"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, King Mokeleumbembe and his lovely first wife, Saratinqua," the practiced medicine man pulled back the leather flap and a tall, elegantly robed African man and women emerged

A/N: Hey guys! I'm here again with my crazy story… I know, Dave as a nerd! I have to admit that I find the idea rather charming… in this story he's quite the opposite of our 'normal ER Dave,' but hang in there, you'll be rewarded in the end. ;) Love you guys! And I mean it!

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, King Mokeleumbembe and his lovely first wife, Saratinqua," the practiced medicine man pulled back the leather flap and a tall, elegantly robed African man and woman emerged. The chief glanced about sternly while the queen merely entwined her arm with his.

Dave's jaw nearly dropped to the floor. He'd never seen a woman more exotically beautiful. Elizabeth caught Mark staring, also, and elbowed him.

"I am Chief Mokeleumbembe, however, many of your kind refer to me as Sir Peter Benton, after a ruthless warrior king of the North, I am told."

"Yes, that would be correct," Mark extended his hand. "Mark Greene. And this is my wife, Elizabeth."

Elizabeth curtsied and held up her hand, which Sir Peter Benton took in his own and kissed. "My lady, you have the elegance of a queen." Elizabeth smiled humbly and backed back over to Mark.

"'Ello there, Doug Ross," Doug extended his hand to the king then let his eyes wander over towards the African queen. "And what might your name be again love?"

"They call me Cleopatra, for my beauty is beyond compare." She spoke the words with such certainty that no one knew what to say, yet Doug was sure that she must have heard Elizabeth cough in incredulity.

Sir Benton kissed Carol's hand in turn. "A woman of true beauty," he smiled adoringly at her.

"Yes, she is," Doug entwined his hand in hers to show his obvious possession of the woman. Carol merely pulled away and gave him a playful smack to teach him a lesson.

Dave stepped forward. "I'm David Malucci IV. It's a pleasure to meet a man of your stature, Sir," Dave shook his hand enthusiastically. Benton merely gave him an amused and somewhat puzzled smile in return.

"Please, come into my home. We will have tea. We will talk," another villager held open the flap once more and the five travelers crossed the threshold into a hot, stuffy, dark hut. Dave couldn't exactly put his finger on the rather unpleasant odor that permeated the room but obliged to sit unnoticed for the next three hours as his elder companions chatted away.

He did his best not to fidget but after a while it was no longer possible. He would catch Cleo giving him a quizzical stare every once in a while and he would put down whatever sacred object he had decided to finger.

When they finally left the hut to say their good-byes to the chief and his lovely wife the bright sunlight was blinding.

They remounted their horses and set off, this time their destination being their camp for it would be dusk in a few hours' time.

Dave lazily picked leaves off of passing bushes and tore them up, as he no longer needed to rein his horse. They were heading back home to food, and his steed knew it. It was therefore very well behaved, all intentions on getting home as soon as possible.

They took a more scenic route home and Dave soon lost himself in his ceaseless imaginings once more. They passed a waterhole rimmed with buffalo. As Dave's eyes danced across the scene he noticed two bulls fighting. He slowed his horse and looked on until the scuffling was over with. Neither bull had been injured, the display was just to test each other's strength. Dave knew this for it was true with all animals, except humans. Nearly 75% or more of the animal "fights" we witness are mock tests of strength, for when you survive by outrunning the enemy any wound could be fatal. Animals know this and only resort to real bodily harm when all else fails, something that the human animal needs to practice.

Neither Dave nor the rest of the group noticed when they rounded the corner without him. Dave was so focused on the herd before him he hardly noticed that he had completely let go of the reins to allow his horse to eat the grasses underfoot. Suddenly a gunshot rang out; birds from all directions took to the air and Dave's horse reared, throwing him to the ground. Before he had a chance to feel any pain from the fall Dave was all ready on his feet, grabbing the reins and trying to calm his jittery steed.

He squinted into the distance only to see a man with a rifle swung over his shoulder emerge from the bush after a few loud warning squawks from the surrounding birds. The man approached, not in the least bit perturbed.

As the man came closer Dave took in his apparel, reveling in his imaginings. By the time this mystery man was within earshot Dave had all ready made up his life of narrow escapes and thrilling adventures.

"Gi'day," the man stopped a few feet in front of him. "Nice horse you got there."

"It's not actually mine…" Dave was nervously stuttering for words.

"Sure it ain't… What's your name Skinny?"

"Sk-Skinny! How dare you address David Malucci IV as 'Skinny'!"

The man laughed. "So you do talk. And you're a Brit. Typical," he spat on the ground and began to waltz away.

"W-wait! Where on earth are you going?! We've only just met!"

"'Just met'? No we 'aven't. Meetin' someone's when ya shake hands. We 'aven't shook 'ands and I'm not in the mind to do so."

"You're Australian?"

He spat on the ground again. "What's it to you, mate?"

Dave's face suddenly showed shock. "You're John Carter, aren't you? The famous explorer and game hunter!"

The man before him suddenly looked nervous and glanced about. "Keep it on the down low, kid, I don't want the whole bloody world to know!"

"Mr. Carter," Dave snatched up his hand and shook it vigorously. "It's an honor to make you acquaintance, a real honor!"

"Sure, kid. Whaddid ya say your name was?"

"David Malucci IV."

"Well David Mackacoochie, why don't you take that horse of yours and help me with that meat over there." He jerked his head in the direction of the felled water buffalo.

Dave swallowed hard. "Meat?"

John laughed. "Yah, you know, what we humans like to eat? Don't look so scared, it's not gonna' hurt you. What are you, a prince or something? You gotta have wealth to make it this far into the bush alive."

"No… I'm just here with my aunt and uncle…" he was still staring into the distance at the freshly killed carcass.

John looked at him for a moment longer then waved a hand in front of his face and whistled. "Yoo hoo. Kid!" Dave snapped back to the older man before him. "You gonna help me or what?"

"Of course… why… I've killed many a buffalo in my day." Dave stood a few inches taller and hoped that John wouldn't get the opportunity to discover that he could barely hold a rifle.

Carter looked at him doubtfully. "Sure thing kid… c'mon."

Dave pulled his horse along behind them as they headed towards the carcass.

"Mark? Have you seen David? He appears to have vanished…"

"What was that?"

"I can't see David!"

"You can't be naked?"

"No! I CAN'T SEE… oh for heaven's sake!" she kicked her horse and trotted up to her husband in the dim light of dusk.

"What was that about being naked?"

"I said no such thing!"

Mark laughed. "Come on darling, what's troubling you? Don't make that pouting face."

"I'm not pouting!" Elizabeth gave him a warning warrioress glance. "I can't see David, did he ride up ahead?"

"No… I thought he was back with you."

"Well he isn't and I can't seem to find him…"

"Sweetie, where could he have possible gone off to? We're in the middle of the African savanna for heaven's sake!"

Elizabeth was desperately glancing about her. "Mark, he's gone. He's just up an vanished!"

Mark, realizing that she was right and very hungry began to loose his temper. "I swear, that boy… if I was his father I'd-" he raised his crop again but Elizabeth wasn't listening.

"Mark, do you think he went back to camp?" she was worried now.

"That's the problem, you know. There's absolutely no telling what that boy's to do next! Even if I bloody knew who his father was-"

"Oh shut up! I don't care that he called me an elephant or that he's always reading or that we'll never know who his father was! I care that he's all right! He's our responsibility, Mark! He's all his mother has in the world!" Elizabeth was barely holding back her tears in her sudden bust of fear.

Mark was reasonably shocked by his wife's sudden turn in emotions. "Why, it's quite all right Lizzie. We'll just send a guide out…"

"No it's not all right! Out there there's lions and hippos and warthogs and cheetahs… and leopards… and hyenas!" she was letting her tears spill over her cheeks now, pushed over the edge as she was. "Can't you not see that?! We're not in England we're in Kenya! You can't just up and take a walk after night fall!"

"Lizzie dearest, clam down," the Ross' were glancing back, trying to figure out what was the matter. "It'll all be well. We'll find him. He probably just stopped to look at flowering shrub or… something else that he somehow found interesting…"

Elizabeth began to wipe her tears and nodded in agreement. "You're right, there's no use in panicking yet. We'll just… go back to camp and hope that he turns up. In the meantime send some of our guides out to look for him."

Reaching a consensus the rest of the small party continued with the short leg of their journey home.