See Me (2/3: Max)
Angelus
See first chapter for disclaimer, etc.
Author's notes: I decided to limit this to just three parts, and make it a love-triangle sorta thing, with the next chapter being Zack, then I'm done. Oh, and for the record: I never really intended to finish this, but it's amazing what you can accomplish with too much free time and an obsession with laptop keyboards.
~*~
Sometimes, I wonder how he sees me. Am I a real woman to him, or am I just a Manticore-created, genetically engineered freak?
When we first met, it was all about the hormones. For both of us. I'd never seen such a good-looking guy. Unfortunately, he appeared to be just like any other spoiled little rich kid - a total brat with no regard for anyone but himself. I'm sure that back then, before the accident, he could've had a different girl every night. I myself would have been in danger of becoming one of those women, had it not been for Bruno's gun interrupting the slow building of a relationship that we had begun.
But in the end, the shooting didn't end our friendship - it begun it. If it hadn't been for Logan ending up in the wheelchair, we might have a completely different relationship than the one we do right now, but that wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing.
Okay, yes it would. Sort of. I won't deny that I'd give just about anything to become involved with Logan in a romantic relationship. But back then, it probably would've turned into a one-night stand. I might not have ever seen him again. But instead, guilt drove me to visit him time after time, until finally, he was under my skin.
That scared me. I had felt this way about anybody before. I started looking forward to getting off of work not so that I could hang with the gang at Crash, but so I could see Logan. That's when I really started to worry. I mean, he couldn't possibly feel anything for me, right? I was just a convenient pair of legs. I convinced myself that I had humiliated myself outside of the cabin, and that Logan and Bling had a good laugh at the clingy, needy teenager I was every time I was out of the room.
So I distanced myself from him. What else was I supposed to do? But there he was, always paging me and wanting to see me. And not only for work. Sometimes, he'd just call and ask me to come have dinner with him. I couldn't say no. For the past couple of weeks, we've just been reestablishing things - boundaries, duties, loyalties, etc. And I'm trying to be cool with being Logan's friend and only his friend.
But now I'm right back where I started. I'm still wanting more that I should, and I still have absolutely no clue whether he feels the same. I guess I should take things like the fact that he kissed me back into consideration. And when he stood for the first time, I was positive that he was going to kiss me before his legs gave out.
But I could be imagining all of this, too. I guess I just really don't want to get my hopes up to high. I'm bad with relationships. Leo, Darren, Eric... None of them were able to connect with me like Logan, and it was all my fault. This is something that I can't afford to screw up.
Like it or not, I have fallen in love with Logan Cale.
And now, all I can do is wait and hope that he feels the same.
Here's to tomorrow. May it hold the answers I need.
~*~
FIN. .
Angelus
See first chapter for disclaimer, etc.
Author's notes: I decided to limit this to just three parts, and make it a love-triangle sorta thing, with the next chapter being Zack, then I'm done. Oh, and for the record: I never really intended to finish this, but it's amazing what you can accomplish with too much free time and an obsession with laptop keyboards.
~*~
Sometimes, I wonder how he sees me. Am I a real woman to him, or am I just a Manticore-created, genetically engineered freak?
When we first met, it was all about the hormones. For both of us. I'd never seen such a good-looking guy. Unfortunately, he appeared to be just like any other spoiled little rich kid - a total brat with no regard for anyone but himself. I'm sure that back then, before the accident, he could've had a different girl every night. I myself would have been in danger of becoming one of those women, had it not been for Bruno's gun interrupting the slow building of a relationship that we had begun.
But in the end, the shooting didn't end our friendship - it begun it. If it hadn't been for Logan ending up in the wheelchair, we might have a completely different relationship than the one we do right now, but that wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing.
Okay, yes it would. Sort of. I won't deny that I'd give just about anything to become involved with Logan in a romantic relationship. But back then, it probably would've turned into a one-night stand. I might not have ever seen him again. But instead, guilt drove me to visit him time after time, until finally, he was under my skin.
That scared me. I had felt this way about anybody before. I started looking forward to getting off of work not so that I could hang with the gang at Crash, but so I could see Logan. That's when I really started to worry. I mean, he couldn't possibly feel anything for me, right? I was just a convenient pair of legs. I convinced myself that I had humiliated myself outside of the cabin, and that Logan and Bling had a good laugh at the clingy, needy teenager I was every time I was out of the room.
So I distanced myself from him. What else was I supposed to do? But there he was, always paging me and wanting to see me. And not only for work. Sometimes, he'd just call and ask me to come have dinner with him. I couldn't say no. For the past couple of weeks, we've just been reestablishing things - boundaries, duties, loyalties, etc. And I'm trying to be cool with being Logan's friend and only his friend.
But now I'm right back where I started. I'm still wanting more that I should, and I still have absolutely no clue whether he feels the same. I guess I should take things like the fact that he kissed me back into consideration. And when he stood for the first time, I was positive that he was going to kiss me before his legs gave out.
But I could be imagining all of this, too. I guess I just really don't want to get my hopes up to high. I'm bad with relationships. Leo, Darren, Eric... None of them were able to connect with me like Logan, and it was all my fault. This is something that I can't afford to screw up.
Like it or not, I have fallen in love with Logan Cale.
And now, all I can do is wait and hope that he feels the same.
Here's to tomorrow. May it hold the answers I need.
~*~
FIN. .
