AN: More Duo one-shot angst from me. Twisty, though. I hope you enjoy. I had fun writing this one. (BtW, I was listening to Linkin Park when I wrote this, at least, for the last half. Hn. It could be background music, if you will.)
Disclaimer: If I owned Gundam Wing, why would I write fanfic for it? (In other words, no, I don't own it)
Time/Spoilers: Anytime during the war, after he met the others, anyway. That's about it.
The "We" in "I"
By AKGaston
Duo.
Me.
Myself.
I.
Two in one. One in two. Two in five. Five in fourteen. Fourteen in seven billion.
I know my math.
As surely as I know the sun does rise. Which will happen in... fourteen minutes. Fourteen minutes, three seconds. Fourteen minutes of relief.
Then the sun will rise.
Then I'll have to "wake up", get out of bed, crack some jokes, climb into my Gundam, quip to those I kill, come home, make fun, eat, fool around, "sleep". But all the while...
But all the while... They won't shut up. Oh, They will at dusk, They always do, but that won't stop me from staying awake all night, thinking about what I heard over the day, what They told me.
Even the Perfect Soldier sleeps.
They won't let me. I have to hear Them, if only in memory. Listen to Them. Hear Them. THEM.
I bury my face in my pillow. It isn't yet dawn! They aren't here. It shouldn't bother me. They shouldn't bother me. Not now. It is silent. SILENT!
For once.
No.
No, it is always silent once the sun sets. Then it is quiet. Now it is quiet. Silent. I should be able to rest.
Not for long.
My eyes make their way to the clock again. Shit! Eight minutes left! Eight! Shit! Where did the time go? How could I have squandered those precious seconds?! Why had I-?!
No.
I mustn't fight myself like this.
No mortal can waylay the dawn.
I want to laugh. I am intelligent, strong. But if the others heard these thoughts, they think me another. If they could hear what I hear...
Then they would know why I laugh.
So I won't have to hear Them.
All the time...
My eyes force their way open again. Three minutes.
"I'm sorry," I tell Them in advance. And I am. But I know me, and I know the pilots. And They would be a larger number by the sunset that evening.
More. I wince.
It would be even louder.
God, once the sun rose, once I saw it, They never shut up.
Until nightfall.
I hate being Shinigami.
The dead never rest.
Except at night.
But, even then, They don't let ME rest. Even once it is dark-
The alarm goes off. Heero hits it, sitting up. I close my eyes, feigning sleep. The sun trickles its way into the room as he tells me to get ready for the mission.
I bury myself deeper under the covers.
He thinks it is to shirk my duties.
It is because They are awake too.
All of Them.
"Duo!" "Help us!" "You know me, don't you, Duo? I was in that last battle. You were the one." "Hear me!" "I am dead, aren't I Duo?" "Duo, listen to us." "Where's my mommy, Duo?" "You are Shinigami! Only you can help us, Duo..."
They go on as I get up, plastering on a grin and trying to make Heero laugh. Failing that, I laugh for myself.
They are so loud. Loud.
I get ready for the day ahead, trying to force their voices away.
"...Duo." "Duo! Listen to me, please!" "Why don't you do something?" "Where am I Duo? What is this place?" "Duo..."
Two in one. We in an I.
I.
Myself.
Me.
Me, myself, and I. That is what it should be.
Instead it is Duo and They.
Forever.
One can't be Duo and walk alone.
Disclaimer: If I owned Gundam Wing, why would I write fanfic for it? (In other words, no, I don't own it)
Time/Spoilers: Anytime during the war, after he met the others, anyway. That's about it.
The "We" in "I"
By AKGaston
Duo.
Me.
Myself.
I.
Two in one. One in two. Two in five. Five in fourteen. Fourteen in seven billion.
I know my math.
As surely as I know the sun does rise. Which will happen in... fourteen minutes. Fourteen minutes, three seconds. Fourteen minutes of relief.
Then the sun will rise.
Then I'll have to "wake up", get out of bed, crack some jokes, climb into my Gundam, quip to those I kill, come home, make fun, eat, fool around, "sleep". But all the while...
But all the while... They won't shut up. Oh, They will at dusk, They always do, but that won't stop me from staying awake all night, thinking about what I heard over the day, what They told me.
Even the Perfect Soldier sleeps.
They won't let me. I have to hear Them, if only in memory. Listen to Them. Hear Them. THEM.
I bury my face in my pillow. It isn't yet dawn! They aren't here. It shouldn't bother me. They shouldn't bother me. Not now. It is silent. SILENT!
For once.
No.
No, it is always silent once the sun sets. Then it is quiet. Now it is quiet. Silent. I should be able to rest.
Not for long.
My eyes make their way to the clock again. Shit! Eight minutes left! Eight! Shit! Where did the time go? How could I have squandered those precious seconds?! Why had I-?!
No.
I mustn't fight myself like this.
No mortal can waylay the dawn.
I want to laugh. I am intelligent, strong. But if the others heard these thoughts, they think me another. If they could hear what I hear...
Then they would know why I laugh.
So I won't have to hear Them.
All the time...
My eyes force their way open again. Three minutes.
"I'm sorry," I tell Them in advance. And I am. But I know me, and I know the pilots. And They would be a larger number by the sunset that evening.
More. I wince.
It would be even louder.
God, once the sun rose, once I saw it, They never shut up.
Until nightfall.
I hate being Shinigami.
The dead never rest.
Except at night.
But, even then, They don't let ME rest. Even once it is dark-
The alarm goes off. Heero hits it, sitting up. I close my eyes, feigning sleep. The sun trickles its way into the room as he tells me to get ready for the mission.
I bury myself deeper under the covers.
He thinks it is to shirk my duties.
It is because They are awake too.
All of Them.
"Duo!" "Help us!" "You know me, don't you, Duo? I was in that last battle. You were the one." "Hear me!" "I am dead, aren't I Duo?" "Duo, listen to us." "Where's my mommy, Duo?" "You are Shinigami! Only you can help us, Duo..."
They go on as I get up, plastering on a grin and trying to make Heero laugh. Failing that, I laugh for myself.
They are so loud. Loud.
I get ready for the day ahead, trying to force their voices away.
"...Duo." "Duo! Listen to me, please!" "Why don't you do something?" "Where am I Duo? What is this place?" "Duo..."
Two in one. We in an I.
I.
Myself.
Me.
Me, myself, and I. That is what it should be.
Instead it is Duo and They.
Forever.
One can't be Duo and walk alone.
