AUTHOR: Jamie August

RATING: G

DISCLAIMER: X-Men belong to Marvel; "Twas the Night Before Christmas" was written by Clement Clarke Moore. Of course, he's been dead since 1863, so I kind of doubt he'll be too upset about this.

FEEDBACK: My back is absolutely starving. augustdragon81@netscape.net

A/N: Ooooh, look at all the pretty blinking lights! Hey, those look like a snowman! Looky, the star of Bethlehem! And - hey, wait a minute! What the - ? Ack! One light went out, and they ALL went out! Stupid Christmas lights! Die! Die! Die! (I mean, of course, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!)



'Twas The Night Before Christmas (Brotherhood Style)

'Twas the night before Christmas at the Brotherhood house

All the mutants were stirring, and Toad chased a mouse

They taped paper bags to the wall without care

'Cuz they couldn't find their Christmas stockings anywhere

*

They made it look like they were asleep in their beds

While thoughts of catching Santa danced in their heads

"We'll keep him away from the X-geeks!" Fred crowed

"Yeah, and we'll steal his bag of toys!" added Toad

*

When on top of the house there came a loud THUMP!

And they heard someone say, "I can't believe I have to visit this dump!"

Away to the window Pietro flew like a flash

Ripped open the shutters and yelled, "Hey, give us some cash!"

*

And there stood Santa on the new-fallen snow

While Lance hissed, "We're supposed to be hiding, you know."

So they hid and waited for Santa to appear

And Toad secretly hoped to ride a reindeer

*

Just then Santa walked in through the door

And Lance whispered, "Okay, just one minute more."

Santa paused in the doorway and yelled to his deer,

"Okay, all you flea-bags, just wait right out here!"

*

The boys all exchanged a very confused glance

"Isn't he supposed to be saying their names now?" asked Lance

But Santa just came in and walked to the wall

And placed in Fred's bag a new Barbie doll

*

Fred growled, "I really don't play with Barbies, you know."

And Toad leaped up, "C'mon, let's get 'em, yo!"

When Santa heard them, he turned in surprise

Then he saw them and fear filled his eyes

*

In a twinkling Fred grabbed his neck

So Santa screamed, "Take it all, what the heck!"

Gleefully the Brotherhood tore open the sack

While Santa quietly tried to sneak out the back

*

But Pietro was quick and smacked him with a broom

Then the Brotherhood locked Santa in the bathroom

Santa beat on the locked door with one fist

And yelled, "You boys are definitely on the naughty list!"

*

The Brotherhood ignored him, completely undaunted

And turned to the toys, looking for things that they wanted

But it wasn't toys Lance was hoping for

"I want Kitty!" he said, and shook the bag out on the floor

*

A calico ran out and "Meow" it went

Lance groaned, "Aw, man, that's not what I meant!"

And Toad laughed, "She don't like you no-how."

Then Fred frowned, "Aren't we supposed to say something about jelly right now?"

*

The boys stopped in their tracks at the mention of food

While Santa yelled from the bathroom, "You boys are so rude!"

Pietro rummaged in the sack to see what to take

And Fred peered over his shoulder, hoping for cake

*

They spoke not a word while they searched through the toys

Like Tickle Me Elmo and other fun joys

They found presents that suited them all

And Fred traded the Barbie for a G.I. Joe doll

*

Behind the locked door, Santa passed out

Then Toad got an idea and let out a shout

"We'll hijack the sleigh! We'll zip and we'll zing!

We'll deliver the toys, AND WE WON'T GIVE THOSE LOUSY X-MEN A THING!"





~The End~