Disclaimer: They aren't mine
Throughout my life I had lost a lot of people who meant the world to me. It was natural I guess, I was a street rat living on a dump of a colony and I was only a child. First were my parents. I'm sure they died, or at least they're dead now. I couldn't remember them; the only thing I could remember about my life was being on the streets. Second was my best friend Solo. He had died from a disease that was easily cured, but the cure was impossible for us street rats to get. Third and fourth were Father Maxwell and Sister Helen, who I had tried to protect but was under the wrong impression. I killed them. I killed them all.
I thought that everyone I would come in contact with would die, so I stayed away from people. It wasn't that hard to do actually now that I think about it. They all knew me from the "Maxwell Massacre" where I had taken my last name from. I was the only one to survive so people basically left me alone. Sure, I got plenty of stares and heard a lot of whispering but I was able to ignore it.
When I became a Gundam pilot I was willing to fight to the death, be it my own or the enemies, whichever came first. After winning and never dying, but seeing so much death something in my head told me that I wasn't to die, and it made perfect sense. While on the streets, why didn't I contract the disease that killed so many of my friends? I mean, I was around the sick, dying or dead all the time, why didn't I die too? Then I was the only survivor from the massacre. Why hadn't I died with my Gundam yet? I mean, the damned thing wouldn't even let me self detonate! I couldn't die. The day I thought of that, is the day I became the God of Death.
And I stayed the God of Death until the end. War was upon us and I fought, using my Deathscythe, perfectly named by the way. I fought so other people didn't have to. I was a worthless street rat, but one with a gift, if immortality was a gift. To some I'm sure it's a curse. For a long time I fought thinking I was the only one.
Then I met him.
At first we were enemies. I was trying to protect this girl - Relena Peacecraft - which he was trying to kill. Then, as a nice gesture I gave him help with his mecha and the bastard went and stole my Deathscythe's part for his Wing. Even when we met the other pilots, Trowa, Quatre, Wufei, at first we were still like enemies. I'm sure the only reason Heero Yuy didn't kill me was because I was a value to the war, a Gundam pilot trained to fight for the same cause that he had been trained for.
Somehow, and I mean somehow, because I don't know exactly how or when for that matter, we became friends. I thought I had been the only one to get through to him, and to me, a nothing, it made me feel special. Trowa had Quatre, Wufei had his Gundam and I had Heero. At least, that's what I thought.
As the five of us grew closer, working together eventually for a lot of missions, we learned about each other. Wufei and Trowa eventually got together and I've never been able to figure out which one is uke and which one is seme. I bet they fought about it every time they wanted to have sex. Could you imagine Trowa Barton, Mr. Silent Clown whining, "But I wanna be the top!" And Chang Wufei, Mr. Stick up the Ass whining back, "But it's my turn!" That thought makes me laugh every time I think about it.
Heero was like my best friend so he and I were together a lot and I liked that. I had fallen in love with him and always wanted to be with him. And Quatre.well, he was everyone's friend. I'd never seen the two of them even talk about sex or having a significant other or even kissing for that matter at all. So be it my surprise when I come in from a mission whistling innocently as I went through the house looking for something to eat. The fridge had been emptied because the others had been waiting for me to get back so we could move to a different location. Our Gundams needed to be fueled and fixed, and since we had no supplies we had to move.
I figured Heero had stored the food in his room or something so I went up to check. Well, there's no arguing that Quatre is definitely the bottom in that relationship. I don't know how long I watched or how long it took them to realize I was there but what I had seen was enough, I felt like gagging as they both declared their love for one another. Finally, since Quatre didn't have his back to me opened his eyes slightly and spotted me gapping. He gasped and swore, the little brat swore!
Heero heard him and then looked back at me. That's when I decided I'd seen enough live porn for awhile. I closed the door and ran back out of the safe house, passing a surprised Trowa and Wufei on my way out. I think I yelled something about leaving Deathscythe on, (yeah, like they would have fallen for that anyway) as I passed. I had gone to Deathscythe and I had just sat in my Gundam trying not to think. Some people would argue that it wasn't hard for me not to think, but to tell you the truth, I was always thinking.
I think it was about an hour later that the others had come out of the safe house and had gotten into their own Gundams so we could take off and get to the new location. Nobody said anything over the system and I wondered if Trowa and Wufei had known about Heero and Quatre or that the two had told Trowa and Wufei because of me. I silently hoped that it was the latter and that both Trowa and Wufei were against the two of them being together. I know, I know, selfish, but so what? I was in love with Heero, and the main reason for me not telling him was because I hadn't known what his reaction would have been.
As we traveled to our destination I desperately hoped that they had been having sex because they had both needed someone. But then I remembered hearing the whispered words to each other. I had never heard Heero's voice so soft, so gentle.so soothing. Damn it! Why couldn't it be me under him, telling him, confessing to him how much that I loved him?
I think it was my fault that we got caught, but I can't recollect too much. We were attacked and since our Gundams weren't functioning properly we were easily overtaken. The five of us were taken prisoner and as soon as they returned us to their base we were thrown into a cell. I know what you're thinking, why would they throw five Gundam pilots into one cell together? Well, they weren't planning on keeping all five of us there. I'll get to that in a bit.
Now, being in a cell with my four friends got pretty boring, but I couldn't bring myself to talk. Or even look up from my bound hands. It was Wufei who finally spoke up. "Why are you so quiet Maxwell? Usually you'd be yelling at them to let us go." He said from his position from beside Trowa.
I just shrugged, not feeling too talkative at the time.
"That's our fault." Quatre suddenly spoke up and I wanted to slap him to shut him up. He had stolen my Heero from me, sure he hadn't been mine, but he could have been! He had been the only friend and person I cared about that death hadn't touched! Sweet innocent Quatre, how I wanted to see your blood splattered all over the metal walls of the cell and my hands, how I wanted to cleanse myself in your spent tears.
"How so?" Wufei promoted. He seemed happy that there was now noise.
"Um." Quatre blushed and bowed his head, too embarrassed to go on. Good, I thought and was happy that he had shut up. His voice was like nails on a chock board. No, I would have rather listened to nails on a chock board.
"He walked in on Quatre and I having sex." Heero shrugged as if it were nothing. I would have cried there but boys don't cry after all. Don't you think that's a stupid saying? I think that I'd shed a tear if I accidentally, or not accidentally (depends on how suicidal I felt at the time) shot myself in the foot. (Suicidal, yeah right, let's say the gun slipped).
"Is that all?" Trowa wondered as if he had done so at one time or another and I suddenly wondered if he had.
"Listen Duo, I'm sorry if we embarrassed you." Quatre spoke up again and I visibly cringed at his words. No, at his voice.
Heero saw this and glared at me. "Duo, Quatre and I have been together since the beginning of the war. At first it was just because we were lonely but then it grew into more. I'm sorry if this offends you, but that's the way things are." His voice was nothing like it had been when he had been talking to Quatre back at the safe house. I wanted that voice back, even if it wasn't meant for me.
I forced a smile, it was forced, it had to be. "It's doesn't offend me. Don't worry Hee-chan." I suddenly realized that it probably wasn't right for me to call him that anymore. "Oh, sorry, I guess I can't call you that anymore. Gomen." I said softly.
Both Heero and Quatre seemed to relax and I think Heero actually smiled. It was kinda dark in the cell so I couldn't be sure. "You can call me that anytime you want to Duo." His voice was soft again, not as soft as he had used before, but softer.
There were two guards and yes, they were OZ. It was easily to see from their uniforms. They got bored almost as fast as we did. This is where I get to the part where they weren't planning on keeping us all in the same cell. Turns out they wanted something to play with.
We listened, I mean they were talking pretty loud and we were really quiet so we heard it all. One of the guys kept mentioning how horny he was and how he wanted to get his hands on the 'one with the funny hair'. Wufei had leaned closer to Trowa and I smiled to myself, they really cared for each other. The other one, he was the taller and fatter of the two. He agreed that he also wanted some 'ass to fuck' and that the 'blonde one would be an easy target'. Heero had done nothing except turn to look at Quatre. Quatre had done nothing as well and just stared at his restraints.
We listened to them give a detailed description of what they wanted to do to both Trowa and Quatre. So we sat in silence, starting from my right, it was Heero, Quatre, Wufei then Trowa and me on the outside. It was deathly silent in the room and it had gotten kinda cold. Finally, we heard them say that they should just pick a number, you know, 01, 02, 03, 04 or 05.
So while picking numbers from their asses they both decided that four sounded like a nice number - as in pilot 04.
My world was looking a lot brighter suddenly. I know that's a really bad thought, considering that Quatre was, or had been a really good friend of mine. But I couldn't help it; I wanted Heero all to myself. Until I looked at his face.
Nobody had said anything or done anything when they had asked for pilot 04. Heero, even though he was the perfect soldier, couldn't hide the fear and turmoil battling in his beautiful eyes as he gazed calmly at the blonde Arabian beside him. He had been looking at Quatre to begin with so they hadn't thought it suspicious.
As I watched, they made the four of them stand. I automatically stood as well, not wanting to be hit, as I stood up I remembered all the times I had come close to death but had always made it through. Suddenly, I knew what I was living for. I didn't like it, but as long as Heero was happy.
"Well? Which one of you is pilot 04? If you don't speak up now we'll take the blonde." The tall man, who almost had to lean forward to fit in the cell demanded while eyeing the very small blonde.
Quatre looked up, "But-" He was cut off before he could tell them that he really /was/ pilot 04.
Suddenly someone said, "I am pilot 04." My own voice surprised me. Everyone looked at me and I was regretting saying anything. Quatre looked the most surprised and I saw that he had his hand holding his chest, over his heart and I knew that he knew how I had been feeling, his reason for being quiet. I only smirked at him then looked at the soldiers.
"You're pilot 04?" They looked at me as if they didn't believe me.
"In a nutshell." I shrugged. "I may run and hide, but I never lie." Well.maybe sometimes. Not to people who mattered anyway.
The shorter guard grabbed me and led me out of the cell. I knew my fate would be death, but I think my death was worth it. After all, if I directly couldn't make Heero happy then I could at least save the person who did, right?
Before leaving the cell I looked back at the others whom still looked at me with surprised expressions, except the real pilot 04. He understood why I was doing this. I looked at Heero. "I've loved you for a long time, but I lost my chance. I'll love you forever." My voice was soft.
I was led out of the cell and the door was slammed behind me.
So I would finally meet death. You know something? I was all right with that. Heero knew how I felt about him, and now I could die a happy death. Well.so to speak I suppose. My heart felt a lot lighter in my chest actually and even after those bastards manipulated me I kept my head high.
There was a gun being pointed to me head. So, this was the end. Cool. I had told Heero how I had felt. I loved him more than life itself. Hey, Duo Maxwell almost always never lies.
Throughout my life I had lost a lot of people who meant the world to me. It was natural I guess, I was a street rat living on a dump of a colony and I was only a child. First were my parents. I'm sure they died, or at least they're dead now. I couldn't remember them; the only thing I could remember about my life was being on the streets. Second was my best friend Solo. He had died from a disease that was easily cured, but the cure was impossible for us street rats to get. Third and fourth were Father Maxwell and Sister Helen, who I had tried to protect but was under the wrong impression. I killed them. I killed them all.
I thought that everyone I would come in contact with would die, so I stayed away from people. It wasn't that hard to do actually now that I think about it. They all knew me from the "Maxwell Massacre" where I had taken my last name from. I was the only one to survive so people basically left me alone. Sure, I got plenty of stares and heard a lot of whispering but I was able to ignore it.
When I became a Gundam pilot I was willing to fight to the death, be it my own or the enemies, whichever came first. After winning and never dying, but seeing so much death something in my head told me that I wasn't to die, and it made perfect sense. While on the streets, why didn't I contract the disease that killed so many of my friends? I mean, I was around the sick, dying or dead all the time, why didn't I die too? Then I was the only survivor from the massacre. Why hadn't I died with my Gundam yet? I mean, the damned thing wouldn't even let me self detonate! I couldn't die. The day I thought of that, is the day I became the God of Death.
And I stayed the God of Death until the end. War was upon us and I fought, using my Deathscythe, perfectly named by the way. I fought so other people didn't have to. I was a worthless street rat, but one with a gift, if immortality was a gift. To some I'm sure it's a curse. For a long time I fought thinking I was the only one.
Then I met him.
At first we were enemies. I was trying to protect this girl - Relena Peacecraft - which he was trying to kill. Then, as a nice gesture I gave him help with his mecha and the bastard went and stole my Deathscythe's part for his Wing. Even when we met the other pilots, Trowa, Quatre, Wufei, at first we were still like enemies. I'm sure the only reason Heero Yuy didn't kill me was because I was a value to the war, a Gundam pilot trained to fight for the same cause that he had been trained for.
Somehow, and I mean somehow, because I don't know exactly how or when for that matter, we became friends. I thought I had been the only one to get through to him, and to me, a nothing, it made me feel special. Trowa had Quatre, Wufei had his Gundam and I had Heero. At least, that's what I thought.
As the five of us grew closer, working together eventually for a lot of missions, we learned about each other. Wufei and Trowa eventually got together and I've never been able to figure out which one is uke and which one is seme. I bet they fought about it every time they wanted to have sex. Could you imagine Trowa Barton, Mr. Silent Clown whining, "But I wanna be the top!" And Chang Wufei, Mr. Stick up the Ass whining back, "But it's my turn!" That thought makes me laugh every time I think about it.
Heero was like my best friend so he and I were together a lot and I liked that. I had fallen in love with him and always wanted to be with him. And Quatre.well, he was everyone's friend. I'd never seen the two of them even talk about sex or having a significant other or even kissing for that matter at all. So be it my surprise when I come in from a mission whistling innocently as I went through the house looking for something to eat. The fridge had been emptied because the others had been waiting for me to get back so we could move to a different location. Our Gundams needed to be fueled and fixed, and since we had no supplies we had to move.
I figured Heero had stored the food in his room or something so I went up to check. Well, there's no arguing that Quatre is definitely the bottom in that relationship. I don't know how long I watched or how long it took them to realize I was there but what I had seen was enough, I felt like gagging as they both declared their love for one another. Finally, since Quatre didn't have his back to me opened his eyes slightly and spotted me gapping. He gasped and swore, the little brat swore!
Heero heard him and then looked back at me. That's when I decided I'd seen enough live porn for awhile. I closed the door and ran back out of the safe house, passing a surprised Trowa and Wufei on my way out. I think I yelled something about leaving Deathscythe on, (yeah, like they would have fallen for that anyway) as I passed. I had gone to Deathscythe and I had just sat in my Gundam trying not to think. Some people would argue that it wasn't hard for me not to think, but to tell you the truth, I was always thinking.
I think it was about an hour later that the others had come out of the safe house and had gotten into their own Gundams so we could take off and get to the new location. Nobody said anything over the system and I wondered if Trowa and Wufei had known about Heero and Quatre or that the two had told Trowa and Wufei because of me. I silently hoped that it was the latter and that both Trowa and Wufei were against the two of them being together. I know, I know, selfish, but so what? I was in love with Heero, and the main reason for me not telling him was because I hadn't known what his reaction would have been.
As we traveled to our destination I desperately hoped that they had been having sex because they had both needed someone. But then I remembered hearing the whispered words to each other. I had never heard Heero's voice so soft, so gentle.so soothing. Damn it! Why couldn't it be me under him, telling him, confessing to him how much that I loved him?
I think it was my fault that we got caught, but I can't recollect too much. We were attacked and since our Gundams weren't functioning properly we were easily overtaken. The five of us were taken prisoner and as soon as they returned us to their base we were thrown into a cell. I know what you're thinking, why would they throw five Gundam pilots into one cell together? Well, they weren't planning on keeping all five of us there. I'll get to that in a bit.
Now, being in a cell with my four friends got pretty boring, but I couldn't bring myself to talk. Or even look up from my bound hands. It was Wufei who finally spoke up. "Why are you so quiet Maxwell? Usually you'd be yelling at them to let us go." He said from his position from beside Trowa.
I just shrugged, not feeling too talkative at the time.
"That's our fault." Quatre suddenly spoke up and I wanted to slap him to shut him up. He had stolen my Heero from me, sure he hadn't been mine, but he could have been! He had been the only friend and person I cared about that death hadn't touched! Sweet innocent Quatre, how I wanted to see your blood splattered all over the metal walls of the cell and my hands, how I wanted to cleanse myself in your spent tears.
"How so?" Wufei promoted. He seemed happy that there was now noise.
"Um." Quatre blushed and bowed his head, too embarrassed to go on. Good, I thought and was happy that he had shut up. His voice was like nails on a chock board. No, I would have rather listened to nails on a chock board.
"He walked in on Quatre and I having sex." Heero shrugged as if it were nothing. I would have cried there but boys don't cry after all. Don't you think that's a stupid saying? I think that I'd shed a tear if I accidentally, or not accidentally (depends on how suicidal I felt at the time) shot myself in the foot. (Suicidal, yeah right, let's say the gun slipped).
"Is that all?" Trowa wondered as if he had done so at one time or another and I suddenly wondered if he had.
"Listen Duo, I'm sorry if we embarrassed you." Quatre spoke up again and I visibly cringed at his words. No, at his voice.
Heero saw this and glared at me. "Duo, Quatre and I have been together since the beginning of the war. At first it was just because we were lonely but then it grew into more. I'm sorry if this offends you, but that's the way things are." His voice was nothing like it had been when he had been talking to Quatre back at the safe house. I wanted that voice back, even if it wasn't meant for me.
I forced a smile, it was forced, it had to be. "It's doesn't offend me. Don't worry Hee-chan." I suddenly realized that it probably wasn't right for me to call him that anymore. "Oh, sorry, I guess I can't call you that anymore. Gomen." I said softly.
Both Heero and Quatre seemed to relax and I think Heero actually smiled. It was kinda dark in the cell so I couldn't be sure. "You can call me that anytime you want to Duo." His voice was soft again, not as soft as he had used before, but softer.
There were two guards and yes, they were OZ. It was easily to see from their uniforms. They got bored almost as fast as we did. This is where I get to the part where they weren't planning on keeping us all in the same cell. Turns out they wanted something to play with.
We listened, I mean they were talking pretty loud and we were really quiet so we heard it all. One of the guys kept mentioning how horny he was and how he wanted to get his hands on the 'one with the funny hair'. Wufei had leaned closer to Trowa and I smiled to myself, they really cared for each other. The other one, he was the taller and fatter of the two. He agreed that he also wanted some 'ass to fuck' and that the 'blonde one would be an easy target'. Heero had done nothing except turn to look at Quatre. Quatre had done nothing as well and just stared at his restraints.
We listened to them give a detailed description of what they wanted to do to both Trowa and Quatre. So we sat in silence, starting from my right, it was Heero, Quatre, Wufei then Trowa and me on the outside. It was deathly silent in the room and it had gotten kinda cold. Finally, we heard them say that they should just pick a number, you know, 01, 02, 03, 04 or 05.
So while picking numbers from their asses they both decided that four sounded like a nice number - as in pilot 04.
My world was looking a lot brighter suddenly. I know that's a really bad thought, considering that Quatre was, or had been a really good friend of mine. But I couldn't help it; I wanted Heero all to myself. Until I looked at his face.
Nobody had said anything or done anything when they had asked for pilot 04. Heero, even though he was the perfect soldier, couldn't hide the fear and turmoil battling in his beautiful eyes as he gazed calmly at the blonde Arabian beside him. He had been looking at Quatre to begin with so they hadn't thought it suspicious.
As I watched, they made the four of them stand. I automatically stood as well, not wanting to be hit, as I stood up I remembered all the times I had come close to death but had always made it through. Suddenly, I knew what I was living for. I didn't like it, but as long as Heero was happy.
"Well? Which one of you is pilot 04? If you don't speak up now we'll take the blonde." The tall man, who almost had to lean forward to fit in the cell demanded while eyeing the very small blonde.
Quatre looked up, "But-" He was cut off before he could tell them that he really /was/ pilot 04.
Suddenly someone said, "I am pilot 04." My own voice surprised me. Everyone looked at me and I was regretting saying anything. Quatre looked the most surprised and I saw that he had his hand holding his chest, over his heart and I knew that he knew how I had been feeling, his reason for being quiet. I only smirked at him then looked at the soldiers.
"You're pilot 04?" They looked at me as if they didn't believe me.
"In a nutshell." I shrugged. "I may run and hide, but I never lie." Well.maybe sometimes. Not to people who mattered anyway.
The shorter guard grabbed me and led me out of the cell. I knew my fate would be death, but I think my death was worth it. After all, if I directly couldn't make Heero happy then I could at least save the person who did, right?
Before leaving the cell I looked back at the others whom still looked at me with surprised expressions, except the real pilot 04. He understood why I was doing this. I looked at Heero. "I've loved you for a long time, but I lost my chance. I'll love you forever." My voice was soft.
I was led out of the cell and the door was slammed behind me.
So I would finally meet death. You know something? I was all right with that. Heero knew how I felt about him, and now I could die a happy death. Well.so to speak I suppose. My heart felt a lot lighter in my chest actually and even after those bastards manipulated me I kept my head high.
There was a gun being pointed to me head. So, this was the end. Cool. I had told Heero how I had felt. I loved him more than life itself. Hey, Duo Maxwell almost always never lies.
