"It's Christmas again," Newkirk said glumly. They all turned to Colonel Hogan's closed door. Ever since the Colonel had been captured, every Christmas he spent in his office, never leaving. Once, when Kinch had asked him to spend Christmas with them, he simply glared in response, and shrunk back.
Carter flinched, remembering why the Colonel was so distant at Christmas. His brother, John, had died near Christmas. Nothing could change that. No matter how much his men showed their support for him, Colonel Hogan still withdrew. After that first Christmas, they simply gave up trying. Maybe this year, Carter thought optimistically, will be different. He's been different since he met Katrina.
He loved Katrina like he would a daughter. Maybe this year, he could realize that he has something to be thankful for... She's lost a whole family, Carter thought dismally. He's lost a brother. Maybe that's why they get along so well... they've both lost something they love. He shook his head. He would see.
*********
Colonel Hogan sat in his barracks, staring at a picture of his brother. A small tear slid down his cheek, and he angrily wiped it away. In a sudden flood of pain and memory, he thought of how it felt when he got the news John was gone. He isn't just leaving home, now, Hogan thought, he's really gone. And on Christmas. He threw the picture away angrily, curling up and trying hard not to think about it, but rather just keep his mind blank, like he had every Christmas before. It hurt less that way.
***********
Unnoticed, Katrina slipped silently into Colonel Hogan's barracks, blissfully clueless of the racous party outside.
***********
Hogan started when he heard the door creak open. His men usually left him alone, he thought curiously. He sat up, peering into the darkness. There, Katrina stood, barely tall enough to reach the doorknob. He thought of telling her to go away, but she padded over quietly and sat on his lap. She looked up at his face, which, unbeknownst to him, was streaked with tears. She leaned towards him, and whispered,
"I miss Mommy, too." Colonel Hogan looked at her, surprised, but she just gave him a peaceful look. Hogan looked away briefly. She had lost her whole family. Her own mother, for God's sake. And he was being selfish, mourning a lost brother for over three years. She climbed off his lap, and walked out of the room. Hogan sat there for a minute, before getting up and opening the door.
LeBeau noticed Colonel Hogan first, and hurriedly amended,
"Sorry, mon colonel! We'll be quieter!" The others quickly nodded agreement, but Hogan shook his head.
"It's ok... I was just wondering... can I join?" Hogan said. His men glanced at each other, surprised, before smiling broadly. Newkirk sidled up to the colonel, and gave him a drink.
"Welcome back, sir."
"Hey," Hogan started, feeling rather silly. "Do you know where Katrina went? I need to thank her for something." The others looked at him closely. Finally, Carter spoke up.
"Who, sir?" Carter asked. Somewhere in the festivities, a bell rang, and an old saying his mother had told him came to mind. Everytime a bell rings, an angel gets her wings. Hogan smiled.
"Nobody, Carter, nobody." He looked up at Heaven, offering a silent prayer, and a thank you.