A Stormy Conversation
Abby paid the driver and then, opening the door, ran through the rain to the entrance of the ER. The rain was pouring down in sheets. It felt like needles hitting her, her skin burning for a couple seconds after a raindrop landed on it. It was cold too, chilling her to the bone.
When she stepped through the doors she ran her fingers through her dripping wet hair. Kerry was at the admit desk talking to Luka.
"Hi." Kerry said looking up when Abby walked over.
"Hi Kerry." Abby replied. "Is there anything you need help with today?"
Kerry looked at the charts. "We don't have a lot of patients, things have been slow today. I'm surprised. Why don't you and Luka go organize the stock room? It's been awhile since someone has done that."
Luka and Abby looked at each other for awhile, and then shrugging Luka said, "Sure."
Abby nodded. "Okay. I'll meet you there, I'm going to go put my stuff in my locker quickly."
"All right." Luka said quietly and headed off to the stock room. Abby left to go to the lounge. She opened her locker and put her bag on one of the hooks. Grabbing a comb off the shelf at the top of her locker, she pulled it through her hair getting out the tangles that were caused from the whipping wind.
She put the comb back in and quietly shut her locker. She walked over to the sink and leaned over it. Grabbing a clump of her hair she squeezed it, trying to get as much water out as possible. She listened to the sound of the water from her hair hitting the sink mixed with the muffled pounding of the rain hitting the building.
After she finished getting the excess water out of her hair, she stood leaning against the sink, staring out the window.
The wind was waving the trees around violently, tearing leaves and branches off. The leaves plastered themselves against the window and the branches scratched them, leaving as much destruction from their pain as they could. She understood what it was like to want to lash out angrily when being ripped away from something you needed, or, when you felt you would be ripped away.
Shaking her head she ripped her gaze away from the window. As she headed to the door there was a boom as the thunder rumbled outside. She quickly looked to the window and saw the black sky light up with crack. After it darkened she could still see the zigzag that had caused the sudden burst of light, burning in the night sky.
She turned around and pushed open the door, leaving the empty lounge behind.
~ ~ ~
She walked slowly to the stock room so that her wet shoes didn't make as much of a squish as they would if she had been walking faster. She walked in to see Luka bent over a box, sorting through it.
"Hi. What should I do?"
Startled, Luka straightened and looked behind him. "Oh! Hi, Abby. Just take a shelf and start sorting I guess." He said and looked back into the box.
Luka's eyes were guarded and Abby felt a pang as she realized that he was hurting.
"How are you doing Luka?" she asked him, picking a box off one of the shelves.
"I'm fine."
Abby sighed. "No, I mean with Nicole."
She saw Luka stiffen up when she mentioned Nicole.
"Fine I guess. It's better for both of us if she's not living with me." He answered.
"What about the baby?" Abby asked.
"I've told you already, there's no baby to worry about." He answered curtly.
Abby sighed again. Obviously she had not explained what she was asking very well.
"What I mean is, how are you dealing with the fact that there is no baby?" Abby tried again.
"Why?" Luka asked as he turned around, staring at her suspiciously.
"I-I know how much children mean to you. I was just wondering if you were disappointed that there was no baby." Abby stammered.
"Oh." Luka said quietly, his gaze softening a little as he stared at the floor. "No, I'm not disappointed. I love children, but I don't want to have Nicole. I never did. She's not that important to me. I just brought her in to help her out until she got a job. I never meant to do anything with her. I don't love her like that."
Abby didn't mean to pry, but she couldn't stop herself. "I-is there anybody you do love like that?"
Luka glanced up quickly and then turned around. "Yes."
"Who?"
"You."
~ ~ ~
After Luka had told her that she had immediately turned around and continued with her work. She had wanted him to answer that way. She didn't understand why she didn't tell him how she was feeling. It had been something that had been eating her up ever since they broke up.
When she was halfway through with her shelf she couldn't stand it any longer.
"Luka."
She saw him pause before he turned around. He didn't want another interrogation about Nicole, and she didn't blame him. "What?"
"The day Nicole told you she wasn't pregnant, she came here looking for you. I told her I didn't know where you were and offered her to come to the lounge for a cup of coffee. She didn't take anything because it had caffeine in it. So, I asked her if she wanted me to do an ultra-sound. She said no." Abby told him, then stopped. She didn't know exactly where she was heading with this conversation.
"Why did you want to do an ultra-sound?" Luka asked her.
"I don't know. To prove that she wasn't pregnant I guess." Abby said, looking down at the floor in shame.
"Why did you want to prove her wrong?" Luka inquired. Abby thought it was ironic that just as she could interrogate Luka about Nicole, he could do the same with her.
"Because I didn't want you to have a baby with her. I didn't want her carrying your baby." Abby told him.
"Why?"
She didn't deserve you! She was a lying coward! She'd do anything to get a bit of sympathy! Because then you'd consider marrying her and I want to be with you! Because if you have a baby I want it to be with me! A million thoughts raised through Abby's head but she banished them all completely when she thought that last thought. She didn't want a baby, well she did, but she couldn't. That's why she had gotten rid of one.
So, instead of telling the truth she just shrugged her shoulders saying, "I don't know.
She turned back to her shelf, feeling his gaze on her. She felt him take his eyes off her and she turned around quickly. "Luka!"
"Yes Abby?" he said looking at her again.
"When you were with me were you happy? Did I make you happy?" she asked him, blinking furiously to keep the tears out of her eyes.
"When you talked to me, and spent time with me, I was the happiest I had ever been." He told her. Seeing her struggle to keep the tears from flowing he asked, "Why?"
"N-Nicole said that maybe I didn't want you to be happy. But I do, don't I?" Abby asked her voice wavering.
Not able to hold the tears any longer they began streaming down her face. She sat down on the ground and held her face in her hands as her body shook with sobs.
Luka quickly shut the door and then bent down beside her, gently rubbing his hand in circles on her back.
"Abby, Abby," he whispered soothingly. "You do want me to be happy. You want Carter to be happy. You want people to be happy. You're not a mean person denying people of happiness."
"Then, w-why did I push you away? Leave you in the dark when I was telling Carter everything?"
"I don't know. Maybe you were afraid of telling me something, I don't know." Luka answered, wishing as hard as he could that he could answer her questions and make her feel better.
She looked up tears staining her face, "Luka…" she tried to say something but she burst into tears again.
Luka leaned against the closed door and pulled Abby to him. He stroked her hair as she cried into his shoulder.
When she had quieted down a little she asked, "Why did we break up? What caused that fight."
Luka shook his head. "I'm not sure. We both were dealing with things, but as we were sorting through the things that had happened to us, we never shared them with each other. I don't know why, fear maybe. But, after awhile, I guess the tension of all the secrets we kept from each other got to us."
"I loved you Luka," Abby whispered and then quickly corrected herself, "I do love you."
Luka smiled, "I love you too Abby."
"Do you want to go to Doc Magoo's or someplace for dinner later on?" Abby asked him staring up into his face.
"Yeah, that would be nice." Luka smiled down on her.
Abby smiled too, and he felt her relief. She straightened up a little and kissed him lightly. "Thanks for talking Luka. We should do that again. It felt good to talk to you about the things that were bothering me."
"It did feel good." He agreed as they stood up. They got back to their work.
A half-hour later when they emerged from the stock room holding each other's hands they noticed that the storm had stopped. Smiling they both walked to the lounge to get their stuff for their break, ready to start over.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. I am not making a profit off of this story.
