Before I go into Happy Noodle Boy mode, I want to let you all in on a little seeeeecret:

This is a parody. A satire. IT'S NOT REAL. Most of my comments on this fic aren't real either. I pretend to be an insane flirt as part of the whole "insane internet newbie" ruse. So please do not take offense or get scared. I am already seeing someone who lives in my state and has never even heard of Jhonen Vasquez. Most of you have guessed this already, but I thought I'd make doubly sure before someone accuses me of being a pedophile.

I originally wrote this so anyone who's suffered a not-so-nice review by me could get their much-deserved revenge. However it turned out rather popular. I think this will be the last chapter unless I am struck by divine (i.e., inspired by pot) inspiration. Reader reviews/praise/flames/threats are always welcome.

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WE WILL DESTROY NICK!!!

JPT ARMED HIMSELF FOR BATTLE AGAINST THE B.U.M.'S! AND THERE WAS A KNOCK ON HIS DOOR!!

It was two pretty girls. Sadly, they were not interested in dating him. "We hear you're after Nick. We're here to help." The one called Slayer said. Tyoria nodded.

THEN THEY WENT TO ZIM'S HOUSE!

"ZIM!" JPT YELLED! "WE'RE HERE TO KILL THE BUTT-UGLY MARTIANS! HELP!"

"No!" Zim yelled. "Why should I care about human affairs?"

"Please?" Tyoria asked.

"No... well okay." So Zim joined up.

WE RODE IN MY COOL MINIVAN AND LISTENED TO BLINK 182 CUZ THEY ROCK! AND EVERYONE SANG ALONG EVEN ZIM!! AND THEN WE GOT TO DIB'S HOUSE! AND DIB JOINED US! BUT DIB WAS A TEENAGER NOW AND HE LOOKED LIKE REALLY COOL AND STUFF!

And then... we reached Nick studios. All was quiet until...

SLAYER: THERE'S HERB SCANNEL!!!

THEN THERE WAS CARNAGE AS SHE DECAPITATED HIM WITH HER HUGE EARRING! AND WE CHEERED! AND THEN WE SAW THE ROCKET POWER KIDS AND ZIM BLASTED THEM WITH SOME COOL ALIEN LAZER!

"Major beefage, indeed," Zim smirked as he observed the smoking piles of human flesh.

Dib tried to punch Spongebob but it didn't work very well, and we lost interest. BUT EVERYONE GASPED WHEN WE SAW THE MOST FEARED OF ALL TOONS:

THE BUTT-UGLY MARTIANS! THEY LOOK AND SMELL LIKE BIG FAT UGLY BUTTS!!!

THERE WAS CHAOS!! AND LOTS OF GOOKY STUFF! AND SLAYER ALMOST GOT HIT WITH THE BUTT-KICKING MODE BUT DIB SAVED HER AND THEN THEY HUGGED! AND WE KILLED THE BUTT UGLY MARTIANS SO BAD IT WASN'T EVEN FUNNY! AND THEN WE WENT HOME.

The end!