A Faith Renewed

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

This is my second try at a fanfiction, hopefully it will be as semi- successful as the first. The plot of this is centered on Makoto, during the Sailor Moon R ( return/romance ) season when Makoto reflects to Usagi and Ami about her past, when the man she refers only to as 'sempai' broke her heart. Anyway, the plot recalls this event, and her comfort from her good friend, Shinozaki. Of all the crushes and affections Makoto has held for guys, I think she best belongs with Shinozaki. This is my biased opinion, since Kino Makoto is ultimately my favorite senshi. In the story, her sempai is referred to only as 'he' because Makoto never mentioned or called him by any other name. Anyway, in the original anime, Shinozaki is supposed to live with his parents, but I have changed this, so he lives alone. [ it's mai fanfic XP ] It's rated R, for a semi-suggestive scene, trust me on this one. The events of the story lead up to the development of the relationship of Shinozaki and Makoto, which in turn will have to be left up to you to discover. With a wounded heart, will Makoto suddenly find love in that which she had never seen before? a closer look at Makoto? Read on to find out.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

It would be foolish to believe I own sailor moon in any way imaginable, it belongs to it's respective owners. Naoko Takeuchi/Toei Animation/Kodansha.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +



She sat alone, seemingly she felt. Her listless thoughts hung over her head like a thick cloud of smoldering smoke. Amid her, fellow classmates bantered on frivolously, unaware of her downcast, disconsolate expression. As usual. Makoto exhaled slowly from where she sat, isolated, sequestered, by herself at her desk. she drew her hands up idly from her lap, which had been clasped tightly, now were clammy and uncomfortable with sweat. The subtlest of movements, known only to her. The teacher spoke lightheartedly, evidently happy about some new assignment he couldn't wait to deliver, another burden thrusted at her, another weight added to her shoulders. She wanted only to focus on him. She closed her pensive, jade eyes momentarily, in a futile attempt to mask and thwart the tears she felt swelling and threatening to surface. No one noticed. Gripping and digging her delicately pale fingers neatly into her palms, she uttered one word to herself, scarcely audible. "Sempai"...Slowly, with great strain. Where are you now? she thought, disheartened to herself.



+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

I thought I saw a man brought to life

he was warm he came around

like he was dignified

he showed me what it was to cry

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +



The weather was overcast, yet somewhat humid, as stagnant dew clung to the fresh cut grass beneath her feet as she made her trek across campus. The sky overhead was warning of rain. She always loved a pleasant storm, for to her, it was revitalizing, invigorating. For the first time in what appeared to be a long while, a small smile creased lightly over her lips. Perhaps, Makoto thought, today would bring joy instead of sorrow. Something abstract inside her appeared to lift, happiness would be a nice counter to the endless, waning, depression she was so used to feeling. Clutching her leather bookbag in her right hand tightly, Makoto hurried into her fifth period class.



+ + + + +



Feeling the soft, cool, promising rain drops on her brow was renewing. A gentle wind was picking up, claiming fallen autumn leaves into swirling spirals, only to be carried off precariously to a new location. Makoto took a refreshing deep breath, taking in the calming, tranquil scent left in the air after a brisk rain. Clean, peaceful, pure. Suddenly infused with hope, she waited. Patiently, the silence filled the vicinity, save the vague scrape of the wind rattling against an empty swing nearby. Trying to cover her receding jubilance, she tightening her fist in emotional restraint as the light sound of splattering rain drops intensified on the roof on the umbrella above her. It soon became an enchanting song, a fascinating melody, however which seemed to be taunting and haunting her pressing fear that he wouldn't come, that he had deserted and forgotten her. She hung her head slowly, numbly, and shut her eyes tightly, trying once again to resist the temptation to allow her faith to shatter and disintegrate. Biding her time, ignoring the loneliness stigmatize inside her, she continued to wait.



+ + + + +



Amid the droning of the rain, Makoto felt someone carefully tap her shoulder. Makoto smiled with growing joy. She was glad he had come. Turning to face him, she met the peculiar, slightly impelling gaze of her partner. His eyes never held hers for long, they shifted uneasily away from her, as if to scan something more compelling beyond them in the sheets of falling rain spilling freely over the tapered edges of the umbrella. Makoto drew her arms up around her, and gave him her best smile, trying not to let the worry and fear shine through.



"I'm glad....you kept your promise...to meet me here"...she began quietly, allowing the relief to penetrate her voice. He stiffened instantly. "There is a reason for that..." he began shallowly, as he struggled with meager difficulty to continue. "I wish...." he broke off suddenly. "I just think...." Makoto stared at him uneasily, trying to calm and restrain her persona. He slowly drew a clasped hand up to his chest, as if to ally his staggering words. "We're too different people. I think it would be best if we decided not to take our relationship any further", he choked out, with an essence of finality. Makoto tightened her grip across her waist, her arms loosely weaving to her sides. She felt the tears press and pulsate at her eyelids as she clamped them shut abruptly. When she finally did look up, pale, transparent, streams of water, instantly fell free, and slide down her cheeks. She made a weak gesture toward him, reflecting her devastation, he tensed, then ducked out of the shelter of the umbrella stanza and into the dense onslaught of oncoming rain.



+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

If I had known the sacrifice

maybe I'd have refrained

nothing is left

my heart is withered and stained

If I had felt the slash

avoided the blade

steered from the vice

maybe I'd never had paid

the ultimate price

a dreamer scorned

a soul's polarity frayed

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +



Shinozaki Asagiri tossed a strayed strand of his chocolate brown hair away from his forehead nonchalantly with his free hand, with minimal effort, slightly grazing the paleness of his forehead. He clutched the umbrella handle absently, and scanned the frontal area of the park carefully. Quickly, deftly, he took off down the cobblestone path, trying his best to avoid the slosh of water from numerous puddles onto his navy blue school uniform. The persistent, mechanical tap of his shoes was the only noticeable sound, save the constant thrumming of the rain. His cerulean, passive, oculars were now weighted with focus and precision, as he searched for her. Constraining his growing worry, Somehow, he had an impending feeling, amid this bleak downpour, Shinozaki felt certain he would find her.



+ + + + +



Makoto stared forward absently. Tears now careened freely down her cheeks. Her long, auburn streaked cinnamon hair clung to her back, plastered smooth against the rainfall. She stood motionless, frozen, as if her will of mobilization had been withdrawn. Her eyes were drearily distant, seemingly now shunned from reality. her limbs hung effortless at her sides. Makoto stood in the downpour, no longer caring how soaking wet she became, for his words has genuinely chilled her to the bone. She was vaguely aware when the gentle, rhythmic tapping of the rain upon her head ebbed, as an umbrella awkwardly sheltered itself above her.



Looking upon her, Shinozaki twinged with concern. Makoto turned to him, not bothering to hide the tears glittering in her eyes. Somehow, he managed to muster a comforting smile, and she moved closer toward him to position herself better under the umbrella. Makoto reached her outstretched hand to the pouring rain, as a small amount of water gathered in the tiny cleft and crevice of her palm. She watched, mechanically, as the cold, clear water gathered, then spilled over the side of her hand, then dripped repeatedly, silently to the ground. Shinozaki watched her intently, as many questions plagued his mind. Makoto pulled her hand back abruptly, as Shinozaki coiled his free arm around her shoulder, and drew her close into the nook of his arm. He was surprised when he felt her shivering against him, her clothes were soaked with rainwater. Makoto shut her eyes tightly, nestling herself closer to him, trying to block out the throng of fresh tears, as she let Shinozaki escort her back down the deserted path.



+ + + + +



Shinozaki slowly removed his arm from around her, and folded the umbrella neatly aside him. Makoto, being aware of this, she numbly, reluctantly pulled away. He reached into his pocket and withdrew the key to his apartment. All around, the persistent downpour had turned Juuban into an constant, glittered swirl, as the rain clung and wove through tree branches along the sidewalk. Shinozaki opened the door partly, then reached out to her, and she followed him inside, head hung downward. He turned and closed the door behind her, just as the far-off rumble and magnitude of thunder could be heard. At this Makoto stiffened. Tears still obscuring her vision, Shinozaki gently lead her down the hall. He reached out and grasped hold of the third and final doorknob of the door, and opened it. A pale light, shadowed by the rain, drifted generously in through the window above the bed. Shinozaki approached the bed, and pulled back the comforter swiftly, and lifted a nearby quilt of the adjacent pillow, and wrapped it around her shoulders. Makoto feebly kicked off her shoes in compliance, keeping her head down, stifling the tears inside her, she laid down silently on the bed, and curled her body into a fetal position, clasping a handful of the quilt against her chest. Shinozaki fixated his eyes on her, feeling the growing torrent of emotions inside him. He stepped forward, and knelt in front of the bed, waiting apprehensively for her to speak.



Crouched unmoving beside her, Shinozaki studied Makoto's tense features. Her eyes, normally so benevolent and jovial, were now stained with doubt and misconception. They never focused, remaining distant, staring idly ahead of her. The only sound was the persistent, raggedness of her breathe, which was hardly audible. Makoto could feel the steady, rhythmic pounding of her heart, erratic, inside her cavity. She lay there motionless, which Shinozaki observed her perplexive gaze, fixated upon something faraway and unseen. Shinozaki sighed in defeat, and lowered his head slowly and carefully to the edge of the the bed near Makoto tensed arm, flung listless against her side. The blankets were cool, yet comfortingly soft, his frame slouched forward, his tepid gaze focusing to the immaculence of the floor.



Minutes dragged and waned on, each moment of silence deafening in his ears, yet he refrained from uttering so much as a word, for fear to disturb such fascinating, yet dreadful quietness. Her voice was so meager, timid, and drenched in mulitated innocence, he hardly raised his head to devote his attention to her.



"Sempai...." she muttered, softly, obscurely at first, then repeated, with growing panic magnitude. "Sempai"..she began again, marshaling her strength, struggling with growing desperateness for her voice not to faltered. Shinozaki slowly removed his head from the edge of the bed, and looked up at her pensively, feeling the profuse, subtle, hints of torment in the simple words she so defiantly decided to utter. "Sempai"...she began, her voice thickly laden with a fresh onslaught of impending tears. Shinozaki's eyes softened, reflecting permissive compassion, as her body began to slowly, but surely rack with sobs. Reaching his arm out to comfort her, he felt how icily cold her skin was, he leaned forward and placed his arm consolingly around her hunched shoulders. Makoto seemed to relax some, and controlled vexing her chagrin. Shinozaki gently placed his hand against her temple, and brushed her soft hair from her eyes. She sighed heavily, her body now trembling from inherent exhaustion. She closed her eyes carefully, and pleaded, silently but surely, for sleep to overtake her distraught mind, so she could forget the searing wound inflicted upon her heart and her pride.



+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +



Makoto slowly cracked her eyes open, and met with the obsidian opaqueness of her surroundings. Moonlight cascaded in through the window above her, immersing a small patch of the bed in it's crystallic beams. How long she had slept she could not accurately guess. Her limbs felt heavy and weighty as she drew one of her arms from her sides incoherently, when her hand idly brushed past the softness of another's arm. Makoto froze, then looked to her side, to take in the sight of Shinozaki, arms curled ornately together at the edge of the bed, propping up his head, which was leaning gently forward, his small frame still and peaceful as he slept. Why had he stayed with her? she wondered, amiss, as thoughts and solutions probed her brain. He was poised protectively in front of her, careful not to disturb her as she had slept herself, yet he had remained beside her. Makoto relaxed slightly, and instinctively scooted herself over to him silently, leaning her head against his outstretched arms, her focusing entirely on him while she lay strewn on the bed, her tears dried and stained against her cheeks. She exhaled slowly, and nestled closer to him, and she longed for the familiarity of sleep to overtake her.



+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

help me i broke apart my insides

help me I've got no soul to sell

help me the only thing that works for me

help me get away from myself

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +



Shinozaki stirred reluctantly from his position, hunched sorely against the side of the bed. Sunlight waned dominantly through the open window, emitting a pale, shallow glow into his bedroom, and casting intricate morning shadows upon the carpet. His eyes immediately met the pale, gentile features of Makoto, she was crouched close to him, her impression passive, as her face was barely a mere inches from his. Her lips were parted slightly, and her breathe came out shallowly, Shinozaki blinked, eyes widened, and simultaneously, he felt a warm, tangible scarlet grow and circulate across his features. Shinozaki studied her carefully, daring not to breathe, differing from last night, she seemed to exude an air of tranquility. Then He rose from his spot lithely, and stretched his arms above his head, attempting in vain to diminish the growing pain along his shoulder blades and spine. Turning his attention to Makoto, he observed her better, her arms were tucked neatly beneath her chin, and her legs were folded astride one another, the quilt he had given her wrapped carefully over most of her frame. He smiled involuntarily, a growing softness as the emotions kindled within him. Slowly, he crept from the room, not wanting to disturb her.



Shinozaki walked deftly down his hallway and into his desolate living room, the thick curtains drawn, revealing small patches of protruding sunlight struggling to poke through. He yawned, and nimbly made his way over to an old, overstuffed, broken - in arm chair and sat down slowly. He exhaled suddenly, scolding and chastising himself for nearly losing his control. Placing his hand against his temple, he struggling to regain his composure. Nearly letting his emotions leak through, he clamped his eyes shut tightly, burying the feelings racking relentlessly in his mind. He could barely tolerate seeing her like this. Distraught, isolated, forsaken. He had known Makoto ever since he was a child, yet what he remembered most explicitly was when these insisting emotions had stigmatized within him, a tumult, threatening and antagonizing him each day to over power his barriers and surface. He sighed forcibly. Maybe I'll never get over this...he thought persuasively. Doomed to my passive resistance...he thought, disheartenedly. Shinozaki lowered his head. His angel, ethereal, divine, was now torn apart mercilessly inside, and all he could do was look upon her with quiet regret and unrequited adoration. Near her, every moment, was both despairing and jubilant. He was sick of the prolonged, condemning, insufferable, yet frequent loneliness. Both excruciating and misleading. He leaned back against the chair, the multitude of emotions plaguing him, and exhaled, revealing his growing, pulsing torment to the endless silence around him.



+ + + + +



Makoto sighed heavily, hoping in vain to control the avalanche of emotions struggling to reveal themselves. Her eyes partly quietly, and were soon exposed to wafting sunlight, and she felt the cool air billowing in from the open window upon the bare skin of her arms. Slowly, she lifted her tired, weighted body from the bed, the sheets now tangled messily around her limbs, threatening to throw her off balance as she stepped from them. Swinging her legs to the side of the bed, she studied the enterior of the room carefully, hoping with some feeble notion she would see Shinozaki somewhere, but not to avail. She sighed remorsefully, and steadied herself precariously on her shaky legs. She had not known how long she had laid there, her hair was twisted and dried from tears clamped to the side of her cheek, her skin now clamy, sticky with the residue from the stain of the tears. Slowly, she walked over to the bathroom door and parted it slowly, as if every motion took unimagineable effort. Her bare feet were uncomfortable against the cold shock of the tile floor beneath her. Slowly, she unclothed hurriedly, and reach over to the shower nozzle, turning the knob and stepped inside.



Scorchingly hot at first, it was a sudden shock against the luke warmth of her skin, wishing only to wash away the coat of pain and failure, she stood under the spray motionless for a few moments, not wanting to move, hoping, the horror and chaos of the preceding afternoon would flicker and dissipate like an extinguished flame, so she might never have known it existed at all. Like some insatiable, endless nightmare, was all the day had brought. She sighed forcibly, drawing her shaking limbs up from her sides, and wrapping them around her sides, now soaked and slick from the shower. The spray washed down her back, causing the length of her auburn hair to stick and cling to her neck and shoulders. Her eyes still held the same, palpable awkward regret, reflecting and indicating the tragedies of yesterday. She didn't want to continue harboring this exasperating sense of lonliness, yet everytime she felt she should overlook her sorrow and attempt to pick of the shattered pieces of her heart, the deep, steady wave of depression would once again engulf her, and it seemed useless to consider such ideals. Sighing again, she tightened her grip along her arm until her knuckles burned white with the tension.



+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

I'm half alive, but I feel mostly dead.

I try and tell myself it'll be all right,

I just shouldn't think anymore tonight

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

Shinozaki leaned forward, feebly attempting to block out the emotions he had worked and strived so hard to conceal. He shook his head, clenching his eyes shut, forcing himself to push them farther down, to his very core, like he had so many times in the past. He clenched his left fist together absently, watching his muscles contract with the evident strain. Strangely, he sat poised like that for some time, hardly allowing or daring himself to breathe. He glanced over at the clock, which was unusually dark, until he realized that the power must have gone out with the onslaught of last night's storm. He released his grip on his hand and slowly drew it up toward himself, leveling it with his forehead and ran it slowly through his disheveled hair, as if to relieve his pain somehow. Placing his arms astride each of his adjacent knees, he leaned forward, and carefully kicked off his slippers idly, he was near to sitting up, once again hiding his torrent of emotions behind his cleverly beguiled mask, when a loud, forbiding crash errupted from the back of the house. Puzzled and all together perplexed, Shinozaki raised his spare form easily up from the chair and crossed the distance down the hall and into his open, yet suprisingly for the moment vacant bedroom agily.



Nothing seemed out of place, suggesting something was amiss, except for the vacated bed, and the twisted bedsheets, half tossed precariously to the side and spilled onto the floor. Shinozaki looked around, unsure of why he was expecting to see the worst, when he noticed the bathroom door was slightly ajar. Carefully, casually, he approached the parted wooden door, reaching his arm out hestitantly to grasp the knob, and pushed it to the side. There, curled up surmissively in front of the shower, which was still running full throttle, sat an all together distraught Makoto, a small bath towel tied hastily around herself, as she sat indesicively in a heap on the coldness of the floor, her cinnamon locks twisted messily and planished smooth against her back from the shower. She did not meet his gaze, nor attempt to stand, as he walked slowly, unsure of what to do, toward her, and reached out to her timidly, grasping her shoulder.

She looked up at him, her eyes no longer holding that distant, confused blankness, but that of exposure. Shinozaki reached past her, and turned off the shower which had been beating repeatedly against the curtain, it trickled off to a hault. Careful not to alarm her, Shinozaki leaned down hesitantly, his arm grazing the bareness of a portion of her flesh, and he involuntarily blushed a deep scarlet hue, emmimating from his pale features. Struggling to hide this, he wrapped his arms around her lower waist, then reached down and scooped up her legs, picking her up easily, making sure to support her full weight, and trying desperately to not let show his gentle, subtle grasp on the protuding contours of her frame, evident through the thinness of the towel. He blinked nonchalantly, trying to shake off the emotions pursuing and tempting him to embrace her into his arms and gush his entire vault of secrets he had kept so carefully tucked away. Lost in the feeling and intimacy of being this close to her, he stiffened, and was unaware that he had paused dead in his tracks in front of the doorway, Daringly, he ran his hand over the area along the left side of her front, letting it trail hardly discreetly over the side of her chest, allowing it to overtly cover her. Makoto, slowly coming to terms and realizing this, look up at him in question, and it was then that he fully understood what stray actions he had done. The reddening crimson on his face deepened, and he stumbled forward reluctantly, and laid her quickly back onto the bed, then pulled the comforter off the floor without stopping to explain and draped it over her. Makoto looked up at him, studying his features closely, and he no longer bothered to conceal the scarlet of his cheeks. Was it my imagination, she thought, musing to herself, or did Shinozaki, my Shinozaki, just...cop a feel? she blushed instantaneously at the vulgar bluntness of her words, and Shinozaki's eyes widened, then he was suprised when he heard, light, scarcely audible, yet still existence, the tinny sound of laughter. He blinked in confusion, then slowly mustered his best, innocent smile. Makoto reached her arm out toward him deftly, encircling his wrist gently and in one fluid motion pulled in onto the bed beside her, leaning up to draw the comforter around them. Stunned, Shinozaki complied, and pulled the comforter back, sliding underneath it to lay beside her. Makoto edged herself closer to him, resting her head against his shouler nimbly. Shinozaki smiled slighty, and no longer cared if his incessant blusing was recongnized. He stared at her for awhile, never breaking his gaze from her passive, jade green eyes.



Makoto's eyes softened as she studied the calmness of his features. She never stopped to wonder, or observed her actions, if she was harboring some hidden sentiments toward her childhood friend, extending the line of platonic, and crossing into an expanse of possibly more intense emotions. Makoto scooted closer toward him, until her nose was nestled against the warmth of his neck. Ignoring his persisent emotions directing himself to hault, he released his pent up feelings, and allowed himself to coil his free arm around her, resting it upon the side of her waist, while the other freely ran through the silky expanse of her hair. Makoto smiled softly, hardly noticeable, as she felt the sweetly mellowness of an all new emotion grasp her after the long, drawn out, idle days of tainted pain. Comfortable contentness.



+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

I am reaching out

beyond my frustration and fear

Opening my heart

once sheltered and sequestered

I beg only you not push me away

and leave me in agony, tangled in the fray

donot banish me to more endless rejection

I plead you release from here



+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

Lying next to him, utterly motionless, Makoto begin to listen to the steady drone of his heart beat beneath her. She had been this close to Shinozaki before, yet for some unknown reason, she felt strangely aware of his presence, such as the light, scarce way his hand rested upon her stomach, she could now sense the warmth of it and she feared he might feel her trembling inside. Somehow, had she easily overlooked or possibly ignored that maybe her feelings directed at him had trascended the normal? The sensation of his frame against her own had only augmented the feelings and doubts which were plaguing her mind. Was there something covert, or even cryptic in the way Shinozaki had acted toward her? or had she been merely imagining it? Had the evanescent yet swiftness of the earlier incident but simply an accident? Makoto's tumult of thoughts were suddenly jarred when she felt his leg lightly graze against her own as she lie unmoving against him, and she was instantly aware that she suddenly felt very vulnerable and peculiar with him than she ever had before.

"Shinozaki...do you believe fate"? she whispered softly. Since she was so close to him, Shinozaki felt the sultry warmth of her breathe on his exposed neck, and simultaneously he began blushing profusely, yet struggled with his best sense of calm to answer her.

"Hai...Mako-chan, but only to a certain extent", he staggered. "I believe, for the most part, you have to make your own decisions, fate only takes you so far, once you're there, it depends on you to make it happen", he concluded. Makoto paused for a moment, then lifted her hand for his shoudler silently, absently trailing it along the length of his chest, and involuntarily, Shinozaki shivered against her agile touch underneath his thin white t-shirt, and curiously, he felt her hand entwine his lightly which had also been resting numbly on his chest. As if in some incantation and barely audible, Makoto murmured quietly as she clasped his hand gently with hers. "Close your eyes...." she began, Shinozaki watched her with silent fascination. "Give me your hand..." she continued, her own jade oculars shut tightly as she spoke. "Can you feel my heart beating....how could this be all wrong"? she

finished, her hand never moving from their delicate grasp. Shinozaki could no longer contain or even hope to conceal the spasms of his own pulsating heart, as a faint, frantic, incomprehensible, fluttering crept into his cavity from the pit of his stomach, and spread into a growing warmth throughout his entire body. Makoto failed to observe she was holding her breathe, and she quivered under his touch, Shinozaki, noticing this, wondering if maybe she had just felt the rapping of his heart, and the intensive wave of emotional perception which had just overtook him. Releasing her breathe, Makoto finally spoke. "Shinozaki...what's happening between us......." she murmured, almost to herself. Shinozaki exhaled steadily and deeply, no longer giving another thought of declaring his true feelings, which had been omitting and pacifying with intensity until the resistence was unbearable.

"You captivate me..." he choked out. "I want to be near you always, for the longest time I concealed these emotions within me, but I can't go on like this, living with the magnitude, wanting you so fathomlessly, and never daring to just reach out to you, whatever I have, I sacrifice it now, even if it's just for now, if I can't final obtain what I've sought and ventured for, it is a moment I would gladly die for". Makoto felt the air catch unwillingly in her throat, she did not speak for what seemed like an endless amount of time. The silence, seeming to express sententious amount of sentiment without a word at all. Shinozaki, dejectedly, slipped his hand from her own and remorsefully began to slide away from her. Upon doing this, his right hand lightly grazed the side of her waist, and Shinozaki was startled when she suddenly reached out and grasped it suprisingly prodigiously. Shinozaki turned back to her, allowing her to draw him back closer toward her. She kept his hand positioned upon the spot of her sotmach, and Shinozaki edged closer, until he was positioned underneath the comforter again, right above her this time, his right arm poised adjacent to one side of her, and slowly, she encircled her hand with his once more, then, much to his suprise, she placed her hand with his over the top of her heart. Shinozaki blinked in all together shock, then she spoke. "I don't want you to leave....this warmth inside my heart...haunts and torments me when you're gone..." she whispered to him. "please...stay with me..." she murmured. Shinozaki was stunned, his hand now fully exposed to the curves of her chest, his face burnt scarlet, his soft, cobalt eyes now went wide. Slowly, Makoto raised up to him, not releasing the position of her hand on top of his, she leaned into him, and slowly but with growing measure, gently pressed the softness of her lips against his own. Shinozaki blinked momentarily, then with a mutual, ignited passion returned the kiss with an even imminent urgency. Makoto lowered her self back down upon the bed, as Shinozaki's free hand encircled her waist. Discreetly, she moved her hand laced with his along the outer brim of the towel which still clung to her stubbornly, and shook it open. Shinozaki, sensing this, jerked back in suprise at first, the inside of the towel now gaping open, yet she held his hand firmly in place, and his eyes blinked in disbelief, unsure of what to do, until he felt the slow motion of her hand moving his slowly down the expanse of her body. Shinozaki, froze for a moment, then slide his hand across the line of her nose and lightly, gingerly over the top of her lips, looking up at him entrustingly, she lightly kissed his hand. His heart throbbing in his chest, refusing to subside, as his eyes traveled the now exposed length of her body. Slowly navigating his shaking hands across the front of her chest, he leaned down and drew her into another kiss, this time, Makoto felt the potency mollifying within in, In the way he navigated his movements, the dexterity of his palm and his ministrations. She released her lament, and suffering, allowing herself to be lost in the tenderness of his touch.



+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

the night thou was my guide

oh night more loving than the rising sun

a night that joined the lover

to thou beloved one

transforming each of them into the other



+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

The day had waned and reached it near end swiftly, and Makoto had decided to allow Shinozaki to persuade her to venture out on a walk, yet neither of them had mentioned the confusion and collision of foreign emotion and inherent temptation of earlier that day. Leaning against the railing set off from the park trail precariously, Makoto felt the soft wind circle and sway her bangs from side to side. She closed her eyes, relishing the feeling of the cool wind against her face. She had changed into her school uniform once more, and brushed her hair smooth which now resting gently atop her shoulders. Shinozaki moved beside her, and exhaled slowly, not wanting to disturb her. Stirred from her silent reverie, Makoto adverted her gaze from the view, and turned to Shinozaki, giving him her best and attempted genuine smile. Responding the this, he returned the gesture, trying fiercely to control himself from blushing once more, especially with the recent exposure of himself and his emotions.

"It's comforting...isn't it..." Makoto half whispered to him, lowering her head slightly. Shinozaki tensed, and leaned closer to her. "Makoto....I understand how you are feeling...and I want you to know, no matter what, I will always be here for you.. I meant what I said...." he began, meekly. Makoto turned to him, half creasing her lips into a small smile. "I know...", she replied, and inched toward him, once again resting her head on his shoulder. eagerly, he extending his arm out toward her, and turned her to him, finally deciding to speak. "There's a hidden strength wrought deep within you...." he began, gazing sincerely into the depth of her eyes, she watched him quietly. Shinozaki continued. "An unfathomable beauty which stretches it's length innerward out, your sincerity, the pureness of your heart, the kindness and impetuosity and virtue which guides your egnimatic personality, I see this, that passion which guides you through your life. I'd give everything, to erase such detrimental memories you hold, to show you at last devotion, to cover up all the pain and doubt, if only you would just let me. The completeness of all this emotion swirling and pulsing inside me, would that be enough? I don't want to continue my life wanting, yearning for something I can't have, and even if only for an instant, if I could feel the warmth in your touch, see the fire in your eyes, and taste the sweetness of your kiss, may that be my last request". Makoto hadn't realized she had been holding her breathe, and she withdrew it, allowing him to fold her into his arms, as small, light tears slide unheeded from her eyes, but the pain was replaced by an all new emotion, far from the boundaries of distressed sorrow. Shinozaki smiled sincerely to her, and she embraced him willingly, allowing him to guide her arms around her. She looked up at him, and was shocked by the depth and genuine devotion in his eyes which ensured the truth of his words. The sheer, simplicity, yet explicit happiness of a path at last gone right. She smiled in contentment, as he reached her hand up, gently clasping her chin, and drew her into a kiss.



The End

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

Upon that misty night

in secrecy, beyond such mortal sight

Without a guide or light

than that which burned so deeply in my heart

That fire t'was led me on

and shone more bright than of the midday sun

To where he waited still

it was a place where no one else could come

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +



I hope you enjoyed it, comments would be much appreciated.



M.a.k.o. C.h.a.n.



J.e.w.e.l.s. 2.6.1.8.@a.o.l.c.o.m.