*** This is my new Matt and Lita series (also my first Matt and Lita series). It's a series of five song-fics. This one uses "Still Holding Out for You" by SheDaisy. I will probably just add the following stories on as chapters. I don't have any idea how fast I'll be cranking these babies out, but considering I have two papers I should be writing, I'm guessing they will be coming out fairly quickly ;-) So, FYI I don't own the WWF and none of this has ever happened (only in my brain). Please review! ***

// Never thought I'd be in this place
It's someone else's life I'm living //

"Why don't you just leave then?" Matt asked angrily. "If you're really so concerned that I'm cheating on you, why don't you just leave?"

"Maybe I should," Lita yelled, grabbing her backpack and jacket. "Maybe I will!"

Lita walked quickly down the halls of the arena. "Stupid ass," Lita muttered to herself, uncertain if she was referring to Matt or herself.

"Where you off to?" Jeff asked, loping behind his best friend.

"I'm giving you brother and myself some space," Lita muttered, not looking at Jeff.

"Why in the world would you guys need space?" Jeff asked.

"He apparently needs the alone time to mess around with Trish or Stacy or whoever," Lita said, none too quietly.

Jeff looked around at the other wrestlers. "You need to calm down Leet, you aren't acting like yourself."

// Wish I were living a lie //

"Don't you think I know that?" Lita asked, sitting down on some equipment. She held her head in her hands. "Don't you think I know I've turned into a suspicious lunatic where Matt is concerned?"

"So why don't you stop?" Jeff asked, sitting next to Lita.

"Because when I stop," Lita said, "he starts. Can you believe he actually accused me of having an affair with you?"

"You just accused him of having an affair with my girlfriend," Jeff commented quietly.

"I did?" Lita asked. She thought for a second. "Oh shit, I didn't mean that thing about Trish."

"I know," Jeff answered. "But you know, you should probably think about things a little more calmly for awhile."

"I wish I could," Lita said.

// The hardest part is when the bough breaks
Falling down and then forgiving
You didn't kiss me goodbye //

"Good luck Matt," Lita said softly as he walked by her. Matt turned and looked at her, his eyebrow raised in question.

"You're actually talking to me now?" Matt asked.

"Yeah," Lita said, ducking her head in embarrassment. "I'm sorry about earlier."

"Okay," Matt said. "Did you want to come down to the ring with me?"

"I've got to get ready for my match," Lita said, shaking her head.

"Cool," Matt said. "Good luck on that."

"Thanks," Lita said. He smiled at her and then turned away. Lita realized he hadn't touched her once. He used to not be able to keep his hands off of her. She wondered when that had changed and why she hadn't noticed.

// I'm choking on the words I didn't get to say
And pray I get the chance one-day //

"All I wanted to do was tell him that I love him," Lita cried as Trish hugged her.

"Sweetie," Trish comforted her friend. "He knows that you love him."

"Then how can he call me a whore?" Lita asked, sobbing again.

"He didn't mean it," Trish said. "You know how the guys in the locker room are. One of them probably wants to get into your pants and he sees that you and Matt are having trust issues, so they are taking advantage of that."

"Why are we having trust issues?" Lita asked.

"Maybe it's because you two have been together for about a year," Trish said. "A lot of relationships have a period like this after the initial courtship wears off."

"What if we don't get through it?" Lita asked helplessly.

// I still run
I still swing open the door //

"Matt!" Lita exclaimed, running to open her hotel room door after hearing the knock.

"Sorry Red," Chris Jericho said, "wish I could say I was the bonehead."

"What's up Jericho?" Lita asked.

"Just seeing how you were doing," Jericho shrugged. "Jeff and Trish said you and Matt had another blow-up today."

"Yeah," Lita said. "But what's new?"

"Are you thinking of giving up on him?" Jericho asked.

"I don't know," Lita sighed. "It's like he's not the same Matt anymore."

// I still think
You'll be there like before //

"What do you mean?" Jericho asked.

"I mean, when we started going out Matt was sweet and trusting and completely perfect for me," Lita said. "Now it seems like he takes me and what we have for granted."

"Maybe he feels like you're doing the same thing," Jericho said.

"Are you taking his side?" Lita asked.

"Lita, no!" Jericho exclaimed. "I'm just saying maybe you both are feeling some of the same things."

"Like maybe I've changed too?" Lita asked.

// Doesn't everybody out there
Know they never come around //

Lita paced her room for what seemed like an hour. She ordered a pizza and ended up eating the whole thing. She went back to pacing.

"I can't do this!" Lita exclaimed to herself. "I'm sick of worrying about him."

Lita decided she would just go to sleep. She wouldn't worry who he was with or what he was doing with them. Until she had proof staring her in the face that Matt was cheating on her, she wouldn't even think about that.

But she couldn't help but wonder where her boyfriend was at two in the morning.

// Some things a heart won't listen to
I'm still holding out for you //

Lita heard the door squeak open as Matt came back to their room at around three. She pretended to be asleep as Matt bumbled around the room in the dark. She heard something, probably his clothes hit the ground.

He climbed into the bed next to her. She could smell the alcohol and cigarettes on him. He had just been out at a bar, she thought. Probably with Edge. She smiled to herself, knowing she shouldn't have doubted him.

"How was your night?" she whispered.

"Shit Leet," Matt exclaimed. "You scared me."

"Sorry," Lita whispered. "I was worried about you. I was afraid I would get a call that you were lying dead in a gutter somewhere."

// I can hear your smile in the dark
I can even feel your breathing //

Lita could feel Matt silently chuckle. "I'm not out of your hair yet Fireball."

Lita smiled at the endearment only he used. "Thank God."

"Hey, I'm sorry about what I said earlier," Matt said. "I should know by now not to listen to some of the assholes in the locker room."

"Thank you," Lita said, taking Matt's hand in hers. He gently squeezed her hand in his. "I love you Matt."

"I love you too," Matt replied, pulling her close.

// The daylight chases the ghosts //

"Why won't you trust me?" Matt asked. "What have I fucking done to get you to question every little thing that I do?"

"You stare at Stacy every time she passes," Lita said, "hell, you even seem to be leering after Stephanie these days!"

"Don't be freaking crazy!" Matt said. "I never knew you were so possessive!"

"I never knew you were such an ass!" Lita replied.

"I can't look at you right now," Matt said, storming out of their dressing room.

// I see your coat and I fall apart
To those hints of you I'm clinging
Now's when I need you most //

"It's really over isn't it?" Lita asked Jeff. "He really wants out, doesn't he?"

"I don't know Lita," Jeff said, packing Matt's things, like his brother had asked him to do. "I really couldn't say."

Lita picked up the shirt Matt had worn to the arena. It was the shirt he had worn that first night he had kissed her. The best night of her life.

"Oh my God," Lita sobbed. "I don't care if he's cheated on me. I don't need to know. I just need him."

"Lita," Jeff said helplessly. "Don't talk like that."

"You just don't know what it's like to be desperately in love Jeff," Lita said.

// I should get up
Dry my eyes and move ahead
At least that's what you would have said //

Lita looked in the mirror at her face. She was dismayed to see the mascara streaked down her face. "What would the world think if it could see you now?" Lita asked her reflection. "What would Matt think?"

Lita grabbed a tissue and cleaned up her face. She rubbed some water under her eyes, hoping to get rid of some of the puffiness. She tried to smile at herself and she failed miserably.

"I've just got to get out of here," Lita said brokenly. "Without seeing Matt."

// I still run
I still swing open the door //

"Hey," Matt said when Lita opened the door to her hotel room.

"Hey yourself," Lita said, leaning against the door. "Did you forget we weren't rooming together anymore?"

"I know we aren't Lita," Matt sighed. "I wondered if you wanted to go out to lunch with me. Maybe we could talk without things blowing up again."

"Yeah?" Lita asked.

"Yeah," Matt said. "Grab a jacket. It's chilly outside."

"Okay," Lita said, smiling for the first time in days.

// I still think
You'll be there like before //

"I'll have an iced tea," Matt said to the waitress, "and she will have a diet coke."

"I'll be right back," the waitress said.

"How have you been doing?" Lita asked, trying to sound casual.

"I've been better," Matt said. "I've been trying to figure out when we decided to try and hurt each other all the time. How about you?"

"I've been miserable," Lita said. "Trying to figure out the same stuff."

"Any conclusions?" Matt asked.

"None yet," Lita said.

"Same here," Matt said.

// Doesn't everybody out there
Know they never come around //

Matt placed his hand over Lita's on the table. She looked down at his hand and silently wondered how many women he had touched with those hands. How many women he held and professed to love. She looked into his eyes and realized she didn't care.

She turned her hand over and clasped his. Their fingers intertwined. Lita felt so comfortable at that moment it was easy to forget how often she felt hurt and lonely. She felt peaceful in that moment and it made up for everything.

"We need more moments like this," Lita whispered.

"Let's make a deal," Matt said. "For every time we fight, we have two moments like this."

"Sounds like a plan," Lita agreed.

// Some things a heart won't listen to
I'm still holding out for you //

"Matt's so sexy," some girl giggled as she walked by the Team Xtreme dressing room. "I hear he has no trouble keeping Lita clueless to his extracurricular activities."

Matt's head swung toward the door in horror. He then turned toward Lita. Her face looked pale. She looked at him and then smiled bravely.

"You okay?" Matt asked her.

"What do some girls know about us?" Lita asked, ignoring a horrible sinking feeling in her chest.

"You're the best Leet," Matt said, reaching over to caress her cheek.

// Faithfully I trace your name while you sleep
It's the only true comfort I feel //

"I love you," Lita whispered as Matt pulled her closer to him in the dark. "I never want to lose you."

Matt began to stroke her back in a way that made her feel drowsy. "Never," she whispered again.

"I won't let you lose me Leet," Matt whispered. "I love you too."

"I'm so glad," Lita said before falling off to sleep.

"Me too," Matt whispered to no one in particular.

// I still run
I still swing open the door //

"You hear about all of his shit and you still trust him?" Trish asked.

"You just have to get used to it Trish," Lita shrugged. "I mean, Matt's famous and people don't want us together."

"You're sure he loves you?" Trish asked.

"Of course I am," Lita said.

"Well, I'm glad for you," Trish said. "I'll talk to you later Lita."

// I still think
You'll be there like before //

"Am I fool?" Lita asked Jericho, begging him to be honest with her.

"Lita," Jericho whined. "Don't put me on the spot like that!"

"Why not?" Lita asked.

"Because I'm both of you guys' friends," Jericho said.

"Then tell me how to get the old Matt back," Lita exclaimed. Jericho looked at her helplessly.

// Doesn't everybody out there
Know they never come around //

Lita heard Matt come in late again. She decided she didn't want to make any problems so late at night. She let him settle next to her at bed.

She would ask him where he had been in the morning. She would ask him what had happened to the man she had loved too. But not now, she just couldn't ask now.

// Some things a heart won't listen to
I'm still holding out for you //