Battle Rhapsody: Chapter 5

(All characters except the ones I made up are from DBZ, in other words don't sue me. I'm just writing a fanfic here. Be warned, since this being one of the last comical chapters in the series, you must be warned that there is a very high stupidity level at the end of it.)

Trunx ran for his life as a storm of chains, maces, and other various sharp objects seemed to rain down on the very arena he was standing in.
"What the heck is going on?!" he screamed out loud to no one. As far as he knew, all he remembered was hearing the word "Nihao", then suddenly he was under attack. He had barely even time to look at his opponent.
He jumped aside as another large weight landed where he had been standing seconds before. By the size of it, it looked as if it could of crushed him easily.
"Hey is this legal!" he yelled up to the annoucer overhead. Though all he got was a nod in return, as this seemed all good in the official's eyes.

"Argh! I'm getting no where in this fight!" he grumbled to himself. Then suddenly he had an idea.
"Hey you! Whoever you are, why don't you come out and fight me instead of all this trickery!" he yelled to no one in particular, trying to make his attacker show themselves.
"Do you really want me to do that?" came an omnicant, yet womanly voice out of nowhere.
"Uh....yeah?"
He looked around trying to find the owner of the voice. Yet as far as he could tell, there was no one in the arena but himself. And if he been paying a little more attention, he would of realized that the audience, including the annoucer was as baffled as him
"Ok then!" came a happy, now more girlish sounding voice.
"Good, now we can really start to get this..."
CLANG!

Trunx landed hard on the ground, not having seen what or whom had just clobbered him. He looked around shakily after he regained his senses to see that there was now someone else in the ring with him.
As he surveyed this person he realized that whoever it was, was obviously chinese, and was obviously female. Though she looked more like doll then any woman he had evern seen. She had blue hair that curled at the ends.
Also she was wearing the strangest clothes he had ever seen. The coloring on all of it was mainly red, purple, and yellow. More specifically she wore a long robe, that ended with baggy pants that went down to her ankles. Though the more odd things about her was the goofy hat she wore on her head, along with the bright red spots painted on her cheeks. Not to mention the fact that her skin tone was light blue rather then any color he had ever seen.
She slowly made her way over to him and looked down.
"Hey you alright? I wouldn't want this match to be over this quickly. It just wouldn't be fun." she said casually, tossing a small spiked ball up and the air and catching it while she talked.
He slowly sat up and gasped when he realized something he hadn't noticed before. Her robe had some of the largest sleeves he had ever seen. And at the end of each sleeve was a huge set of metal claws. Though by the looks of it, her real hands were perfectly normal. Though they were poking out of her sleeves at the moment, as if they were going right through them.

Trunx finally stood up straight, hoping that a real fight would soon start.
"All right then, I don't know what the heck you are, but lets get this thing started."
"All right, all right. If you're so eager to lose, don't let me stop you." she said with a smirk, turning away from him. He was appaled that she was so sure she was going to win. He suddenly decided he wasn't going to let this girl turn her back on him and live to tell about it.
With that instant he suddenly dashed forward and threw a punch at her. Though it went right through, and she just stared at him with a smirk.
"Oh so thats how you wanna play it huh? Hitting a girl when her back is turned? Haven't you ever heard of chivalry?" she said cutely, and started to fade away.
Trunx stood there stunned, regaining the lost balance from when his punch went right through his target.
"Hey don't you go dissapearing on me again! What the heck are you!?" he yelled angrily, watching as she dissapeared completely.

He wasn't in the dark for long though, since she quickly reappeared on the other side of the arena.
"You wanna know who I am?" she said smiling, as if she had been waiting for that question all day. Suddenly a spotlight seemed to shine on her out of nowhere, accompied by strange sounding ancient chinese music.
"To some I'm a ghost, to others I'm an entertainer. But to all who really know me, they would know that I'm actually......." she said, holding her voice for emphasis.
Trunx looked around with sweatdrop on his forehead, as he saw that everyone in the stadium was at the edge of their seat waiting to hear what she really is. Even the annoucer was drooling with anticipation.
Trunx stood there, waiting for her to finish her sentence, but she just stood impressively.
"All right! All right! Enough dramatic pausing already! Out with it!"
"....."
"I said out with it!"
"I forgot what I was saying...."
Trunx fell to the ground. Though he quickly stood up, glaring angrily at her.
"Are you even taking this fight seriously?!"
She ignored him.

"Oh yeah I remember what I was saying. I'm actually Hsien-ko, the magnificent chinese vampire! The most famous out of all vampires in the world!"
There was a sudden gasp from everyone in the stadium, which was proceeded by everyone turning to the person next to them and asking "What is a chinese vampire?"
"Hsien-ko? Never heard of ya." he said astutly, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
Hsien-ko looked around the stadium frantically and realized that he was right. Nobody seemed to know who she was!
"How is that possible! You mean you've never heard of Hsien-ko the great?!"
"Nope"
"Hsien-ko the astounding!"
"Nope"
"Hsien-ko the most amazing undead entertainer that ever existed!"
"No, no, and no. Nobody's heard of ya. So why don't you just stop showing off and make a name for yourself right here and now.

Hsien-ko, who had been waving her arms around frantically in astounishment, suddenly got thoughtful.
"Hey thats not such a bad idea." she said to herself with a smirk. Suddenly her arms melded back into her sleeves and she raised the ridiculously large metal claws menacingly.
"I've never been the type to engage in long winded fights. So lets make this short and sweet." she said outloud with the best evil sound she could muster for her voice.

Trunx fell into a fighting stance.
"All right lets do this...."
Suddenly Hsien-ko slammed her claws into the ground, and a huge crack starting jutting straight at Trunx. At first he didn't know what to make of it, then he saw what the attack actually was. Giant knives with weird symbols on them were jutting out of the crack that was heading toward him.
At that point he realized that if he didn't move his butt, he would soon find out why Hsien-ko was so cocky all the time. He immediately lost his confident air and started to run for his life. The knives on the other hand seemed to be following him around the arena no matter where he went, which didn't make it any easier on his part.
"Ah crap, ah crap. What am I going to do?! Wait, I got it! I'll fly!" he said suddenly and then took off from the ground.
"Oh I don't think so!" he heard Hsien-ko cry. And before he could even think, a very large metal mallet was implanted into his forehead, sending him falling to the ground. In which he landed with a "thump".

Elsewhere Frieza cringed as he watched the fight.
"Agh, I feel like I'm watching an old cartoon show. This Hsien-ko girl seems to mix pain with pleasure. She's been laughing this entire fight." Frieza stated.
Pan peered out of their Mighty Mask costume to see what was going on.
"Hey your right this sorta reminds me of those old cartoons. Ya know the ones with that rabbit. What was his name.....oh yeah Bugs...."
"Shhhhhhh!!!!!"
Pan looked up at him.
"Hey what was that for? I was just going to say Bugs...."
"I said shutup! I mean we already using Capcom characters in this fanfic. Do you think we want the WB after us to. Jeez, sometimes you just don't think."
Pan looked up at him thoughtfully.
"Good point. Though who cares if I say Bugs Bunny or not."
Frieza slapped his forehead.
"We're gonna get sued....I just know it...."

Back at the fight (and reality) Trunx was lying on the ground with swirly symbols for eyes. Hsien-ko was standing over his victoriously. The annoucer above seemed like he was about to make his decision.
"Ooo and it looks like the fight is over. So in the end, due to a knockout, the winner of this match is...."
"HSIEN-KO!!!!!" came a sudden yell out of nowhere.
Hsien-ko cringed when she realized who it was.
Suddenly out of the ground materialzed a girl that looked very much like Hsien-ko. Though she had brown hair, was a little taller, and costume was mostly yellow and orange.
Hsien-ko scratched the back of her head.
"Oh hey sis. What brings you here?" she asked innocently.
The woman quickly walked over to where Hsien-ko was standing.
"Hsien-ko!!! How dare you come up to the real world and enter these tournaments!! How many times have I told you its not a challenge if you can't lose!" she growled.
"Aww c'mon Ling Ling, it was all in fun."
"Don't you "all in fun" me! Just look what you did to that poor boy!" she yelled, pointing down at Trunx.
"Oh yeah, uhhhh...."
"Jeez! It seems every millenia or so you just have to go and do something stupid like this. You just gotta pick on the living? Don't you?! Don't you!?!?!"
"Aww c'mon sis, I didn't mean it. Besides don't you ever want to exploit your powers sometimes?"
"Thats it!!! You're coming home with me!" Ling ling yelled, and took hold of Hsien-ko's ear.
"But sis!"
"No buts, we're leaving!"
And with that both girls sunk into the ground, and out of sight.

The annoucer stood there, half ready to declare Hsien-ko the winner.
"Uh...ladies and gentlemen. It seems that the winner of this match, by disqualifications. Is.....Trunx?", he shook his head, "Yes its Trunx! Trunx Briefs wins this match, and the right to move on to the next round!" the annoucer yelled enthusiatically. He then leaned over to one of the officials.
"Uh could one of your guys drag him out of the arena?"
And as he asked a man from the sidelines jumped into the arena, hauled Trunx onto his shoulder and carried him off the arena. Though of course not without waving Trunx's hand around for him first.

Sapphire walked across the aisle to her mother.
"Here mom, I got the money out of the car you needed."
She glanced at the arena.
"Hey where's Trunx? Did he win? Is the fight over?"
She looked down to see everyone around her was staring, open-mouthed at the stadium. Suddenly Sapphire had a panic attack that something may have happened to her husband.
"Oh don't freak out, he won and he's just fine." Marron suddenly said. There was an actual hint of a smile curling her lips as she thought back to how the fight went.
"Oh....."
Sapphire was suddenly startled when a huge cheer erupted out of the just recently stagnant crowd.

"Thats right folks! The next fight is between C-18 and the one, the only Hercule!!!!" the annoucer yelled, completely overcompensating for the moment.
Hercule took his rightful place at the center of the arena. At least he thought it was his rightful place. Either way he started to do what he did best, show off.
The next several minutes were spent as Hercule made a victory speech about how he was going to beat Android 18. And how it would take such a little amount of his strength to beat her.
"....and after I win this fight, I'm going to......OUCH!!!"
C-18 glared at him angrily as she dug her heel into his toe.
"Lets get this over with already!" she said, growling slightly as she took her proper place in the arena. Hercule also took his place after quickly recovering from the small incident, but not without a little jumping around and cursing.

As Hercule felt the start of the fight nearing, combined with the evil stare C-18 was giving him, he was suddenly start to doubt that she was going to stick with the plan.
Then suddenly the bell rang......and nothing happened.
Both fighters stood a short distance from each other. C-18 with her arms crossed simply, staring at him, and Hercule in some sort of ridiculous fighting stance that he must of picked up in a movie somewhere.
Seeing that she was going to do it after all Hercule charged forward and sent his strongest punch right into her face. It hit her right between the eyes, yet she seemed to not have taken any damage from it at all.
Then suddenly she smirked at him. This of course almost caused Hercule's heart to stop, as he realized that she wasn't following the plan. She was going to humiliate him. He was going to watch his whole career go down the tubes because he was beaten up by a woman at the Budokai Tournament.
Then to his great surprise, she closed her eyes and toppled over backwards.

Hercule stood there several minutes slowly taking in exactly what had happened. Then it hit him and he quickly regained his confidence and stood over her triumphantly.
"Oh yeah!!!!!" he yelled suddenly, the first time in a long while he's actually truelly been happy after a win. Caught up in the moment, he placed a foot on her stomach as a show of victory. Though when he heard a snort of dissaproval from her, he quickly withdrew it.
Jade, along with everyone else was stunned. They looked from side to side trying to figure out how in the world that idiot Hercule just defeated C-18.
Suddenly their eyes fell on Krillin who seemed to be taking this surprisingly well.
"Krillin! Wha...what happened!" Bulma yelled out suddenly.
"Seems to me Hercule won the fight." he replied simply.
"But how?!" Jade exclaimed.
"By punching her?"
"No! You don't seem to be getting the point! How did...."
"Just calm down. I'll explain everything in a minute. Let me just wait for C-18 to get back up here." he said once again very calmly.
"You mean she's ok?" Bulma asked.

Bulma's question was answered when suddenly Android 18 pushed past her to sit next to her husband. A very happy and content look was on her face, despite the fact she just lost.
"Wait! Hold up! What's going on here?" Bra piped in, just as utterly confused as her mother.
C-18 simply replied by holding out a check for the girl and women to see.
"50,000 dollars!" They all yelled in unison.
"Shhhhhh! Keep it down!" she hissed.
"50,000 dollars." they said once again in unison but this time at a whisper.
"Yep! All of it just to throw the fight." she replied happily. Krillin just nodded his head beside her in approval. The three girls though were completely stunned.
"When did martial arts become wrestling anyway....." Marron suddenly muttered.
"What was that?" her mother asked with a bit of an edge in her voice.
"I said you should become a wrestler." Marron simply replied with another coy smile, as her head bowed back down to read her book.
"Oh ok."
"...."
"Aren't you going to say something about that mom?" Marron asked, looking up from her book again.
"About what?"
"About.......nevermind....just nevermind."
"Oh ok."
Krilling leaned over to his daughter.
"Dont' try to talk to your mother when she's in the presense of a large sum of money. It sorta short circuits her brain.....OW!"
Krilling nurtured a fresh punch mark on his head.
"I'm not deaf ya know." C-18 muttered.

Bra watched the scene with a strange look on her face. She then turned to her mother.
"Mommy, why are there so many bad jokes in this fanfic?"
"I don't know, maybe because the writer has nothing better to do with his time." Bulma replied simply.
"Hey I resent that!"
Jade looked up.
"Who are you?"
"I'm....the writer, Genro."
"Well what the heck are you doing here?" she asked angrily.
"Hmm lets see.....mostly so I can tell you guys to shutup so I can finish this chapter!"
"Well you're awfully rude. But since this is getting quite dull, we'll be quiet."
"Ok thanks."
"...."
"...."
"...."
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"Aren't you going to finish the chapter!!!"
"Finish the....oh yeah I forgot."
Listening to the conversation, Marron rolled her eyes.
"Idiot...."

Oh well, see you next time on.....wait this isn't a tv show......uh anyway "To be Continued."

((Well next we start to move into the Buu saga officially. I'm going to try to write as much as I can, but with school getting me down you're going to have to bare with me. Anyway Hsien-ko is copyright of capcom blah blah blah, you know the drill. Well see you next chapter.
"Uh sir?"
Yes? Can I help you?
"We're from the WB, would you please come with us."
Huh?! What?! Hey wait! Stop! Where are you taking me! AHHHHHHHHH!))