Chapter 2: The Realization
"I think I know what you're saying, Anthy..." Utena gazed back, looking deep into her eyes
"You-- you do?" Startled, Anthy looked like she was about ready to jump out of her skin.
"Hai." Utena nodded, and ran her fingers over Anthy's hand.
Anthy shivered, feeling the surge of energy between her and the other girl. In an unchararacteristic outburst, she blurted, "Utena-sama, I think I'm in love." Suddenly realizing her statement, she looked away, her face in her hands.
"May I ask with whom?" Utena asked quietly. Perhaps she had crossed a boundary she shouldn't have crossed by touching Anthy's hand.
*Should I say it?* Anthy wondered silently. *Can I trust her not to break me? Will she respond in a way that won't break my heart, or perhaps even favourably?*
"Ummm... promise not to think worse of me?" she asked shyly.
Utena nodded, closing her eyes. *It has to be Miki. Or maybe Touga.*
Anthy reached out a hand to cover Utena's, looking deep into her eyes. *I have to be strong...*
"Utena-sama.... the one I love.... is you." Dreading the reaction, she almost instinctively recoiled, but tried her best not to, instead just showing a slight flinch, as if she was frightened of a blow for her words.
"Nani?" Utena blinked. This had to be a dream. "Honto?"
Anthy nodded. "Hai.. I've felt it for a while now... I'm sorry... I'll never speak of it again..." *Now I've done it. She thinks I'm crazy, or stupid, or something else entirely....*
"Anthy...I..." Utena moved closer to her, and was almost leaning over the smaller girl.
She looked up, intensely aware of the closeness between them. "Hai, Utena- sama?"
"I love you too," she said, tracing Anthy's cheekbone with her thumb.
Shocked, Anthy didn't know how to react. "But... I thought... I mean... you wouldn't... you didn't...." Her words trailed off, leaving her in silence for a moment. Then, in a whisper: "Really? How long have you felt this way?"
"Ever since we met, I think..."
"Me too.... Ever since the moment I saw you, I found you fascinating... a girl who would dare wear the boy's uniform, who was willing to fight..." She looked up at the pink-haired girl adoringly. "I could never be as strong as you, either physically or emotionally."
"That's not true. Look at what you've had to endure!"
"But that is my destiny and has always been. I live as I have always known I would have to. That's not strength; it's survival."
"But you're still alive. And that counts for something." Utena moved a bit closer.
Anthy shrugged, conscious of the closeness between the two girls. "I suppose. But you... I could never be like you." Unconsciously, she tilted her face upwards, almost as if she expected a kiss. "Utena-sama... why me? You could have anyone..." *but I'm glad you chose me* "...what do you wish of me?" *I'd do anything if it only meant you'd be happy.*
"I just want you to be happy, Anthy," Utena said, kissing her gently.
Responding to the kiss, Anthy felt as she never had before. She felt like she would never have to worry about anything ever again, if only she could keep Utena by her side for eternity.
Utena wrapped her arms protectively around Anthy, gently kissing her again.
"I think I know what you're saying, Anthy..." Utena gazed back, looking deep into her eyes
"You-- you do?" Startled, Anthy looked like she was about ready to jump out of her skin.
"Hai." Utena nodded, and ran her fingers over Anthy's hand.
Anthy shivered, feeling the surge of energy between her and the other girl. In an unchararacteristic outburst, she blurted, "Utena-sama, I think I'm in love." Suddenly realizing her statement, she looked away, her face in her hands.
"May I ask with whom?" Utena asked quietly. Perhaps she had crossed a boundary she shouldn't have crossed by touching Anthy's hand.
*Should I say it?* Anthy wondered silently. *Can I trust her not to break me? Will she respond in a way that won't break my heart, or perhaps even favourably?*
"Ummm... promise not to think worse of me?" she asked shyly.
Utena nodded, closing her eyes. *It has to be Miki. Or maybe Touga.*
Anthy reached out a hand to cover Utena's, looking deep into her eyes. *I have to be strong...*
"Utena-sama.... the one I love.... is you." Dreading the reaction, she almost instinctively recoiled, but tried her best not to, instead just showing a slight flinch, as if she was frightened of a blow for her words.
"Nani?" Utena blinked. This had to be a dream. "Honto?"
Anthy nodded. "Hai.. I've felt it for a while now... I'm sorry... I'll never speak of it again..." *Now I've done it. She thinks I'm crazy, or stupid, or something else entirely....*
"Anthy...I..." Utena moved closer to her, and was almost leaning over the smaller girl.
She looked up, intensely aware of the closeness between them. "Hai, Utena- sama?"
"I love you too," she said, tracing Anthy's cheekbone with her thumb.
Shocked, Anthy didn't know how to react. "But... I thought... I mean... you wouldn't... you didn't...." Her words trailed off, leaving her in silence for a moment. Then, in a whisper: "Really? How long have you felt this way?"
"Ever since we met, I think..."
"Me too.... Ever since the moment I saw you, I found you fascinating... a girl who would dare wear the boy's uniform, who was willing to fight..." She looked up at the pink-haired girl adoringly. "I could never be as strong as you, either physically or emotionally."
"That's not true. Look at what you've had to endure!"
"But that is my destiny and has always been. I live as I have always known I would have to. That's not strength; it's survival."
"But you're still alive. And that counts for something." Utena moved a bit closer.
Anthy shrugged, conscious of the closeness between the two girls. "I suppose. But you... I could never be like you." Unconsciously, she tilted her face upwards, almost as if she expected a kiss. "Utena-sama... why me? You could have anyone..." *but I'm glad you chose me* "...what do you wish of me?" *I'd do anything if it only meant you'd be happy.*
"I just want you to be happy, Anthy," Utena said, kissing her gently.
Responding to the kiss, Anthy felt as she never had before. She felt like she would never have to worry about anything ever again, if only she could keep Utena by her side for eternity.
Utena wrapped her arms protectively around Anthy, gently kissing her again.
