*** Hey all!!! Okay, this story is going to be a little different from my normal stuff. I'v actually wanted to do something like this for awhile. Okay, the idea is that this fic will follow the tracks of a CD...which means every chapter will be a song-fic. The CD (which I do not own the rights to, nor did I sing or write any of it) is "Who I Am" by Jessica Andrews. The first chapter is called "Now I Know". The fic is going to have lots of story-lines to let you know. And one last note- I don't own the WWF (damn) nor do I know anyone who is contained in this fic (double damn!). Enjoy (and then review!) ***

// Boy I tried to write a letter
I just need to make things better
I'm praying that you'll let me work this out //

Lita sat in an uncomfortable airport chair. She looked at the blank page in front of her. She knew she had to write this letter. She had to admit how wrong she had been. She wasn't too good at admitting when she was wrong. Usually she just pretended that nothing had happened. She was pretty sure she couldn't do that this time.

She looked around at the other people waiting for the plane. There were some other superstars there. She smiled at Kurt Angle. He had been a good friend to her over the past month. She didn't have too many friends anymore. Which was another reason she needed to write the letter. She needed to get her life back and the only way to do that was to apologize.

She just wasn't sure how to start the letter.

// I tried to call you on your phone
And it seems you're not at home
This is something that we have to talk about //

"Matt," Lita said into the receiver of her phone later that night. "I know I'm calling your room. I checked with the front desk three times. I was just making sure you hadn't come back. I just wanted to make sure you got my message. I called about an hour ago. And I called yesterday."

Lita sat on the bed trying to decide if she wanted to say anything else. "Please call me back. It's important."

She hung up the phone and stared at it. Willing it to ring.

She had tried to call Matt over and over. He must have changed the number on his cell phone. She had left hundreds of messages on his answering machine. He hadn't returned a single one. She had even tried to call Jeff's cell phone. The next time she tried, she found out his number had been disconnected.

Once she tried to get into the Team Xtreme dressing room. Jeff had brusquely informed her that her presence was not desired. She hadn't even had a chance to catch a glimpse of Matt. She left the dressing room with tears in her eyes.

If Matt saw her in the hallway at an event he would quickly change directions and stay as far away as possible. She didn't know she had hurt him so badly. She felt horrible every time she thought about it. She wished he would make it a little easier on her. She knew she made a mistake. Now she wanted to make it up to him.

// Here I am finally face to face
Here's what I'm trying to say //

Lita was sitting in the women's locker room at an event later that night. She had just finished wrapping the ankle she had rolled the previous week when she had been fighting Ivory yet again. The injury wasn't that bad, it was just frustrating. Vince refused to let her wrestle when she was injured in the slightest. He wasn't going to risk a serious injury from one of his most popular divas.

There was a knock on the door. Jackie peeked around the door and talked in hushed tones with whoever was at the door. She turned towards Lita.

"You have a visitor Lita," she said.

Lita pushed herself off of her stool and walked to the door.

// What was I thinking baby?
Should've seen the writing on the wall //

"Matt!" Lita exclaimed. She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him into an embrace. She couldn't help but notice that he didn't respond at all.

"That's enough," he said coldly.

Lita pulled away as if she had been burned. "I'm sorry."

"I just thought we'd get this over with," Matt said. "Because I doubt you'll stop calling me until you talk to me. I've got about fifteen minutes."

"I just want to apologize," Lita said. "I was so wrong. I never should have left."

// Never thought you'd ever leave me
Now I know //

"What makes you feel this way all of a sudden?" Matt asked.

"I've been all alone for two months now," Lita said. "I never realized how big a part of my life you were Matt. You were one of the most important parts."

"And you didn't know this before you walked out on me?" Matt asked.

"But I didn't walk out on you," Lita said. "I left Team Xtreme. You're the one who broke up with me."

"You had a choice," Matt said. "You could have been with us or without us. You thought other things were more important than your friends at the time as I recall."

"Your ultimatum wasn't fair!" Lita exclaimed.

// What were you trying to tell me?
I thought about everything you said //

"And you saying you could be bigger on your own was?" Matt asked incredulously. "We were a team. Before there was a Matt and Lita, there was a Team Xtreme."

"So?" Lita asked.

"There wouldn't have been a Matt and Lita if there hadn't been a Team Xtreme," Matt said. "I thought you, Jeff, and I had built something that would last. But apparently you didn't."

"I thought you and Jeff would be fine without me," Lita said.

"And we are," Matt said. "You've apologized. Is there anything else you wanted to say?"

// Ever since you walked away boy
Now I know //

"I want to make it up to you," Lita said. "I want to show you that you are important to me."

"And how do you intend to do that?" Matt asked.

"I want to come back," Lita said. "I want to be a part of the team again."

"In case you haven't noticed," Matt said. "Jeff and I have another valet. Trish has been doing her job pretty well. I don't think there's really any room for you anymore."

"Matt, please?" Lita pleaded.

Matt looked at her and his brown eyes momentarily softened. They hardened quickly. "I don't think so Lita. We can't trust you anymore. That's not something you can regain by just asking."

// There's no other way to say it
Baby please let's not delay it
Boy I know you feel the same it's in your eyes //

"Don't you miss how it used to be?" Lita asked desperately.

"Of course I do," Matt said. "But I was a different person then. You were a different person."

"I'm the same!" Lita exclaimed.

"The Lita I knew never would have cared about how popular she could be," Matt said. "The Lita I knew was all about the team. Don't tell me you're the same."

"How many times can I say I'm sorry for leaving?" Lita asked.

Matt hated to see the tears in her eyes, but he couldn't give in. He wouldn't risk his heart with her again. "It doesn't change anything Lita. I don't think I can look at you like I used to. It wouldn't be fair to either of us. Or to Jeff or Trish."

// Since you've gone my heart's been missing
I hope that you will listen
Boy without you I won't make it one more night //

"So you don't want me anymore?" Lita asked, tears flowing down her cheeks.

"What did you think was going to happen when you turned your back on me?" Matt asked.

"I didn't think you'd ever leave,' Lita said. "I thought you'd be the one constant in my life."

"You really are full of yourself," Matt said. "Can you stop calling my house please? I don't have enough time to listen to five messages a day."

"Matt, I love you," Lita said.

"Too little, too late," Matt said.

"How can love be too little?" Lita asked.

"Because it's too late," Matt said. "I've got to go."

// Take me back I was such a fool
I'm dying without you //

Lita looked at the bottle of beer in front of her. Was it number six or seven? She didn't care. She didn't exactly intend to drive back to the hotel. She just wanted to drown her sorrows. She had never really gotten drunk to try and forget something. As far as she was concerned, it wasn't working.

She laid her head down on the bar. "I'm such an idiot."

She laid a fifty dollar bill on the bar and left. She walked in the cool night air and breathed deeply. She kept replaying her entire encounter with Matt in her head. She couldn't believe that he could ever fall out of love with her. It wasn't that she was egotistical. It was that Matt was perfect. At least for her.

She was feeling pretty dizzy by the time she finally got to the hotel. She was waiting for the elevator when she heard someone call her name.

// What was I thinking baby?
Should've seen the writing on the wall
Never thought you'd ever leave me
Now I know //

"What are you up to?" Kurt Angle asked as he came up to her.

"I just went and got stinking drunk," Lita explained to Kurt. "What about you?"

"I was eating dinner with Edge and Jericho," Kurt said. "They went to a club. I have an interview in the morning so I need to get some rest."

"That's nice," Lita said. "Are you on the fifth floor?"

Kurt nodded. "Why were you getting drunk?"

"Because I broke Matt's heart it would seem," Lita said.

"That makes sense," Kurt said sarcastically.

// What were you trying to tell me?
I thought about everything you said
Ever since you walked away boy
Now I know //

"Well, he won't take me back because I hurt him so bad," Lita explained. "I was trying to forget that he didn't want me back."

"Did it work?" Kurt asked.

"Nope," Lita said. "Maybe my hangover will. Maybe my head will hurt so bad that it will be the only thing I'll be able to think about."

"Are you okay Lita?" Kurt asked, his face filled with concern.

"I'll be fine Kurt," Lita said. "I won't hurt myself more than I already have."

"I can stay with you to make sure you're okay," Kurt offered.

"You're a good guy Kurt," Lita said. "You need to rest for your interview."

// I can't live my life without you
Everything you say wasn't true //

Trust could be regained. Lita was wrong when she said that she could be bigger and better without the Hardy Boyz. She was no one on her own. She still had fans and everything. But she had no one to celebrate with. Before all of her friends had been Matt and Jeff's friends. She was left kind of alone.

"Red?" someone called through the door.

"What?" Lita asked miserably as she walked to her door. She opened it to see Chris Jericho. "Why are you here? I thought you were friends with Matt."

"Whatever," Jericho said. "I was knocking for like five minutes."

"I thought it was my head pounding," Lita said.

"Ouch," Jericho said. "I had like ten messages when I got in from Kurt saying he was worried about you."

// I should've known it from the start
Now you own my heart //

"I screwed up Jericho," Lita said, as she let him pull her into a hug. "I thought I could go out there on my own. I thought I could live without Matt Hardy."

"Who says you can't?" Jericho asked.

"My heart," Lita said through her tears.

"I know it hurts sweetheart," Jericho said. "But life tends to suck."

"Thanks for the pep talk," Lita said sarcastically.

// What was I thinking baby?
Should've seen the writing on the wall
Never thought you'd ever leave me
Now I know //

"It'll get better," Jericho promised.

"When?" Lita asked.

"Eventually," Jericho said. "Until then you can do what I do when I feel like shit."

"What's that?" Lita asked.

"Make fun of the Princess," Jericho grinned.

"You are sick," Lita said.

// What were you trying to tell me?
I thought about everything you said
Ever since you walked away boy
Now I know //

Lita watched Matt as he wrestled. He had improved in the past two months. Knowing him, he had thrown himself into his work. He did that when he was upset. And he had a lot more time on his hands now that she was out of his hair.

"I could get you back," Lita whispered to his image on the screen in front of her. "But I think you'd hate me in the end."