Fate copyright 1998 to L'Arc~en~Ciel.
Fushigi Yuugi and all characters are property of Watase Yuu.

HIKARI:LIGHT

The art of war is of vital importance to the State. It is a matter of life and death, a road either to safety or to ruin. Hence under no circumstance can it be neglected...

Sun Tzu, The Art of War

If I had told you I loved you, would you still have died?
Would you?
…Would you?


"The hospital's that way!"
I squinted against the rain. My legs and arms were growing tired, and it was not getting any lighter outside. "Hong-"
"Come on, Nikolas," the former monk urged. "We're almost there."
"What if they don't let us in?"
He frowned at me. "What's with you? You don't want to come?"
"I'm so tired…" I whispered. The thought of what lay waiting for me inside that hospital was almost more than I could bear. "So tired…"
"Nikolas."
Marco's voice. A hand reached out and grabbed my arm, pulling me upright.
"Nikolas, you can run from your past, but you can never outrun it. You must face it. You're afraid, aren't you?"
There was no use denying it.
"Yes."
"Sweet Suzaku…" Hong's voice cut into my thoughts. "Nikolas! Marco!"
I looked at him, then looked back at myself, at Marco, at Duke, at Phillip.
"Seiryuu…"
We were glowing. The three Seiryuu with a blue light, the Suzaku with red. Lightning pierced the sky. I could feel a presence watching me…a presence so near…
"I'm not afraid," I said. "I'm ready."


"He's dying," Jeff said solemnly.
Steven was seated to one side of Jeff, clamping onto his arm as if fearing his brother would evaporate before his eyes. Jeff didn't seem to mind. Taka stood leaning against the wall. I sat on the other side of Steven, leaning forward to meet Jeff's gaze.
"Dying?" Steven whispered.
"I…I don't speak Japanese…so I have no idea what's going on, but the doctor…" He broke off, and I quietly translated his words to Taka.
"I never got to meet him," Steven said softly.
I realized something. "Jeff? Where's your flute?"
For an instant something flared in his eyes, a mirror to the thin blue glow that was reflecting around him.
"I don't need it anymore," he said.


"Hotohori!"
I spun around as she ran into my arms. She was laughing.
"Miaka…?"
"You made it," she said. "You made it." Looking around, I realized that Joe and Denis were standing behind me, uncertain. "And Nuriko, and Tasuki!"
The room was still Taka's bedroom but the walls and furniture were hazy, as if part of a dream, and with a start I realized that we were dressed in the clothes of Konan. The light was warm and crimson sparkled around us. The bed where Miaka had been laying was empty, and she was real flesh and blood as I held her for a moment before gently letting go.
"Miaka? Where is this place?"
She didn't answer me, but simply pointed to a place where the walls seemed to end but did not really end, stretching on to infinity.
"Look."
There was someone kneeling there, surrounded by a bright red light. I took a step forward.
"Mitsukake?"
At the sound of my voice he raised his head, though there was no way he could have heard my words, so softly spoken, at the great distance which he was from me. But when I looked again, I was standing before him and there was no distance at all.
"Heika-sama."
"Mitsukake."
"We are all a part of the circle," he said, his eyes looking through me rather than at me. "Suzaku and Seiryuu, all a part."
I frowned. "What do you mean-?"


"Where is he?" Nikolas demanded. "Where did they put him?"
I looked at Yui, her eyes large, at the two others who were glowing blue, who must be Suboshi and Amiboshi. At Sukinami Taka, standing a little uncertainly by the wall with Duke and Hong.
I put a hand on Nikolas' arm. "Nikolas, calm down." Nodding to Yui. "Sorry it took us so long to get here."
She looked like she was about to cry. "It's..it's all right," she said. "You came."
"We had a slight…mishap," Marco put in wryly.
That almost made Yui smile.
"Stephan's in the ICU," the darker haired of the former twins said. For some reason, I knew he was Amiboshi, even without the flute. "I'll show you."
I beckoned to the Suzaku as we slowly filed out of the room. "Taka? Hong? Duke?"
Taka took a step forward, then stopped, looking at Hong.
"You sure it's all right," Hong said, slowly. Duke looked terrified. "We are Suzaku…"
"To hell with that," I spat. "We're all in this together, aren't we?"
Hong said something to Taka in Japanese, and he nodded. We hurried down the hallway after the others, stopping at a door that looked like all the others. Amiboshi held the door open for us as we entered.
A soft blue light filled the room, surrounding the man who lay on the bed, mixing with all the other lights that marked us as seishi. Nikolas reached out a hand, then drew it back quickly.
"Nakago-sama…" he said. I could feel his sorrow.
The blue glow around him intensified, and then subsided. I frowned.
"What?"
Lightning crashed and then a brilliance filled the room, bright, blazing blue and gold, and I staggered back against the onslaught of light.
Seiryuu…!


Mitsukake closed his eyes again.
"Part of the great circle."
The great circle…
He was no longer speaking but I could hear his voice still.
In order to preserve life…


We were floating in a pool of light.


Nakago-sama.
It was the Suzaku healer, speaking to me out of the wide expanse of blue nothingness.
I know you.
Yes.
What do you want?

He smiled gently. Do not be afraid. I have come to heal you.
I looked at him, and his eyes were full of compassion.
Heal me?
Yes.

He was my enemy. This made no sense. You're Suzaku. I am Seiryuu. Why would you want to heal me?
Do you know what I learned today, Nakago-sama?
He closed his eyes, but the smile remained. Two lifetimes, and it took me until now to realize the truth.
What truth?
I demanded. What do you want with me?
That to preserve life…one must sometimes lose it.
What?
Don't you see? We are all part of the great circle. Seiryuu and Suzaku. All of us.


He was standing, dressed in his armor, as I remembered him from so long ago.
Nakago-sama! Nakago!
I saw Mitsukake, kneeling before him.
It's no use, Yui, Steven said. He can't hear you.


The great…circle?
Yes,
he said, still kneeling. Our individual fate is intertwined with the threads of all the rest, until that of one individual is no longer separate but is part of a lifetime of those with which it is woven. That is why I have come to heal you.
Intertwined…I don't want to be healed. Leave me be!

I felt ghostly presences behind me. I could see them. The seishi, Suzaku and Seiryuu, whom I had lied to. My miko, whom I had betrayed.
But there was no anger in their faces, only hope.
They can see you, the healer said, but they cannot hear you. So many of them, waiting for you. Will you leave them behind?
Yui. Amiboshi. Suboshi. Ashitare. Miboshi. Tomo.

I looked back at him, and for the first time I realized exactly what he was planning to do.
You're going to sacrifice yourself, aren't you? I said, incredulously. You're going to heal me, but in order to heal me, you have to die!
He looked up at me with calm eyes. Yes.
What about people waiting for you? What will happen to them if you die?
I am dying so you may live,
he said, but there was a trace of uncertainty in his voice. That is the noblest goal of all.
It was then I saw her, saw her stepping out of the soft light, clothed in radiant blue, the same way I remembered her, before she died.
Soi…
No, I said to him, as I saw the truth before me. What I had to do. No. Don't you see? It doesn't matter. You don't have to do this. There is nothing for me in life.
She smiled at me, reaching out a hand to me.
I've been waiting for you, Nakago.
I looked back behind me, glancing at each of the faces I had once known but not known.
Amiboshi. I had sent him off to die, and yet he had been willing to give me a second chance.
Suboshi, the beloved of my miko. He nodded at me, and I nodded back. So.
Ashitare. I had killed him, and yet he held nothing against me. He believed in fate.
Miboshi. I had used him, as I had used all of them. He was smiling slightly, sadly.
Tomo. He loved me, and I let him die. I opened my mouth to speak to him, before I remembered that he could not hear me, but he smiled too, and it was all right.
Yui.
The look in her eyes was of acceptance. She was letting me go.
You are noble, I said quietly to the Suzaku healer. But you cannot heal me. Only one thing can heal me.
I-
Live,
I said. Because life is the greatest gift of all, and if it is true that Suzaku and Seiryuu both are intertwined in a vast circle, then my circle can never be complete in life. Because what had made me complete is here.
I took her hand and she was warm against me, and she kissed me.
I love you, Nakago.
The healer smiled again, and I saw that he understood.
I love you, Soi, I said. Take me with you.
And as we stepped into the light, I knew that I was complete.


The light faded, and I found myself leaning against a smooth wall, the wall of a hospital room.
"What-" Phillip said in bewilderment.
The bed in the center of the room was empty, the sheets made, as if it had never been occupied. A silver flute lay atop the sheets.
"He's gone," Yui said softly. "Just like that."
I remembered the woman who had come to meet him. I had seen her face and in that moment I knew that for him, there had been no turning back.
Soi, take care of him.
"Nikolas? Are you all right?"
Touching two fingers to my cheek, I found that I was crying silently and hadn't even realized it. But what I felt wasn't grief…simply…release.
"Yes," I said softly. "I'm fine."


With a shock I opened my eyes, finding myself sprawled half on the bed and half on the floor of the room.
There was a movement from the bed and I pushed myself up, hardly daring to hope.
"Andy?" Miaka said. Her eyes found me. "Oh! So…it wasn't a dream."
"No," I whispered. "It wasn't."
I looked back at Joe and Denis, then at Miaka as she slowly sat up. There was light coming from the window.
"I can't bring myself to hate him," she murmured. "For all the things that he did…just seeing that…it was more than enough to make up. For everything."
I nodded. "Miaka…how are you feeling?"
The smile on her face was small, but substantial.
"Better. Can I have something to eat?"


For a moment I wasn't sure why I was on the carpet with my hands clasped, and then it came rushing back to me as I stood shakily.
He had refused my offer. Refused my offer of healing, and had instead accepted his fate.
I had offered, and he had refused.
I remembered the look on his face when he had seen her…the woman who had been known as Soi. And I thought I understood why he had.
She was his fate. No, his destiny.
He had chosen the correct path.
The phone rang, and I lept up, grabbing it.
"Sr. Almeida? Your wife is awake and is asking to see you…"


We emerged back into the hall of the hospital, filing out one by one in silence. I closed the door of the empty room behind me softly.
There were no guards attempting to stop us this time as we gathered soaked coats and boots from the waiting room and prepared to leave. No one spoke. The glow had faded from around us as well, leaving me feeling…
Empty.
So it always was, with fate.
To my surprise, I could see light coming from the direction of the main entrance to the hospital. The others saw it too. I could see the confused expressions on their faces as we made our way to the doors, and then I stopped.
The ground was still wet, but there was no flooding, no storm clouds, no thunder and lightning. The sky was tinted with brilliant purple and blue and gold and crimson.
"Amazing," I whispered.
I felt Yui take my hand and I turned, wrapping her into a tight embrace. The air was cool around us, as morning air should be.
I thought of Nakago and Soi, gone forever now. But it was fitting. And perhaps in another lifetime we would all meet again, fully redeemed, ready to face each other as not as enemies, but as friends.
There was always that hope.
"Look, Steven," Yui said, pulling out of my arms. She was smiling. At me, at each of the seishi, Seiryuu or Suzaku, that were gathered around us. Jeff put his arm around me. "The sun's coming up."
The circle was indeed complete.
"Isn't it beautiful?"