This is How You Remind Me~~~~ chapter 2

A/N: I thought it was time to start on the second half. I was on the set of Queer as Folk on December 5th, 2001. I met Randy Harrison *justin*, Gale Harold *brian*, Peter Paige *emmett*, Scott Lowell *ted*, Michelle Clunie *melanie*, Thea Gill *lindsay*, Sharon Gless *debbie*, Jack Weatherall *Vic*, and Hal Sparks *Michael*. The entire cast were complete dolls, and i have polaroids of myself and Michelle Clunie and Thea Gill which i will posting on a site dedicated to Queer as Folk.
We were filming a very special upcoming occasion in season two!!! IT WAS GREAT! Randy Harrison and I kept sneaking out to the food truck whenever it was time to change camera angles and making coffees. He makes a killer caffeine quickie!! i hope that they come back to oshawa soon again! We love you guys! Oh, Gale Harold makes a disgusting protein shake. *shudder* i had to make him like 3. but it was worth it coz he is god's gift to the world. I will have recipies on my site for many of the drinks and such that I had to make all day. I LOVE GALE HAROLD AND PETER PAIGE AND RANDY HARRISON AND SCOTT LOWELL AND THEA GILL AND MICHELLE CLUNIE AND SHARON GLESS AND HAL SPARKS!! Gale Harold is my dreamboat! Let me tell you guys and girls, he is just as good looking in person! lol, i swear he is.

Update from last chapter:::
Justin has come out of his coma, it has been a year and he is now in university as an art major. Brian still believes that he is somehow to blame for Justin's accident, and now feels remorse for the boy. He loves him, but will not admit it to anyone, including himself. Justin still loves Brian, but he will not be with him until he learns to accept what happened and that he still loves him. Brian has asked Justin to come to Babylon, and now he's trying to make the decision.

Chapter Two - Everywhere.

~~~~Turn it out so I can see. The part of you that's drifting over me. When I wake you're, you're never there. And when I sleep you're, you're everywhere. You're everywhere.~~~~

Justin was cleaning up at two in the morning, wondering what to do. Brian's words drifted through his mind, and he smiled at the memory of how for once, the infamous self-confident Brian Kinney, was unsure of himself.

Pulling down some coffee cups, he refilled the dishwasher and turned it on, turning up the radio and dancing around to the slow sultry beat of a song known as "Rock The Boat". He took no notice as someone walked in and sat down.

"Hello, can I help youuu?" Justin sang out as he walked around and stopped. "Michael! What are you doing here?"

A small smile came across Michael's face as he saw the genuine suprise on Justin's face. 'Probably was expecting Brian,' Mikey thought to himself as he picked up a cloth and helped Justin wash off the counters. "Well, I was in the area, and decided to stop in. Oh and also to mention that tomorrow night at Brian's loft, we're having a party. You are welcome to come."

Justin rinsed off the rag and threw it in the wash pile, and pulled off his apron. He pulled out a bag that he had Daphne drop off while he was on break, containing clothes that he could wear to Babylon. He was still playing with the idea of going, going over the possibilities in his mind. He sat down at a table with Mikey and put the bag on the table.

"Here is a bag. It has clothes in it for Babylon. Brian asked if I was going. Should I go Michael? I don't want to go there and see something that will make things worse." Justin's light blue eyes looked into Michael's dark brown ones, searching for an answer that couldn't be had.

"Justin, do what you want. I really can't help you. But Brian loves you. We all have seen that within the past year. He just doesn't seem to be able to let his guard down to be able to let it all out. He is convinced that he has to be this macho, unfeeling guy that doesn't care about anyone but himself. But I know that that's all an act. He cares about you."

Michael sat and looked at Justin, for once, feeling relaxed and calm around him. Justin was a pretty good guy, and the fact that he never strayed from Brian made him have respect for him. Justin was still an innocent guy, unsure of himself, trying to be a proud person, like Emmett. Michael knew that Justin looked up to Emmett almost as much as Brian. Emmett was a diva, a queen in the eyes of every gay male in Philidelphia. He was loud and proud, which Justin wished he could be.

Exasperated, Justin pulled out some clothes and ran into the bathroom. Michael sat and his cellphone rang.

"Hello?" His voice sounded strong as always as he watched Justin come out of the bathroom and throw his other clothes into the bag.

"Mikey. Where are you? You're supposed to be here with me at Babylon." Brian's plaintive voice was heard loud and clear to Justin as he zipped up his bag and looked over at Michael in anticipation and sat down.

"Uhm, hey Brian. I'm on my way. I just stopped into the diner to see if Justin needed help. But he didn't so we're on our way." Mikey looked over at Justin, his brows knitted into his normal "thinking" face. Justin smiled and pulled out his keys and stood up.

"Justin's coming? Alright. I'll see you later." Brian hung up and looked out onto the dance floor, remembering the first time he saw Justin at Babylon.

It was when he still found Justin as an extremely hot, but annoying fuck that wouldn't go away. He was dancing with three other guys, when the light-haired angel walked onto the floor, wearing a pair of jeans and no shirt. He danced near them, unsurely at first, then he began to move more and more. The three men that had once been dancing with Brian, moved over to Justin and began to dance on him. Brian understood what Justin was doing and smiled, as he pushed the other two men away and wrapped his arms around him. That night, it all began. The nights that were filled with nights of Justin and non-stop love. Justin tried for so long to get Brian to love him. And he was unsure himself when the change began, but he began to crave his company. The night at the King of Babylon contest was a night where Brian realized how manipulative Justin could be. Justin was the only other guy who play his game, and actually succeed. He remembered that after Justin won the title as King of Babylon, he stole away the guy that Brian had been eyeing all night and fucked him in the backroom. The next day at the diner, Brian had asked where the guy was, and what Justin had said. With a smile that no one else would understand except the two of them, Justin answered "I told him he'd see me in his dreams."

~~~Just tell me how I got this far. Tell why you're here and who you are. Coz everytime I look, you're never there. And everytime I sleep, you're always there~~~

Justin followed Mikey in his car, his palms sweaty, his breath quick and nervous. 'Am I doing the right thing?' he wondered to himself as he parked in the familiar area.

Mikey and Justin walked across the street as many other men looked at the two good looking people walking. The large, burly security smiled at Justin and Mikey, stamping their hands and letting them walk in. The large blast of techno music was like a dinner bell for a hungry pack of dogs. The music was blasting, the bodies were pumping, and Justin had never felt so alive. His walked over to the bar and ordered a drink, looking at himself in his tight black t-shirt and black pleather pants. As he sipped, he looked around, seeing many familiar faces. One of which was staring straight at him. Brian.

Walking over, Brian could only see Justin. He had come, so did that mean that he still cared about him, even after what happened? Brian knew that Justin still cared, but it was so hard to push the horrific sight out of his mind. His Justin, lying in a pool of blood, unconscious and slowly dying. Brian had never felt so scared in his life. But it had all worked out. Justin recovered fully, that homophobic asshole was sent to jail, and Brian was still there.

Justin felt his breath quicken as Brian came over, and stood next to him. He looked up into the familiar brown-green eyes that he loved, and felt himself soften. He loved him.

Brian looked into Justin's loving eyes, as the familiar feeling swept over him. He stroked Justin's cheek and just looked at him, love and warmth radiating from the younger man's eyes.

"Wanna go for a walk?" Brian asked, as Justin's eyes began to water. The two walked out of Babylon, and into Brian's truck, not saying a word. They drove in silence, the sound of one's breath comforting the other. In Brian's loft they went, and Brian sat down at the bar as Justin stood.

"Justin, come here. Let me look at you in the light." Brian asked as Justin walked into the bar area, where candles were lit all over the loft.

"Brian....." Justin's voice said hoarsely as he walked over, his eyes misting over. He tried to look away and Brian came to him. As he always did.

The familiar strong arms wrapped around his arms, and he sobbed. Cried like he had never cried before. All of the pain, the hurt and the waiting, and with fervor, he kissed Brian.

Never before had his lips felt so sweet, mixed with his salty tears. Brian held him tightly.

Justin pulled away, his eyes searching Brian's. "Brian..." was all he needed to say. Brian smiled, then turned serious as he pulled him into the bedroom. "Justin Taylor, I have never felt this way about anyone. I never thought I could feel this way about anyone. But you have shown me something I have never experienced. Love. And for that, I love you." Brian couldn't believe what he had just heard himself say, and he looked down at Justin in his own disbelief. But the look on Justin's face was all worth it. He looked like a little boy at Christmas time.

"Brian, I have waited almost two years for those words to come out of your mouth. Ever since the first day I met you, I loved you. You.....you're everything to me. I feel incomplete whenever you're not around. You make me whole." Justin felt breathless, as he looked into Brian's intense eyes.

~~~Coz you're everywhere to me, and when I close my eyes it's you I see. You're everything I know that makes me believe, I'm not alone. I'm not alone.~~~

Brian stood over in his room, and Justin looked at him in curiosity as he went over to his stereo and turned on a song. It was the song that he and Brian danced to at prom. Brian pulled Justin against him and began to dance throughout the loft, just like that night they had danced, not caring about what anyone else thought. The only saw what their hearts held before them. Love for one another so pure, it couldn't be wrong.

"Brian, do you understand that night?" Justin's voice quietly cut into the quiet of the dance.

Brian pulled away and looked at Justin, then turned down the music. "Justin, this is how I see it. We danced that night. We cajoled our screaming homosexuality in front of your uptight ass school. Then because of me, you were injured by a homophobic asshole."

Justin shook his head and pulled further away. "Brian. That's not it. Chris was always bitter to me. That night was just a coincidence. It was bound to happen, he probably would have done it whether you were there or not. Why can't you let it go?"

Brian sighed and looked at him, his guard beginning to rise. It was taking a lot not to just snap on him and tell him to get out and pretend the night had never happened. But this was Justin, and he loved this boy. Not a boy, a man. He couldn't do that, but he couldn't stop blaming himself.

Justin picked up his coat and sighed, not wanting to do this, but all the same, knowing it was best. He couldn't handle it anymore. He stepped up to the door as Brian watched his moves like a hawk. He wasn't going to beg anymore.

"Brian, I can't do this anymore. I have tried time and again to make you understand and you don't. If you can see this, then maybe things are better off with us apart. I'm not going to come back here."

Justin tried to keep his voice steady, even though tears dripped down his face. Brian simply stared, then shrugged and walked away, turning before Justin could see him cry.

Justin walked back to Babylon and got into his car. Instead of driving home to Daphne's house, he drove around the city, trying to release his frustration. His cellphone was ringing and he turned it off, not wanting to talk to anyone. Around 7:00 a.m., he drove to Lindsay and Melanie's house, knocking on the door.

Lindsay answered the door and gasped. "Justin! What's wrong? Come in!" Justin walked in and sat down on the couch, still trying to piece his mind together.

Melanie came into the room in her pyjamas, yawning loudly. "Who the fuck was...oh, hi Justin. Jesus Christ you look like shit. Want a coffee?"

Justin nodded and Lindsay sat down next to him, looking at his bloodshot eyes, guessing he hadn't slept all night, and knowing the reason, sighed. It was always Brian. He never knew how to treat Justin.

"Here Sunshine. Drink up. Then, tell us what brings you here at seven in the morning." Melanie smiled and sat down next to Lindsay on the couch, wrapping her arms around the other's waist. Justin drank the coffee, then sighed and put down the mug.

"Brian and I are finished. I ended it....earlier I guess. We're done and through. He can't accept that the accident wasn't his fault, and I can't deal with him feeling guilty around me all the time. And just earlier, he finally told me....that.. he..." Justin's voice broke on the last words and he began to cry.

Lindsay and Melanie looked at one another, and Melanie sighed, unwrapping her arms from Lindsay's waist and moving them to around Justin. Lindsay wiped his face and kissed his forehead.

"He said he loved you sweety?" Lindsay asked sympathetically, stroking his hair lightly.

Justin sniffled and nodded, then took a deep breath. "But, I ended it. I should have a long time ago. Listen, tonight there's a party at Brian's loft for his 31'st birthday. You guys should go. I think I'll go back to the school and do something. I just can't stay here right now." Lindsay nodded and Melanie stood up, then went upstairs, anger filling her.

Justin left their house around 8:00 am and got back to Daphne's, collapsing next to her on the couch that was pulled out in the livingroom. Around 4:00 that afternoon, he finally awoke, staring groggily around him. There was a note next to him from Daphne telling him that she was gone out shopping and she'd be home later on that night. Her cellphone was on and he could call her if he needed her.

He went into his room and began packing his things, not wanting to think of that night. It was like a fresh wound, still festering and bleeding. He came across the scarf, and threw it on the floor, then sat on the bed.

"Brian....why?" He silently asked himself as tears rolled off his face.

He remembered when Brian was going to take the job in New York, and it was the first time the he had outwardly told Brian that he loved him. It was scary, but he knew that Brian wouldn't turn him away. They had been around one another too long. Instead, Brian held him tightly and let Justin cry on him.

And that's what he had done the night before. He had comforted Justin when he had needed him. And nothing had felt sweeter than Brian's embrace. What was he doing? He still loved Brian, whether Brian knew it or not.

It was then that it hit him. Brian would never get over the accident without Justin's help and love. He had been doing this all wrong. Brian only blamed himself more and more everytime they pushed each other away. Brian pushing him away because he couldn't admit he was in love, and Justin because Brian wouldn't get over the accident. He was doing it all wrong. It was his fault. Now he needed Brian back. But would Brian take him back after last night?

~fin

A/N: BWAHAHAHAHA what will happen? Will he go to Brian? Will he go back to the University? WHAT WILL HAPPEN?!?!?! PLEASE R/R!!!