Sometimes, I wonder... Honestly... I woke the next morning with my face stuck to the cold wood of the kitchen table... God fuck. Yeah, okay... I stood up, not really caring for the moistness that had found its place on my cheek, and I walked into the bathroom to take a shower. I could feel it, the warm pellets of water coming down on my back... Ahh... I reached for the hot water and turned it on full, waiting for the hot water to come. But... I waited some more. And more. No hot water. Dammit!

"Fucking peice of shit, who failed to pay the frigging bill?! ...God dammit! ...Fuck... I'm in charge of the fucking bills..." I kicked at the tile wall, but failed also to notice that I was barefoot... And that cold water was running on to the floor. Boom... Damn. Fuck... My ass. I had slipped, and landed square on my ass...

"Shit! Friggin' peice a' shit floor! What the fuck you think you're trying to do?!" I stood up, rubbing my behind, and I glanced at my face in the mirror to see a bruise... I didn't realize I hit my face... Yeah, probably at the rim of the bathtub... Fuck... My perfect face goes down the crapper too... It's then I realize that its on the same cheek as Fujin's... I guess what goes around comes around, and when it comes around, it hits you hard. This just isn't my fucking day... I stepped out of the bathroom and looked around to where the rest of my posse were, and if they were intact. Sort of hoping that they were in a worse condition than me, (I'm awful, I know), I walked into the living room. Raijin was there, (wow, what the fuck?), and sitting on the sofa, watching something on TV. He seemed to be in a good condition... Fujin came out of the kitchen, in the best condition a single white lady who was abused by her impregnator can be... Fuck, thats not good.

"SEIFER. BRUISE. HOW?"

"Heh... I don't fucking know.. Its a long story, okay? ...Damn."

"...FINE." I could tell she was sorry for being concerned, because she immediately left for work... Damn, I guess pregnant women *are* moody... Well, actually Fujin's always moody, but that's beside the frigging point here.

"Hey, Raijin, I gotta go to work... You better be fucking here when I get back, or... damn, I'm gonna get nervous..."

"Yeah, yeah." I exited, and went to work... Life was slow... It was still fucking raining... My life still fucking sucks... Dammit...

Later in my fucked up day, I decided to go get coffee, so I entered the cafe, feeling like I was intruding, since Fujin worked there... Heh, I'm a bastard anyway.

"Service, dammit!" I yell.

"Hold the hell on." A man's voice says, and he comes out... Kind of good-looking... I hope Fujin isn't interested in him... Ah... what the fuck do I care? Anyway.

"Yeah... You know, the item shop sells friggin' coffee, I'll go fucking there next time..." I say, crossing my arms.

"Whatever. Look, what do you want?"

"...Double expresso with nothin in it, you can handle that, I trust?"

"Yeah..." He goes into the back and Fujin comes out. She looks up and smirks briefly. He comes out and gives me the coffee, and I open the small lid and take a sip... It's really good... hm...

"Hey, you fuck, learn how to make fucking coffee! This isn't coffee, this is warmed up shit!"

"What? ...Excuse me, I'll trust that's the best coffee you've ever had!"

"...Not really... I want my friggin gil back."

"...Please."

"...No, I'm fuckin' serious."

"....Mhm. Fuu, come mere." ...Fuu? He called her *Fuu*? The fuck?! Thats IT! Dammit... Goody two fuckin' shoes...

"YES?"

"Taste this. Is it any good? Or is he... being a bastard?"

"IS BASTARD."

"...Fuck off." I say, handing her the coffee. She takes a sip.

"IS FINE. PERFECT. GOOD JOB. SEIFER. GO HOME."

"..."

"Oho... so *you're* Seifer?" He asks, as if I've been talked about before.

"Damn straight."

"Hehe."

"What?" Fujin went silent suddenly, setting my coffee down on the counter.

"Yeah, I mean, *someone* had to make an excuse when social services came in here wondering what the hell happened to a single pregnant woman's face..." He said, crossing his arms over his chest. Guilt washed over my body. This is just not my fucking morning... day... or life.

"Whatever... What the fuck you say anyway?"

"Well, I said she fell in the bathroom, hitting her face on the side of the bathtub." ...Damn, that's just what happened to fucking me! Fuck... Heh, ironic.

"...Yeah, well." I grabbed my coffee and walked out, feeling remarkably guilty, I didn't even bother to go back to work. I just went home, walked in, tossed my Hyperion aside along with my trenchcoat, only to hear the tail end of Raijin's phone conversation.

"Yeah, yeah... I got them... don't worry... I'll get em to ya, ya know?! Oh, damn." He looked up at me. "Gotta go, see ya." He hung up, and smiled at me sheepishly, as if I wasn't on to him that he was a drug pusher... Hm, you never would have guessed.

"Who the frigg was that?"

"...Just a friend."

"Costumer, friend, same thing." I walked into the kitchen at this point, truely believing that Raijin was a drug dealer and that's where he had been. I...am...an...ass... Tch.

Fujin walked in about an hour later, staring at the ground the whole way, and I was afraid she might walk into something, yet hell, she didn't. Why'd she have to be so perfect?!

"...SEIFER... CHILD... ...WANT OR NOT?" She sat across from me, to my surprise.

"...Well..."

"UP TO YOU..."

"Fuu, hun... I... uh..." Totally torn as to what I wanted to say, and what I felt, I stood up and finished with an ever-elusive "I... need to think." I'm an ass, end of story.

Laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling. The oddest thing was- I was actually thinking. Damn... How weird is that? A child. Now... honestly, would I be the selfless and devoted father I needed to be? Whoa, a father... what a frigging word to describe myself as... Okay, anyway... I might just screw everything... Maybe it'd be better off if it wasn't alive. It's parents would be arguing all the time... It. I refer to it as "it." ...

~*~*~

"Matron, why am I at an orphanage...? I mean, can't I be loved like everyone else?"

"...Well..."

"What?"

"...You *are* loved."

"Oh? By whom?"

"Me, and Cid, of course."

"Oh, puh-lease. Jest answer my question."

"Well... Seifer... you were an accident. You understand that, don't you?" That had hit me hard... And so, at that moment, I hardened up, and derived my pleasure off of other people's pain... Nice, isn't it? But, I'll never forget the pain, you know...? ...I have to... keep this kid... She/he'll never know they were an accident... Yeah...

~*~*~

Okay, there. My mind is made up... Dammit. Okay, well what I'd like to know is Fujin's opinion on all of this... I mean, she did attempt abortion, but that might have just been because of me... I don't know... Why do I even give a shit...? Oh yeah... I know now...