The Count looked up in surprise as Humperdinck thundered down the steps into the Dungeon. He dashed up to where Westley lay in chains and glared at him.
"You truly love each other," he said, "and so you might have been truly happy. Not one couple in a century has that chance, no matter what the movie scripts say. And so I think no wizard in a century will suffer as greatly as you will." He seized the Machine and set it to full blast. Westley screamed horribly as his life was ripped from his body, then lay in a limp pile of bones.
Meanwhile, outside of the castle, Inigo and Fezzik heard the screaming. After Fezzik had awoken (his dream had been an unusually pleasant one, involving a large French woman with dark hair), he had wandered down to the local pub and began chatting with strangers about the odd pets he used to have. Eventually Inigo had stumbled in, looking for butterbeer in which to drown his sorrows, and found Fezzik there. They discussed Vizzini's death and the fact that the red-eyed wizard was the Prince's closest confidante. They decided to go in search of the man in black and ask him to help them get inside the castle; they could break up the wedding and kill the Count all at once, to make it convenient.
"That's him...I know that's him screaming," said Inigo. His green eyes flashed with a fire that hadn't been there in years. "That's the sound of ultimate suffering. My heart made that sound when my father was killed; the wizard in black makes it now."
"'Ow d'you know that, eh?" Fezzik wondered.
Inigo looked at him, surprised. "Didn't you read the script?"
"Couldn't," said the giant forlornly. "Me baby dragon sneezed and burned it all up. That's when 'e got sent to Romania."
"They found the Dungeon without any real trouble," said Dumbledore, sounding amused. "I think our writer got tired."
Hermione giggled. "So who's going to play Miracle Max, I wonder?"
Dumbledore glanced at the next page. "Well, I don't think you're going to like this..."
With the corpse of the man in black firmly in Fezzik's grasp, they made their way to the villlage, where they pounded on the door of the town's only thing approaching a doctor - the potions master, Competent Severus. They had to bribe him extensively just to get him to let them inside.
"I am not doing anything that will cause injury to Prince Humperdinck," said Severus, coldly. "His father is an old acquaintance of mine."
"But you'd be helping the cause of true love," Inigo said pleadingly.
"Like I care." Severus smirked. "Give me a better reason to help you, and I might consider making the potion you need."
Inigo raised an eyebrow, and whipped out his copy of the script. He scanned it hastily. "That's not what you're supposed to say."
"I don't care. I'm not playing this stupid game."
"At this point," Dumbledore read, "a great thunderbolt crashed down from the heavens and flashed through the window, striking the wood that sat in Severus's hearth. It began to burn in an angry blaze, and the potions master glanced nervously at the sky."
"It's not nice to refuse to bow to the writer's will," Fezzik explained. He had placed Westley's corpse on the table. Severus looked sulky, but began to poke the corpse experimentally.
"You'll need a standard Fantasmagoria," he said crossly. "I can brew one up within the hour. But I want it clearly understood that I'm doing this under protest."
"We don't care how you're doing it, just do it!"
So the cauldron was soon bubbling away with the ingredients to make the potion that would restore Westley to life. They tipped his head back and poured the liquid down his throat. He shuddered and sputtered and looked around wildly.
"Who are you? Where am I? Where's Buttercup?"
"Get out of my house," said Severus.
Inigo and Fezzik escorted Westley to the top of the castle wall, where they discussed a plan for getting inside. There were more than thirty guards posted at the gate, determined to protect the Prince and Princess as they married.
Buttercup still hadn't found a wand to perform the killing curse on herself. She knew where one was hidden, though, in the bridal chamber she was supposed to share with Humperdinck that night. All she'd need was a moment or two alone in the room. She was still holding out hope that Westley might come and rescue her before the end of the wedding, but a backup plan is always helpful.
Fezzik had once again returned to the village pub to talk with the strangers there, and returned a quarter of an hour later with a large dog. "This is Fluffy," he said happily, as the beast growled and drooled with all of its three massive heads. They unleashed Fluffy and he charged the guards, sending them running in terror. Fezzik then broke down the door, and they rushed inside.
