AUTHOR: Jamie August
RATING: G
DISCLAIMER: X-Men belong to Marvel; "Twas the Night Before Christmas" was written by Clement Clarke Moore. Of course, he's been dead since 1863, so I kind of doubt he'll be too upset about this.
FEEDBACK: My back is absolutely starving. augustdragon81@netscape.net
A/N: Ooooh, look at all the pretty blinking lights! Hey, those look like a snowman! Looky, the
star of Bethlehem! And - hey, wait a minute! What the - ? Ack! One light went out, and they
ALL went out! Stupid Christmas lights! Die! Die! Die! (I mean, of course, Merry Christmas and
Happy Holidays!)
'Twas The Night Before Christmas (Brotherhood Style)
'Twas the night before Christmas at the Brotherhood house
All the mutants were stirring, and Toad chased a mouse
They taped paper bags to the wall without care
'Cuz they couldn't find their Christmas stockings anywhere
*
They made it look like they were asleep in their beds
While thoughts of catching Santa danced in their heads
"We'll keep him away from the X-geeks!" Fred crowed
"Yeah, and we'll steal his bag of toys!" added Toad
*
When on top of the house there came a loud THUMP!
And they heard someone say, "I can't believe I have to visit this dump!"
Away to the window Pietro flew like a flash
Ripped open the shutters and yelled, "Hey, give us some cash!"
*
And there stood Santa on the new-fallen snow
While Lance hissed, "We're supposed to be hiding, you know."
So they hid and waited for Santa to appear
And Toad secretly hoped to ride a reindeer
*
Just then Santa walked in through the door
And Lance whispered, "Okay, just one minute more."
Santa paused in the doorway and yelled to his deer,
"Okay, all you flea-bags, just wait right out here!"
*
The boys all exchanged a very confused glance
"Isn't he supposed to be saying their names now?" asked Lance
But Santa just came in and walked to the wall
And placed in Fred's bag a new Barbie doll
*
Fred growled, "I really don't play with Barbies, you know."
And Toad leaped up, "C'mon, let's get 'em, yo!"
When Santa heard them, he turned in surprise
Then he saw them and fear filled his eyes
*
In a twinkling Fred grabbed his neck
So Santa screamed, "Take it all, what the heck!"
Gleefully the Brotherhood tore open the sack
While Santa quietly tried to sneak out the back
*
But Pietro was quick and smacked him with a broom
Then the Brotherhood locked Santa in the bathroom
Santa beat on the locked door with one fist
And yelled, "You boys are definitely on the naughty list!"
*
The Brotherhood ignored him, completely undaunted
And turned to the toys, looking for things that they wanted
But it wasn't toys Lance was hoping for
"I want Kitty!" he said, and shook the bag out on the floor
*
A calico ran out and "Meow" it went
Lance groaned, "Aw, man, that's not what I meant!"
And Toad laughed, "She don't like you no-how."
Then Fred frowned, "Aren't we supposed to say something about jelly right now?"
*
The boys stopped in their tracks at the mention of food
While Santa yelled from the bathroom, "You boys are so rude!"
Pietro rummaged in the sack to see what to take
And Fred peered over his shoulder, hoping for cake
*
They spoke not a word while they searched through the toys
Like Tickle Me Elmo and other fun joys
They found presents that suited them all
And Fred traded the Barbie for a G.I. Joe doll
*
Behind the locked door, Santa passed out
Then Toad got an idea and let out a shout
"We'll hijack the sleigh! We'll zip and we'll zing!
We'll deliver the toys, AND WE WON'T GIVE THOSE LOUSY X-MEN A THING!"
~The End~
