pointed to four boxes stacked on a shelf. Chakotay took each one down and placed it on the floor. Kathryn opened one and found what looked like old Starfleet documents. She passed the box to Chakotay. "Why don't you go through these. They seem to be old papers from Starfleet that my father saved."
"What do you want me look for?"
"Make two piles. One of stuff that is just routine and can be discarded and one with anything you think my mother or I should check."
He attacked that box while she began to go through another. Chakotay didn't find anything very interesting in the papers. They were all just old communication between Starfleet and Edward Janeway. As far as he could tell they were all routine. By the time he finished the one box Kathryn had cleaned out two. "I haven't found anything that seems important. You might want to destroy them just in case but I doubt there is anything of significance in there."
"I found a few interesting things." She held up a very old drawing. "I made this for him when I was five. It was supposed to be a picture of a ship. I told him that I would be the science officer on the ship. He asked me if he could take it to Starfleet so they could use it as a model for future designs. He said he wanted to make sure the ship was ready when I was ready." She held the picture to her chest and smiled. "I remember giggling and telling him that he was silly because Starfleet would never use the drawings of a five year-old. He smiled and took me into his lap and hugged me fiercely then he said, 'it's not just any five year-old, it's you Kathryn Janeway the future's greatest scientist!' I can't believe he saved it all those years."
Chakotay joined her by the desk. He put his hand on her shoulder. "I am sorry I did not know him."
She shook her head a little and pulled in a sniffle. "Me too." She placed the picture in the keep pile. Chakotay suggested a drink so he went to the kitchen to get them something while Kathryn dove into the final box.
He decided on a small snack. He placed two glasses of iced tea and some cheese and grapes on a tray and returned to the study. When he got there she was curled up in her father's over sized desk chair with tears streaming down her face.
He put the tray down and went to her. He got down on his knees and turned the rolling chair to face him. "What is it?"
She reached her one hand up and wiped away a few tears. "It's a letter from my father." She handed it to him. It was a legal size white envelope. It was slightly yellow with age but it was still sealed. On the front it said "My dearest Katie."
In a soft voice she asked, "Will you read it to me I don't think I can?" She showed no signs of moving so he settled into a sitting position on the floor. Kathryn pulled her legs up onto the chair and wrapped her arms tightly around them.
Chakotay looked up and queried, "Are you sure?"
She shook her head yes so he opened the seal.
My Dearest Katie,
If you are reading this it can only mean one of two things, either I am dead or it is two weeks before your wedding. I wrote this letter a week before you, Justin, and myself were scheduled for our test flight. I have a bad feeling about this one Katie. I don't know what it is but something is wrong. Maybe it is just all the time I have spent with the Cardassians that has me spooked but I have a bad feeling in my bones. Maybe that is why I am writing this letter. I may not be able to tell you some of the things I would like to in person so I am putting them down on paper. I know once you are married your life will change so much but you will always be my little bird.
First of all I love you Katie. Until you have children of your own you will not understand the depths of this confession. You and Phoebe are my heart and soul. In Phoebe I see your mother and all the passion and spirit that first attracted me to her. In you I see myself. God help you I see that same stubborn resolve and that belief that you can make the world a better place. Unfortunately those ideals often took me away from the family I loved so much. I know I let you down. Once these problems began with the Cardassians I became a phantom father. I was not there when you needed me. I missed the feel of you sitting by me desk as I worked. I took a strange comfort in knowing you were close by. It often made me work harder to get finished so we could go out exploring. You were always the scientist Katie, asking why about everything but the difference between you and other children is that you wanted a real answer! I want you to know that being away from you girls and your mother is the hardest thing I ever do in my life. Maybe some day when you are older and are sent away on a mission you will understand. Sometimes you have to put aside your own desires for the good of others. I don't like doing it but I think I can make a difference in this affair with the Cradassians. They scare me Katie. They are evil! I am not sure we could win a war against them so I continue to fight through diplomatic channels.
I hope you already know this but I am so very proud of you. You are a fine Starfleet officer. When you graduated from the academy I felt a thrill that I had not felt since the day each of my children were born. All my friends in Starfleet assured me that you will be one of the finest science officers ever. One who wanted a few favors went so far as liken your intelligence to that of Ambassador Spock. I almost laughed as I am sure you would have if you had heard him. You are brilliant and I know you love science but I want to make a different suggestion to you, command school. I know you are surprised but Katie you are a born leader. Think of the difference that you can make sitting in the big chair. I won't push, but please think about it.
Forgive and indulge your father a little but I want to talk to about love. Maybe Justin is the one Katie but I have my doubts. Sure he is a fine man but you two are so much alike. You are both so serious and so driven. Neither of you know how to lighten up or laugh even a little. I am not sure that he is the man for you. I know you were attracted by his intellect but Katie there is so much more in life. You don't want someone who is a carbon copy of yourself; you want to find someone who completes you. Someone who makes you a better person. Look at your mother and me. Could you find two people more different? She has the gentle soul of an artist. Can't you remember all the times you and I were engaged in some heated discussion and she would whisk us away somewhere just for the fun of it. Your mother brought joy to me. Without her I would have become an extremely serious and very full of myself Starfleet officer. Yet she understood the rigors of my job since her father was an admiral. Katie I just want you to have what I have, a soul mate. I am sorry if I am making you mad but I just don't think Justin is it. You are young yet Katie, wait, explore the galaxy. Find a man who is tough enough to deal with your stubbornness but soft enough to soothe your soul. He's out there Katie waiting for you to find him. If you think it is Justin so be it I will never mention it again. I only want what's best for my little girl.
All my love,
Dad
Chakotay looked up to find her crying. He pulled her off of the chair and into his lap. He rocked her gently as the tears continued to flow. When they began to subside Kathryn gazed up at him and saw tears brimming in his eyes. Without words she leaned up higher and kissed him. She needed him now. She needed to feel alive and loved. Her father had been so right all those years ago. They kissed tenderly at first. Each kiss fueled their passion until he suggested that they head upstairs. She forcefully said no and pushed him down on the floor of the study. She took the lead and completely ravished him until they were exhausted. They lay together on the rug in front of her father's desk. "I can't believe that my father was so right all those year's ago. So much of what he said was true. I do understand now why he had to leave so many times and he was right about Justin."
"He was right about something else. I was out there waiting for you to find me."
"It took me an awful long time but I finally did truly find you. Didn't I?"
After the last night he wondered how she could still be unsure. "Yes, you did and I am here to stay!" The old fashioned clock chimed three times. Chakotay jumped. "Kathryn it is three o'clock! Your mother is going to be here soon. I promised to make dinner and we need to go to the market. Let's go!" He pulled her up with one arm. They both rearranged their clothes and left the study.
Chakotay was tossing salad as Gretchen walked into the kitchen. "Working all alone?"
He smiled "Yes, Kathryn is taking a nap."
Gretchen eyed him carefully. "That's not like her. She must be overly tired."
Chakotay wasn't biting. "Where is Phoebe? I am anxious to meet her."
"She took her family to visit Mark." She noticed how Chakotay stiffened when she mentioned his name. "Mark gave Phoebe's children a puppy. The puppies are descendants of Molly, Kathryn's dog. Anyway the children wanted to go see their dog's mother. They should be home in time for dinner." Gretchen began to pull the table apart so she could add a new leaf. Everyone including the children would eat at the table. Once she was done she covered it with a lace tablecloth and began to place the dishes around it. "My grandmother made this table cloth for me when I married Edward." She turned to look at Chakotay who was now working at the stove. He paused and turned around knowing that she was telling him something important. "The only time we use it is for special occasions. I think tonight is a special occasion."
"I don't know what you mean." He was not ready to tell her anything. He felt that that was Kathryn's place.
"No you wouldn't know what I mean. Chakotay, she was lost. Until she decided to ask you to come to the wedding she was lost. She had no purpose, no drive. Can you imagine Katie with no drive? It scared us all. We spent months talking about everything that happened in the Delta Quadrant. I knew she held back some of the more gruesome details but I also knew she held something else back and that was the key to her well being. Finally the night before you arrived she broke down and told me about you and her. I must say the story was a little sad and to be honest very typical of Katie." The stove started to bubble. They both set about stirring and shaking the pots that were cooking on the stove. When the meal seemed to settle down she continued. In a gesture that was exactly like Kathryn's Gretchen placed her hand on Chakotay's arm. "I don't know where this will led but you brought her back to us. For that I will always be grateful." Then she surprised him and hugged him fiercely. She quietly backed away and continued her work. She set about getting things for the table while he cooked. While she placed a vase filled with fresh cut flowers in the center of the table she spoke again. "I had an interesting conversation this afternoon, with Mark. He said that he stopped by yesterday to see Katie."
"That's right."
"He also said that he met a man who claimed that he was going to marry her and hepractically threaten him."
Chakotay smiled. "I didn't think he was smart enough to realize that I was a threat to him."
"His impression of you was interesting to say the least." Gretchen pretending to think before she continued. "I believe the word he used was Neanderthal!"
"Coming from him I will take that as a compliment!" Chakotay turned and set the salad on the table. He walked to the refrigerator and took out the wine that he had chilled.
Gretchen was smiling. "Don't you want to know why Mark called me?"
"I really don't care what Mark had to say. He was jerk years ago when he dumped her and he is a jerk today. End of story."
Gretchen continued anyway. "He begged me to save Katie from you! He wanted me to talk her out of marrying you because you were not her type. He felt it was his duty as her friend to let me know about the colossal mistake that she was making."
His anger took on a life of his own. He needed several calming breaths and was close to invoking the spirits to keep him under control. He did not want to explode at Gretchen but he did want to pulverize Mark! "And," he said though clenched teeth.
Gretchen couldn't help but laugh just as she had done when she spoke with Mark. "Oh, Chakotay, God help me I laughed at him." The tension escaped from his body at the sound of her words. "He has no idea what Katie needs, never did. He was always such a stuffed shirt. Katie was boring when she was with him! Probably the only good thing that happened as a result of her being stuck out there was that she never married him!" She looked over and caught his eye. "Well, maybe not the only good thing," she added with a wink. She turned and continued to fiddle with the napkin rings. "He was never the man for her. He was a reaction to a terrible situation. Mark was safe. You on the other hand are very dangerous." He cocked his head around. His face wore an expression of denial. "You are everything she has avoided all her life, passion. But if I may be so bold, you are the man for her. But I think you already know that."
"Pleading my case for me mother?" Kathryn asked as she walked into the room. She went directly to Chakotay and kissed him. There was a silent communication and a nod of the head. "Mom we have already decided to get married. We don't know when or where, but mom this," she took his hand in hers, "is forever."
Gretchen reached out and hugged her daughter. "Oh, Katie girl I am so happy for you." She knew she was crying and didn't care!
Kathryn returned her embraced and whispered in her mother's ear. "I am done running mom!" With that the kitchen erupted with noise as Phoebe and her crew flew in.
Phoebe walked straight to Chakotay. "Well you must be the illusive first officer."
He reached his hand out to shake her extended hand. "Well you didn't lie Kath, he is gorgeous."
Phoebe's husband winced a little. Gretchen chastised her youngest daughter. "Phoebe! Is nothing sacred?"
Kathryn hugged her sister and her two nieces joined in. "Ma, she is forever Phoebe. Chakotay might as well get used to it now."
Introductions were made and everyone sat down and ate. Dinner was filled with lively conversation of events from the Delta Quadrant and events that they had missed on earth. As they all got up and began to clear the table Phoebe began again. "Kath, I'd say this one is a keeper. Anyone who can cook like this is the perfect man for you!"
Kathryn replied "I'll have you know I helped!"
Now it was Chakotay's turn. "Honey, ripping up the lettuce doesn't really count as help."
She reached for the dish rag and started to throw it at him. Instead of hitting him he caught it and her wrist in one motion and swung his head down and kissed her. It was Phoebe's oldest daughter who broke the mood. "Mommy look Aunt Kathryn is kissing that man." They all laughed including Kathryn and Chakotay.
"Okay everyone but Janeway females go into the living room and wait for desert." Phoebe, Kathryn and Gretchen continued cleaning up. They were interrupted by a little girl with a confused look on her face. "Grandma am I a Janeway female?" Gretchen scooped her up into her arms. "Sweetkins a part of your heart will always be Janeway but for now you go with your father." The little girl kissed her grand mother's cheek. "I love you grandma." "And I love you sweetkins, now run along."
Kathryn had tears in her eyes. "Phoebe they are so wonderful."
"Yeah I know. I am lucky. But your time will come."
"Phoebe I'm almost 50!" Kathryn shook her head . "I don't know."
The dishes were almost cleared. They woman began to get out the plates and forks for the cake that Phoebe had brought. She held it up for inspection. "Chocolate Kath, all chocolate!" The sisters went to carry the food into the living room. The scene they found could have come from a story book. Chakotay was rolling on the floor with the two girls climbing all over him. They were all giggling as they tried to grab his hands and tickle his stomach at the same time.
Phoebe leaned over to her sister. "Yeah Kath, he's a keeper!"
After desert and a few stories everyone decided that it was bedtime. "Girls do you want to sleep in the big bed with grandma?" The girls squealed and jumped up and down shouting yes. The three of them headed up to bed.
Chakotay spoke up. "If you give me a few minutes I'll take my things out of your room Phoebe."
Her husband John, who was standing behind her, smiled and slipped his arms around his wife's waist. "I always wanted to sleep with you in that bed."
Phoebe blushed as she addressed Chakotay. "But where will you sleep?"
Kathryn answered for him. "In my room." The living room got very quiet. Everyone understood the significance of her words. She had just made a very public declaration of their love. Even the unflappable Phoebe was flustered.
"Well, good night then." Her sister said.
John asked, "What time are you leaving for the wedding?"
Kathryn answered, glad for the change in subject. "Around noon. We want to get there in time to settle in and do some site seeing. I think we are going to have dinner with Will and his fiancée and Captain and Mrs. Picard."
"Boy sis you do travel in lofty circles." They hugged and said good night.
When she was almost out of sight Phoebe turned. "Hey Kath Imagine Dad's reaction if he were here. His two baby girls having a man in their rooms."
Phoebe disappeared and didn't hear her sister whisper, "he might not be as surprised as you think."
Chakotay turned off the lights and followed Kathryn up to bed. A feeling of warmth filled his body as he realized that he would soon be part of this wonderful family.
