Someday

I feel numb

I can't feel anything

Neither hate nor loss

Not happiness or fulfillment...

Nothing...

He is gone now

He who should have made my wish come true

He who shaped me to who I am now

He, the soul I have loved

I... I should be the one who died

Who should be the one lying on the cold ground

Lifeless, unmoving

Instead, a sudden twist of fate turned it

So I am still here.

*I* killed him

Was the one who took his life

Was the one who...

I want to die

Here and now

I don't care anymore

I don't care about the fate of the world

I don't care what both of 'them' would think

I don't care if I become 'him'

I don't care what happens to me

I just want to die

And be with him

Without him, I am no one

Without him, I don't exist

I want to be with him

I want to exist where he exists

I don't want to say goodbye

I don't want to leave his side

Even if it means I'll become him

Tiny spectacles of water fill my eyes

These tears.they're useless

These tears are meaningless

Why... how... could I cry

Why do I wish for something that can never ever come true?

How could I wish for something I would not, could not, have

I don't know anything anymore

My thoughts are driving me crazy

I don't know what to believe

I don't even know what 'reality or what 'fantasy' is

If you were just here

If you were here beside me

If you were the person you were before any of these happened...

Then...

We could have been happy

We could have done so many things together

...

I don't want this to...

I *never* wanted this to happen

What I wanted was far more different from this

I wanted to set you free

Free from yourself

Free from being a heartless murderer

Free from feeling nothing at all

Free from the dark shadows inside you

I wanted to do this

Because I had loved you

And I still do,

Seishirou-san...

I still love you...

And someday I'll set you free.

I'll learn to let go

But not today, someday.



**********

To the readers:

I need reviews. Explosives aren't accepted, so are arson threats... keep the gasoline and matches far from me, too. If you want me to murder you, send you flames to reia_aoi@yahoo.com

Thanks to kittyne who gave the title and did a little editing. Thanks a bunch!