"Nope my answer still stands. I don't think so." He just didn't seem to get it but he had a point. To be truthful I didn't want to die. I was more afraid of the unknown than what lie ahead. Then again who wasn't? Isn't that the very thing that has caused men to chase after immortality despite the price it entails? Though being who I am I stick to my word. So no meant no, period, end of story.
"Even so you have little choice in the matter. It is unspoken law among our kind that it is illegal to let a newborn vampire die."
"Well I don't care." Okay I did care. I felt the pain spread to the point where I felt sick and feverish. Try having the feeling of a branding iron burning you from the inside all over and you'll come close to what it feels like. He was making me frustrated and really angry I just wanted to rip his throat out and make him shut up already. I stop myself at that thought what am I thinking this is so strange.
He just smiled at me again. That wicked smile that said everything and nothing. I was really beginning to hate it. In the instant it took me to process what was going on he moved us both to a dark and shadowy ally. I didn't know right away what he did but in a vague way I did. This was so confusing to me. All these new thought and new instincts…Was I going crazy or something?
He just continued to walk down the blackened street and I followed blindly anything that required more thought was beyond me. Instead of being half-blind like I should have been in this kind of darkness I could see perfectly by the small amount of silver light the crescent moon in the clear night sky gave off. I could also hear sounds I never knew I could before like the light sound of the cloth of my shirt brushing against the fabric of the blue jeans I had on. New smells came to me as well; some of them were familiar and many others were totally new to me.
Soon the fascination with my newfound heightened senses dulled I was in too much pain to think. I shivered agonizingly and tried to ignore it but it would not go away. I felt hot and burning more toward the surface but the core of me felt ice cold. The kind of freezing that sinks deep down and seems as if it will never thaw. I just wanted the pain to stop but it only started to grow worse the longer I followed this Aubrey. My mouth was parched and devoid of any moisture. I longed for the blood Aubrey told me I needed but still somewhere else I knew I needed to resist that temptation. It was wrong to kill I wouldn't do it if I could help it. Although I was not quite sure how well I could control myself already I was at the point where I was starting to lose the feeling in my hands and the nerve racking pain just continued to get worse.
After a time I heard a tha-thump sound that instantly got my attention; it was like a heartbeat. Something told me where there was a heartbeat there was food, blood, and I needed blood. Aubrey must of heard it too because he went to the sound like I wanted to do as well so I just kept following. The sound got louder and I knew I was so close…I caught sight of its source. It was a drifter standing at the end of the alleyway doing nothing but just leaning against the wall staring at the sky. He was dressed in a scruffy and worn pair of navy blue pants and a worn down kaki trench coat. It wasn't his appearance that I was interested in though I just watched his every movement intently waiting to see what he was going to do.
He noticed us and looks at us startled and afraid. I could smell the fear coming off him. This just makes him smell more and more like food, not a great thing to happen in the presence of a hungry predator. In an unconscious movement I lick my dry lips and jump as my tongue slips through a pair of razor sharp fangs. I run my tongue down them and they feel alien in my mouth, they don't feel like they belong there. They're just there and they're meant to be how else would I feed? I was just so hungry… No, I told myself, you can't do this you can't. I refused before and I would keep trying to.
Then I heard a voice in my head that belonged to Aubrey, "Go on, he told me, take your meal I know you want it." I did want it but I still was going to fight that instinct as long as I could but it was futile. The savage hunger lashed at my insides telling me to feed and I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep saying no. It was becoming so hard but what was left of the more rational side of me screamed no that was not right. It was like having two people in my head at once arguing with each other. Neither one would back down but this was ending up a losing battle. I couldn't keep fighting Aubrey and my instincts it was impossible to do.
Finally Aubrey lost his patience as I hesitated and he walked over to the human and pulled his head back. My gaze went to his throat and I could see his pulse jump as fear made his heart beat quickly. Aubrey took out his knife and made a tiny slit on the side of the man's neck and I lost it then and there. I caught the scent of sweet blood and couldn't help myself anymore; I was half starved and food was right here. I bounded at the human like a wild animal and grabbed his shirt, pulling him toward me. I eagerly sunk my fangs into his throat and began to feel instantly relieved as he blood flowed from his veins into my mouth.
My high fever broke as I drank deeply from him. The blood was so hot, sweet, and full of the life I needed. The liquid felt so good running down my sand-dry mouth as it began to quench my thirst and calm the sharp ache in my gut. After the initial rush of relief from starting to feed I caught flashes of something and I didn't know quite what it was. At that moment I was too fargone to understand the pictures I was seeing. Soon enough though I had had enough time to know what it was; I was seeing memories from my prey not just random images. I could sift through this person's memories picking and choosing what I wanted to see. I didn't want to really see any of it but as I fed I couldn't seem to block them out. Not while I felt his heart and his life flowed past my lips. What I saw was like watching a movie of what this man's life had been. I wanted it to stop because now I no longer wanted to be doing this. My senses had been coming back to me and I was aware of my actions now. I'm killing him but I can't stop and force myself away. It's just too much for me to handle my self control had been all but used up and I could do much of anything to stop myself.
I felt the flow of blood slow and his heart stop beating. Only when I had completely drained him could I let go. What had I done? I never meant to kill yet here I was with a dead man in my arms. I dropped him and scrambled away from him mortified at what I had just done to him. I felt even guiltier than I already did for the fact that I didn't really feel guilty at all for feeding on him. I only felt contented, well fed, and satisfied the hunger was gone and actually felt energized.
I turned to Aubrey who had an approving look on his face and he seemed like I had just done something to make him proud. I growled at him curling back my lip showing my still elongated fangs. Without thinking I rushed him and pinned him up against the wall suddenly enraged at what he had done to me and made me do. The blood had helped with more than just making the pain stop; I could also remember everything clearly now. The partial amnesia was gone and I had all my memories back.
"Why, I demanded forcefully, why did you do this to me?" I wanted answers and I was going to get them.
He just laughed at me some and replied, "You think threatening me is going to get you what you want to know?" I'm infuriated at his arrogance and I snatch the knife from his belt and put it to his throat. His doesn't seem bothered by this at all. In fact he seems perfectly at ease, an aloof expression covering his face.
"Tell me now!" Enough is enough I needed to now why. Why he had chosen to damn me instead of just kill me. I would have preferred it if he had just killed me the more conventional way, the permanent way. True death would have been bliss compared to this.
Without any warning at all he grabs my arm and wrenches the knife from my grip and reverses our positions. Now I'm the one pinned with a knife geld at my throat. I have no idea what kind of knife that is but it burns ever so slightly where it touches my neck. Before I have a chance to speak he tells me, "You're little attack on me has answered you own question Raziel. You're an aggressive hunter and a fierce killer whether you will admit to it or not. I named you what I did for a reason, child. You like, the Raziel from myth, are an angel of mystery. That Raziel was the destroyer of the corrupt angel Rahab and protector of the book of Raziel. You like him are a protector but you are also a destroyer. Deny it if you wish but you have proved it often enough that you can't keep lying to yourself." I'm speechless as his words sink in. He's right about everything I don't want to admit it but I can't just let him this he's right. I'm not a killer…or at least so I thought. Oh, God help me.
"Come now Raziel, he says releasing me, you have much to teach you before I can let you off on your own." I come with him this time without argument. He's right on the fact that I do have much to learn and unfortunately he's the only one who can teach me right now. Hopefully I will rid of him as soon as I possibly can. I hate him and I think he knows that either way I have a lot to learn from now till then. I could only make it so far on what I know besides it's not like I have a choice in the matter. Aubrey is stronger than I so what he tells me to do I have to do within reason or…or…well he could very well kill me a second time
