CHAPTER 3: SHINGO AND SAKURA GET IT ON

CHAPTER 3: BATTLE OF THE DESCIPLES

bIt's the second day, and the qualifying rounds are already in progress. Ryu, Ken, Terry, and Kyo have already made it to the actual tourney. Mai, Chun Li, Iori, and Guile have all competed today, and won. We also saw Megaman beat Leona yesterday, but turned Riot of the Blood, and was disqualified for going on a rampage. We now join our fighters in the next, upcoming matchup.

In the men's locker room/b

RYO: DAMNIT! Todo's hogging the bathroom stall again! *bangs on door*

TODO: *from inside stall* Hmm…he is here…

RYO: Don't you start that crap with me again! I'm sick of it! I need to use the bathroom NOW!

TODO: *from inside stall* ASK FOR IT WITH YOUR—

RYO: *punches hole in stall, and rips Todo out, holding him by his neck* You were saying?

TODO: …I was saying *pokes Ryo's eye, 3 Stooges style*

RYO: OWWWWW, my eye! *drops Todo*

TODO: Hahahahaha! *runs off with his pants around his ankles*

RYO: AHHHH! MY EYE! IT HURTS!

IRyu and Ken are seen conversing on a bench/I

KEN: This blows…we have to sit around here for the next few days, before we can REALLY battle.

RYU: Patience is a virtue, Ken.

KEN: Yea, it's also a bitch!

RYU: True.

KEN: True.

DAN: *pops up behind Ken* WASSSSAAAA—

KEN: *back-fists Dan*

ISagat is shown warming up/I

SAGAT: Hya! Ha! Tiger! *destroys sandbag*

RYO: *walking by Sagat*

SAGAT: AH! A fellow fighter with an eye patch! I thought both of your eyes were good though.

RYO: Damn Todo poked me in the eye! I'm gonna need this for a few days.

SAGAT: Maybe you should keep it on all the time.

RYO: What for? My eye's still good.

SAGAT: Yea, but chicks dig the patch!

RYO: Get outta here!

SAGAT: No really…here, check this out. *takes off eye patch*

RYO: Ewww…

SAGAT: *walks up to blonde girl, standing in the men's locker room* Excuse me, what's your name?

ELIZA: Eliza *turns around*…eww, get away from me.

SAGAT: *turns to Ryo* Now watch THIS! *puts patch back on* Excuse me?

ELIZA: I thought I told you to *turns around*…OH MY! You're so damn sexy! Take me right now!

SAGAT: Give me a sec, babe.

ELIZA: Okay!

SAGAT: *walks back up to Ryo* See what I mean?

RYO: …yea, I guess so…but c'mon, that's Ken's wife! She'll do anybody!

SAGAT: Maybe so…but you DID see how she rejected me at first, right?

RYO: You got a point…okay Mr. Sagat, thanks for the tip!

SAGAT: No problem kid! *picks up Eliza and runs off*

IIn the women's locker room/I

KING: *snoring loudly*

YURI: She's been drunk for two days now…you think she'll be ready for her match-up tomorrow?

MAI: *feeling Mary up* …oh, um, sure!

BLUE MARY: *feeling back*

YURI: Hey, um, can I ask you guys a question?

BLUE MARY: Shoot, kid.

YURI: Are you guys…ya know…

MAI: Are we what?

YURI: Ya know…

BLUE MARY: What?

YURI: …nevermind.

MAI: Eh, okay! *feels Mary up more*

YURI: *shaking head and walks off*

IScene moves to the battle arena/I

ANNOUNCER: The next qualifying match will be between Yun and Yang! And here they come.

YUN: Are you ready?

YANG: Yes…let's do this!

YUN: …

YANG: …

YUN: ONE!

YANG: TWO!

YUN AND YANG: THREE!

YUN: *shown with Paper*

YANG: *shown with Rock*

ANNOUNCER: Oh my, folks! It looks like Yun has won this mighty battle!

YUN: Sorry brother.

YANG: …

IA half hour later/I

ANNOUNCER: Alrighty folks! Here comes the next match-up! Sakura Kasugano vs Shingo Yabuki! The battle between the disciples!

SHINGO: Dunn-dah-da!

SAKURA: *shaking head* Prepare for defeat!

SHINGO: I think not, Yuri!

SAKURA: Yuri!?!?!

SHINGO: Uh…yea…that IS your name, isn't it?

SAKURA: _…

ANNOUNCER: OH NO, FOLKS! Looks like Shingo did the worst thing you could ever do to Sakura…he called her Yuri!

SHINGO: Sak…u…ra? Ah, you must be from Crapcom! Wahahaha!

SAKURA: ….DIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

SHINGO: Uh oh…

ANNOUNCER: And it looks like the match has already begun! Shingo did the worst thing he could ever do…he pissed off an anime girl! And you know what that means…

SAKURA: *pulls out giant mallet*

ANNOUNCER: YES! It's the classic giant mallet!

SAKURA: *slams mallet into Shingo's head*

SHINGO: OWWW!!!

SAKURA: Take this! *kicks* And this! *punches* And this! SHINKUU-HADOUKEN! *blows Shingo away*

SHINGO: *breathing heavily* I'm…gonna…lose…

SAKURA: AHHHHH!!! *charging Shingo*

SHINGO: I WILL NOT LOSE! *kicks Sakura in the crotch*

SAKURA: *grabs crotch, and falls to knees, screaming*

SHINGO: (o_o)

ANNOUNCER: (o_o)

AUDIENCE: (o_o)

SHINGO: I…umm…I'm…sorry…I didn't know…you had a pair…of those…

SAKURA: ………HYA! *super dragon punches Shingo, right in the crotch* I DON'T!

SHINGO: *flying through air, holding crotch* (o_o) *lands in the stands*

ANNOUNCER: …Oh my…what a vicious attack. A wise man would NOT have messed with this girl! And our winner is Sakura!

SAKURA: I fooled you all, didn't I? I don't have a pair of THOSE!

SHINGO: *staggering to feet* Yea…you're right…you DON'T have a pair of…BREASTS!

SAKURA: (o_o)

ANNOUNCER: Oh no folks…Shingo's GOT to learn that you do NOT joke about small breasts!

SAKURA: YOU WILL FEEL MY WRATH! *running after Shingo*

SHINGO: Aiiiieeee! *runs off*

bSakura wipes the floor with Shingo, and makes it to the Capcom vs SNK 2 tourney! Will Shingo be able to evade Sakura's "wrath"? Will Andy and Terry find out what's been going on between Mai and Blue Mary? Will Ryo be able to pick up a chick with his newly acquired eye patch? And for the love of Pete, will Ken stop being so naive?/b

KEN: About what?

bYour wife, man! Your wife!/b

KEN: Look, stop talking about my wife, scumbag! If you don't, I'm gonna kick the crap out of you!

bI'd like to see you try!/b

KEN: *breaks into narrator's booth*

bUh oh…/b