~*~*~ I stayed in the Balamb hotel that night, since the snow had started to come down rather speedily. I think Seifer may have too, but that hadn't mattered. Well, then, anyway... I glared out the window, staring out toward the sea, where the waves crashed against the shore, as snow rained down from the heavens. There must have been at least a foot and a half out there... I sat on the bed sadly, feeling depressed, wondering what/who Seifer was doing... I sighed, standing up, unable to bear the thought of Seifer with someone else.~*~*~
I was loyal then, even... When I hardly knew him... And he hit me... Everything is so fucked up... I don't understand... I really don't. Why...? Why, Seifer? ...Please... tell me why. I swallowed, leaning foward on my bed, trying so hard not to cry, when I decided I should go look in the mirror at just how bad my mind was exaggerating the pain. Not at all, I realized, glaring in the mirror at the large bruise which had formed (and still forming), and a small cut, also. That must have been caused by the silver ring Seifer always wore... Seifer... Oh, I hate him...
"Hey, Fujin! Where are ya, ya know?!" Oh... no, Raijin.
"BATHROOM."
"Oh, sorry. Well, I'm gonna go out, ya know?!"
"...FINE. FUN. HAVE."
"See ya!" I heard him leave, and I grabbed a washcloth, wet it with water, and held it to my cheek, praying some of the swelling would go away. It didn't. So, totally giving up, I walked in a daze to my bed, where I laid, staring at the floor blankly... I had never felt this way before. No thoughts crossed my mind, and I could feel no emotions or pain... I was glad... Maybe I could stay this way forever...
~*~*~I sat on my bed, still glaring out at the snow which continued to fall, until there was a knock on my door. Who found me now...? I thought to myself, standing up and walking toward the door, sighing. I opened it, and seen the hotel manager... Oh shit, what did I do...?
"Hello...? Yes, were you staying here alone?" He asks, looking at me with a pleading look in his eye.
"AFFIRMATIVE."
"Well, we are all booked... And your room seemed to have the most space..."
"Look, this really i-isn't necessary- you bas-" I heard a familar voice say.
"FINE. CAN STAY." I had no clue at the time who it was I was letting into my room... I'd just sleep on the floor- I didn't care... That is, until the hotel manager went away, revealing who else but Seifer Almasy...
"Oh, uh, sorry about him..." He plopped on my bed, getting as comfortable as could be. He was very cold looking- in a literal sense.
"IS FINE." I shut off the lamp and took my place staring out the window, trying my best to pretend he wasn't there... I killed her for you, Seifer, and you think absolutely nothing of it. Sure, Seifer, I have no fucking guilt on my chest... None at all.
"...What's the matter...? Why'd you come here?"
"...NOTHING. WANTED, GET AWAY. WHY YOU?"
"...Followed you..." ...?
"I SEE..." ~*~*~
The fact that Seifer was following me confused me to no end, and I brushed it off quickly. I stepped outside the bedroom to see Seifer laying on the sofa, face buried deep in the cushions. I didn't say anything to him, for once, and I exited to the rain outside, not being able to help but wonder how long I had been pregnant... Seifer... I walked down the small path to the ocean, where I sat, letting the rain come and soak me to the bone, letting my skin wrinkle, and letting my hair stick to my face. I sat for awhile, than sneezed twice, and realized I should go home- beside, it was getting dark out. So, I stood up and walked in the front door. Seifer turned his head from the pillow and looked at me.
"Where the fuck have you been?"
"WAS... Ah-chooh!" Shit. "OUT." I finished, sniffling slightly.
"Out where, exactly?"
"AROUND. TOWN."
"You're soaking wet... You know, Fujin, you are really frickin' stupid, going out like that..." I felt a sneeze coming on. No, no.
"I... HAVE TO. SLEEP." I dragged my wet booted feet into the bedroom, where I sneezed. I pulled off my sopping wet clothes and tossed them to floor, promising myself to pick them up later. I'd take a shower then sleep... Dammit, Seifer... I walked over to my dresser casually and picked up a small picture out of the draw, along with some clothes, that I laid on the bed. I ran my fingers along the picture as a sharp realization hit me. It scared me. Then lightening struck somewhere near, and I dropped the picture. It shattered. I jumped back, grabbing a robe and placing it around me. I was still scared. Almost terrified. I touched my cheek and crouched to the floor. You see, this realization cannot be true...
I was scared. But there it was, as much as I hated it. The realization of all the emotions that had been pent up inside of me for many years... Seifer... Seifer Almasy... I love you. It hurt me, to think it, but I knew unfortunetly, it was true. I got this weird feeling whenever I thought about him, or when his name was mentioned. My heart would go light, and fall to the pits of my stomach, and I'd close my eyes not able to bear the thought of him... So, no matter how long I've been working to put this off, the realization is clear... And there's no denying it.
I was loyal then, even... When I hardly knew him... And he hit me... Everything is so fucked up... I don't understand... I really don't. Why...? Why, Seifer? ...Please... tell me why. I swallowed, leaning foward on my bed, trying so hard not to cry, when I decided I should go look in the mirror at just how bad my mind was exaggerating the pain. Not at all, I realized, glaring in the mirror at the large bruise which had formed (and still forming), and a small cut, also. That must have been caused by the silver ring Seifer always wore... Seifer... Oh, I hate him...
"Hey, Fujin! Where are ya, ya know?!" Oh... no, Raijin.
"BATHROOM."
"Oh, sorry. Well, I'm gonna go out, ya know?!"
"...FINE. FUN. HAVE."
"See ya!" I heard him leave, and I grabbed a washcloth, wet it with water, and held it to my cheek, praying some of the swelling would go away. It didn't. So, totally giving up, I walked in a daze to my bed, where I laid, staring at the floor blankly... I had never felt this way before. No thoughts crossed my mind, and I could feel no emotions or pain... I was glad... Maybe I could stay this way forever...
~*~*~I sat on my bed, still glaring out at the snow which continued to fall, until there was a knock on my door. Who found me now...? I thought to myself, standing up and walking toward the door, sighing. I opened it, and seen the hotel manager... Oh shit, what did I do...?
"Hello...? Yes, were you staying here alone?" He asks, looking at me with a pleading look in his eye.
"AFFIRMATIVE."
"Well, we are all booked... And your room seemed to have the most space..."
"Look, this really i-isn't necessary- you bas-" I heard a familar voice say.
"FINE. CAN STAY." I had no clue at the time who it was I was letting into my room... I'd just sleep on the floor- I didn't care... That is, until the hotel manager went away, revealing who else but Seifer Almasy...
"Oh, uh, sorry about him..." He plopped on my bed, getting as comfortable as could be. He was very cold looking- in a literal sense.
"IS FINE." I shut off the lamp and took my place staring out the window, trying my best to pretend he wasn't there... I killed her for you, Seifer, and you think absolutely nothing of it. Sure, Seifer, I have no fucking guilt on my chest... None at all.
"...What's the matter...? Why'd you come here?"
"...NOTHING. WANTED, GET AWAY. WHY YOU?"
"...Followed you..." ...?
"I SEE..." ~*~*~
The fact that Seifer was following me confused me to no end, and I brushed it off quickly. I stepped outside the bedroom to see Seifer laying on the sofa, face buried deep in the cushions. I didn't say anything to him, for once, and I exited to the rain outside, not being able to help but wonder how long I had been pregnant... Seifer... I walked down the small path to the ocean, where I sat, letting the rain come and soak me to the bone, letting my skin wrinkle, and letting my hair stick to my face. I sat for awhile, than sneezed twice, and realized I should go home- beside, it was getting dark out. So, I stood up and walked in the front door. Seifer turned his head from the pillow and looked at me.
"Where the fuck have you been?"
"WAS... Ah-chooh!" Shit. "OUT." I finished, sniffling slightly.
"Out where, exactly?"
"AROUND. TOWN."
"You're soaking wet... You know, Fujin, you are really frickin' stupid, going out like that..." I felt a sneeze coming on. No, no.
"I... HAVE TO. SLEEP." I dragged my wet booted feet into the bedroom, where I sneezed. I pulled off my sopping wet clothes and tossed them to floor, promising myself to pick them up later. I'd take a shower then sleep... Dammit, Seifer... I walked over to my dresser casually and picked up a small picture out of the draw, along with some clothes, that I laid on the bed. I ran my fingers along the picture as a sharp realization hit me. It scared me. Then lightening struck somewhere near, and I dropped the picture. It shattered. I jumped back, grabbing a robe and placing it around me. I was still scared. Almost terrified. I touched my cheek and crouched to the floor. You see, this realization cannot be true...
I was scared. But there it was, as much as I hated it. The realization of all the emotions that had been pent up inside of me for many years... Seifer... Seifer Almasy... I love you. It hurt me, to think it, but I knew unfortunetly, it was true. I got this weird feeling whenever I thought about him, or when his name was mentioned. My heart would go light, and fall to the pits of my stomach, and I'd close my eyes not able to bear the thought of him... So, no matter how long I've been working to put this off, the realization is clear... And there's no denying it.
