Running Smooth
by Juu-chan and Abandonment
Note: For all warnings, disclaimers, and notes, see Part One.
- - -
Part Four: The Club
- - -
Duo sat in the back of the cab, slumped, legs spread, resting his head against the window and looking out. As the cab drove it jumped and shook, vibrating and making Duo's head knock against the glass. He ignored it.
Heero had been left alone in the apartment again. His meager belongings and the new clothing were unpacked and he had been given a tour of the space. Both of them had eaten a meal - dinner, or something similar; Duo no longer gave his meals names due to his odd hours. Duo was sure Heero would be fine alone with Duo's laptop and what little he had brought. It was not Heero that Duo was concerned for and thinking about - it was himself.
The taxi slowed to a stop just down the street from the dance club Duo worked at. The American jumped out, paid the driver, and walked up to the back entrance. He entered, taking one look back over his shoulder at the city. This night would be as long as the one before.
The first few hours passed without issue.
Duo's job at the club was not fixed. He was strong enough to fill in for a sick bouncer (although not as dominating as his employers would have liked). He had sharp eyes to watch out for those who threatened to cause trouble. He moved easily through crowds, a talent that was very useful at the club. He could work decks and had a strong group of followers that loved his heavy-beat, dark mixes. The only position that Duo officially held was that of a dancer.
They loved to watch him dance, many came to see him dance, and he loved to dance for them. On the floor and on his platform, Duo's natural grace gave him the ability and freedom to manipulate his body, his long limbs, his expression, and even his meter-length of hair. He twisted, turned, swung his head, gyrated his slim hips. Alone or with a partner, he became the dance. Changing colors, flashing lights reflected on leather, glitter, sweat, pounding beats, heavy loud melodies that rang in the ear, exhaustion, adrenaline - he loved it all.
He worked there because he could dance. The owners loved it - on the nights he worked the house was packed. And Duo loved it. He used it to escape from, to forget, who he was. On this night he also used it to escape who Heero was.
He was dancing, just after one in the morning, when Ethan found him.
Ethan pushed his way through the crowd until he came to the place where Duo was. He then reached out and grabbed the arm of the girl closest to Duo. He ripped her away and shoved her to the side. Duo continued to dance, eyes narrow slits as he moved, and Ethan took the place now vacated.
The song was not very hard and not very loud, but as Duo and Ethan danced it began to pound. The onlookers called. Their bodies locked together, rubbed against each other, pulled apart and crushed together. And then Ethan's hand found Duo's braid and his fingers broke the band: a sudden flurry of chestnut hair, reflecting a rainbow of light. The young men were hidden beneath it before Duo slid down, body pressed to Ethan's leg, until his hair was layered on the floor. He said Ethan's name, moaned beneath the music. The second boy grabbed a handful of hair and pulled Duo to stand. Their mouths met with a bruising violence and the others around them let out a collective call at the display. Soon they danced again, Duo's hair the flight of a thousand birds as they moved. They kept going until both were gasping for air.
Ethan then pulled Duo off the floor, pushing through the crowd. He ordered drinks from the bartender, then grabbed a stool and pushed Duo into his lap. Both ignored the looks they received; they had grown accustomed to them.
"Hey, sweetheart," Ethan said after regaining his breath. He nuzzled Duo's neck and then teased Duo's earlobe with his tongue. "How has your night been?"
"Not bad," Duo said, reaching for his drink the bartender had delivered to the counter.
"Better now that I'm here?" Ethan asked, and then laughed.
Duo downed his drink and another was placed down for him. This drink he sipped, legs wrapped around the other male and body leaning forward. Ethan talked and kissed the bare skin underneath Duo's open metallic-violet vest while Duo enjoyed his break. Soon he would be back at work, but for now his employers would allow him to do what he wanted.
He would be given another break later in the evening, and on this night, like many others, Ethan would occupy his time.
It was always the same on the nights Ethan showed up. They danced together and then stopped for a drink before Duo returned to his job and Ethan returned to the dance floor; after a few hours passed Ethan pulled Duo away from the club, backstage to the employees' changing rooms; they would emerge later, sedated. The pattern had not changed from their first time together, but Duo did not mind. He found comfort in the predictable routine. Ethan was protective, edging on territorial, and Duo felt secure being wanted and guarded. And the sex was wonderful: unlike their routine it changed constantly and never once did it leave Duo wanting more.
And yet he had wanted Heero the previous night, with the scent of Ethan still on his skin.
"You're quiet tonight, pet," Ethan said, interrupting Duo's thoughts.
"I hate that nickname," Duo replied as Ethan took to his drink.
Ethan swallowed and laughed. "I know you do. But you /are/ my little pet, so just get used to it."
"Only yours?" Duo looked away from Ethan as he asked the question, watching instead those on the dance floor.
"Damn right."
No - Duo knew that Ethan could never find out Heero was in town, much less that they were living - and sleeping - together. He knew he was in deep and he knew there was no way to escape unscathed. Shit, he thought, something's gonna have to change.
The night, already a new day, continued as Duo had known it would. After rebraiding his hair, he went back to work and earned his pay. Before he left Ethan found him again and for a while, Duo was able to forget his dilemma.
For the moment, he had been free from Heero.
- - -
Duo returned home at a quarter past four in the morning. His skin felt of Ethan: bruising on his hip and the prickling, risen hairs on his forearms. Before the apartment door he paused, waiting even longer than he had the previous night, before entering.
Heero was typing on the laptop Duo owned, and on seeing Duo he sped up, completing his work, and ejected a disk.
"Hey," Duo said, walking across the living room.
Heero nodded his greeting.
As Duo showered, washing away all physical traces of Ethan, he thought.
He had used to imagine what would happen if Heero ever found him and arrived on his doorstep. Now he had, and Duo was not reacting the way he had predicted he would. He had not jumped into Heero's arms, had not become forever happy and at peace because Heero was with him again. No - instead, he was continuing a relationship with another man and was more anxious than he had been before.
Why? he asked himself. He regretted the question the moment it formed in his mind, closing his eyes and shaking his head as the water first began to rinse the suds from his skin. The answer came so fluently it seemed someone else was dictating it. He spoke, faltering.
"Because I don't know where things're gonna go with Heero, that's why." He sighed, scrubbed away the feel and smell of the club. "If I let him, Ethan'll…" Duo faded away. Ethan would take every opportunity Duo gave him. If Duo offered to see him outside of the club, Ethan would agree - immediately. If Duo wanted it to happen, Ethan would pack up Duo's things and move them to his own place. "Sure, I mean, he's probably…" Probably sleeping with other people, his mind completed. But only Duo's conscience minded; neither his head nor heart cared. Ethan gave him what he wanted.
"But Heero … I never know with Heero. He might leave again. Has before. He may not even want me this time. Just because he fucked me doesn't mean he's interested in a relationship."
Ethan was stable; Ethan would not uproot his life. Heero was unknown and unpredictable. Duo, his shower completed, cut the water, dried, dressed, unwound his hair from the knot he used to keep it from getting wet, and made his way back to the main room of the apartment.
Heero was not in the main room, he was in the kitchen pouring two mugs of coffee. Duo leaned against he counter and received his, holding it in two hands.
"Decaffeinated," Heero said.
Duo sipped his and then replied, "I don't have any."
"I went shopping."
"Aa." Duo shrugged and drank.
Heero broke the silence first. What a rarity, Duo thought, and the other spoke: "I'll sleep on the couch again tonight."
"Heero -" Duo spoke, and then paused. He felt words desperate to come out of him. He noticed, started to fight it, and they came. The words tumbled from him, falling from his mouth. He watched his coffee mug.
"You didn't spend the night on the couch, Heero, we both did. I know you don't want to talk about it but we need to. I always was the talker, you know. I'll start.
"I have a life, Heero. It's not perfect, and you probably don't even understand it, but it's mine. I never had the chance to experience peace. I used to wonder what it was like, during the war. Yeah. Anyway. I want to try out this peace thing, and to be in charge of my life for a change. I want to understand where I'm going, and to stop accommodating and worrying. I don't … I…
"I'm not making any sense, am I?" Duo stopped.
Heero said nothing, and eventually Duo continued.
"I want to be happy. Really happy, Heero. I can - I can try and do it with you. But I need to know if … you're here. For good. I need to know if we're together again. I need to know you're in it for good and that you won't leave. I can't start until I know."
Duo closed his eyes, keeping his head bowed, and breathed. He was out of breath, and his heart was pounding. The silence now was very loud, interrupted only by the sounds he made.
Heero was as silent as the room. Eventually, when the lack of noise became overwhelming, Duo opened his eyes, looked up, and spoke.
"Heero?"
Soon, the second young man responded. "You're trying to simplify, Duo," he said. "You want an easy answer from me and I don't have one. I know no more than you do. Possibly less."
You don't even know Ethan's name, thought Duo.
"But I came. I want to try. I need to see if it can be done."
"If what can be done?" Duo asked.
"You and me. Us. After the war."
In the pause that followed the time on the microwave clock switched: 5 a.m. exactly. Duo read the time aloud and then looked back to Heero. He had not been given the answer he wanted, but there was nothing he could do. Duo smiled a grim smile and then said, "Tonight, we sleep in a bed."
by Juu-chan and Abandonment
Note: For all warnings, disclaimers, and notes, see Part One.
- - -
Part Four: The Club
- - -
Duo sat in the back of the cab, slumped, legs spread, resting his head against the window and looking out. As the cab drove it jumped and shook, vibrating and making Duo's head knock against the glass. He ignored it.
Heero had been left alone in the apartment again. His meager belongings and the new clothing were unpacked and he had been given a tour of the space. Both of them had eaten a meal - dinner, or something similar; Duo no longer gave his meals names due to his odd hours. Duo was sure Heero would be fine alone with Duo's laptop and what little he had brought. It was not Heero that Duo was concerned for and thinking about - it was himself.
The taxi slowed to a stop just down the street from the dance club Duo worked at. The American jumped out, paid the driver, and walked up to the back entrance. He entered, taking one look back over his shoulder at the city. This night would be as long as the one before.
The first few hours passed without issue.
Duo's job at the club was not fixed. He was strong enough to fill in for a sick bouncer (although not as dominating as his employers would have liked). He had sharp eyes to watch out for those who threatened to cause trouble. He moved easily through crowds, a talent that was very useful at the club. He could work decks and had a strong group of followers that loved his heavy-beat, dark mixes. The only position that Duo officially held was that of a dancer.
They loved to watch him dance, many came to see him dance, and he loved to dance for them. On the floor and on his platform, Duo's natural grace gave him the ability and freedom to manipulate his body, his long limbs, his expression, and even his meter-length of hair. He twisted, turned, swung his head, gyrated his slim hips. Alone or with a partner, he became the dance. Changing colors, flashing lights reflected on leather, glitter, sweat, pounding beats, heavy loud melodies that rang in the ear, exhaustion, adrenaline - he loved it all.
He worked there because he could dance. The owners loved it - on the nights he worked the house was packed. And Duo loved it. He used it to escape from, to forget, who he was. On this night he also used it to escape who Heero was.
He was dancing, just after one in the morning, when Ethan found him.
Ethan pushed his way through the crowd until he came to the place where Duo was. He then reached out and grabbed the arm of the girl closest to Duo. He ripped her away and shoved her to the side. Duo continued to dance, eyes narrow slits as he moved, and Ethan took the place now vacated.
The song was not very hard and not very loud, but as Duo and Ethan danced it began to pound. The onlookers called. Their bodies locked together, rubbed against each other, pulled apart and crushed together. And then Ethan's hand found Duo's braid and his fingers broke the band: a sudden flurry of chestnut hair, reflecting a rainbow of light. The young men were hidden beneath it before Duo slid down, body pressed to Ethan's leg, until his hair was layered on the floor. He said Ethan's name, moaned beneath the music. The second boy grabbed a handful of hair and pulled Duo to stand. Their mouths met with a bruising violence and the others around them let out a collective call at the display. Soon they danced again, Duo's hair the flight of a thousand birds as they moved. They kept going until both were gasping for air.
Ethan then pulled Duo off the floor, pushing through the crowd. He ordered drinks from the bartender, then grabbed a stool and pushed Duo into his lap. Both ignored the looks they received; they had grown accustomed to them.
"Hey, sweetheart," Ethan said after regaining his breath. He nuzzled Duo's neck and then teased Duo's earlobe with his tongue. "How has your night been?"
"Not bad," Duo said, reaching for his drink the bartender had delivered to the counter.
"Better now that I'm here?" Ethan asked, and then laughed.
Duo downed his drink and another was placed down for him. This drink he sipped, legs wrapped around the other male and body leaning forward. Ethan talked and kissed the bare skin underneath Duo's open metallic-violet vest while Duo enjoyed his break. Soon he would be back at work, but for now his employers would allow him to do what he wanted.
He would be given another break later in the evening, and on this night, like many others, Ethan would occupy his time.
It was always the same on the nights Ethan showed up. They danced together and then stopped for a drink before Duo returned to his job and Ethan returned to the dance floor; after a few hours passed Ethan pulled Duo away from the club, backstage to the employees' changing rooms; they would emerge later, sedated. The pattern had not changed from their first time together, but Duo did not mind. He found comfort in the predictable routine. Ethan was protective, edging on territorial, and Duo felt secure being wanted and guarded. And the sex was wonderful: unlike their routine it changed constantly and never once did it leave Duo wanting more.
And yet he had wanted Heero the previous night, with the scent of Ethan still on his skin.
"You're quiet tonight, pet," Ethan said, interrupting Duo's thoughts.
"I hate that nickname," Duo replied as Ethan took to his drink.
Ethan swallowed and laughed. "I know you do. But you /are/ my little pet, so just get used to it."
"Only yours?" Duo looked away from Ethan as he asked the question, watching instead those on the dance floor.
"Damn right."
No - Duo knew that Ethan could never find out Heero was in town, much less that they were living - and sleeping - together. He knew he was in deep and he knew there was no way to escape unscathed. Shit, he thought, something's gonna have to change.
The night, already a new day, continued as Duo had known it would. After rebraiding his hair, he went back to work and earned his pay. Before he left Ethan found him again and for a while, Duo was able to forget his dilemma.
For the moment, he had been free from Heero.
- - -
Duo returned home at a quarter past four in the morning. His skin felt of Ethan: bruising on his hip and the prickling, risen hairs on his forearms. Before the apartment door he paused, waiting even longer than he had the previous night, before entering.
Heero was typing on the laptop Duo owned, and on seeing Duo he sped up, completing his work, and ejected a disk.
"Hey," Duo said, walking across the living room.
Heero nodded his greeting.
As Duo showered, washing away all physical traces of Ethan, he thought.
He had used to imagine what would happen if Heero ever found him and arrived on his doorstep. Now he had, and Duo was not reacting the way he had predicted he would. He had not jumped into Heero's arms, had not become forever happy and at peace because Heero was with him again. No - instead, he was continuing a relationship with another man and was more anxious than he had been before.
Why? he asked himself. He regretted the question the moment it formed in his mind, closing his eyes and shaking his head as the water first began to rinse the suds from his skin. The answer came so fluently it seemed someone else was dictating it. He spoke, faltering.
"Because I don't know where things're gonna go with Heero, that's why." He sighed, scrubbed away the feel and smell of the club. "If I let him, Ethan'll…" Duo faded away. Ethan would take every opportunity Duo gave him. If Duo offered to see him outside of the club, Ethan would agree - immediately. If Duo wanted it to happen, Ethan would pack up Duo's things and move them to his own place. "Sure, I mean, he's probably…" Probably sleeping with other people, his mind completed. But only Duo's conscience minded; neither his head nor heart cared. Ethan gave him what he wanted.
"But Heero … I never know with Heero. He might leave again. Has before. He may not even want me this time. Just because he fucked me doesn't mean he's interested in a relationship."
Ethan was stable; Ethan would not uproot his life. Heero was unknown and unpredictable. Duo, his shower completed, cut the water, dried, dressed, unwound his hair from the knot he used to keep it from getting wet, and made his way back to the main room of the apartment.
Heero was not in the main room, he was in the kitchen pouring two mugs of coffee. Duo leaned against he counter and received his, holding it in two hands.
"Decaffeinated," Heero said.
Duo sipped his and then replied, "I don't have any."
"I went shopping."
"Aa." Duo shrugged and drank.
Heero broke the silence first. What a rarity, Duo thought, and the other spoke: "I'll sleep on the couch again tonight."
"Heero -" Duo spoke, and then paused. He felt words desperate to come out of him. He noticed, started to fight it, and they came. The words tumbled from him, falling from his mouth. He watched his coffee mug.
"You didn't spend the night on the couch, Heero, we both did. I know you don't want to talk about it but we need to. I always was the talker, you know. I'll start.
"I have a life, Heero. It's not perfect, and you probably don't even understand it, but it's mine. I never had the chance to experience peace. I used to wonder what it was like, during the war. Yeah. Anyway. I want to try out this peace thing, and to be in charge of my life for a change. I want to understand where I'm going, and to stop accommodating and worrying. I don't … I…
"I'm not making any sense, am I?" Duo stopped.
Heero said nothing, and eventually Duo continued.
"I want to be happy. Really happy, Heero. I can - I can try and do it with you. But I need to know if … you're here. For good. I need to know if we're together again. I need to know you're in it for good and that you won't leave. I can't start until I know."
Duo closed his eyes, keeping his head bowed, and breathed. He was out of breath, and his heart was pounding. The silence now was very loud, interrupted only by the sounds he made.
Heero was as silent as the room. Eventually, when the lack of noise became overwhelming, Duo opened his eyes, looked up, and spoke.
"Heero?"
Soon, the second young man responded. "You're trying to simplify, Duo," he said. "You want an easy answer from me and I don't have one. I know no more than you do. Possibly less."
You don't even know Ethan's name, thought Duo.
"But I came. I want to try. I need to see if it can be done."
"If what can be done?" Duo asked.
"You and me. Us. After the war."
In the pause that followed the time on the microwave clock switched: 5 a.m. exactly. Duo read the time aloud and then looked back to Heero. He had not been given the answer he wanted, but there was nothing he could do. Duo smiled a grim smile and then said, "Tonight, we sleep in a bed."
