Chapter 12

They were ready to leave. Phoebe had already said good-bye. She left earlier in the morning to go back home. Now it was just Kathryn, Chakotay and her mother. Her mother was holding her tightly and trying desperately not to cry. Kathryn was attempting to soothe her. "Mom, it is a humanitarian mission. I will be fine."

Gretchen lifted up her apron to wipe her eyes. "I know. It's just that I thought we had more time. I enjoyed having you here, you know, talking."

Her mother was flustered. Kathryn knew it. She stepped back but still held on to her hand. "We have to go."

Gretchen reluctantly let go. "I know." Chakotay leaned over and hugged the woman. "You take care of my baby girl. You hear me?"

He kissed her cheek. "I will, with my life if necessary."

As they walked away Gretchen called after them. "Forget this with my life stuff. Both of you come back to me and if you could arrange it, I wouldn't mind a grandchild either!"

Kathryn turned and gaped at her mother. She just smiled at her daughter and turned to go into the house.

They headed to the transport in silence walking arm and arm. "The last time my mother said good-bye, I didn't return for seven years."

He pulled her closer. "I know Kathryn. You came home that time and you'll come home this time, maybe with a little gift for her." He reached over and touched her stomach.

"You are incorrigible!"

The minute they arrived on Betazed she felt the change in him. He stepped off the transport and looked around. The city itself didn't look much different from many others they had visted. It wasn't what he saw but rather what he felt.

He had begun to walk away alone. Kathryn caught up to him in a few steps. He seemed to be caught in a trance. She grabbed his arm and turned him around. "Chakotay what is it? What is wrong?"

His eyes were still scanning everything. "Nothing is wrong. In fact every thing feels right." He took her hand and they continued walking. "It is hard to describe but the minute we arrived I felt something. It was like a calming wind blew through my soul. There is just an aura of serenity permeating the air." He knew he wasn't making sense. It was difficult to put feelings this intense into words.

Kathryn reached her other hand over and patted his arm. "I understand." Then she chuckled just a little.

"What's so funny?" They were at a place in their relationship where he did not take offense at her laughter.

"What you don't understand is that that is exactly how you make me feel." She motioned with her hand for them to stop and sit on a bench that they were approaching. They seemed to be walking through what looked like some sort of school complex. Once they sat she turned to face him. "There were many times when your mere presence was the one thing that kept me calm. When I was facing down someone on the view screen and you would come and stand just behind me I would feel a sense of peace wash over me. It was like your presence cleared up the clutter in my mind." Now it was his turn to laugh. She continued. "I don't feel anything different here on the planet than I did on Voyager or in Indiana. What I feel is you."

He took her in his arms and held her close to him. Without any forethought she uttered the words that were in her heart, "I love you."

He pulled back and kissed her. They sat entwined together as passersby looked on. When the kiss finally broke, they both were grinning.

"We better get out of here Kathryn, before we embarrass ourselves."

"You're right. We look like students!" They got up and continued in the direction that Will had given her.

Not ten minutes later they arrived at the address that she had been sent. It reminded Kathryn of an English Manor House. When the door opened they both craned their necks to view the man standing before them. He was enormous! He did not speak but simply looked at them expectantly. Finally Kathryn spoke up. "I am Captain Janeway and this is Commander Chakotay. We were given this address by Commander Riker. We are here for his wedding."

The tall gentleman smiled slightly while he stepped back from the door and motioned for them to enter. They walked into a round foyer that had rooms located off it in all directions. There was a large chandelier above the center of the room and a long staircase against the far wall. At the top of the stairs a balconied hallway stretched across the entire length of the west end of the house. They both remained in stunned silence admiring the home.

A female voice caught their attention. "Who is it Mr. Homm?" In walked a tall woman with black hair. She wore a green floor length dress that could only be described as sparkling. Chakotay noticed that she had an air of superiority about her. She was a woman of strength and position.

She attempted to speak to them empathically even though she knew it was useless. Their Starfleet uniforms gave that away. "I am Lwaxana Troi and who might you be?" Her voice was dripping with what appeared to be condensation.

Kathryn repeated what she had told Mr. Homm on the doorstep. The woman checked her guest list. She eyed Janeway pointedly. "You are one of the guests, from the grooms side." The disgust was evident in her voice. She nodded her head toward Chakotay. "No one told me you would be bringing a guest. Then again that is just like my daughter. She volunteered to house people in our home without consulting me and she is not here handling the details." As she ranted Lwaxana walked into what was perceived to be the living room. Not knowing what to do the pair stood where they were. "For goodness sakes come in." She called to them. "I am not going to throw you out just because my own daughter has chosen to be inconsiderate. She invites people we don't even know into my home and then she leaves me here to take care of everything. It is all very vexing." With the last statement she sat on the chair in what could be construed as a swoon.

Chakotay could feel Kathryn getting nervous. Before she could say anything inappropriate Chakotay spoke up. "Oh, Mrs. Troi," he walked over and sat on the couch just beside her chair, "We never meant to inconvenience you!" He picked up her hand and brought it to his lips for a soft kiss of greeting. He now had her undivided attention. "I am sure a woman as capable as you can find a solution." He eyed her expectantly. "Of course we would be more than happy to share the room you set aside for the Captain if it will ease your burden."

"You are a charmer my dear boy." She pats his cheek. "I believe I will thoroughly enjoy seeing you at the wedding." She eyed him hungrily and laughed. "Mr. Homm, show them to their room." She threw a wicked smile in Chakotay's direction.

Kathryn didn't know whether to laugh or be angry at the display she had just witnessed. As they walked up the stairs she said, "You sure handled that situation well! Your own unique brand of first contact."

"She was very easy to read. I knew what she wanted from the moment I met her. She likes to be flattered and she enjoys flirting."

"You are very good at flirting."

"You above all people should know that!" He leaned toward her and whispered in her ear. "If I didn't know better I would think the great Captain Janeway was jealous." He said that teasingly as they stopped at the top of the stairs. Mr. Homm pointed to a room at the far end of the hall. "Thank you. We'll manage." The quiet giant left them alone. Chakotay glanced in her direction and saw a strange look on her face. He turned to her and put both of his hands on her arms holding her facing him. "What is the matter Kathryn?"

At first she shook her head as if to say nothing but then she decided to be totally honest. "I don't like seeing you flirt with another woman and it makes me feel like an insecure stupid child to feel that way."

He surprised her by hugging her close and laughing. "I think it is adorable that you are feeling that way but you don't have to be jealous. The only woman I have eyes for is you! Come on, let's find our room and I'll have more than just eyes for you."

As they approached the end of the hall and the room that Mr. Homm had directed them to a man came out of the adjacent room. He seemed to be in a rush. No not a rush Kathryn thought, but a purpose. He walked with a quiet determination, like he was the master of his domain. He finally looked up just as he was about to bump into them.

"Captain Janeway, hello."

She knew she was easily recognizable since Voyager's return from the Delta Quadrant had been such big news. On top of that she was in uniform. That's when it clicked, the uniform. She did not recognize him because he was out of uniform. "Captain Picard how wonderful to see you." Chakotay was stunned. The man had looked familiar but he did not recognize him. The legendary captain seemed different in real life.

She turned and motioned toward Chakotay. "This is my first officer, Commander Chakotay." Both Kathryn and Chakotay were nervous. Even though he had been cleared by Starfleet, the inquiry had made Chakotay's past well known. They were never quite sure how someone deeply entrenched in Starfleet tradition would view him.

Picard immediately put out his hand. "Of course I would know this man anywhere. That was an amazing discovery your team made in Arizona. I would love to hear all about it. In fact I was just leaving to do some exploring in the Jalara Jungle. Care to join me?"

Chakotay looked at Kathryn. She could see the excitement in his eyes. She smiled warmly. Her eyes told him all he needed to know. "Give me five minutes to change and I'll meet you downstairs."

Picard looked cautiously down the hall. "I'll wait right here if you don't mind."

Chakotay understood immediately. "I see you met her too."

"Oh, we have a long standing acquaintance."

Both Kathryn and Chakotay eyed him curiously. Then Chakotay spoke. "Well, I will be interested in hearing that tale."

The couple entered their room. "What will you do while I am gone?"

Kathryn watched him as he changed. She was a little sorry he was leaving. He caught her eye and immediately knew what she was thinking. Dressed only in his shorts he pushed her back on the bed where she was sitting. He covered her body with his and kissed her deeply. When he broke away he looked into her eyes and saw that they were glazed over with passion. "We will finish this later I promise!" He got up from the bed and finished dressing. Kathryn closed her eyes and thought about taking a nap.

"Will you be here when I get back?"

She rolled up on one elbow. "I don't know. I was thinking that I would take a nap and then maybe go to the museum. I hear it has a wonderful collection of modern art. If I am not here I'll leave you a note and we can meet somewhere for dinner. I want some plans firmly in place in case we are invited to dine here. I don't think I am up to having dinner with the mother of the bride!"

"I know what you mean!" He walked to the bed and kissed her on the head. He started to go to the door and then he turned around. She was almost asleep already. He felt a little guilty that she hadn't gotten much sleep the past two nights. "Hey." She looked up. "I love you." Kathryn smiled a dreamy smile and put her head back down on the pillow before saying, "I know," as she closed her eyes once again. Chakotay left to explore the jungle with Captain Picard while Kathryn slept the deep sleep of the contented.

Kathryn found herself walking aimlessly around the museum. It occurred to her that she had not done anything aimlessly in a very long time. It was an interesting revelation. As she wandered among the exhibits she thought back on her life and realized how almost every action she had taken was directed at achieving a goal. First getting into the academy. Then being the best science officer she could become. Then serving Starfleet as a captain. She realized now that along the way she had lost a big part of herself. Maybe it wasn't really lost but hidden. The part of her that came from her mother, the passion, the joy, the fun. It had been a long time since she had just had fun. Even when she was on Voyager playing pool, or flirting with Chakotay there was always a reservation. She was always holding back for fear. Fear of what? Disappointing Starfleet? Disappointing her father? Ironically it was Starfleet that disappointed her where Chakotay and the Maquis were concerned. While her father surprised her with his letter where he urged her to find real love. He would be happy if he were here. Chakotay would not be in awe of him like Justin was. No, Chakotay would stand toe to toe with him. What wonderful arguments those two would have had she thought. Kathryn was smiling as she meandered into a room filled with paintings. One caught her eye. She sat down on the bench and allowed herself to be drawn into the work of art. It was a picture of nothing as far as she could tell but it evoked strong emotion. It was vibrant, almost alive. Something about it captured her.

"It's amazing isn't it?"

Kathryn turned around to see a petite dark haired woman standing behind the bench admiring the same painting. "Yes, it is."

The woman approached and sat down. "I have stared at this painting for countless hours through the course of my life and it never ceases speaking to my soul." Both women sat in silence letting the emotion of the art seep into their souls. Finally the woman turned to Kathryn and spoke. "I am sorry for being rude. I am Deanna Troi."

Kathryn's face softened as she heard the name. This was Will's finance. "I am.."

"I know Captain Janeway. You are quite recognizable." Sensing her discomfort Deanna apologized. "I am sorry for intruding. I did not mean to intrude Captain." Deanna had stood up and was backing away from the bench.

Kathryn also stood and reached out to touch Deanna's arm. "You did not intrude. I gather since you are from here you are empathic." A shake of Deanna's head was the reply Kathryn expected. "I was not uncomfortable because of you. I have not adjusted to the fact that I am so easily recognized."

"Oh, I understand. You made quite an impression on Will when he first met you. Not many women have your spunk."

"Is it spunk or stupidity?"

Deanna laughed. "I would like to get to know you. Would you like to go to the café and have some hot chocolate?"

"If they have coffee I would love too. Lead the way."

"Maybe we can have two cups. I am not in a hurry to get home."

Kathryn laughed. Deanna looked at her. "I see you've met my mother." She sounded exasperated.

"She is an interesting woman."

Now Deanna was laughing. "I can tell Captain that you are a true diplomat!"

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Captain Picard and Chakotay had been exploring the jungle for about two hours when they decided to rest by a stream. They had talked about everything from the discoveries that Chakotay's group had made in Arizona to Captain Picard's assimilation by the Borg. Both men drank deeply from the canteen that Picard had brought. Then they sat back on the rock formation to relax for awhile before beginning the long journey back.

Captain Picard picked up a rock and skipped it across the water. "You are one hell of an explorer."

"Coming from you I take that as quite a compliment."

Picard joined him on the rock. "It was meant to be. How have things been for you since you returned?"

Chakotay eyed him curiously. "Why do you ask?"

Picard usually was not this forward with people. Being a private man himself he tended to keep a comfortable distance from people. But he felt something of a kinship with this man, a love of the land and the knowledge it held. "When Captain Janeway first introduced you, you seemed tense, like you were unsure how I would respond."

Chakotay shrugged a little. "I have had to defend myself a few times. There are many people in Starfleet who were not happy with the outcome of the inquiry."

"There are many people in Starfleet who don't know their arse from their elbow!"

Chakotay was surprised. He expected this man, the great captain of the flagship of the federation to be stogy. He laughed. "I never thought I'd hear someone like you say that."

"Many of those people who are making decisions for you and me have not left their desk in years! They don't know what it is like to make split second life and death decisions. Then they want to discuss the decisions you made and pass judgment on them."

"That's exactly how I feel!" Chakotay rose up a little as he spoke. "Don't get me wrong I am grateful for the full pardon and the commission but I was very angry that they questioned Captain Janeway's decisions. Take the pressure you feel on an away mission and multiply that by 70,000 light years and that is what we felt like out there alone. Yet she demanded we uphold the Starfleet protocols and ideals and she almost gets court martialed for it. It was almost enough to make me quit Starfleet again!" Just talking about it was making Chakotay mad again.

"There was a lot going on behind closed doors. The desk jockeys couldn't understand the things she did. Thank God there were some admirals involved that actually had some away mission experience. I often thought what would ever happen if James Kirk had come before an admiral review. Do you think he would have passed?" Picard began to prepare himself for the journey back.

Chakotay stood up and did the same. "I don't know. He was a colorful man."

"To say the least!" The conversation continued as they walked back through the jungle. "Are you planning on making a career in Starfleet?"

Chakotay blushed a little. "It depends."

Picard smiled knowingly, "A woman."

"Is it that obvious?"

"Maybe not to everyone, but after spending years with Troi and Riker, let's just say I have become a little more attuned than I used to be."

"I guess my future in Starfleet may depend on how they respond to our being together."

"It would be very difficult for them to censure their current golden girl. She made quite a name for herself bringing her crew back from what everyone considered certain death. I'd say it was one of the most remarkable feats that anyone has ever accomplished."

Chakotay smiled to himself and echoed part of Captain Picard's remarks. "Yes, she is remarkable."

The men both laughed. Picard slapped Chakotay on the back. "Let's get you back to that remarkable woman and me back to my pregnant wife!"

The two men who had so little in common and yet so much walked toward the outer edge of the Jalara Jungle where each man's destiny awaited.

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In the café Kathryn inhaled the aroma of her coffee and smiled. "This was one of the things that I missed when I was gone, fresh brewed coffee!"

"I know what you mean. When I was in deep space I always craved real chocolate, not the replicated stuff, the real thing."

Kathryn raised her mug, "A toast to you and Will and your upcoming wedding."

Deanna toasted, "And to you and your new found love."

Kathryn blushed, "Am I that obvious?"

"No, I can just sense it. I cannot wait to meet him. I am correct. He is here isn't he?"

"Yes, he is. In fact it was your wedding that brought us together."

Deanna smiled. "Do tell."

Kathryn proceeded to tell her how the invitation to the wedding had been her excuse to get in touch with him again. She told her all about their time in Indiana and even about their time on Voyager. When she finished she realized that she had talked for an hour. She was taken aback with herself.

"I am so sorry. I never meant to go on and on."

"Don't be sorry. It was wonderful to hear. It is not often that I hear a story about love that is as complicated as mine and Will's." Both woman shared a smile. "One more cup?"

"Why not."

After their next cup was served. Deanna leaned across the table. "So, tell me why exactly did you run out on Will all those years ago."

Kathryn grinned knowing that Deanna would understand her next sentence completely. "He was just too dangerous for me."

"That's exactly what my mother called him."

"I got the distinct impression when I was at your house that your mother doesn't care for him."

"I am sure you got a few more impressions along the way." Deanna sighed as she thought about her mother. "It's not that she doesn't like him. It's just that he made me do some things that my mother didn't like."

Kathryn eyed her with interest.

"Will challenged me to be more than what my mother expected me to be. She wanted me to stay here and live out what she considered to be my destiny. The daughter of the Fifth House. Holder of the Sacred Chalice of Riix. Heir to the Holy Rings of Betazed."

"That sounds like a very important destiny."

"You've met my mother. You know how forceful she can be. Will made me look at what I wanted to do, not what she wanted me to do. That eventually led me to Starfleet and away from Betazed. She also feels that I am letting my heritage go by not using my mental abilities." Deanna got a devilish smile on her face. "It drives her crazy when I talk out loud to her instead of in her head."

"Can you do that? I mean talk to someone directly into their mind."

"Yes, I can, but the person has to clear their mind and be ready to receive it."

Kathryn thought for a few moments. "Is it something you can learn or is it strictly your culture?"

"Some people who are not Betazoid have learned to communicate in that manner but it takes a lot of mental discipline and training."

"Can Will do it?"

Deanna smiled as she thought of their connection. "Sometimes he can but not for very long. He is out of practice. You seem very interested. Have you ever experienced it?"

"Not exactly. It's just that." Kathryn was excited to talk about the unique connection she felt with Chakotay. From what Deanna just told her she thought she would understand. "Chakotay and I seem to have this thing."

"Thing?" Deanna sked while taking her last sip of hot chocolate.

"I am not sure what to call it. We both know when ever each other is near. It's like a feeling. I sense his presence. There are other times when we seem to be having a conversation using only our eyes. It's like we are reading each other's minds."

"It's possible that you are sharing some form of communication. I would have to spend time in both your presences to know for sure. We can talk more about it after dinner tomorrow. You are having dinner with us and the captain, aren't you? I am sorry Captain Janeway, I should say us and Captain Picard."

"Please call me Kathryn. Yes, Chakotay and I had planned to join you tomorrow night. I was hoping to eat alone tonight. Your mother isn't planning anything is she?" Kathryn asked this dreading the possible answer.

Deanna reached over and touched her hand slightly. "Don't worry, you are safe. Tonight it is tradition to dine with the leading families of Betazed. Poor Will will be up to his ears in telepaths." Deanna's smile changed very subtly. "In fact the house will be empty most of the evening. Why don't we go to this restaurant I know and get some food to go. Then you can have a nice quiet evening alone and uninterrupted."

"Sound like a great plan."

Both woman left the café in very high spirits. As they walked away Deanna was busy suggesting a store where they could buy some new night wear and candles!