{Author's note:Okay, this is my first story that is half-composed of flashbacks."~*~*~" Indicates the end or beginning of a flashback. Bare with me, and oh, PLEASE review.}

"Dontcha think Seifer's been acting weird lately?"

"NOT IN. PARTICULAR. WHY?"

"I dunno, just think he is..."

"..." I sighed, hoping that I wasn't missing anything going on with Seifer. Where is he, anyway? Shouldn't he have been home from work by now?

"Welp, I'm goin' to... uh, the resturant, ya know?!"

"MONEY. CAN'T AFFORD. WHAT DO THERE? ... GO EVERY NIGHT..."

"I just hang out, ya know?!"

"...Hm..." Raijin got up and left, leaving me alone in the posse's Balamb house. I let out another sigh, feeling incredibly lonely, like always, and continued to wait for Seifer. I glanced at my watch, wanting to see the time. It was one AM.

"Seifer..." Acting weird? I hadn't noticed anything different, he was still himself... In a sort... It had only been two years since the sorceress incident, and things had quieted reasonably. I stood up and walked into the kitchen, where I poured myself coffee, and walked into the bedroom that we all shared. I pulled off my shirt and pants, in turn for baggy black pants and a t-shirt.

"...God dammit." I heard. Seifer? He must be home... Hmm... I wonder what kept him... I ignored the fact that he was home and climbed into bed, covering myself from the chilly winter air that was floating around.

"Fujin, you asleep?" I heard him ask. Yes, I'm awake, but...

"Mm." I muttered, turning over to face him, rubbing my eyes, pretending I was tired, since... well, I didn't want him to know I had waited up for him a bit. I was just worried. Don't get me wrong, I hate the bastard, the only thing is, he leads our "posse."

"Where's Raijin?"

"He went... errm, RESTURANT. GONE TO."

"Why the hell...?"

"NOT SURE. BEEN GOING. PAST FEW NIGHTS."

"That's odd... At least he's out of the house." Damn you. Hyne, no...

"You wanna...?" To me, Seifer only had two things on his mind all the time; sex, and cruelty. I obliged, either way, not wanting to cause any sort of trouble. Heart pounding, with hatred and anguish, I sat up.

"Mm. Alright..." I nodded, and Seifer approached me. We did this often, whenever we could get Raijin out of the house for awhile, I didn't know why, or how it started, it just sort of became habitual. As far as Seifer knew, I hated him, and as far as I knew, Seifer hated me. Maybe hate means something else to us.

***

The next morning, I woke up and glanced around the room, and then at Seifer who layed next to me. I hate him... but... there was something... Sighing, I stepped out of bed, and pulled on a bathrobe, noticing that Raijin was not yet home. I didn't bother to be concerned, however. I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower, a wave a depression washing over me.

After my shower, I got dressed and walked to the section of Balamb by the waters that only I go to. I sat and stared into the water, trying desperately to make sense of something in my life- anything... at all.

"Seifer... Raijin... Me... a posse... but what kind of a posse?" I asked myself aloud, as if the metalic waves that were crashing against the shore would answer me. And then the worst possible happened- I began to reminesce.

~~~

My conscieness was lost somewhere in the rough waves of that winter day. My thoughts had taken over completely, and I was unsure of so much... Seifer, however, happened to first on my list.

~*~*~I remember the first day I saw him. I was fourteen, and had just joined Balamb Garden... The memories... Raijin had joined on the same day... Anyway, I went to my classes, and sat alone, while everyone else sat with their best friend at the computer terminals. I noticed the blonde young man because he sat alone also, with his arms stretched across both seats, telling no one to come near him. He constantly mouthed off to our instructor, and I found him fascinating. We never spoke though... I didn't even know his name at the time.

My roommate, Shanai, little did I know, was infatuated with him and Zell Dincht. She was always ranting and raving about how "hot" they were. I usually just shrugged and sighed. One late night, she addressed me about him directly...

I walked into my dorm and plopped on my bed, I wasn't having such a good day, either.

"Ooh my Hyne!" ...

"WHAT?" I asked coldly.

"Did-you-see-Seifer-today?!!"

"...NEGATIVE."

"B-but, isn't he in your phys. ed class?!" Sure, I thought. Yeah, I remember my phsy. ed class... Made us run three miles...

"PERHAPS."

"...Oh, come ON!!" Well, I guess I should tell you about how Shanai was. She was sixteen at the time, and only a little larger than myself. I was rather short and thin, I must have weighed around oh, lets say ninety pounds... and was 5 feet tall. I had both my eyes then, but we'll get into that a little bit later. Back to Shanai- she was obsessed with guys, when I couldn't care less. I mean, we probably couldn't be more different, but... she was nice to me, so I didn't mind having to live with her. But, none the less, she continued her rant about "Seifer."

"He didn't have his shirt-on!!" ...The only guy I noticed (dammit, so I noticed... sue me, why don't you?) without a shirt on, was that blonde guy... was that... Seifer?

"...TALK ABOUT. SITS IN BACK? AKI'S CLASS?"

"YEAH! Thats him!" ...I swallowed- the realization of her infatuation being my mystery hitting me.

"INTERESTING." There was a knock on the door at that time, and she stood up to answer it. Of course, it was Raijin. I mean, honestly, what did you expect? ...My life IS hell, after all.

"Hey, is Fujin here, ya know?!" Shanai turned, and I moved my finger across the middle of my neck. She obviously didn't see the gesture, or just was being a pain in the ass, because she said "Yeah, right here!". I shook my head and glared at Shanai, walking out of the room. Now, Raijin. Raijin was about six feet tall and 14 also, but was still the dumb old idiot he is today. He was friends with "Seifer," and also "friends" with me.

"WHAT WANT?" I ask, starting to walk in step with him.

"Just wanted to see mah ole' Fuu." He always favored me, as if I actually treated him well... I didn't understand that then, but I do now.

"I SEE..."

"So, how ya doing?!?"

"BAD. NOTHING NEW." I don't remember much else of the conversation now, but we had walked all over the Garden, before he said he had to go, so he marched off, and left me. I didn't really feel like going back to my dorm, so I just leaned against the railing and stared at the floor, until I seen a pair of black, steel -toed boots. I slowly cast my gaze up at the walking figure. It was Seifer, as expected. He was heading toward the dorms at a slow pace. I glanced at my watch-eleven thirty pm. I was stupid back then, and still am now, but either way, I could not resist the urge to creep behind him and follow him, to see where his dorm was. I walked slowly behind him, up against the wall, until someone ruined the utter silence.

"Heya Fuu!" Raijin said in a high cheery voice. It scared the shit out of me.

"Aaah!" I had turned by then. "RAIJIN! DIMWIT!" I kicked him relentlessly, forgetting comepletely about the man I had been stalking. I eventually looked up to see Seifer smirking at the sight of me beating up his friend, a man twice my size. I stopped, almost immediately, and stared at Raijin sheepishly.

"Oww! Ya know?! That really hurt!!" He ran off toward Seifer, and began to whine about me. I could hear Seifer laughing, and it caused me to blush, and stared at the floor. I had kept saying to myself not to let it bother me, so, I took my usual position (leaning against the wall with my arms crossed, staring at the floor). Seifer and Raijin approached me. Raijin was tugging on Seifer's sleeve, telling him how much it hurt.

"See, that's her! Fujin, you're always hurting me!! We're SUPPOSED to be friends, remembers?!"

"PARTICULAR. NOT IN." I said, looking up at the two men who where nearly towering over me. Seifer laughed some more... And don't get me wrong, I don't do this to be amusing, its how I really feel... I guess I was weird. Still am.

"Ah, I get it, you're Fujin, right?" I was so concerned with the fact that he didn't know my name up to that point, I forgot to answer.

"...Hello?"

"Oh!! Ye- AFFIRMATIVE."

"I see... Well, I'm Seifer!"

"KNOW."

"Oh. Well, uh, Raijin's always complainin' about ya." ...This had gotten me worried... I got upset at Raijin and kicked him.

"Hey, hey, I was just kidding... geez." He said, patting me on the back. His gloved hands against my shoulder had made me wish I wore a shirt with sleeves.

"I SEE. WELL. MUST GO." I had trotted off, and regretted it when I noticed Shanai watching.

"I didn't know you knew him! Ooh, you HAVE to introduce me...!"

"Uhhh... DO NOT. JUST BUMPED INTO. FAULT. RAIJIN'S."

"Oh. Bummer."~*~*~

I continued to glare down into the waters, until I noticed a drop or two of liquid drop into the waters. I reached up and touched my cheek, and realized these memories of the posse's early days caused my tears.

"Hey..." Seifer muttered, walking up behind me. Why are YOU here...?

"GREETINGS."

"Raijin never came home last night."

"I KNOW."

"...Oh... Well, I have to get to work, Fujin, so, bye." Leave me, go ahead... What is this...? Not a friendship, not a realtionship...! ...Just your sex toy, am I? ...Bastard.

"...FAREWELL." I heard him trudge away, and I continued to stare into the waters. I've never been credited for anything I do...

~*~*~I hadn't interacted with Seifer too much since that night with Raijin, and I liked it that way you could say... I was still sort of embarassed for messing up so much. It was Christmas eve... I hate Christmas, along with all other holidays... So, life sucks even more... I heard the parties outside. Shanai had gotten a date with Seifer... And to be completely honest with you, I was really jealous... I didn't show it, of course. I sat, trying desperately to concentrate on studying for an upcoming math exam, but thoughts kept drifting through my head, and the noise from outside was too loud. Finally, I threw the math text book across the room in anguish, groaning. Maybe I could go outside and grab some kind of alcholic beverage. So, I pulled on a sweater over my tank top and walked out the door, and headed toward the Quad. Once I got there, I seen a beverage table, and grabbed the largest thing there- some sort of beer- and glared across the room, giving anyone who looked my way a cold stare.

"Hey!" I turned, upset that some one had singled me out in particular. It was Raijin.

"GREETINGS."

"Merry Christmas, ya know?!"

"...LEAVE ALONE."

"Awww, but Seifer's gotta a date! Who am I supposed to hang with!?"

"GOING BACK TO DORM. AM."

"Awww! Oh look, hot dogs!" Raijin ran off toward a food table, and I sighed, looking around. I seen Shanai flirting with Zell, eventually, she dragged him out of the room. Interesting, I had thought she was with Seifer. I set my empty glass down and grabbed another, turning and heading back to my dorm. While I walked to my dorm, I was surprised to see Seifer sitting in front of his, talking to Squall Leonheart. I watched silently as Seifer made Squall angry, causing him to walk off upset. I decided maybe it was best to go back to my dorm. So, I set my glass on the floor, and walked past him, going to my dorm.

"Hey, Fujin." ...My heart started to pound for a reason I didn't understand... I didn't understand what caused all of this...

"Hey..." The drinks were starting to get to me because I was talking in normal tone. Oh well, too late to correct it now.

"I really hate these goddamn holidays."

"Me too..." I admitted, turning finally. He had been so close to my back that it caused me to take a step backwards.

"You're really edgy, aren't ya?"

"Y-yeah, that, or its just that I'm half-drunk. Sorry... See, I'm even talking wrong. I should get to bed..." I walked toward my room, and put my hand on the doorknob.

"Wait!" I was surprized at this.

"Yes?"

"...Shanai's in there."

"Yeah, so? She's my, uh, roommate."

"N-no, her and Chicken-wuss." At the time, I had no given clue who "chicken-wuss" was.

"Hmm?"

"You know, uh, Dincht." I knew that my face was turning red, so, I just frowned and slouched down against the wall, sitting on the floor. Seifer sat beside me, and picked up the leftovers of my drink, gulping it all down. My head started to hurt, and I leaned it back against the wall. He glanced down at me.

"Ah, shit, the Garden Staff's gonna run the alcohol check... We should get inside."

"...Fuck." I had muttered, staring at the ground.

"Come on." I was so surprized when he brought me to feet and took me into his dorm. I was half-drunk, but I still remember everything that happened that night. I entered the dark room and glanced around, feeling it was safe to trust him, being Raijin's friend and all.

"Have a seat."

"...Alright..." I sat on his bed, continuing to glance around.

"...You gotta be quiet so they don't come in here..."

"Mm." After the Garden Staff went away, Seifer and I had a decent conversation- until it got personal and I lost alot... including my innocence. I was fifteen.Thanks, Seifer. Thanks again.~*~*~



End Chapter.