"I killed You-Know-Who."
A simple sentence, but one that inspired such a tumult of
emotions inside both Severus Snape and Harry Potter.
The former could barely distinguish what he felt, but above
all he knew it was disbelief.
Unable to speak… to ask for confirmation, Snape pondered
the ethereal idea.
One thought however eclipsed ideas of a world without
Voldemort it was the realisation that Harry seemed now unable to pronounce the
very name of the one he claimed to have killed.
Harry on the other hand felt the now familiar waves of
self-loathing pound his guilt-ridden conscience.
Eventually Snape managed to regain the power of speech.
"What happened?" He
asked, unable to keep the wonder from his voice.
Harry blinked back at him open mouthed.
"Tell me what happened." Repeated Snape trying to inject fresh authority into his voice.
"He fell, must have surprised him. It was strange. Almost as though I had just at that moment woken from a
nightmare… I was confused, in a daze I suppose. I never saw it coming."
"Saw what?"
"The killing curse. I didn't even hear him say Avada Kedavra."
"Who?"
"Lucius Malfoy." Hissed Harry. "He tried to kill me…
But… Peter… He dived in front of me… he saved me."
"Peter Pettigrew?" Asked Snape.
"When Malfoy saw what had happened he laughed…
Laughed! He said that it didn't matter,
that he had a better way to get his master's revenge… He k-killed S… He killed
m-my… He k-killed him."
Harry clenched his fists in torment. "I should have stopped him. I could have done something… All I did was
stand there! He died before my
eyes! And I LET IT HAPPEN! It was my fault he was there! He'd gone looking for me when he realised
I'd run away! He died because of
me! I KILLED HIM!"
Harry trembled with suppressed emotion and the air was
thick with tension. Suddenly, as though
releasing the self-loathing and hatred that was pent up in the air the window
of the Hospital Wing shattered.
Snape stared at Harry. The thought of the events he'd just described had been too much for the
boy. He'd collapsed back into his bed.
In his own mind the sequence of events was only just
becoming clear to Snape…
"If this is true, Dumbledore needs to know!" He muttered to himself
"Talking to yourself Severus?" Asked Dumbledore from across the room.
"Albus! I didn't
hear you come in! Harry told me…"
"It's alright, I already know." Interrupted Dumbledore standing up.
"But, how?"
"Making oneself invisible is immeasurably useful at
times." Replied Dumbledore with a glint
in his eye.
"Was he… telling the truth? Can it really be true?" Implored the Ex-Death Eater anxiously.
"I believe Mr Potter was telling the truth. Whether or not Voldemort is really gone…"
"This is too much! I've done what you asked. Now
I'm leaving!" Insisted Snape feeling
slightly overwhelmed.
"Calm down Severus. We need to think clearly." Said
Dumbledore dismissively.
"Calm Down? CALM
DOWN?! After what he's just told me, I
will not calm down!" Replied Snape his voice rising to a yell, pointing a shaky
finger at Harry.
"It would seem there is nothing we can do about Sirius… or
Peter. But we have to find out where
this happened and what happened afterwards." Reasoned the elderly mage
Snape sat back down muted.
"You also have to help Harry… He has a lot to cope with."
With that Dumbledore swept out of the room before Snape
could reply.
~~~
"They know now Harry… As soon as they get the rest of the
details they'll throw you out!"
The voice seemed ever present to Harry.
"Stop it! I've lost
my godfather! I can't afford to loose
my mind." He muttered.
"You didn't even check to see if they were dead, you ran away sobbing like a girl."
Harry started humming and curled himself up into a ball.
"You didn't even have the guts to bring back his body with you."
Harry tried to shut out the voice began rocking gently.
"He's probably still lying there, on the ground. Not even properly buried."
Harry began speaking in mantras
"I killed him, I killed him, I killed him…"
"You're worse than a Death Eater, you can't even stick to one side or the other."
"Its over, its over, its all over…"
"You're worse than the scum who killed your parents… And you killed him as well, didn't you!"
"Go away, go away, go away!"
"What will Ron and Hermione think of you?"
"No! Stop it!"
"Even Snape is disgusted with you."
"I won't listen!"
"What would your parents think of their son?"
"NO!!!"
Suddenly… There was no voice… Nothing… Just blackness.
~~~
Minerva McGonagall sighed as she made her way up the
weed-plagued pathway towards the run down old cottage.
I always get the worst jobs. She mused.
When she got to the front door she knocked briskly and
waited.
Looking around the garden she noticed one small patch of it
was neatly sown and obviously cared for properly. She smiled when she recognised the flowers were those that
muggles called 'Lupin'.
The door opened suddenly and when she turned around Minerva
found herself at the end of Remus Lupin's wand.
"Oh! Sorry
Minerva. I wasn't expecting
anyone." Muttered Lupin lowering his
wand hastily and stepping out of the way so that she could go through.
"Quite alright Remus, it's good to know you're on your
guard."
The cottage was plain and sparsely decorated but well kept
and immaculately clean.
"To what do I owe this unexpected visit?" Asked Lupin with an edge of anxiety in his
otherwise pleasant voice as he rounded the heavy wooden kitchen table.
"I was sent to ask after Sirius." Admitted McGonagall.
Lupin's face paled dramatically.
"Dumbledore sent you here?" He asked in a quiet voice.
"Yes." Answered
McGonagall "Are you alright?"
"Sirius left for Hogwarts a week ago to tell Dumbledore about
Harry's letter." Revealed Lupin biting
his lip.
"What letter?" Asked McGonagall, curious.
"Harry's owl delivered his school letter to Sirius. We assumed that there was something wrong
with Harry if Hedwig couldn't reach him." Said Lupin faintly.
McGonagall took a rather shaky deep breath.
"Do you know if Harry's alright?" Asked Lupin suddenly.
"I think you'd better come with me to Hogwarts. Harry is there." She said standing up quickly and grabbing Lupin's shoulder.
She was a bit surprised to see him wince.
"What is it?" She
asked.
"Transformation two days ago, it's alright." Muttered Lupin and then they both
disappeared with a pop.
~~~
Dumbledore allowed Severus a break soon after their
confrontation. He left Harry under the
supervision of Remus Lupin.
Lupin had arrived with Minerva and the two of them had been
informed of Harry's confessions.
Lupin now sat at Harry's side feeling numb. If he'd accepted it he would know that the
reason he felt guilty was not his fault.
If I wasn't the monster I am I could have gone with Sirius. Perhaps if I'd been there… If only it hadn't been a full moon… Oh Sirius… Oh Harry.
He was alarmed when Harry woke up. The boy seemed completely oblivious to
anything. He didn't even acknowledge
Lupin's presence.
Is this really that brave, friendly, capable boy I taught? Is this really James' son?
But when Harry started talking to himself and became agitated Lupin really started to worry.
"Harry!" He
shouted, but Harry didn't even seem to hear him.
He seemed to be having a conversation with someone
invisible… Or was it a voice in his head?
Panicking Remus hurriedly summoned Dumbledore.
He and the headmaster heard Harry's pleading scream of
'No!!!' and returned in time to see Harry summon a wand from across the room
and use it to stun himself before collapsing, unconscious again.
####~~~~####~~~~####
A/N
As is quite usual with me everything is NOT as it seems…
*evil
cackle*
There will be one last part after this one or possibly two. Depends on how I feel!
Thankyou for the reviews! I wasn't sure how this fic would go down… *grins*
Thanks go to…
Kit Cloudkicker – Soz I missed you last time… I really didn't
mean too! I treasure every review! Not all has yet been revealed…
Lily*Potter – All will be revealed
QtPie079 – I'm sorry! But please don't stop reading! I beg of you!!!!
Lin-z – I'm glad I gave you a surprise… That's what I was hoping
to do!
Holli – I'm flattered, and yes… I am an evil cliffhanger person…
*hangs head*
dani – Gr8 review!!! I like evil Harry sometimes… But don't
tell anyone I said that!
sweets – Thanks! It's
ok about the first two chapters. Auriellis…
I was putting it on hold coz not many seemed interested… But perhaps I'll re-think
that now.
Tia'RaHu – Thankyou, you got your answer!
Coqui – I love your stories!!! I feel a bit faint now! Thanks for reviewing!
vmr – more on that later… *evil grin*
Freda Potter – Don't give up on me! I know I'm mean and evil! But please!
Sandra Solaria Dees – (Cool name!) Thankyou… there it was!
Em – Thanks!
Okay… If I missed anyone I apologise profusely! I tried my best!!!
Oh, and Jess & Ady, you two have already read this chapter
so I missed you guys out coz I didn't think there would be much point, but Thankyou
anywasy, you know that you two rock!
Love
Jona
xxx
