Natsume and Musashi

Natsume and Musashi

20 June 2001

Many people would like to have their dreams come true; they're welcome to it. I just had one come to pass and it has made me feel as anxious and unhappy as I've ever felt. In the depths of my psychosis I had no idea I was an unhappy girl, I was simply doing whatever I wanted to, and I had the power to do it. No matter who it hurt. Now I know it hurts to see someone you care about hurt badly and not be able to do something about it. I saw Koga and Merlin (my Alakazam) faint from psychic attacks of such force and quickness I was utterly unprepared for them. The physical pain I suffered was nothing compared to the pain of seeing Koga and Merlin suffer. I'm not ashamed that I cried bitterly for them.

How I stayed conscious through Mewtwo's assault is mysterious, but it saved Merlin, Jessie, and I. Merlin and I have a deep psychic connection, even when he's in a swoon he can sense my thoughts and can use his moves to protect me. Somehow he managed to use teleport to whisk us away from the trouble. Jessie stood between us and was also strong enough to have her wits about her, so she was swept away along with Merlin and myself. Sadly, Koga was snatched from me, and Jessie was separated from her companions as well.

Jessie and I are back at the junction where we first saw the Venusaur. We've come to something of an understanding. I think she will be a valuable ally. She is more courageous than she initially lets on, she's determined and stubborn, she's physically strong, has a feral instinctive intelligence, and underneath her cold exterior she is caring and warm. For once I'm glad can read people quickly. I'll try to write down our conversation after Mewtwo's attack as best I can recall.

"How did we get here?" Jessie asked.

"Merlin can use teleport to aid me if I stay conscious. It's possible that you were the only other being still conscious besides Merlin and I, or you may have hidden psychic skills. Either way Merlin's teleport swept you away with us."

"It's more like psychotic," she half-laughed.

"Whatever," I muttered, "Look, we need to do something about Koga and your partners."

"Like what?" she said emptily.

"Like find them and try to rescue them. I can see James is more than a friend to you, I believe you'd do anything to see him safely back at your side."

"Huh?" she blushed, "What gives you that idea?"

I blushed myself, "I'm sorry, you don't understand why you worry about him so. I don't know much about love, but I have seen it in others, notably my mother and father. You exhibit those feelings for James whether you acknowledge them as such or not."

She blinked at me, "And what would it matter if I did? He can't love a vicious bitch like me anyway." A tear slid down her cheek.

"I'm sorry, but you [i]do[/i]want to rescue him don't you?"

"Yeah sure, of course. Meowth too, I suppose." Then she looked right into my eyes, "You feel the same way about that old ninja, don't you?"

My turn to blink, "I hadn't thought of it that way. He isn't old to me, he's a forthright, shy, lonely compassionate man. I suppose I do harbour stronger feelings than mere friendship for him now, I feel as though I've known him far longer than the few days we've been together."

"Well, what are we going to do about it?"

"I don't know," I mumbled, then I had an insight. "Jessie, your fear of Mewtwo exceeds anything revealed from your briefing. I think you have met with it before but you have no conscious memory of it. If I could enter your subconscious we might learn more about our adversary."

"Well," she said, "What are you waiting for?"

"It's not as simple as reading superficial thought and intention. Your subconscious is little easier for me to enter than it is for yourself. I need to place my hands on your temples to connect our nervous systems as it were. Will you trust me?"

She sighed, and looked at me with a trace of apprehension, sudden resolve in her eyes revealed her decision, "Go ahead, I want to see James again."

I reached out and laid my hands on the sides of her head, slipping my fingers through her long red hair. We both closed our eyes. Then the visions came to me—early memories of an energetic young mother long lost, an awful agonizing youth of brutality and want, fearsome dreams, and hopes of something better. I felt her ache for some sort of success or comfort in life. Then I found access to her memories of Mew and Mewtwo. She and her partners survived near drowning to wash up on New Island pursuing the Ketchem lad who helped me escape my madness. They saw Mewtwo's Pokémon cloning scheme, heard his fearsome telepathic threat to destroy humanity and "Pokémon slaves", saw the cataclysmic battle between Mew and Mewtwo, and the Ketchem boy's martyrdom and resurrection. Mewtwo left to "Learn more in solitude," and wiped conscious memory from the humans who witnessed his plan. "All he wants is enlightenment," I murmured.

At this Jessie's eyes snapped open, "What's that?"

"All Mewtwo wishes is to be left alone to sort out his own existence and that of life itself," I replied.

Jessie nodded then said, "That was amazing! I [i]know[/i]you now. You sure are a lonely girl aren't you?"

"I suppose so," I said hesitantly.

"Don't worry, I understand. I was made to feel an outcast too. I'm impressed that you stuck with your talent even though it made you an outsider. I could never stick to something like that. I'm too lazy."

"Not at all," I said absently, "Don't sell yourself so short."

I shook my head, relieving myself of the last shreds of Jessie's troubled soul, "Mewtwo doesn't necessarily want to harm us, but he wants his privacy. It will be difficult, but I think we can rescue our friends if we promise to leave Mewtwo alone."

Jessie sighed again and smiled thinly at me, "I guess I'm up to it. I sure am glad I have you on my side."

With that she gave me a quick, tight embrace and went off to arrange her supplies and Pokéballs.