A/N = ………………. cliché…uuh…
A/N 2 = Waiting for my entry fic to come out as it should *glares at fic and rolls up sleeves*, I'm entering this lil' thing to Kathleen's contest too.
A/N 3 = The 'poem' at the end of the fic is a mix of "It can't rain all time" from The Crow OST, and the world of the Italian advertisement of said movie.
A/N 4 = I'm gonna hide in my usual hiding place now, but don't worry: comments, criticism, flames and threats to my life can still reach me. *distributes handkerchiefs and bonuses for a free visit to the dentist* Enjoy! *bolts*
Of Swords and RainbowsRearranging the heavy quilt around my shoulders I give out a sigh, drawing my legs closer to my chest. Behind the frozen protection of the window, rain's falling in flashing sheets of fine silver, washing all of the colours out of the sky and bleeding them out over the horizon to create a blurred line of dirty grey.
Filtering through livid clouds, the moonlight blazes down on the glittering ground, adding to the supernatural ambiance of this evening, milky silver splashing over blurred black in the most appealing of fashions.
Rain is brooding, dreary, enveloping. I may have been one of those people who enjoyed the refreshing downpours that fall out of Summer, or that kiss you softly during Spring once, but not anymore. I have a faint remembrance of someone telling me that after every storm there's a rainbow. You just have to have faith and open your eyes, and you'll see it.
Osamu told me that.
And I remember that afterwards, after every storm, I would go and look for a rainbow in the sky. And it would be there, like my brother had promised me, just like he had put that glittering arc in the sky only for my delight. For the longest time I thought he really did. In my child's mind Osamu could boil liquid colours in a dark cauldron and then paint the sky for me, only for me.
I slowly grew fond of storms. At first, they thrilled me for I knew I'd be able to see one of Onii-san's rainbow after the rain would stop, but then I began enjoying the howls of the leafs danced by the wind, the glittering aura everything would be embellished with. When storms unlash their rage on the ground everything changes, everything turns into something beautiful. Air transmutes into an inebriating perfume and gains a faint aftertaste that refreshes you. Earth becomes a blanket of glittering pearls, and despite the lack of light, everything radiates luminosity, glistening wet.
But even if I spent countless lonely days staring at the enchanting sight of a storm and marvelling at its beauty, I never stopped to think about what Osamu's words could really mean. I accepted them as clear and steady, never taking time to look past them at the jewelled truth they concealed from my eyes. As I grew older I was forced to do so, though. A storm called confusion took the shape of a spiky haired creature and rocked my life, throwing 'Ken' around like a rag doll.
I began to wear glasses. Golden wire rimming the opalescent lilac glass. My eyes, a dead blue then, were always eclipsed by some phantom reflection. I began to wear a cape. Purple wing rimmed in gold wavering on my back. I began to wear spike hair. Wild locks carelessly splayed across my face, blotting the cruelty of my icy gaze. I became cold, and hated myself for being so unfeeling. Ken used to wish he could turn back time then, and remember, but the cruel creature, appropriately named Kaiser, only wanted to hurt and forget, hurt and forget; always, endlessly.
But if there was something I never forgot to do even when I was the Kaiser, it was to look for rainbows. And it didn't take much for both Ken and the dire tyrant to understand where my rainbow after the storm was. Who it was.
The Kaiser sought shelter behind his cruel actions then. Hiding from my rainbow's all too true colours. The Kaiser surely thought he was playing such tricky games with my rainbow, dulling its colours and shattering its soul in billionths fragments by rubbing salt in the wounds craved in that seemingly joyful colours. In all truth, he was the one being played.
And he lost.
The clouds that had been hovering above me scattered away, like leafs caught in a whirlwind on the icy asphalt of a Winter night, and the rainbow came. The rainbow came. Like Onii-san said, after the storm the rainbow came. And it had the shape of a kid of my age, with glistening auburn orbs and burgundy locks that splayed themselves across a visage of the same colour of honey.
Daisuke.
If the Kaiser had been the tempest that tried to drown 'Ken', Daisuke was the dazzling light that caressed my face after the storm was gone. He's the rainbow I've been searching for all my life without knowing. Daisuke… Daisuke's everything to me, and yet I never told him. He's my best friend, my saviour, my rainbow, but I never told him.
I want to.
But you can't talk when you're enveloped by the darkest rain. You can't chase a rainbow when water pours down the sky to drown the earth and make of you nothing but a memory. You can't chase a rainbow where there's no one to boil its colours in a black cauldron to drip them over the horizon. I could yell until my voice ran bloody, and my rainbow still wouldn't hear me, beyond the livid clouds.
I'm again lost in a storm and I'm wishing –desperately- for my rainbow to come and light up the sky, setting it ablaze with centuries of opalescent hues. I want my rainbow to descend the heavens and embrace me like a fine blanket. I want my rainbow to forget about the sky and come to me, living with me, for me, making him mine and me his. I want Daisuke to.
I want,
I want,
I want…
I ceased to run after my rainbow at one point in time. And if I kept my feelings to myself is because I was afraid. Afraid that I would disappoint him. When I chose to let it go, to forget him, once again I was worrying that I couldn't live up to what other people wanted me to be. I was scared I wouldn't fit in the prefixed mould they'd planned for me. I had played the part of the perfect kid for too long and now I couldn't get rid of the role.
I was like a puppet, a sad Pinocchio of our time, with my limbs tied to invisible strings. The shattered fragments, remains of the Kaiser's fall, had seed themselves under my skin, and the more I tried to get rid of those shards, the more I got tangled in the strings, that spider web of confusion.
After I decided it was best to let my rainbow go, living as the lowly shadow I am, looking up at him glorified in the Light he loves so much, whenever a storm hit it almost seemed like the rain was out to get me, to punish me for all the sins I committed, showing me rainbows I didn't care about anymore, remembering me constantly of the only one I could touch and that was yet out of my reach.
Daisuke…
That dislike for rain quickly became hate as days passed by. And cute little thoughts about how sweet and refreshing rain is, became bitterness. Those glittering pearls of light that fascinated me so much transmuted in what I've in front of my eyes now.
Heavy, icy and damning, dark water.
I'm not afraid anymore. I stopped being a puppet held strongly by strings of duty and pride. I don't have a jester anymore. I don't have to. Still, I told him nothing. I want to, though. I want to. But my rainbow's not here. It is hidden behind the darkest clouds, nursed in a valley of light where it must not stay put in a single spot, but can run free as it was meant to be.
I want my rainbow to ran out its Elysium and to me, though.
I want to be its Elysium, its Paradise.
I want it –him- to be mine.
I let out a sigh, reclining back on the couch, eyes closed, and mind far away.
"Ken?" I crack my eyes open, watching the shadows shifting on the ceiling, dancing at the rhythm of a waltz I fail to ear. I look at Miyako feeding several logs to the fire. Once she's satisfied that the blaze would be going strong for most of the coming night she turns toward me, eyes blazing. Like Daisuke's, yet not. "Why don't we go out?" She suggests, smiling gently as she rises to her feet and approaches me with elastic, long steps.
I just shake my head, facing downward so that my hair slides down to cover my face.
"Why not?" she insists, placing a hand on my shoulder, her breath wafting across my cheek. "We could have some fun."
"No." I reply, my voice barely above audibility.
"Why not?" she pouts, walking around the couch to smile at me. "Ken, dear, is your birthday, we should have fun…" she leaves her words hanging for a bit and then sits down on the arm of the couch, titling her head in a flirtatious manner.
"No…"
I dare looking at her for a brief moment, and find a mischievous smile curving up her painted lips. Despite the coldness, the darkness, of this night, Miyako's blinding with warmth and light. With life. How incredibly amusing. When Winter's icy fingers curl throughout the town, she comes back to life. When nature dies, she comes back to life.
The children's voices singing Christmas carols lift her spirits. The Christmas lights hanging, winking at the merry snowmen decorating the streets blanketed in milky white, make her face turn rosy, flushed with excitation as girlish dreams flood her heart.
I think I play the part of the prince charming in her dreams. I don't want to. I don't want to. I already have my prince. I've my knight in the shining armour ready to battle the dragons of memory when they begin howling too loud, condemning me to tortured nights of nightmares. I can't be her knight. My heart could shatter as easily as any fair maiden Miyako's could, if not more easily, and just like her, I need a saviour, I need a knight.
I can't be one.
I never was Daisuke's damsel though, like Miyako will never be mine. If anything, I'm… my rainbow's shadow. I'm the pot of gold that gazes adoringly at the rainbow, nestled at its feet. What I carry is not true gold, though. It's a bunch of gilded rocks, with a few plastic jewels put in to add to them, but without significance. Somehow, being filled with cheap rubbish is better than being empty, though. At least, I can say I've a soul, no matter how shoddy it is.
Since I couldn't be with my knight as his love, I vowed I'd be as his sword. Every knight needs a weapon, after all, and I want him to need *me*. Ken, the Kaiser, the puppet, the shadow, the plastic pot of gilded rocks… I just want him to need me, whatever me he wants me to be.
I'll be his sword. I'll be his weapon.
I'll be his.
I *am* his.
But, in the end, I'm nothing more than a mere human in love.
"Ken-chan, please…" Miyako purrs playfully, batting her eyelashes as she tries vainly to draw me out of my cocoon. It re-built itself when the clouds covered my rainbow. It may have glassy walls, but it's not going to fall. Not for Miyako. Not for her. The lock of my soul it's waiting for its key. A key I gifted to someone that isn't here. Someone that isn't Miyako.
"No." I shake my head, stubbornly, staring blankly at the flames dancing in the hearth, the gingery array of colours spilling over the room. A small sigh escapes my lips; everything around me is so familiar, done night after night. Her words are like the raindrops, twins in sound and constancy, repeating themselves over and over every night; her voice pummelling my heart as rain pummels the ground. I want the torture to stop. I want it to.
I want it to.
She lets my answer linger for a few moments, before cocking her head a little, looking at me with half-lidded eyes.
"Why not?" She asks, and I can feel the distress and annoyance and rage boiling underneath her collected tone. I watch her through my lashes, smelling the sweet cider scent of her breath. I look sideways at her forgotten mug before gazing at the flames once again, seeking shelter under the quilt.
"I… can't… leave. Not today. Not now."
"Why?" She repeats, eyes narrowed in suspicion. Suspicion that grows when the edges of my lips curve up in a smile.
"I must stay here. I must *wait* here…"
"No…." Her eyes are widening in horror, I can see it through the veil of purple of my hair.
"So that when he comes back, he'll find me."
"You can't be waiting for… for… him…" My answer is a slow nod, my smile tingeing with sweet happiness.
"He promised. He promised he'd be with me on my birthday until forever ended. I'm waiting for him."
"NO!" She shouts, staggering to her feet. Her face colours, her creamy skin tingeing with enraged red. "You CAN'T be waiting for him! You CAN'T!" She's looking at me with a mixture of concern and frustration and I almost relent. Almost. But then I'm reminded of the aching joy the sight of my rainbow brings me. And nothing could compare. Nothing could make me stop waiting for my rainbow to come.
Rainbows always come.
After rainstorms, they always do.
"He'll come… I can't leave…" I murmur, trying to shore up my commence.
"NO!" Anger is like the burst of a volcano inside Miyako, and she stabs an accusing glare at me. "Daisuke is GONE! Daisuke left us! He *LEFT* you! And you're still waiting for him?! No! I won't have it!"
"He promised…" is my only answer, whispered softly against my hands, curled over my knees.
"For God's sake! Face reality, Ken! Daisuke is not going to come here!"
"He promised!"
"He won't come!"
"He will!" I scream, my relaxed stance turning visibly tenser, and I curl in a ball of rage, my twitching stomach in the middle. Shakily, I open my eyes, shut tightly when I screamed, and look at my palms, rocking back and forth. "He promised… he'll come…"
Miyako tenses, her whole body radiating her internal anger. She clenches and unclenches her fists repeatedly, and I don't need to look up to know what kind of expression is twisting her usually gentle features. "You still believe he'll come to you, don't you?" she whispers, but it's more of a statement than of a question. Nevertheless I nod, focus diverged to my hands and I wrap my arms once again around my knees. I'm waiting for him. I'm loving him. An act that, when everything started, would have gained hearty approval from the Child of Love. Now, the very mentioning of it is enough to enrage her.
"You're being unrealistic, Ken." She spats, and I can do nothing but wince at the coldness of her voice. "Daisuke's gone. And he's not going to come back for some friggin' promise he made to you. He won't come back. Never."
"He will." Am I being unrealistic? Am I? I don't care. My words leave my mouth as a faint whisper, and Miyako giggles crudely at them. I consider briefly looking up at her, but soon her chocked laughter ends as she recognizes the giggle for what it is. Major distress. I nod idly to myself, and at the edge of my vision Miyako's face turns a deeper shade of red, like she isn't getting enough air. She gnaws at her lower lip, her jaw muscle quivering slightly and her fists tightening at her sides. It looks like she's chewing on whatever she's been planning to say and the words are too big be swallowed whole.
"You can't be serious." She tells me in a frustrated voice. I don't remember seeing her that frustrated before, but I can just shake my head, hiding my face between my knees, trying to become invisible to her. Trying to evade the burning stare burying a hole in my back. Trying to let go of reality for once and forever.
"Daisuke promised me." Just remember you are not alone, Ken. "He'd never break his vows." I'll be there for you no matter where you are. Let's make this our promise. Was Osamu the only one that would spend your birthday with you? From now on, I'll be with you always. And I swear you won't spend another birthday crying over being alone.
She flushes even darker and moves toward the window to stare at the darkened sky. Shaking her head, she lets a gurgling sound surge from her throat, and it takes me some time to recognize that chocked gush as laughter.
"A whole year… he left a whole year ago and you still…" then she shakes her head, hiding her face in a quivering palm. Her whole body shakes with bitter laughter and when she looks up at me, lavender hair swirling around her face, I'm surprised to see the flicker of pity in the flames of rage burning in her eyes. "He won't come, Ken. You can stay here waiting for him until hell freezes over, but he won't come."
I reel back, blinking quickly against the burning moisture filling my eyes and just shake my head, an action she mirrors immediately. "I don't care anymore, Ken. I *can't*. Daisuke won't come. And when you'll realize this too, I won't be here. I won't comfort you, nor mock you. I'm tired. Daisuke won't come. When you'll finally come to the truth that he left you, you know where to find us." 'Us', I note in a far corner of my mind; she said 'us', not 'me'. I nod, not sure anymore whether it is worth arguing. Not matter what she says, Daisuke will come. When the rain stops, rainbows fill the sky.
Always.
Forever.
Doesn't she know?
She grabs her jacket off a chair as she stomps past it, and then he walks to the door, letting it slam shut behind her with a noise that resembles sickeningly a blast. I stand from my spot, pulling the quilt tighter around me and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, walking toward the window to follow Miyako as she disappears into a hazy mix of grey and white.
They say pain is good for the soul. That whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger. At least that's what I always told myself after Daisuke left. At least that's why I'm telling myself now. I don't think I ever told you this Miyako, and in fact, I don't think I've ever told anyone, but after Daisuke left, I used to lie awake at night, staring at the ceiling and just waiting for him to come back. Just listening to the rain pummelling on the roof and wishing with all the undying faith of a child for a rainbow to come.
Of course, it never did. But I never stopped trying. I just stopped crying over my lost rainbow, but since tears no longer flown, the sky began crying for me, and the rain thickened.
I hate it.
It covers my rainbow.
It delays its arrive.
But no matter how late, rainbows always come. You know that, don't you Miyako? Don't you? I do. I do. I love Dai with my entire heart. And he will come back. To me. To us. To *me*. Sometimes love isn't enough, but I've faith. I've hope. And I'll boil myself my rainbow's colours in Osamu's black cauldron is that's what it takes to see the clear sky again.
When will I realize that Daisuke isn't training at the soccer camp where he and 'Ken' first met, you ask? Never. When will I realize he left and won't come back? Never.
"Never."
He often told me he'd be by my side forever. He promised me that, no matter how tough the going got, no matter how incredible the odds were, he'd spend with me each and every birthday till I grew old and toothless. That he'd made of it *our* sacred day. Ours.
And he didn't lie.
Every year since that promise has been the same. We would decorate my apartment, adorning the ceiling with strings of lights, distributing a sprig of mistletoe here and there to hang down on unsuspicious bystanders, as sweet songs filled our ears with liquid bliss. And as smells of evergreen and cider filled my nostrils I would regard the mistletoe longingly, wanting and fearing the day we'd stand under it together.
Such a sweet torture it was.
And we would run and roll in the snow, catching snowflakes with our tongues, singing whispered lullabies to each other when the moon claimed its place in the starry sky. And there was no rain. Never rain. No clouds. No shadows, no puppets and no darkness. There were only rainbows, and knights and swords, and muffled laughter and shared secrets.
And I wished I could build my prince a castle as a sign of my devotion. I wished he would stare at me as I was not his dear weapon, that he protected and was protected from, but his maiden; his love. And we would sleep together, lost in an embrace only the rays of the sun would break. And there would be no rain. Only rainbows and clear skies.
Every year.
Every year.
One is never conscious of the closest things in your life being so valuable until they're gone. I miss these days. I miss them so much it kills me. But we made a promise. A special promise to hold on to him by. My heart always reassures and psyches me into thinking I'll see him again, eventually. But for the past year Miyako's tried disheartening me by telling me he wasn't –isn't– going to come back. But I know she's wrong.
I know it.
Rainbows always come. I've discovered this more and more to be true ever since the day Daisuke became my rainbow.
I dream of him coming back to me. I dream of us walking the beaches to catch the sunrise, and lay in the grass and watch the stars twinkle at night with thousand of rainbows to watch over us from the heavens. I just want him to be here. I want him to be by my side tonight, as well as the rest of my life.
Daisuke… the only birthday present I can ask… I want to ask… is you, here, with me. Is you, Daisuke. You. I need our bond, our closeness, our friendship. I need the smile you saved only for me, I need your courage, your friendship. I need you, Daisuke. I need you.
A small cracking sound gradually awakes me to reality, and as I turn sleepily toward the door, the old ratty blanket I've been using pools at my feet, feather soft. The old pavement cries softly under the weight moving over it, each little moan making my heart speed up. Enfolded in a haze of anticipation, I step forward, my every step echoing one of the faint thumps coming from outside the door. It resembles faintly the sound of a heart beating gently, and my own steps echo the sweet thumping - a beat for a beat.
The sound settles in the back of my mind, finding that secret corner where Daisuke's heartbeat thrums in memory and entwines with it like a lover would. Slowly, hesitantly, I place trembling palms to the russet wood, almost feeling the heat of the palms pressed against mine behind this barrier. The noise of steps is gone now, but it's replaced by the much more reassuring and thrilling sound of two hearts thumping steadily at the same rhythm.
After a moment that tastes like eternity there is a brisk knock at the door and, without even realizing it, I reach down to curl a hand round the doorknob. My heart is a rushing roar in my ears, and I'm beginning to feel slightly dizzy, almost in tears at my sudden realization. Daisuke…
After some hesitation I yank the door open, and indeed Daisuke's here, clad in black clothes, burgundy spikes framing his amber face. The flame of courage I love so much sparkles and flickers in his eyes, even though he seems to be hesitant. His fingers busy the golden chain that hangs around his neck as his lips twitch, gifting me one of those smiles I missed so much. And the motion is enough to make my heart flutter. He kept his promise… and suddenly rain stops falling and lets the rainbow fill the sky with translucent strokes of colour.
Our hands come up together, our fingers intertwining softly as our voices whisper our names in unison. The world seems to stop, to hang still, as auburn and amethyst meet, savouring the faint whisper of our breaths mingling. His fingers squeeze mine lightly, and I gaze up at him adoringly, my face flushed and my eyes burning. Hesitantly, lips again move in perfect sync to utter a soft plea that has once again the shape of our names.
He returned to me.
"Daisuke…" My voice cracks and stammers as I speak. And as I try in vain to keep from crying in front of him, Daisuke takes me into his arms and holds me close. I let out a soft gasp as our bond bursts into full life, pouring emotions and sensation to one soul to the other as my heart sings in bliss. Is like being washed with light. Like floating over warm currents. Like being hugged by a rainbow.
The scent of cider curls around me, and entwining with the warmth of Daisuke's body, it makes me sleepy. I gently hold him back, hiding my face in his chest.
"I missed you." I whisper softly, threading my fingers through his hair. "I missed you so much…" Daisuke chuckles, and pulls me away gently, moving stray locks of purple from my eyes. "Miyako said you wouldn't come. She kept saying you would have left me alone tonight."
"I promised. No matter how far we are, I'm always by your side, Ken." He whispers heartedly, reaching down to touch his lips to my forehead. I find myself leaning into the touch, his scent of cinnamon tantalizing my senses and elevating me to a state of utter bliss.
I'm not unaware of the cold shiver running down my back though, and nor is Daisuke. Slowly, he moves, and releases me to turn around and push the door close. I don't want to let go of him yet, so I trail my fingers gently down his back as he retreats, feeling shocks running down my body. My eyes never leave him, and as he turns to face me again, I know by the way he smiles that they're giving out the joy I feel right now. He slowly leans his back against the door, trapping outside all the coldness, all the rain, as any faithful rainbow would do for its pot of gold. As any knight would do for his cherished weapon, to keep it from getting rusty.
Am I rusty?
Am I rusting?
Am I?
Daisuke smiles at me, tipping his head to a side and looking at me through his lashes. Surprisingly, he says nothing for long instants, his smile turning lopsided as he angles his head down a little, sliding farther down against the door. Everything is quiet for a long time, and I dare casting a look at the moon glittering between dark wisps of flat clouds, stretching liquid silver through the opalescent scenario. Few drops fall from the sky, coming to kiss gently their glistening sisters lying on the ground. The horizon is a blurred line of silver under the pastel sky, but the earth is dark, dusky.
I swallow a gasp as Daisuke moves his back from the door, blue bangs falling over my eyes as my head swirls around.
"Ne, Ken," he says, eyes closed and face twisted in a content smirk. "Everything's just perfect." His lids flutter open and when they lay on me, they're almost grateful. "Like I remembered it. Even the little details." I grin back at him, of course, but I can't help it, my smile's sad.
"I tried. But without you here, it's not the same."
Time slows down again; it does have this particularity when I'm with Daisuke. It either slows down or accelerates incredibly, but never, *never* moves at its right pace. Does it do it to torment me or to please me? I'm not sure. I want time to slow down so much that minutes become years, so that I'd be allowed to be with Daisuke forever, then.
Is this the unrealistic behaviour of mine Miyako was talking about?
I don't care.
Daisuke's here, I don't care.
With feline elasticity, Daisuke leaps forward, reaching out to poke to the tip of my nose.
"Of course it is not, you silly." I feel my face heating up, the secure indication of a blush, and nod at him my confusion. "The packets piled under the tree, the beeping lights, the mistletoe, the glittering Angels hanging from the roof, the fire… our song." He utters, expecting his surroundings with care, and then lets our eyes meet again. "But you forgot the chocolate cake, Ken." He whispers softly, his voice failing to gain that mocking quality you would have expected it to. I smile, leaning a bit into the touch, and my lips caress his face as I exhale, eyebrows drawing together as I lower my lids a little.
"I can't cook Dai, you know it. Without you…"
"I know." He tells me softly, replacing his hand with his face, so that –for a brief moment– I can breathe his essence.
His black lashes sweep down onto his cheeks as his eyes disappear behind their lids momentarily. He's smiling, a rueful half smile that just makes me lean closer, slowly. His breath has as a faint scent of chocolate to it, and adding to the cider smell gliding in the air, it makes me drowsy, dangerously sleepy. My eyes flutter closed as well as his, a smile touching my lips as gentle warmth encloses my body. Warm, I'm so warm. Both in body and soul.
Minute drops of time fall before I become aware of a slight breath of air across my lips, asking my eyes to look at Daisuke once more. Eyes still closed, head tilted to one side, he's blowing softly across my mouth, lips parted, and my back arches in a sudden shiver. My breath is instantly taken away, held captive by the mad beating of my heart, and I find myself wondering for the millionth time why he can't see how stunningly beautiful he really is, how much inner radiance he keeps, he that has been searching to catch a sparkle of Light for his whole life.
A strange feeling seeps into my mind, making me lose my grip on reality, and I can do nothing but lean close. But then Daisuke pulls away. I miss already the feeling of his breath against my face, but the feeling of his fingers curling around my hand almost makes up for it. Almost.
"Come with me." He laughs quietly, walking backward and dragging me gently with him. "I won't let you have a birthday that's not perfect."
"Perfect… as only you can make it." I smile, eyes brimming with burning moisture.
"Us, Ken." He hushes me softly. "*Us*."
* * * * *
Across the kitchen counters are scattered various ingredients -flour in particular. A large chocolate cake is baking in the oven at this very moment, the soft clicking of the round clock accompanying it as it raises slowly. The sweet essence of chocolate embeds itself into the air and blends with the cider creating the most delightful, languid aroma. And there's warmth. So much of it.
Pine fills my senses as I watch Daisuke picking the spoon up out of the jar of chocolate syrup, and lazily letting the sweet cream still clinging to the spoon drizzle back into its container.
"You've never been really fond of chocolate." He whispers suddenly, shattering the silence with a soft tune that's not unpleasant at all.
"You love it, though." I reply, leaning across the table and toward him. I feel languid, incredibly so, and this sleepiness is like blissful torture to me. Daisuke's reply is a sly grin, and he begins moving the spoon in circles inside the jar, before holding it out to me. Gently, he traces a wet, dark line of chocolate over my bottom lip.
I part my lips hesitantly, making sure to look up at him from under splay bangs, and he gently immerses the spoon in my mouth, all the time pinning me down with a look of incredible intensity. Amethyst orbs close slowly as the sugary syrup coats my tongue, further relaxing me as my heart throbs madly.
"It's not the only thing." He whispers softly as he moves away, and my lids flutter up. Once again the spoon is presented to me, but this time Daisuke's silently inviting me to take it from his hand to feed him. Taking a spoonful of chocolate out of the jar and scraping the bottom of the spoon to keep it from dripping, he holds it out to me, silently. I don't need him to say anything as I take the offered spoon and gently hold it to his lips, teasing them lightly as he's done before.
Outside, the clouds are floating by. The wind is sleeping. Along the streets I used to run through as a child, I can picture rainbow hued flowers blooming and singing, bringing early Spring to the land. In the sky above, the moon is shining in sober glory as tinkling stars are granting wishes. I already have my wish granted. Even if it will be only for one night, I've Daisuke back.
Tomorrow doesn't count.
Yesterday never did.
All that matters is today.
This night.
This moment.
Letting myself go in the aura of calm that has engrossed us both, I watch with rapture as the spoon slides between his lips. I can feel him licking and sucking a little at the metal, a concentrated expression playing over his features. Slowly, I began retreating, and for a moment Daisuke follows my hand, bending slightly over the table. Looking at me through his lashes, auburn eyes now open, he gives the spoon a final lick and then lets me slide it out his mouth. I don't understand… it seems like he's trying to be tempting and sensual. And he succeeding since, right now, my knight is attracting the poor metal of this sword like a magnet would.
I watch him run his tongue over his lips leisurely, accomplishing the motion with languor and yet sensually. How long I have wanted this, how many dreams I've had of Daisuke like this, sensual, tempting, mine… how my heart aches for more…
"Is it?" I ask, resting the spoon back in the jar and stirring its content lazily. "What else is here that you love, then?"
I don't need to ask. Daisuke's not the one that kept his feelings secret out of fear. I'm not the one that had the courage to bare his feelings to the world. I know he loves me. I know it. He won't tell me openly; nevertheless, in this game of charades I'm the one who's advantaged, because I know about what he feels, while he still ignores my own feelings.
He doesn't answer, though. And it seems like every minute that passes I am less brave, my heart thumping faster and faster, my vision a little blurrier. At last, a shrieked thrill gives me an answer, and Daisuke sighs and arise to his feet, smothering his shirt. I watch him silently as he works, opening the oven door and peering in at first, then taking a dishtowel from the counter to pull the cooking rack out, before adorning the cake with coconut icing. I lose cognition of time as I watch him busying himself with the cake, smiling sleepily at him.
God, I love him.
Please, don't make him leave again.
I'd do anything to stay with him forever.
Anything.
"A gift for my drowsy Prince…" Daisuke whispers as he advances toward me, laying a plate with a steaming-hot piece of cake on the table. I smile to my self, strangely flattered that my Prince raised his lowly weapon to his own level.
"I already have my gift…" I whisper, still trapped in a sweet lethargy, as I open my arms for him. He shakes his head, overlooking my request, and grins, leaving me to pout over not being held.
"Open your mouth…" He hovers over me, breathing heavily. His breath smells strongly of chocolate and cinnamon, flooding my senses with a renewed tepidness as I comply. So warm… I feel so warm…
Gently, he brushes a hot piece of cake lightly over my bottom lip, where he traced the cold chocolate earlier. The divergent sensation cause my once relaxed body to tense up slowly, for the contrast of hot and cool is ecstasy and torture at the same time, and causes the air on my arms to become bristled with goose bumps.
Slowly Daisuke slides the cake into my mouth, letting me suck on one of his fingers too. Running my tongue along his chocolate-covered finger I stare at him, my hands cupping around his own to keep him from moving away as I recline back. He doesn't intend to pull away, though. He just stares back at me as I roll my tongue gently around his finger, his eyes dark and light at the same time, grave and happy at once.
"I missed you." I repeat as I finally let go of him. "I missed you."
"I know," he murmurs, reaching for another piece of cake. "I know."
* * * * *
Daisuke abandons himself on the couch, an arm tucked under his head. His feet dangle from the divan, swinging back and forth like a child's, and on his face huge dark eyes shine pleadingly. With a giggle, I go back to my previous activity, searching through my bookcase for out photo album. My eyes light up as I find it, black and huge, halfway through the shelves.
"I found it…" I whisper to him. As I reduce the distance between us with little steps, I see his eyes widen in childlike delight, and when he swings his feet off the edge of the couch I make myself comfortable between them on the floor, laying back into his warmth as he embraces me gently. The warmth of his body sears me even through our clothes, and I let him know my bliss with a sigh that ends like a shuddering moan when he noses my purple hair off my neck, brushing his lips against my skin several times in the process.
Daisuke chuckles quietly, rubbing his nose against my neck. "What was that?" he coos teasingly, hugging me tighter.
"Stop teasing…" I reply, but it came out half as outraged as I wanted it to, and I can do nothing but settle in his arms, but because there is nowhere else in the world I could want to be.
"Mm, yeah, what you said," He replies, almost purring, his lips resting over my lobe this time. After a moment, he leans back a little, auburn eyes searching the book nestled onto my lap. I carefully open it, feeling Daisuke sigh softly as the images come by one after another in a kaleidoscope of colours and reminisced feelings.
The pictures of the two of us taken in the Digital World, after the defeat of the Kaiser, come and go by. Countless pictures of us playing soccer, or wandering across the city follow closely, like little fragments of a shattered mirror. Then come pictures of the two of us sitting on a railing, facing the most breathtaking sunset I ever saw as it kisses softly a quiet river. And –of course– pictures of my birthdays, spent always and happily in Daisuke's arms.
A whole life moves in front of our eyes, a life that –in truth– is nothing but two lives intertwined so tightly to create a single tread. Windows to our past run in front of our eyes, secured to yellowish aged foils. But, right now, they're nothing but memories of a different life. A life in which I was happy. In which I shared every single breath with Daisuke.
I want to go back to those days.
I was so happy…
*We* were so happy.
We keep peering through this now stranger life, glancing at infinite memories of two young boys. Reminiscing days of a love never declared, but still felt so deeply it burned. Of a love so pure it didn't need to be admitted aloud to enclose us. A love still alive, despite never being known by the world. Some of these images make me want to cry. Some make me want to laugh.
One…
One is the one taken before we had to say goodbye. It is a picture Daisuke and me entwined in each other's arms on a digital beach. We're both smiling, his arm flung casually around my shoulder, my own wrapped around his waist. Next to it, written in a neat calligraphy, a poem glitters in gold. I never noticed how –despite his lips being curved up in a smile– sadness veils his eyes.
I sink my teeth into my bottom lip, trying to swallow the sob that is working its way loose from my mouth and the tears staring to well up in my eyes. This is like a dream, a haze in my mind. I've what I want, and this seems unreal enough to make my heart ache, fearing this is just another reverie in a rainy night. Am I about to wake up into a rainy morning, lone and cold? Am I?
Or I'm already awake? Am I awake? I thought waking came with the morning; it's still dark here. It's dark and it's cold and it still must be night because I'm dreaming. Daisuke's here. And Daisuke's back. And Daisuke's with me. And Daisuke's mine.
Cold lips pressed against my neck suddenly pull me out my daze, making this dream of mine quite real, and the scrapbook slides off my lap.
"You've been awfully quiet." Daisuke whispers huskily in my ear. Shaking my head, stray locks fall into my face, tickling lightly my nose, but before I can reach up and brush them away Daisuke slips his fingers through the blue bangs, sliding them gently across my face.
"Is just…" I blink back tears, running my fingers across our picture. "Why did you leave me, Dai?" I utter brokenly, feeling my rainbow tense up at my question.
After a moment he relaxes again, leaning down to hug me tighter and rub his cheek against mine. "You know why. I had to." I nod, not trusting my voice, fingering softly the image of our past happiness. Daisuke smiles, I can feel it even without looking at him, and I reach up and behind me to run my fingers through his air, smoothing the wild spikes gently.
My fingertips brush the side of his neck, and when they meet with the cold sensation of metal they stop, brining new tears to my already burning eyes.
"You… kept it?" I ask, but it's difficult for me to talk. I find myself to be out of breath, like the air around me had thickened and wouldn't run down my lungs. I tip my head to look up at Daisuke and he nods at me, smiling softly. I gaze lovingly up at him as he reaches down to unclasp the fastening of his necklace and pools the chain in my palm, closing my fingers gently around it. Just like I did when I gave it to him. Just like I did when we said goodbye.
"That was your gift to me Ken, how could I not?" He smiles as I let the golden chain play about through my fingers before reaching for the pendant and holding it in front of my eyes.
My birthday present to him. The only one I had the chance to buy him before he went away. A golden chain and a pendant representing the Crest of Friendship and Courage merged together to create a unique symbol. *His* symbol. He's the most courageous person I know, the best of friends, despite what he may think of himself, and I needed to show him somehow. The blade could have been blunt at that time, rusty at the edges after the Kaiser-storm had it, but it was not broken, and it knew its duty as protector.
It was both amazing and saddening for the dulled weapon to see how its knight overlooked how perfect he was, and that crest was the only way it found to tell him about his preciousness. Unknown to him, though, craved carefully on the other face of the medal, a minute crest of Kindness shines gently. Kindness and Courage and Friendship united forever in an unbreakable hug of gold. *Real* gold, not a cheap imitation like the metal my soul -my blade- is made of.
"You made sure I had it with me before I left…" He says with a small chuckle, resting his forehead in the hollow of my neck. "And I'd never leave it behind." My fingers curl around the chain softly as I choke out a sob, smiling and crying at the same time. I shake my head, voice growing softer and more cautious, fingertips playing across the shiny jewel.
"Daisuke…Tell me… tell me this night can last forever." Again he freezes, moving away to the warmth our joined body had created together.
I dreaded this lack of contact. And right now I despite it, for it hurts like nothing else. I release the breath I hadn't realized holding when Daisuke presses his forehead against my back and shakes his head resignedly.
"It can't, Ken."
"But you…" Unwanted tears begin swelling in my eyes, my throat tightening around my own words to the point I had to fight to utter my broken query. "Will you… go away when the morning comes?"
"I have to."
"Will you…" I lick my lips hesitantly. Coward. "Will you… bring me with you, at least?" I wait for his answer, but I already know it, as well as I know he won't say it aloud. "It's not fair." I swallow, shutting my eyes close against the tears. "I wish--" He puts a finger over my lips, the coldness of it making me stir and arch, inhaling sharply.
"Shh---Don't torment us both with impossible wishes." I kiss the finger that restrains me as I reach up to entwine our fingers together. His other hand slides down my chest slowly, leisurely, coming to a rest over my beating heart, as if to make sure our heartbeats are still echoing each other.
"I don't want you to go, Daisuke." I sounds petulant even to my own ears, but I can't help tormenting myself. I want him to stay! I want him to stay!
"I don't want to go either." God, how I love him. I want him to stay. I want him to. I want him.
"But it's not morning yet." He adds softly, his voice lighting up with childlike hope. "We still have a little while." He whispers softly, his breath hot against my ear as he slides down the couch and onto the floor, trapping me with his arms and legs gently. He tightens his embrace, holding me even closer and rocking me back and forth slightly, like a child in need of comfort. My eyes slip shut again as I raise my arms to wrap them around his neck, resting my head against his shoulder.
I don't want to be alone again.
I don't want.
Tipping my head back I plant a soft kiss on his chin.
Somehow I won't.
I know I won't.
I won't let it happen.
* * * * *
The night is quickly giving room to dawn and soon the sun's rays will flood through the streets. I snuggle closer to Daisuke, seeking comfort and yet giving it, for he seems to need comforting so much more than me. I feel something graze my cheek, and when Daisuke's hand slides down to cup my chin, I find myself looking up with glistening eyes to see the creature that haunts me night and day smiling down at me softly.
He tips his head down so he can rub his nose along my jaw, holding me even closer. I turn into his arms, and when our eyes lock, neither wants to look away. One of my hands gently locks on his cheek, while the other wanders down Daisuke's neck and across his chest to stop where I can feel his heart pounding beneath my touch. He does the same, his eyes never leaving mine. I gaze at him longingly, nestled in his arms, when a small smile curves up my lips.
"Stay with me… please…" He doesn't answer me, but instead wipes away the dewdrops rolling down my cheeks. I had forgotten about them until now, and suddenly feel ashamed, nibbling softly at my bottom lip. Tears never do any good; they only make the people around you look down at you with pity.
But…
Rainbows are made of drops, aren't they? The glistening tears of the sky capture the light and refract it in a multitude of hues that eventually merge in a rainbow. Can my tears be the source of my rainbow? Will Daisuke stay if I cry forever? Will he? Will he?
"Please…"
"I can't help it, Ken. You know it." I know. I know. We have no choice. We never had. But I can't accept it.
"You don't care about what I feel!" I cry out, curling my hands in his shirt and using my grip as a support to shake him, bringing our face closer. My face burns, and my eyes and chest do too. I can feel his pendant press against my palm painfully, but I'm past physical pain. My heart hurts too much to let me care about such little thing as blood streaming down my hand. Doesn't he know there can't be a pot of gold without a rainbow to shine over it? Doesn't he know no sword could resist the grip of rust if its Knight leaves it? Doesn't he know I can't live without him?
"You said to trust you! You said you'd never hurt me! And you don't know how much it would hurt me to have you gone! You don't even care! You don't even love me!" I hear myself say. He swings me in his arms, hiding his face in my hair.
"Don't ever say that! Never!" I've never heard a voice so utterly outraged before. It sends icy chills to chase each other down my spine even as I'm strangely excited to hear it. His pure shock can mean only one thing. That he cares… He *cares*…
"Ken… you must know I…" As I move away, my finger touches his lips, like his has done before, effectively silencing him. He gawks at me, confused. "But Ken, I--"
"I know, Daisuke." I smile at him, cuddling him gently. "I love you too."
Countless kisses are rained across my jaw and neck. They're burning and breathtaking, nothing like the simple brush of lips he's teased me with before. Why couldn't he have let me go with him? He said he'd be with me forever… God, I love him… Let him stay… do you exist, God? Then let him stay.
Let. Him. Stay.
His hands begin caressing me, trying to soothe my frayed nerves as I worm deeper into his warmth. He's whispering and cooing at me whenever his lips neglect my skin. Nor his touch, or his breathe, or his lips matter. All that matters are his words.
"I love you." Daisuke doesn't say it out loud, but in such a sweet whisper I can hear simultaneously in my head and out. If can feel the sob gathering in my throat to choke off my reply as I nod, and begin stroking his thick hair, his face. Underneath the sift strokes are the questions of why he didn't come back earlier; why he wouldn't let me reach him.
His arms snake around my waist as I crane my neck backwards to offer him more skin to torture to his pleasure, my lips parting in the act. But the embrace is too stiff; something's wrong. I draw back and peer down in misery until, kissing my forehead, he cups my chin and lifts it to make me look into his eyes. He has such beautiful eyes…
"I've to get going, Ken." Tears blur my vision as I obstinately hug him to my chest. He let just the smallest sob out, his hands catching my forearms and gently bringing them between us, like to make of them a barrier. Tears leave hot trails across my cheeks as I stare at him pinning my wrists against my chest, effectively pushing me away. A single tear slides down his cheek and vanishes beneath his chin, and as I watch it roll and glitter, something inside me breaks.
Realization sweeps over me, like icy rain piercing through the tepid fog in my mind. Everything suddenly flares into clarity to me, and I finally begin to comprehend something I had denied myself before. Daisuke's going to leave me again. Again. My lips quivering, I'm tempted to restrain him, no matter the scars I could leave on both his body and heart with my childish behaviour, but a look in his damp eyes, bottomless and filled with love, reduces my reaction to a sleepy, sad smile.
"I know."
Daisuke mirrors my smile, bringing one of my hands up to his touch his lips to it, softly. I can only watch him as he smothers my palm with sweet kisses, murmuring softly his endless love. I know, Dai. Oh God, I know. I love you too.
"Daisuke…" Hearing his name, my Knight looks up at me, pressing my palm to his cheek. His eyes seem to hold so much questions, but I shake my head with a smile, trailing my hand down his face in a shooting caress, my eyes closing briefly and then opening again and focusing on him. "Please… at least… would you… will you… kiss me, before you go?"
Abruptly, he lets me go and rises to his feet, dragging himself toward the window. My eyes flash a sense of hurt, but he can't see it, with his back turned toward him and his focus diverged to something that isn't me. My dream is starting to become like my real life… a nightmare. I follow him as he moves, a hurt statement over my face, but it quickly fades into one of sorrow as I see the first rays of sun flood the sky with golden radiance. He's going to leave. He's going to… no, no, no! No… no…
"Dai…" I sniffle, wondering in a corner of my mind if that hurt, trembling murmur was really my voice, and not the sound of something breaking. My heart maybe? Or it is already broken?
"Ken, I… can't." What is he saying? What? What?
"I love you."
"I love you." He whispers back, his voice almost drowned in the sound of my shuddering breathing. His words became fog over the window, where everything is reversed except for them. "I…" He turns around then, his face betraying nothing of his thoughts. It is void of any expression. His eyes are watery and hurt, though. And I can see what could be tear tracks on his cheeks, except that I knew he hasn't been crying. He looks so fragile right now. I want to help him. I want to.
"But I… I can't kiss you and then leave you behind again. It's just… I… I can't, Ken. You understand that, don't you? I can't." Is he saying…? Is he? Is he? My breath catches painfully in my chest, my heart tightening, and I almost choke on my own breath. Is the nightmare becoming a dream again? Is it? Is it?! I crawl toward him, on my hands and knees at first, and then rise to my feet with infinite slowness. Dewdrops cling to my lashes as I blink. With each of my step my hair dangles right and left, waltzing in front of my eyes to veil my sight and then sliding away to let me watch him through blurred eyes.
As I approach, his face tinges with confusion. I smile at the flicker of uncertainty crossing his face as I cradle his head with my arms, my lips hovering toward his.
"Then take me with you."
"Ken…" He begins trembling, his arms rising toward me and then falling back again only to repeat the same, wavering moves in an endless carousel, unable to curl around my shivering form. Some of my excitation must have spread into him since I can feel his breath and heartbeat speed up, nearly matching my own quick rate. Touching my lips against his neck as softly as I would rose petals, I let my breath waft across his skin, then brushing my eyelashes over the same spot in butterfly kisses. Raising my head from his neck I catch his searching gaze as he slowly tips his head down to face me. The golden sunlight is reflected in his eyes, adding to the crimson undertone they hold. He gazes at me questioningly as I regard him lovingly, lifting my arms gingerly from his shoulders to run a hand through his hair.
He blinks leisurely down at me, as if awakening from a sweet dream. Gently, I reach down for his arms and secure one around my waist, then I take my time to rest his other hand on my shoulders. "I wanted to follow you so badly when you left, Dai." I whisper truthfully, feeling Daisuke tighten the embrace hesitantly, trailing one arm down my arms and back up again, finally guiding me toward his chest. "But I thought you didn't want me with you."
"Ken, I…" I don't let him finish, offering my lips to him.
"Please Daisuke, please don't leave me, I love you, I'll do anything just please don't leave me. Even if you don't take me with you, I'll follow you. So, please…"
Silently, he pulls our chest together hard enough so that our hearts are now beating against each other, echoing one another. And this time, feelings his arms around me, I find myself shivering softly.
"Close your eyes…" he utters, breathless, and I comply, feeling his breath travel across my face. It brushes my forehead, and then drifts over my eyelids, and there he pauses to kiss them softly. Then, cold moisture flows across my cheeks and down my lips, where it comes to a rest for a moment in which I can do nothing but bask in his presence, revelling in the warm and anxious feeling spreading through me. I want so much more than Daisuke's breath tickling my lips, though.
"Come with me…" he whispers huskily before capturing my mouth with his, velvet soft, and time stops, the world itself holding its breath. Daisuke's lips have this ambrosial flavour to them that just makes me hungry for more. And more. And more. I gently recline my head back, touching my tongue to his bottom lip in a silent plea. His mouth writhes deliciously under my touch and soon it is fully open for me to taste, to memorize, to adore.
His tongue greets mine with a fervour that elevates our sweet, first kiss to new levels of passion, pouring the liquid fire of our concealed emotion to one mouth to another and back in a heated dance of passion. My arms slide off his shoulder, dangling lifelessly at my sides as I offer him more and more of my mouth, leaning back against the arm wrapped around my waist and enjoying the immense sensation washing over me. A lone tear slides down from my closed eyes to feed our kiss.
I realize numbly he's gently guiding us toward the couch only with my legs connect with it. Daisuke lets his weight push us both down until my head is pillowed over the arm of the couch. Is then that he pulls away, looking down at me as I tremble madly, my teeth chattering with the motion. Tenderly, he wipes purple tendrils away from my clammy forehead and my shivers double, making me arch sharply against him. I can't control my body anymore. Right now, only Daisuke can. The pale resemblance of control I had before is fading away, flooding out my body with each shiver. Taking my hand in his, Daisuke places my arms around his neck, and with a swift movement he leans down to claim my lips as his.
I shiver, and he moves away, hiding his face in the hollow of my neck. I peer behind his shoulders to the rainbow glittering in the now azure sky, and I raise trembling fingers to the shimmering vision. Glittering between my fingers, there's his necklace and the joined symbols of Friendship and Courage and Kindness sway gently in the sunlight. Joined… forever.
I move my mouth, trying to gain back enough control over my actions and sensations to make him look at our rainbow. *Our* rainbow. But I can't. Breathing is difficult enough, and talking is an action beyond my power, and I can do nothing but keep on watching at the blurring colour of our rainbow. *Our* rainbow.
I have a faint remembrance of someone telling me that after every storm there's a rainbow. You just have to have faith and open your eyes, and you'll see it.
Osamu told me that.
Afterwards, after every storm, I would go and look for a rainbow in the sky. And it would be there, like my brother had promised me, just like he had put that glittering arc in the sky only for my delight. For the longest time I thought he really did. In my child's mind Osamu could boil liquid colours in a dark cauldron and then paint the sky for me, only for me.
I have a faint remembrance of someone telling me that after every storm there's a rainbow. You just have to have faith and open your eyes, and you'll see it.
Osamu told me that, but I never knew what it really meant before Daisuke taught me.
Now, after every storm, I will go and look for a rainbow in the sky. And it will be there, like my brother had promised me, because Daisuke will put that glittering arc in the sky only for my delight. He'll boil liquid colours in Osamu's dark cauldron and then paint the sky for me, only for me.
And only for me my rainbow has come, like Osamu told me.
Daisuke's with me, as he promised.
Rainbows always come.
After every storm, they always do.
Daisuke nibbles gently at my neck and I lose all my force, letting my hand crumble down, dangling off the edge of the couch as he crushes our bodies closer together. My already swimming vision blurs even more, and takes a dive to blackness; I'm barely aware as arms hold me tighter, enclosing me in an unbreakable embrace. He loves me. He'll love me forever.
Forever.
Always.
Like he promised.
Forever.
* * * * *
Later that morning, when Miyako reached Ken's apartment to comfort him over not spending his birthday with Daisuke as he had wished, she was surprised to find the door slightly open, like two lips whispering unheard words. Like a mute invitation to go and peer into a world of dreams. Like the gateway to heaven.
Or to hell.
Frowning to herself at the still quietude swaying in the air, she let herself in with silent steps, closing the door noiselessly behind her and taking her time to study her surrounding as she laid her back against it. 'Cold' was the first word that came to her mind.
The room was so cold.
Unbelievably so.
Shivers ran down her spine as she approached the boy sleeping on the couch, alone, and she could do nothing to stop a pitiful smile curving up her lips. He was alone. As she told him, he was alone.
Alone… yet…
Smiling. He was smiling, she realized. And wet, he was wet too. Small drops traced glittering trails down his pale face. Teardrops? She asked herself. No, was her answer. Dewdrop. Like the ones that capture the sunlight to refract it in billionths little fragments of colour and create a rainbow. Someone told her something about rainbows and the pots of gold nestled at their feet, but she could not focus on her own though, so stranger, so seemingly put inside her mind by someone else who wasn't her.
Cold… wet… cold…
This isn't right, she thought, he must be freezing. Taking a deep breath and holding it, she turned her gaze at his sleeping form and with heavy steps reached his side. Her legs gave out and she was suddenly on her knees, brushing gently stray locks of purple from his damp face. Oh gods, he was so cold.
Even her tears were cold. They ran down her cheeks and splashed silently onto the ground, but she expected them to froze and thump softly against the pavement, for it was so cold. Too cold. Ken's hand was cold as it hung from the edge of the couch, and inside his palm something glowered quietly, cold, as if capturing all the light in the room. Like a rainbow, she thought distantly when she fingered the shiny jewel, not daring to take it from Ken's hand.
It was Daisuke's necklace; the one Ken had brought to him. The one Ken had given him only when it was too late, placing it gently inside Daisuke's hand and curling his dark fingers around it, to let him have something to remember him by.
Just next to Ken's hand, a scrapbook laid forgotten, the crest of Daisuke's necklace casting a pale shadow over its open pages. Carefully, Miyako reached up to finger the golden words of the suddenly heart-wrenching song.
It won't rain all the time.
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall forever.
It can't rain all time.
If the people we love are take from us,
We should never stop to love them.
Houses burn, people die.
But true love is forever.
And just under it, added in blood red, it said,
Rainbows always come.
ALWAYS.
After swallowing, Miyako looked up with watery eyes at the window, gasping softly as the incredibly huge rainbow flickered a couple of times before dissolving into nothingness, leaving a trail of crystal dewdrops behind to gleam in the gentle radiance of the sun.
One hand waltzing up to her mouth, Miyako cast a last glance at Ken. So pale he was, as icy water kept trailing down his face to die on the rim of his damp shirt. He looked so peaceful. He looked just like a beautiful porcelain doll. So lovely, even in death. But he was gone. She shook him gently, as if by shaking him, she could bring him back. Shocked at the coldness of his skin, loud sobs escaped her lips. Like ice, it was. Miyako's eyes blurred as she started crying again. It had been a year since Daisuke had died and now… now… she would never again hear Ken talk, laugh, see him smile, get angry…
But, somehow, she knew it was all right.
Somehow she knew Daisuke came.
After all, she must have known.
Rainbows always come.
After the rain, they always do.
Didn't you know?
End.
