Later that night, I walked into the living room, to hear the tail end of another conversation; this time, between Fujin and Raijin.

"Well... whaddaya mean, what does Seifer think of you...? I dunno! I'm guessing... he well, ya know, isn't in your favor... Sorry, ya know?!"

"IS FINE..." There was something in her voice... As if it were choking her back, I didn't understand, because I had never heard it from her before, or from anyone else... Okay... this is what I need to do. I have to *talk* to her. Not just hold conversation. I need to listen, not hear... It'll be hard- but I can do it. I know it...!

"Ey, Fujin." I say, leaning against the door as if I've been there listening to the whole conversation. Screw up number one.

"WHAT?"

"I need to see you... In the kitchen."

"ONE MINUTE."

"No, fucking now." ...Screw up number two.

"NO. YOU WAIT."

"...Its important. You want me to go into it in front of big and stupid?" ...Screw up number three... I can just friggin' see where this is going...

"...FINE. AM COMING."

"Fine, leave me out, ya know?!" ...Yeah, it's going to hell in a handbasket... I can tell these things- when something's gonna get screwed.

"Well, you leave me outta your stash, buddy." What a moron.

"Whatcha talking?!"

"..." Fujin and I walked into the kitchen, and each took a seat across from eachother at the kitchen table.

"Do you want it, Fujin?" Yeah, that's right, get right down to business.

"...I... Well, I don't wish to kill it. But if I must, and you don't think you can care for it properly..."

"I can! And... I think I kinda want it..." God, I sound like a pansy.

"SHOCK. WHY?"

"Look, I've got my fucking reasons..."

"...FINE..." ...Ahh... damn, I've probably just made her feel used... I am screwed. She stood up, and I stood also, taking her lower arm into my hand, and she looked up at me.

"You know, this is a joint deal... If you don't want it... I don't." She tossed me a confused glare.

"..."

"Do you want it, Fujin?" I drew her body closer to mine, grasping her back with my other hand.

"...If you do..." She uttered, looking up at me.

"...I only want it if you do."

"Well, it really isn't whether you want it, or if I want it... It's if *we* want it." ...She's good with words... hehe.

"...It won't work unless we both want it... You're right... So... can we handle it... together?"

"I can handle it with you, can you handle it with me?" She said. Now, I don't know why, but that just seemed like a good time to kiss her- so I did- and she responded. Heh.

"Of course." I said finally, staring into her eye.

"Oh?"

"...Yeah... you're easy to handle..." With that said, I ran my hand down her side down to her hip, and kissed her, grasping at her hair with my other hand.

"Seifer... I've never heard that before..."

"That's because you don't talk to *me* much."

"...Mm..." The phone rang totally killing- no brutally murdering- my moment. I let go of her and she went over and grabbed it.

"Hello?" She said in some sort of desperation I was not used to hearing. It was a desperation as if she had just escaped a demon who was ready to take her to hell and bring her back slowly.

"Hmm..." I let myself mutter.

"Oh... Seth? ...I, uh, see..."

"...?"

"Sure... I'll be right over."

"The fuck?" She hung up.

"Who the frigg was that?"

"No one."

"Sure, like hell. Who the holy fuck is Seth!?" I nearly yelled, getting possessive and upset.

"...The man you met today."

"...Oh, well fuck... What's he want?"

"...Me to come see him." Ah... what the fuck!? ...No. She isn't going anywhere! Who the hell does he think he frigging is, messing with MY Fujin?!

"I don't think so."

"...What? Who the fuck do you think you are?!" She yelled. Uh oh... hehe, I think this is it. Death, with a One hundred and fifteen pound albino. I'll be fucked... hm...

"...You can't control me!" She continued. "I don't belong to... you, and I won't ever! Let it go... You impregnated me, and that's our only fucking affiliation now! I'm s-so tired of you controlling what I do, and who I talk to... Enough is enough, Seifer... I'm leaving. I'll see you later... With the way you treat me- maybe... maybe I won't even come back... I tried, I really did. With everything I had... I used up all of me, trying for YOU... Just... please..." ...For once, in my useless, pointless, completely despondent life, I lost. She won. I was speechless. So many emotions mixed at that moment, and so fast they flew in my mind and heart that I could only grasp one; regret.

At that moment, I wanted to walk over to her, place my arms around her body, and drink every drop of blood out of her. Not because I wanted blood, not because I wanted to kill her (and I didn't want to...), but because I wanted her to be a part of me... That's when I realized we shouldn't of had sex until both of us felt this way... I'm fucked up. With this she turned and left the house, onto the rainy streets of Balamb, to who knows where in this dark, cold night.

~*~*~

"So... can we leave now?" I asked the small albino who was still staring out the window, causing me to wonder what exactly she saw out there... What was so enticing?

"WANT TO?"

"Well, yeah, I mean, I'm locked up here with-..." My voice trailed off, realizing what I was about to say.

"WITH?"

"...No heating! Yeah!"

"CORRECT. I SEE CAN SAVE OWN ASS. HEAT. OUT. NIGHT." Wow, what a lucky bastard I was. I didn't notice the heat having gone out, because I was warm and comfortable under the blankets of the bed, while she was close to the drafty window, feeling every cold air molecule, and none of the warm ones. Upon getting out of bed, I had to jump back in instinctively because it was so damn cold.

"Ey, uh, Fujin, why dontcha come in here? It's warm..." She said nothing.

"If it makes you feel better, I'll get out and... uh, lay on the floor." And that was probably the nicest thing I had ever tried to do.

"AM FINE HERE."

"It's friggin' freezin' out there."

"TO YOU. YES. TO ME... WERE WARM. ALL NIGHT."

"...Look, fine, sorry." With that, I got out of bed and had my way. I walked over to the window and picked her up, then while she was beating on my chest, I layed her on the bed, and lay next to her, arm fastened around her body so she doesn't leave. I covered us both up. She didn't say anything after that, she was just silent- in thought, or totally out of it... Maybe she was thinking about me... Or maybe she was thinking about... her awful, fucked up life... which I didn't realize was there until this very moment, when I stand alone, in our dark, deserted, and lonely kitchen, where there was once an embrace, in which a realization was almost had.

I think the worst mistake I ever made was hesitating when I was going to step off the cliff... The worst (only) mistake she made was stopping me... And the worst mistake we made was definitly getting eachother into a state of mistaken-love. I've got it figured out now, yet I don't want to face it. I eat, but don't *taste*. I hear, but don't *listen*. I look, but don't *see*. I touch... yet I don't *feel*. I love... but I don't realize it.

~~~

So, sequel? Tell me in your review.