"Bane..." Rock stared up, looking at something green that had been nailed
over the door. "Let me test my understanding here. That's mistletoe, isn't
it?"
"Yeah?" Bane looked at Rock questioningly, coming to stand beside him under the mistletoe.
"And we don't have any girls in the lab."
"Yes..."
"So who the hell is going to kiss under it?" He demanded... then turned to look at Bane, and the bright, innocent smile on his face. That made him pause for a long moment. "Only in my worst nightmares." And Rock stalked off.
"Yeah... I was afraid you'd say that..." Bane sighed, giving the mistletoe a forlorn glance before following Rock...
hr
Christmas eve... a time to have fun, be with family, eat lots of turkey and stuffing and drink oneself silly...
Bane slurped up the last of his spicy ramen, and looked sadly at the part he'd been retooling. He picked it up and started again, for a moment, before setting it back down.
"It's not Rock's fault Roll invited him to stay with them for Christmas..." Bane muttered to himself, sitting down. "It's not his fault she likes him... and I wasn't invited..." They probably hadn't even thought about it. Rock wouldn't have wanted to ask, even assuming he wanted Bane there. Bane blinked, rubbing his eyes.
Rock had been hesitent, when he had asked if Bane minded his leaving for Christmas. Bane was sort of proud of himself... he'd given a good imitation of cheerful indifference, and insisted he'd be fine on his own. And he would... eventually.
"Fuck this." He tossed the part away, then got his backpack, money and ID. He'd be hitting the bars tonight.
The first one he came to had a nice, handsome guy bartender who asked for ID. Bane sighed, pulling out his wallet.
"Here... just pick whichever looks most convincing." There were six false ID's inside.
"Unh... sir, I really can't..." The guy said, shaking his head. Bane's eyes narrowed.
"Look... I'm a teenage, unstable super-genius robot, who's been playing violent video games all day, with all the latest weaponry, and get just a little unhappy when I can't spend the holidays in a drunken stupor. Now, give me a damn boilmaker, would you?" The bartender decided discretion was the better part of valor on this one, since Bane had transformed his arm into a cannon, and was pointing it at his head.
"Coming right up, sir." Bane slipped onto a barstool, taking the drink with a sigh and downing it. After about a half hour of drinking...
"So this is where I am after five years in my present life... most of the people I've ever known are dead, including my poor little copy... my best friend is off having fun with his girlfriends family... I have to take drugs just to stay sane... and I'm so pathetically useless I can't even cook myself up a Christmas dinner to distract myself." Bane drained his latest drink. "So I'm spending Christmas Eve forcing a bartender to serve me drinks at gunpoint to forget how pathetic my life really is." He thumped his head down on the bar. "I hate the holidays, I really do."
"Tell me..." The bartender said as he filled up another drink. "Have you ever tried to get into the holiday spirit?"
"Sure, lots." Bane said despondently. "It works pretty well when Rock's around..." He lifted his backpack up, and pulled a small, obolong object out. It was papered in beautiful Christmas wrappings. "This's for him. Guess I'll have to give it to him when he gets back. It's a book he wanted..." Bane knew he wanted it. Rock had admired it, but decided he couldn't afford it until it hit softcover. "Just this year... all alone... y'know?"
"Yeah, if I had a family, I wouldn't be in today even for stat pay. Another boilmaker?" The bartender said, taking the glass. Bane sniffed and nodded.
"Please."
An hour later...
"YOO HOO! Any pedophiles and pervs in the audience! Young, nubile guy willing to do ANYTHING!" Bane was standing on his stool, having reached a stage of drunkenness that had no shame. "C'mon, no takers? Some pedophile's'd give their SOULS for a drunken, innocent young guy willing to do... anything... just not to go home alone again another Christmas in that big, cold lab..." Tears started sliding down Bane's cheeks. "That damn, empty life... WHAT? No takers?!?" Bane wavered on the barstool. "Please?"
Then he let himself plop back down onto the stool, tears running freely down his cheeks. There was a soft tink behind him.
"Here... an eggnog, on the house. Then I'll call you a cab. Okay?" The bartender said, looking almost depressed himself, and Bane sniffled again.
"Okay..."
hr
Back at the bat cave... (so to speak)
"Hehehe... I'll teach those horny ecchi perverts for not taking advantage of me when they had the chance..." Bane finished connecting the cables of a webcam. "Hehehe! Suckers..." He'd already done the website programming, set up the subliminal feed... and consumed a whole bottle of vodka. "Ah, there we go."
With the webcam set up, he took a seat on the sofa, lounging around langorously as he kept drinking. For this kind of website, he didn't need to do much else... especially since he was only wearing silky, black harem pants that showed off his chest to very good advantage, and didn't do much to conceal his legs, either.
"Hahaha!" Bane giggled, taking another deep drink. "Enjoy the instructions, suckers."
"Yeah?" Bane looked at Rock questioningly, coming to stand beside him under the mistletoe.
"And we don't have any girls in the lab."
"Yes..."
"So who the hell is going to kiss under it?" He demanded... then turned to look at Bane, and the bright, innocent smile on his face. That made him pause for a long moment. "Only in my worst nightmares." And Rock stalked off.
"Yeah... I was afraid you'd say that..." Bane sighed, giving the mistletoe a forlorn glance before following Rock...
hr
Christmas eve... a time to have fun, be with family, eat lots of turkey and stuffing and drink oneself silly...
Bane slurped up the last of his spicy ramen, and looked sadly at the part he'd been retooling. He picked it up and started again, for a moment, before setting it back down.
"It's not Rock's fault Roll invited him to stay with them for Christmas..." Bane muttered to himself, sitting down. "It's not his fault she likes him... and I wasn't invited..." They probably hadn't even thought about it. Rock wouldn't have wanted to ask, even assuming he wanted Bane there. Bane blinked, rubbing his eyes.
Rock had been hesitent, when he had asked if Bane minded his leaving for Christmas. Bane was sort of proud of himself... he'd given a good imitation of cheerful indifference, and insisted he'd be fine on his own. And he would... eventually.
"Fuck this." He tossed the part away, then got his backpack, money and ID. He'd be hitting the bars tonight.
The first one he came to had a nice, handsome guy bartender who asked for ID. Bane sighed, pulling out his wallet.
"Here... just pick whichever looks most convincing." There were six false ID's inside.
"Unh... sir, I really can't..." The guy said, shaking his head. Bane's eyes narrowed.
"Look... I'm a teenage, unstable super-genius robot, who's been playing violent video games all day, with all the latest weaponry, and get just a little unhappy when I can't spend the holidays in a drunken stupor. Now, give me a damn boilmaker, would you?" The bartender decided discretion was the better part of valor on this one, since Bane had transformed his arm into a cannon, and was pointing it at his head.
"Coming right up, sir." Bane slipped onto a barstool, taking the drink with a sigh and downing it. After about a half hour of drinking...
"So this is where I am after five years in my present life... most of the people I've ever known are dead, including my poor little copy... my best friend is off having fun with his girlfriends family... I have to take drugs just to stay sane... and I'm so pathetically useless I can't even cook myself up a Christmas dinner to distract myself." Bane drained his latest drink. "So I'm spending Christmas Eve forcing a bartender to serve me drinks at gunpoint to forget how pathetic my life really is." He thumped his head down on the bar. "I hate the holidays, I really do."
"Tell me..." The bartender said as he filled up another drink. "Have you ever tried to get into the holiday spirit?"
"Sure, lots." Bane said despondently. "It works pretty well when Rock's around..." He lifted his backpack up, and pulled a small, obolong object out. It was papered in beautiful Christmas wrappings. "This's for him. Guess I'll have to give it to him when he gets back. It's a book he wanted..." Bane knew he wanted it. Rock had admired it, but decided he couldn't afford it until it hit softcover. "Just this year... all alone... y'know?"
"Yeah, if I had a family, I wouldn't be in today even for stat pay. Another boilmaker?" The bartender said, taking the glass. Bane sniffed and nodded.
"Please."
An hour later...
"YOO HOO! Any pedophiles and pervs in the audience! Young, nubile guy willing to do ANYTHING!" Bane was standing on his stool, having reached a stage of drunkenness that had no shame. "C'mon, no takers? Some pedophile's'd give their SOULS for a drunken, innocent young guy willing to do... anything... just not to go home alone again another Christmas in that big, cold lab..." Tears started sliding down Bane's cheeks. "That damn, empty life... WHAT? No takers?!?" Bane wavered on the barstool. "Please?"
Then he let himself plop back down onto the stool, tears running freely down his cheeks. There was a soft tink behind him.
"Here... an eggnog, on the house. Then I'll call you a cab. Okay?" The bartender said, looking almost depressed himself, and Bane sniffled again.
"Okay..."
hr
Back at the bat cave... (so to speak)
"Hehehe... I'll teach those horny ecchi perverts for not taking advantage of me when they had the chance..." Bane finished connecting the cables of a webcam. "Hehehe! Suckers..." He'd already done the website programming, set up the subliminal feed... and consumed a whole bottle of vodka. "Ah, there we go."
With the webcam set up, he took a seat on the sofa, lounging around langorously as he kept drinking. For this kind of website, he didn't need to do much else... especially since he was only wearing silky, black harem pants that showed off his chest to very good advantage, and didn't do much to conceal his legs, either.
"Hahaha!" Bane giggled, taking another deep drink. "Enjoy the instructions, suckers."
