Running Smooth
by Juu-chan and Abandonment

Note: For all warnings, disclaimers, and notes, see Part One.

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Part Seven: The Call

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Heero did not move from the table until a good deal of time had passed. During that time he did not fidget, he did not drink his coffee, he barely blinked. At first he sat, frozen, stunned, his mind blank. Then he recovered and sat, motionless, thinking.

The situation had turned on him with a speed he could not follow. It had begun with him in control. When Duo's temper had broken he had gained control. He had removed the responsibility and blame from himself and placed it on Heero. Heero did not completely understand how Duo had done this, a fact that irritated him. What bothered him more, however, was an emotion. When he had failed a mission he had felt it, but never this greatly - shame.

Heero tried not to think about it.

His brain worked, interpreting what Duo had said - to give assurance and proof that a relationship with Heero would be worthwhile - literally: it was a mission. He would complete it. Now, he needed to decide how.

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"Hello, Winner-Barton residence."

"Quatre?"

"Yes. Who is this, please?"

"Heero."

Quatre's demeanor changed immediately. "Heero!" he said. "I'm sorry I didn't recognize your voice - it's been so long. Why is the screen off?"

"Duo turned it off when he used the phone last."

"Would you turn it on?" Quatre asked. "I want to see how you look."

Heero did, and then Quatre chattered about his appearance and how he had changed. Then he began to question: "How have you been? You're still at Duo's house? Will you be coming to the reunion?"

Heero did not answer Quatre's questions; he went immediately to the point, the reason he had called. "Duo and I are having problems and I need your help."

There was a silence at the other end of the line and Quatre stared at him over the view screen.

Heero waited until Quatre spoke again.

"Tell me the story," he said.

And so Heero did - most of it. He did not mention his early suspicions about Duo's behavior. He said little about the club, and very little about Ethan. He did not mention that it had been two days since the conversation with Duo and not a word had passed between them. He did not say that he had seen Duo and Ethan retreat backstage the previous night. But the story was told, all that Heero believed important, in his usual brief and frank style.

Afterwards, Quatre sighed. "Give me a moment to think," he said. Then they sat in silence, broken only by Quatre's murmurs and at one point, a question:

"Just what did Duo tell you to do?"

"To give him some assurance and proof that ending his relationship with Ethan and beginning again with me would be a wise choice," Heero paraphrased as his response.

Soon after, Quatre began to speak. "I see," he said. "You must be very angry and very hurt. I know that if Trowa was ever involved with someone else, I would be livid. And then to accuse you like that… But that's not the point.

Heero, before I say anything I need to know how committed you are. Duo's asking you for a lot. He wants everything you have to give him. Can you do that?"

"I don't know," said Heero.

"This is not the time to go cold and unemotional on me. Do you love him?"

"I don't know," said Heero again.

Quatre threw his hands in the air. "You're so exasperating," he said, sighing, "no wonder Duo blew up at you. I'll bet you don't even know what love is."

Heero spoke very clearly. "No, I don't."

Silence and blinking as Quatre stared at him. Then he laughed and said, "I should have known."

Heero waited while Quatre thought, and listened when he spoke.

"Love, Heero is something that is very difficult to explain. I'll try, though.

"When you're in love with someone you care for him, his welfare; you are protective and you want the best for him. It's self-sacrificing as well, because you will do what you can do to aid him, even if it's bad for you. But love is also selfish, despite what everyone says, because you demand something from the person you love - his commitment, his energy, and his love. You get jealous when he gives too much attention to others. You get lonely when he's gone for too long. They say that love is blind, and I guess that's also true. You're blind to some of his faults. But at the same time you're overly sensitive to others, like the fact that he repeats the same phrase over and over or that he always forgets to take the laundry out of the drier and it wrinkles. Some love fades. Some can last forever.

"But love can't really be explained. Not all of the signs are clear, no one can tell you you're in love. It's just something that you know. Something you say or feel just because it sounds right, feels right. If you feel something for Duo, if there's a sense of completion when he's there and loneliness when he's gone, if you want to protect him and have him, that may be love. But I can't tell you. Only you can know for sure."

When Quatre finished talking, Heero nodded. Yes, he thought, there is something. Love? He did not know.

During the end of the war, he had been very protective of Relena. He had often taken risks in order to protect her life. It had not been love. She was the world's only hope for peace, and so he had saved her and protected her. After the war, once she was safe, they had gone their separate ways. Now, they spoke infrequently.

He had been blind to the faults of Odin Lowe, Doctor J, and the other scientists, seeing them as effective, good teachers, not as controlling, maniacal, or crazy as Duo and the others had. That was also not love. Rather, it was appreciation for those who had educated him and his comrades.

Towards Duo he had felt everything that Quatre had mentioned: protectiveness, the want to give him the best, selective blindness, increased sensitivity, selfishness in wanting his attention, jealousy, completion with him, during the war, and loneliness when the war had ended and Heero was alone.

He could not sense the innate knowledge that he loved Duo. If it was there, he did not know. He told Quatre this and Quatre nodded.

"Personally, I think you love him," Quatre said. "I think you've loved him since the first time you met him. He shot you twice, right? Once in the arm, once in the leg. He didn't shoot to kill - it must have been love at first sight." Quatre laughed.

Heero sat waiting for Quatre to continue, unsure what part of his words Quatre had found so funny. He didn't get it.

When the giggling ended, Quatre became serious again. "I can't know for sure, only you can, but I believe that one day soon you'll know."

He paused, leaned towards the vidphone screen, and said, "I have a plan. Hear me out, then decide whether or not you want to do it."

Heero listened as Quatre told him his plan.