"Are you sure you want to do this, Ms. Sanada...?"

"AFFIRMATIVE..." I replied, looking the doctor square in the eye.

"You can get child support off of the man who impregnated you..."

"ABORTION. POSITIVE."

"Alright, alright... Here. Take two of these with food."

"THANK YOU." He handed me an envelope with two pills in it, and I put the 2500 gil on the desk, leaving the office.

"Where'd ya go?!" Raijin asked, greeting me.

"...WORK."

"...But ya don't work on Sundays!"

"...LEAVE ALONE."

"But-"

"MAKE DINNER. GO." He trotted off into the kitchen to start dinner, and I sat on the sofa, wondering where Seifer was, but not really caring at the same time. I wonder if doing this is just some awful way to get back at him... Frigging life.

"Where've you been?" Seifer asks, coming out of the bedroom, crossing his arms.

"...OUT."

"...Out where?"

"BUSINESS. YOURS. NOT."

"...Oh really?" I seen his emerald eyes narrow with anger, glaring at me, he stepped toward me, until he was one foot away. Its your fault- if you hadn't been the horny bastard you are... Oh god... its my fault too... At that point, I wanted to collapse into his arms crying, but last time I was ashamed, and this time, he'd probably push me away...

"...I'm sorry..." I muttered... stepping by him. Making me depressed gives him pleasure, I know it... it hurt, when I seen him smirk as I walked away, apologizing like an idiot. I walked into the kitchen to see broiled Chocobo on the table, and frowned, but the doctor had said to take the pills with food.

"I'll eat in my room..." I muttered weakly... Sort of depressed over what I was going to do. After I ate, I opened the small, yellow envelope and pulled out two cerulean pills. ...*Our* baby... I'm going to kill it... just like I killed Shanai.

~*~*~"Fujin."

"YES, SEIFER?"

"Raijin and I were thinking... Uhh, we were hired for Discaplinary commitee, and we need one more person... So, will you join our posse...?"

"...Um... OF COURSE."

"Okay, great, ya know?! We gotta stay together forever...!" ~*~*~

We do...? ...We do. I glanced down at the pills.

"I'm... sorry, Seifer..." I muttered silently, bringing the pills up to my mouth.

"For what?" !!? Seifer came out of the bathroom, which is, as you have probably already guessed, in the bedroom. I scratched my neck, pretending that was the reason my hand was near my mouth.

"...WHAT?"

"Why are you apologizing...? What's in your hand?" ...

"...I, uh..." I was honestly at a loss for words. He came over and reached for my hand, but I slid back on my bed toward the headboard. He followed, crawling on the bed until he was over me, staring down at me with those firey green eyes.

"Seifer..."

"What's in your hand?"

"...Seifer..." He reached for my wrist, and without thinking, I dropped the two pills into my mouth. There was no way I could swallow them, I needed water.

"FUJIN! What the fuck did you just do?"

"...Nothing, Seifer."

"..." He let himself collapse on top of me, and began to kiss me? No, this wasn't a kiss...? What the hell? No, stop it...! His tongue entered my mouth and moved around fiercely, until it found the two pills that were under my tongue. He grabbed them with his tongue- which rather talented... believe me- and took them into his mouth, then spit them out into his hand.

"What the fuck are these?!"

"...For headaches..." I lied.

"I don't frigging believe you." He walked into the bathroom, and moments later, I heard the toilet flush. I shot up out of bed and ran into the bathroom, to see Seifer staring down into the toilet.

"You didn't!"

"Oh yes I did."

"Seifer! ...Those weren't fucking yours to trash! I paid MONEY for those. Not your money- MY money... bastard!" After I stopped yelling the realization of why he did what he did hit me in the face- hard... he... was concerned... Thats why... I'm sorry. -Or, he could just want to make my life more hellish than it already was... Yeah, that was probably it.

"Well, I'm SORRY! ...Fucking bitch has no respect..." He left the room.

~*~*~ "You! You have no appreciation for ANYTHING anyone EVER does for you...!!" Zell had yelled.

"...APOLOGIES!"

"Too late now!" He yelled, upset at me for saving Seifer over Shanai.

"...Fuck off, okay?" Seifer said, giving Zell a look of anger.

"...No! Listen! She was... so important! ...And this... you saved this bastard."

"I SAID shut the fuck up!"

"...You weren't worth saving." I stood there, watching the two verbally abuse eachother, until I couldn't stand it any longer.

"STOP IT!" I had yelled at the top of my lungs. Everything went silent; deadly silent. They had both found me... Seifer first, and Zell second. I had come to Balamb to be alone... Look at what I got... Just the opposite.

"...Get the fuck away from here, Dincht." Zell ran off toward his house, where I guess he was staying for the vacation we received at a high price, and I looked over at Seifer, who shrugged.

"...Fujin."

"Y-yes...?"

"I, uh, wanted to thank you..." I could feel, at this point, cold snow start to fall from the sky.

"...Its fine. Forget about it."

"But... ugh..." He sighed, not able to reply to my statement. I felt so guilty then, and I guess I still do now...~*~*~

I sat back on the bed, sighing, wishing I never lived. Wishing so much... Hyne, Seifer...! ...I can't stand you, and now I'm pregnant with your child... Do you believe this, your fucking child!? ...Okay, I need to stop this. I *have* to get more pills. I can't let him know I have his child inside of me... I just... can't. Seifer entered.

"What were those pills?"

"...Fuck off."

"...Tell me right friggin now!"

"Go away... F-ing bastard."

"...Hmph." The envelope. Oho shit, the envelope... No, no, no! I reached down and put my fingers around it, but then I felt his boot on my fingers.

"Oww, Seifer... Please... that really hurts..." He stepped harder. I crawled onto the floor from my bed, and grabbed the envelope with my other hand, jumping backward onto the bed. Of course, I failed as always, because Seifer pounced on me.

"Hmm... what do we have here...?"

"Seifer... stop it! Why do you have to do this?! You always have made me suffer... Never have you done anything for me... NEVER! ...I saved your fucking life! ...Don't you remember!? ...Shanai died for it... It was MY fault. *I* had to live with that guilt, not you! Go the fuck... away."

"...Damn you." He grabbed the envelope, and read it.

"S-seifer..."

"..." He turned, fire in his eyes... I was really, truely scared.

"...You're friggin' pregnant?!" ...I'm sorry.

"...Um, well, yeah..."

"And you didn't even fucking tell me?! And you were gonna get fricking RID of it...?!" ...I...

"...CARED. DIDN'T THINK SO."

"...What?! ..."

"I SAID I didn't think you'd care!"

"...Fuck, Fujin..."

"Doesn't even fucking matter." I said, leaning back, sliding down to the floor against the wall.

"...It doesn't matter?! What the fuck?!" I stood up.

"Of course not. I mean, what the hell do you care anyway... To you, I'm just your fucking bitch. So the fuck what, I'm pregnant? You don't care so let me fucking get rid of it! You have no say in it anyway." I crossed my arms, and I could see I had made him angry. Trying hard not to show my fear, I opened my mouth to say more.

"You know, you don't even care if I'm dead or alive. You'll just find yourself another bitch... Someone else to fuck... I don't matter. Never have."

"Fujin, stop it!"

"N-no! I have never been cared for, or appreciated. I'm just FUJIN! That's it... nothing special..." What am I doing? "...I'm all alone, and no one cares. Now stop trying to give yourself credit and go away... I don't want to see you..."

"Fujin... I appre-" Stop it. No!

"No you don't! You don't give a fuck! You don't care. No one does... I should... I should just die... Its not like it would matter to you..." I could feel tears stinging in my eye, but I blinked them away.

"Don't SAY that!" I felt a forceful movement hit me in my left jaw, and it burned... it bled alittle too. I slumped down to floor, looking up at Seifer, trying my best not to cry. Seifer... how *could* you...?! He turned, and left the bedroom.