Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men Evolution. Like I really needed to tell you people that!
Meditation For Mutants
"Kitty come on," Lance whined on the phone. "But I…But…But…now wait a minute! Oh give me a break! Fine!" He hung up angrily. "Oh man what did I do that for?" He shouted and started dialing again. "Kitty? Kitty I…AGGGHH!" He slammed the phone down again.
"You are so pathetic," Pietro laughed. Lance glared at him. "I mean…hey! What are Blob and Toad doing in the living room?"
"What are you losers doing this time?" Lance walked in the living room. There were candles everywhere and the CD player was making strange noises. "It smells like a perfume shop exploded in here!" He waved his hand in front of his face.
"Scented candles," Todd explained. He and Fred were sitting cross-legged on the floor on some mats. "It's supposed to relax you yo."
"Why?" Lance asked.
"We're meditating," Fred said.
"Well that's an activity I never pictured the two of you doing," Pietro remarked. "Considering it involves using your brain. Okay what brought this on? And what is the deal with the CD player? It sounds like attack of the killer seagulls."
"It's the sound of the ocean," Fred explained. "Remember when Toad and I split up from you guys at the mall the other day? Well we went into this cool store that had all this yoga stuff and everything. We looked in a couple of books and this meditation stuff is supposed to help with anger management and wellness and we thought why not? It's something new to do and it's pretty cheap."
"Yeah we stole the mats from the school gym and got the CD and we're all set to go," Todd piped up.
"Looks like fun," Pietro said. He sat down at a mat. "We'll try it."
"Speak for yourself," Lance snapped. "I am not doing it!"
"Aw come on Lance, what have you got to lose?" Pietro sat down. "It's worth a try."
"No way!" Lance started to leave.
"It may help you think up a way to get together with Kitty," Todd remarked.
Lance stopped in his tracks. He stood there for a minute, then turned around and sat down on a mat. "You know one of these days that line isn't going to work anymore!"
"Okay the first thing we have to do is clear our minds of all thoughts," Fred told them, taking charge.
"Well that won't take long," Pietro snickered.
"Now breathe in and out," Fred stretched his arms. "In" He inhaled a deep breath slowly. "Out." He exhaled. "Relax. We are all at peace with the world and everyone in it."
"That's a little unrealistic don't you think Freddy?" Lance said.
"No, because in my world all the X-Geeks got run over by a bus," Fred said. "Now shut up and breathe. In and out."
The Brotherhood sat there. "I feel like a complete idiot," Lance said. "This new age junk is ridiculous."
"Just relax Lance," Pietro rolled his eyes.
"How can I relax with those stupid birds squawking!" Lance complained. "I keep thinking those things are over my head ready to do some target practice at any minute."
"Oh for crying out loud, Toad will you…." Pietro stopped when he heard gentle snoring sounds coming from Todd. "Well at least one of us is relaxed."
"Just breathe in and out and be quiet," Fred groaned.
"This is so stupid," Lance said. "We just sit here like a bunch of dorks?"
"No it isn't," Pietro hissed. "You are stupid."
"No you're stupid!" Lance shot back.
"You are!"
"No you are!"
"I SAID BREATHE IN AND OUT BE QUIET!" Fred shouted so loud that the house shook.
"What!" Todd woke up and literally leapt up onto the ceiling. "What happened? What? What?"
"Get off the ceiling Toad!" Lance groaned. Todd did. He dropped right on top of Lance.
"Will you get off me!" Lance shouted. He shoved him onto Pietro.
"Hey!" Pietro shoved him back. "Get him off of me!"
"Ow! Stop it!" Todd pushed them both.
"Quit it Toad!" Lance shouted. Soon all three of them were wrestling on the floor.
"Hey we're supposed to be calm and peaceful!" Fred snapped. "Knock it off or I'll wipe the walls with you!" He tackled the group. This ended up in all of them fighting each other.
Tabitha walked in the door. "What are you guys doing?" she asked.
Lance squirmed in the headlock Fred had him in. "We're meditating! Go away!"
Tabitha rolled her eyes as she watched the boys fight. "Ask a stupid question…"
