Chapter 17

Chapter 17

The sun hung heavy in the sky, but a chill had seeped into the air, nestling its fingers into the tresses of Sky's hair. Max and Sky had been walking for several blocks…Max just following idly along…about half a beat behind Sky. There was some purpose in each of Sky's steps…and Max couldn't help but notice how she kept speeding up, and impatiently tapped her fingers against her thigh as the two waited for traffic to clear.

"So…who are your kids?" Max broke the silence, silently shuddering at the pet-name Lydecker used to call them…`his kids'. She shook her head…that's all they were to him…pets, things, when all they wanted to be was….a person….they just didn't know what a person was at the time.

"I help run a shelter. It's really for anyone who needs help...we've just ended up with so many children that I think of it as an orphanage." Sky looked down. "You tend to associate your life with experiences you're familiar with."

Max nodded, her eyes studying Sky more carefully. For a moment she wanted to relate to Sky, to tell her she had never known her mother. But, something, some insecurity stopped her…Max just let Sky continue. "Mostly the children are effects of the pulse or gang wars. Some lost their parents, others were just abandoned...left to die." Sky shook her head in disgust. "Fear can make you do anything."

She stopped in front of a gray building…its rusted metal shudders and peeling gray bricks gave evidence to its poignant reason for existing. "This is it."

Sky stood still for a moment, she couldn't go in, she couldn't move. It had only been a little over a week since she left, but somehow she felt like she had betrayed the children who depended on her. Annie was taking care of them…but Annie had a family to go home to. Sky's bond with the children was deepened by their mutual solitude.

"What's the matter?" Max asked, her usual bravado apparent.

"What if they hate me?" Max looked at her funny "I just left …they've been abandoned once, what if they thought I deserted them? That I'm just like everybody else, that I really don't care."

"Sky…" Max looked her in the eye "I don't think they'd hate you." Sky looked at Max, stunned for a moment…then she nodded her head and started up the stairs.

Sky's fingers traced along the old rail, its foundations had been cemented long ago. The rod was rough from the patches of unsealed metal, but yet warmly familiar to the routine touch. The outside of the building was cold, gloomy, but once inside the warmth of heat and child-like presence enveloped you. Sky smiled; glad that through Logan's help the children could be kept warm. The walls were filled with paintings and murals created from skilled hands. The light bulb fixtures were looped with metal wires wrapped in beads. Drapes of beading cascaded from the corners of the room creating canopies along the ceilings.

"This is incredible."

"Thanks." Sky smiled "It used to be a law office…everything in here I did myself. "

"Sky?" A stout blond haired woman emerged, a smile stretched across her face.

"Annie." Sky laughed and wrapped her arms around her friend. "Has everything been going alright?" Her expression drifted to one of concern.

"Yes" Annie nodded, her pleasant face also growing more solemn. "They miss you."

Sky nodded, a wave of relief and guilt hit her.

The room was dark with only small tender rays of light piercing through the curtains. The child shook with terror. Her eyes wavered back and forth under the protection of closed lids. She clutched her blanket tighter, and held in her screams as she had once done when the dreams were her reality. It had been a normal day. The woman had left and come back with cloth bags full of food, tousled her hair as always…but within moments of the last touch, a look of horror crossed the woman's face. She pushed the reluctant child into a closet, pleading with the girl to stay quiet as she shut the door. Then the shadows came, flickers of light dancing between the slats of the door... and screams…loud piercing screams… finally the sickening sound of the woman slumping onto the floor…a thud that preceded silence. She wanted to scream, every night she wanted to scream, but the dryness in her throat silenced her cries as it had the night the woman had died. The night her first nightmare was borne, the night the woman…her mother…the first face she had ever known was taken away.

"Aria….Aria…" A gentle voice pierced through the fabric of the terrifying dream. The young girl awoke with a start and suddenly grasped the woman's waste. "Mommy."

Sky smiled and tousled the young girl's hair affectionately. "You're sleeping late today." She winked…Sky went over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of soft worn jeans and a sweatshirt…she tossed it to the girl who had a smile plastered across her face. "Get dressed and come downstairs." Sky closed the door and swallowed the tension in her throat. She didn't want a homecoming, just for everyone to act normal. So far she was two for two, and she felt at home again. It was as though nothing had changed…that the world encompassed within the shelter was constant.

"That's your daughter?" Max asked.

A funny look crossed Sky's face, after a pause her voice deepened " No. One night I found Aria wandering the streets, blood on her face and hands. She was completely disoriented. I don't know what happened that night, but whatever it was, it devastated her...killed a part of her." Sky glanced towards the closed door.

"The only word she ever says is `Mommy'. I don't know if she really thinks I'm her mother or not…but I don't have the heart to tell her she's wrong…whatever happened may have made her forget the experience. Some things are so traumatizing that you can't deal with them, so you push them away, and forget them. I don't want her to remember. Some memories can be worse than just not knowing."

Max nodded…a statement she understood. Sometimes she wished she could just forget Lydecker and Manticore, but they were always there...inside her. How can you escape something that you are? She was Manticore, her very being its core. A project is the vein of the institution. Without the created you have no creator.

"Sky." Annie walked into the room once more, pulling two children on each leg who had decided to hitch a ride. "I'm going out for a while on errands. It'll give you a chance to catch up." Then the blond woman stopped in front of Max a twinkle in her eye…. "Honey…who feeds you?" She poked her finger into Max's stomach…then before Max could utter a response Annie slipped a Twinkie into her hand "My husband can find these things anywhere…you have this one...plump up…men like curves." She winked and strolled out the door.

Sky shrugged as Max looked at her oddly. "I really appreciate you coming here with me. It gives me a chance to get out of Logan's supervision. Look I'm just gonna stay here with the kids for a little while. Annie should be back in a few hours…and Logan's probably got dinner almost ready. Why don't you go on over and tell him I'll be a little late. I'd appreciate the chance just to be here…alone."

Max had a bad feeling about the suggestion. "I understand that, but after all that's been happening… " Sky began to reciprocate, but Max anticipated the interruption and quickly added `The Reds are dangerous…they almost killed you and if it weren't for Logan…me as well." At that she noticed movement out of the corner of her eye. The girl, Aria, had heard everything she just said. Sky followed Max's gaze and a lump caught in her throat.

"Mommy?"

"Aria," Sky walked over to the girl and wrapped her arms around the child. As she did she noticed the girls tiny frame, she could almost feel the child's bones through the girl's shirt. Aria had always been small. She didn't find pleasure in eating, a fact that had kept Sky in constant worry.

"It's alright. There's nothing to worry about. Max and I were just talking. Now," Sky looked the girl in the eyes, her tone a little too cheery, "Why don't you go on in the kitchen with the others and get something to eat. Annie has dinner all ready."

The girl nodded and Sky reluctantly let go of her hand and watched as she disappeared into the room ahead of them.

"I'm sorry." Max stated.

"It's alright. It's not your fault." Sky rubbed her hand on her forehead. "Let's just not mention anything about my situation in here again. That's the last thing they need to know." Max nodded, giving into the awkward silence formed between the two.

"Look there's a couple of things I gotta do myself. I'll leave you alone for a few hours, but I'll be back, and we'll go to Logan's together."

"Thanks." Sky smiled "and Max…don't think you're not welcome because you said something at the wrong time…you don't have to worry about that with me…or Logan." Max looked at her oddly trying to understand Sky's insight "You just seem the type to run away when you really don't want to." Sky's comment caught Max off guard. She was trying to figure her out, and Max didn't like someone digging into her emotions. Opening up to Logan was hard enough, but with Sky…she just didn't know. Max mustered a smile and left.

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