Chapter 7: Sheer Madness

Tifa woke up the next morning with an incredible feeling of shame and disgust from what she'd done the previous day. Why did she feel the need to stare at him? Why did she allow herself to be caught? Why? Why? Why? Tifa rolled over and realized the familiar body wasn't where it should be.
"Oh well," she thought, and looked over to see Sephiroth sleeping in the chair. "It's best if he sleeps over there, I guess, it'd probably be really uncomfortable to sleep in the same bed." Getting up to go to the shower, Tifa felt a new wave of emotion hit her. She felt completely undesirable, a feeling of unwantedness. No one wanted her. Both Cloud and Sephiroth wanted Aeris; they want her girlish charm, soft brown hair, beautiful sea eyes, her infectious laugh.
"God," she started thinking," why would anyone want a tough girl from the slums that was a former bar hostess? Certainly not Cloud... or Sephiroth. W-w-w-wait a minute, why do I care what Sephiroth wants? He's just my kidnapper and probably...my
murderer. Why do I care anyway, what good would it do me to keep myself alive. All I'm suceptible to is more suffering and more pain. Cloud doesn't want me, he made that quite clear and Sephiroth... well Sephiroth, he wants Aeris to be his, why else would he put up with all this shit if he didn't love her. Love? Is that man really capable of loving? It sure seemed like he was, but she wasn't quite sure. Perhaps... OH GOD WHY DO I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT WHY HE LOVES AERIS!!!!!!! If I keep this up, I'm going to drive myself crazy." Tifa continued to the bathroom and took a shower.

Sephiroth just woke up with a sore body and aching joints.
"Why did I sleep in this stupid chair?" he asked himself,"Oh that's right, I couldn't sleep in that bed, not last night."
He stood up and rubbed the back of the neck. Hearing the shower running, he assumed Tifa was in there.
"What exactly happened yesterday? Why was she looking at me like that. No one's ever looked at me with such... curious eyes. Sure Aeris had at one point, but she was so much younger. Why didn't I look away, all I did was cause further confusion. If we hadn't looked away, then we might've... I don't even want to think about what might've happened. Am I attracted to her? No, I can't be. I love Aeris and I know that she's the only one meant for me, period. Tifa's in love with Cloud, there's no way she'd be looking otherwise either. I saw the way she stood by him on my mad raving quest for world domination. If she had her way, I probably would've ate a lot of fist in that last battle. She hates me anyway, she hates me with a passion. I killed her father, destroyed her hometown, nearly killed her best friend, and roused up so much confusion that would put any normal person in an asylum. I was even surprised at the fact that she agreed to go along with the plan. Well I guess it's anything at all for the one you love. I'd do anything for Aeris..."
Sephiroth walked around and made the food rations that got her and him through eveyday. While eating his, he put Tifa's on the table so she could eat it when she came out.
"Hmm... I have to furthur detail my plan, I expect Cloud to be here by next week if all goes well. So that means I have to really give convincing dreams to Aeris. If she loved me... then why would I even have to give her convincing dreams?"
"Because she fell for someone else, stupid," he thought again," Oh how I enjoyed slicing that son of a bitch Cloud with my sword. But he threw me in that damn reactor, little bastard. I got lucky to actually get out of there unmaimed. I'd do it again, spill his blood relentlessly if he stood in my way, in my quest... for Aeris. I'd be so ruthless, slashing his flesh, making him bleed AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!" Sephiroth shot up again.
"It's happening again... I'm going crazy... I'm driving myself towards the edge to complete lunacy. I can't let that happen, I won't let that happen, not again. Not when I'm so close in achieving what I longed for for so long. Is she worth it? Is she worth all of this madness that possessing me, just because we had something I wish to replenish. She made me feel whole, when she left me I couldn't bear the world. That's why I must be with her!" he explained to himself," Wait, but she loves Cloud right now, why does she love him, that pathetic little wuss, man I swear, when I see him I'm going to... NO I'M DOING IT AGAIN!!!" Sephiroth picked up the bowl and shattered it on the ground. Gripping his hair, he sank to his knees in mind-boggling agony.
"Sephiroth, what's wrong?" he heard Tifa say, coming out of the bathroom in a linen towel. He couldn't find the strengh to answer her and passed out.

When Tifa came out of the bathroom she saw Sephiroth on his knees, gripping his hair. She asked him what was wrong, she got no answer and now he was sprawled on the floor. Immediatly she rushed towards him. From the looks of it, Sephiroth passed out. Tifa lifted his shoulders and was overwhelmed by how heavy he was. She dragged him to the bed and successfully put him in it. Her hand felt for a temperature, but he didn't have a fever; physically, he looked completely normal.
"Oh god, oh god," she thought, she didn't know what to do. Suddenly he started to glow a reddish color. Now she knew what it was, Sephiroth was berserked. She took a closer examination and realized that he was confused also. Never before had she heard of someone inducing berserk or confuse on themselves unknowingly like that. This was very strange. Tifa ran to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom to look for a remedy. Luckily, she found a vial of the needed liquid. She ran back to Sephiroth and knelt by the bed. Parting his lips, she realized that Sephiroth would choke on the liquid since he was unconsious. He can't swallow it either, how is she going to cure him. He has to take the remedy, or he could possibly stay unconsious forever.
"Wait a minute, I could take advantage of this situation. I could escape since he can't stop me. I'm pretty sure I could find my way out of here and plus Sephiroth likes to underestimate people. I bet I could take on those monsters," she thought.
She glanced back at Sephiroth and knew she could do no such thing to him. It would be cruel and heartless, just like him.
"There's gotta be a way to get that liquid down his throat, there has to be!" she thought anxiously," Hmmm... everything moves by force. If I found a stronger force to move the liquid, it'd be able to get down his throat, but it has to be a force light enough so it won't damage his esophagus." She thought some more and she thought of a way to get the remedy digested, she just was reluctant to use it.
"Air would get the remedy down, but I'd have to project it through my mouth. Do I really want to do this?(Tifa listen to yourself Goddammit! For once you have to stop being so selfish!)," she thought," There's only one option, and I have to take it. His life depends on it." Tifa opened the vial and poured its contents in her mouth without swallowing. She then lifted Sephiroth's head, parted his lips, and put her mouth on his. Her mouth didn't part from his until every drop was down his throat. She rose and looked at him. The red was disappearing from his face and he seemed more relaxed. Without knowing it, Tifa was smiling and let out a great sigh of relief.
Sephiroth fluttered his eyes open and was surprised to see Tifa's smiling face right above his. She was still holding his head and he had no idea what just happened.
"What happened?" he asked.
"You were unconsious; somehow you berserked and confused yourself. I uhh... gave you a remedy. I should be the one asking you what happened," she replied.
"I was just sitting in the chair, thinking and this sudden madness came over me and I guess I blacked out."
"What were you thinking about?"
"I was going over details of my plan, that's all." Tifa knew there was something more, but she decided not to press it any furthur. She started to turn away, but Sephiroth took her hand.
"Tifa," he started," I-I was so confused. When I passed out, I felt like, I was being pulled in an abyss, an abyss of sheer madness. It was like a gravity was pulling me towards it, towards the lunacy. It-it's happening to me again."
"Sephiroth, what do you mean?" Tifa asked, obviously concerned.
"When I think about the plan, you and Cloud, Aeris, and myself, I just battle these bouts of insanity. At first, they were just small ones, little ones that you could just shake off and not worry about. But lately, they've been getting stronger and stronger," he told her.
"Everytime you think about the plan? Sephiroth, why does that happen to you?"
"I don't know, all I know is that if I don't find some kind of cure, I won't come back next time or..."
"Or? Or what, what will happen???" she questioned wide-eyed.
"Remember, the Meteor?" he inquired. A wave of realization hit Tifa and she knew what might happen... next time.
"Are you saying, you'll go crazy again?"
"You must be the queen of understatements," he chuckled. Tifa didn't laugh, she knew that this was indeed a very serious matter. The planet would be in danger again, there was no way that she could let that happen. When the time comes, she would have to kill Sephiroth, to protect the planet.
"Look Tifa, we can't give up on the plan, we're so close, so close, and you can't give up on me either," Sephiroth said.
"Huh?" Tifa was surprised at his remark," What do you mean?"
"I know myself going crazy scares you because you fear for the planet, your friends, and your life. As long as I can stay sane, we'll be fine, so don't give on me, we have time still."
"What's preventing you from going over and getting Aeris right now, she undoubtably alone? Cloud's out looking for me probably."
"She's not convinced yet. The moment she's entirely convinced that we are supposed to be together, I am going to retrieve her."
"You say it like she's your possession that someone stole from you," Tifa remarked. Sephiroth squeezed her hand tighter, almost crushing it. He looked up at her and Tifa could see the pure rage in his eyes.
"That's because she was MINE, and your poor 'beau' TOOK HER AWAY FROM ME!" he shouted.
"Ooowwwwwww Sephiroth, you're-you're hurting me," she said. He looked at her and saw the genuine fear and hurt in her eyes. As he kept looking, he calmed down and loosened his grip on her.
"I-I'm sorry," he said looking down. Tifa took her hand and lifted his chin.
"Listen, Sephiroth, in order for this whole thing to work, you're going to have to calm down. Now look, I'll do everything I can to stop you from erupting your anger, but you're going to have to work out the details of your plan by contolling your anger."
"(sigh) Ok, fine." He let go of her hand and Tifa stood up.
"You didn't even bother to get changed woman?" he chuckled, pointing out that she was still in the towel. She looked at herself and then glared wide-eyed.
"Hey!! I saved your life so I don't want any of those obnoxious comments from you!" she said, showing her annoyance. Sephiroth got up and grabbed her left hand again.
"Like I said in the beginning, you are in no position to demand anything. You forget, that I can still kill you."
"Uggghhh, oh you're such a smug asshole!" she shouted and rushed to the bathroom. Undoubtably, Sephiroth had that malvolent grin spread across his face.