Brooding
21 June 2001
I assume it's been at least a day since I last wrote something. Not too much has transpired. Here we sit wondering what will happen to us, and what has become of Sabrina and Jessie. I am almost desperate enough to join the constant chatter of James and Meowth with its regular punctuation of clawing and thwacking, but it's really beneath my dignity. It is not that those two are such terrible company. James is an oddly sweet-natured ne'er-do-well trying to regain long lost wealth. Meowth is a frustrated hedonist not sure of his true purpose in life. In their own way those two both have good hearts hidden beneath apparently callous exteriors.
My time in this cell affords me time to think. I have used my busy work schedule to avoid genuine reflection about the current course of my life. I am at a crossroad. I have a daughter on the cusp of independence (it's only two years until she's eighteen), the love of my youth has grown distant and disinterested, and I spent over twenty years making my reputation as a gym leader only to be "promoted" to the Elite Four where I feel like a Magikarp in a tree. I stand in the middle of my life and I ponder if there is anything left to me for the rest of it.
I worry about Sabrina, did she survive Mewtwo's onslaught? Is she looking for me? Perhaps, like the practical woman she is, she has sought to save herself to fight another day. When Mewtwo came to our cell he wanted to know about Sabrina too.
A most unusual Pokémon, Mewtwo, perfectly sentient, but curiously detached. He communicated via pure telepathic thought. It was clear he was disturbed by our intrusion, and perplexed about what to do with us. It was quite useless to try to keep my thoughts from him so I thought freely about Sabrina.
"Human, your concern for the female is most touching. Why do you think so tenderly of her and show such anxiety? Surely she can take care of herself, if she is as talented as you consider her," said Mewtwo.
"I would rather discuss why we came here," I responded.
"Very well, what business brings you to my inviolate hermitage?"
"I was told that you were vengeful and a hazard to humanity. You had destroyed a lab on New Island and the headquarters of Team Rocket," I answered.
"This man, Giovanni, who told you these things has hidden motives."
I am aware of that, but I had my duty to fulfill, and you did destroy the buildings with many human and Pokémon lives lost."
"What of it? My anger was fearful then. I had been used shamefully and kept in the dark like some slithering Dunsparce. I have learned much since then," Mewtwo's thoughts rumbled in my skull.
"What will become of us?"
"I don't know yet, I am contemplating your fate as I await the Natsume woman."
"She lives, and intends to confront you?" I said trying to restrain the hope and concern in my voice.
"Of course. I had a vision of a battle with her. At present she remains aloof behind a psychic veil, but I know she will come," with that he turned and left us.
"What was that about?" asked James.
"Our fate is undetermined and Sabrina still lives," I said distantly.
"What about Jessie?" he said with a quaver.
"Nothing," I said, "Your concern for your friend is admirable."
"I didn't want her to die before..." he trailed off.
"What?"
"Before I could tell her how precious her company is to me, and how beautiful she is," he groaned.
"I'm sorry'" I offered lamely.
"Never mind, sorry to bother you with it," he muttered.
James went away leaving me to consider my own feelings for Sabrina Natsume. How to describe her? A simple physical description would place her height at five feet six inches with long silken black hair to her lower back cut square with straight bangs. She is slender and lanky, with long artistic fingers, she has a rather narrow face with high cheeks, a small, rather thin nose surmounted by widely-spaced, large, expressive violet eyes that exhibit most of the emotion she constrains in the rest of her face, her mouth is thin-lipped and small. In short, she is a most elegant looking woman. She is an intelligent, intuitive and slyly witty conversationalist. I can also see vulnerability and sadness in her that makes me want to take her in my arms and comfort her to ease her loneliness and sorrow. I'm afraid I have surrendered to her charms and fallen in love. In some ways she is much like Lorelei, in others utterly different. Their demeanour and eyes are similar, but where Lorelei is earthy and athletic, Sabrina is cerebral and sedate. Ah, but what would a reserved young girl like Sabrina see in an old warrior past his prime? Still I sorely wish to see her again, perhaps I would have the courage to speak my mind and heart.
