AN: Some of you might notice that Spike's injuries are a bit different than in the actual show, but I needed to hurt him more

Some of you might notice that Spike's injuries are a bit different than in the actual show, but I needed to hurt him more. Once again, none of the characters or concepts of Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to me. I'm borrowing them, and hopefully not embarrassing them too much.

Chapter 6: Pain and Gratitude

The scooby gang sat around in Buffy and Dawn's living room while Willow amused herself by investigating the wiring in the robot that they'd dragged back from Glory's mansion. They had arrived back at the Summers' house to find Dawn and Tara waiting for them. Buffy hadn't liked leaving Dawn on her own, but she'd figured that she was safe enough while Glory's attention was focused on Spike. And Dawn told her that she hadn't been alone for that long, since when Tara had returned to her place to find Willow out, she called Buffy's house and Dawn filled her in on the details. Tara had gone straight over to the house to be with Dawn and wait for the guys to return.

Buffy flashed a grateful smile at Tara, and then shuddered as her eyes fell on the Buffybot. She hadn't been able to have it out with Spike yet, as he had remained unconscious since they'd found him, with only brief incoherent spans of wakefulness.

Dawn was looking from the robot to Buffy, openly amazed. She hadn't actually seen them both together before then, as she'd left the room when Xander had started talking about Buffy like she was crazy. The real Buffy had told her about it quickly before she left to find Spike, but she hadn't seen them both at the same time. It was a little frightening to realise how easily someone could be copied.

What freaked her out more was the fact that Spike had had the thing built. Dawn hadn't been told the whole story, but she knew what Spike would have wanted it for. The thought made her sick, and also made her feel a bit betrayed. She'd thought Spike was pretty decent, but building a robot of her sister to have sex with? That was just gross. And disturbing. As much as she liked Spike, she didn't understand why Buffy hadn't staked him for this.

Buffy was reserving judgement on the staking issue until she could talk to Spike. She wanted his version of events, and then she would decide whether what he did for her and Dawn was enough to make her forgive the robot making thing. She rather thought that it would be. She was surprised at the amount of gratitude she felt for him. He'd been tortured for information about the key, and he hadn't said a word. She'd seen how badly beaten up he was, and she suspected that there was a lot of damage that she couldn't see. The fact that Spike would endure that for her and Dawn showed just how much he really had changed.

Buffy knew she couldn't stake Spike now. But that didn't mean she was going to tell him that.

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Spike woke slowly, and with the return of consciousness came the return of the pain. He could feel it lancing through his entire body, but mostly concentrated around his head and chest area. His legs were pretty much intact, but that didn't mean that Glory had neglected them entirely.

He tried to open his eyes to see where he was, but he could only see through one and what he could see was blurry and indistinct. He lay still and tried to relax, using his other senses. He could tell he was lying on a bed, but that could mean anything. Glory had a bed. He could smell something familiar, something comforting, but his mind was too foggy for him to make a connection.

He hoped he was somewhere safe, somewhere that wasn't near Glory. He couldn't remember much other that being tortured, and the pain. Spike tried to think. Glory had wanted the key… and he hadn't told her. Why hadn't he told her? He must have had a good reason to put up with the pain. The key… Dawn! That's why he hadn't told her. He couldn't give up Dawn. Spike was confused. Why couldn't he give up Dawn? He was a vampire, evil, he should have been happy to do it.

No, that wasn't right. He wasn't really a vampire any more. He remembered that. Sunlight and crosses didn't hurt him. Glory had found that out. She'd tried to use crosses and holy water on him, and he'd laughed at her. It really had been very funny, she'd gotten so pissed. Spike tried to laugh until the movement served to remind him that he was in a great deal of pain.

There was still something missing, a gap in his memory. He'd tried to escape, but why had Glory taken him in the first place? That's right, her moron followers had thought he was the key. Why? Suddenly it all clicked together. They'd thought the Slayer was protecting him. But it was a robot, not the real thing.

The real thing?

Buffy!

Spike sat bolt upright on the bed, and then cried out in pain as his broken ribs dug into him and the wounds on his chest broke open and began to bleed again. He fell back limp on the bed as the pain coursed through him, almost making him want to die. He knew that his injuries wouldn't kill him, but that didn't mean they didn't hurt. He healed fast, but he was so beat up that even his vampire healing wouldn't deal with this in a week or two.

The next couple of months were not going to be much fun.

Spike heard voices downstairs and finally realised he was in Buffy's house. From what he could figure he was in her mother's room, since the bed didn't smell like either Buffy or Dawn. It didn't really smell of anything, like no one had used it for a while. That tracked with his original assessment. He wondered if he was ever going to be able to move. He was really hungry, and he didn't think that the guys downstairs would be particularly interested in serving him blood in bed.

He was wondering if they'd heard him cry out when he heard footsteps on the stairs. There was still a heated conversation going on downstairs, and Spike had no doubt that it was about him. More specifically, he thought it was probably about what they were going to do with him. Or to him. He wondered if they'd found out about the robot yet. It was a definite stakage for him if they had.

He didn't have time to dwell on the issue. His ears alerted him to the quiet sound of the door opening. Someone slipped in silently and closed the door behind them. He could tell it was Buffy, even without looking. Her smell, the silent way she moved, he knew it all. That was one of the more positive results of obsession. He would never be fooled by a doppelganger.

Spike tried to open his eyes and turn his head so he could see her. He groaned when the side of his face touched the pillow, and instantly jerked his head up straight again. Whatever Glory had done to his face, it wasn't pleasant. Buffy was at his side before the pain receded.

"Don't move, Spike," she said quietly. "It'll hurt more if you move. And I don't want you passing out again." Buffy seemed to realise that she was being too nice to him. "If you pass out, I won't get answers. And I want answers, Spike."

Inside his head, Spike swore. So she wasn't going to forgive him then? From her attitude towards him she obviously knew about the robot. Bloody hell, was nothing good enough for her? He'd been tortured to within an inch of his existence, and she still wasn't going to forgive him. If he had the energy, Spike would have gotten angry. What was the point? It would never be enough for her.

Buffy saw Spike's body tense up and realised that she may have gone a bit too far for him to handle in his current state. Her voice really hadn't been very forgiving. She softened her tone. "Are you hungry, Spike?"

Spike moved his head in a barely perceptible imitation of a nod. He felt Buffy get up and leave the room, and he was now thoroughly confused. She always sent him such mixed signals. One moment she was angry enough to stake him, and the next she's offering to get him dinner. He never knew where he stood with her. He always had to be on his toes, and never let his guard down. Being near Buffy always filled him with a feeling of excitement and anticipation, and he had to stick around to find out what was coming next. Never a dull moment. He wondered if she felt anything similar when she was around him.

Probably not.

His musings were interrupted when Buffy returned with a mug of warm blood. Just the smell of it was enough to drive him crazy. He may not have a taste for human blood any more, but that didn't mean he didn't need anything at all. He still needed blood to survive, and it would also help him heal. He'd grown accustomed to the taste of animal blood now, and at some point since he'd been helping out Buffy, he found he actually preferred the taste.

He tried to lift his arms to grasp the mug Buffy was holding for him, but his body protested the movement and he tried not to groan. Buffy saw how much pain he was in, and felt guilty that he had been subjected to it because of her. Even if he was a vampire, Spike didn't deserve this. Nobody deserved this. It was barbaric. Spike looked so defeated that he couldn't even feed himself, and Buffy's heart wrenched in sympathy.

"Shhh, Spike. It's okay," she said, trying to make her voice as comforting as possible. "Don't move. I already told you that. Here, I'll help you." She held the mug up to his lips and held his head up a little, and although he wanted to protest about being fed like an infant, he was far too hungry. He swallowed his humiliation and opened his mouth. Buffy tilted the mug slowly so Spike could drink on his back without choking.

When the mug was empty Buffy slowly lowered his head to the pillow and moved back from the bed. Spike almost protested at the loss of contact. Buffy's presence had temporarily made him forget about the pain, or at least made him able to ignore it. He hurt too much for anything to make him forget about it.

He wondered why Buffy was still standing there. He hadn't opened his eyes, but he could feel her and she wasn't moving. Was she staring at him or was she trying not to look? Spike knew that he must look like hell. He probably looked worse than he felt, and considering how bad he felt…

"Was that enough?" came Buffy's voice. "Do you need more?"

Spike took a moment to make sense of her words. She actually sounded concerned. He managed to make a sound that he hoped sounded like a no, and wondered if she was concerned for him or concerned for her sister. Spike didn't know if Buffy knew he hadn't said anything. At first he had thought that she must know, since she wouldn't be being this nice to him otherwise, but doubt was creeping into his mind and suggesting that she was just trying to keep him alive until she could find out whether he'd given her up or not.

He felt Buffy still standing there and tried to sit up so he could see her. He got halfway up before the pain hit him, and he was able to catch a glimpse of Buffy moving towards him as he fell back and blackness claimed him.

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Buffy grimaced as Spike passed out again. He looked absolutely terrible, and she could see how much pain he was in. Some of the wounds on his chest had began to bleed again, and Buffy wondered if maybe they should have bandaged him up a little. They hadn't before, because they weren't quite sure of the best way to deal with injuries on a vampire. Doctoring the undead wasn't Buffy's usual line of work.

They had cleaned him up some though. Buffy had asked Willow to deal with Spike as best she could. They'd cleaned all the dried blood and the dirt from the elevator shaft out of his wounds, and they'd cleaned all the blood off his face. Willow had said that a lot of the cuts and things would heal quickly enough on their own, but she didn't know about the broken bones and the hole in his chest.

As she thought about it, Buffy looked at Spike's chest. There was a hole just above his heart that looked like it could have been made by a thin stake. If it was, Spike had come incredibly close to being dust. That thought worried her more than she liked.

Shaking her head, Buffy walked over to the door. Taking another look at Spike, she admitted to herself that he really had proven her trust in him. What he'd endured for them… the gratitude Buffy felt went beyond words. She decided that she'd really have to thank him the next time he came to.

Then, when he was better, she'd beat him up about the robot.

Buffy smiled at the thought and left the room, then headed downstairs to clean out Spike's mug. Walking past the lounge room on her way to the kitchen, she heard Willow speaking.

"I found it, I found where she's broken. Some of these wires got fried extra crispy. It's an easy fix."

"Will," Buffy called from the hallway, her tone obviously threatening.

"Not that I would…" said Willow sheepishly.

Buffy smiled to herself and went into the kitchen. Cleaning out a mug of blood wasn't one of her favourite pastimes, but if she left it until Spike could do it himself it would be even worse. A mug sitting in the kitchen with dried blood all over it? No thanks. Actual alive people had to eat in there too.

Just as she'd finished cleaning up the kitchen, Xander came in and leaned against the doorway. "We're all going to take off now, okay Buff?"

"Sure Xand," replied Buffy. "Thanks for all your help today."

Xander shrugged. "No problem. All in a day's work for a member of the Scooby Gang." He paused for a second, hesitating over his next question. "You're going to be all right here with dead-boy junior upstairs?"

Buffy smirked. "I think we'll be okay. Spike's not really in any condition to cause trouble. And didn't we agree to trust him?"

"Yeah, I guess… but he did build a robot Buffy. Are you just going to forget that? We all know what he wanted it for."

"Don't remind me," said Buffy. "I'm going to have enough nightmares as it is. But he also protected us, and he didn't tell Glory about Dawn. Don't you think he deserves some credit?"

Xander nodded, but Buffy could tell it was reluctant, and mostly for her benefit. She knew Xander still didn't trust Spike, and definitely didn't like him. He tolerated him because Buffy said she would trust him.

"Anyway, we're going to head out. You know Anya…" Buffy rolled her eyes, and Xander grinned. "Will and Tara have classes tomorrow and Giles has to open the shop, so we thought we'd give you and the Dawnster a bit of peace for a change."

Buffy smiled, grateful. "Thanks. I think we could do with some alone time. The past couple of weeks haven't exactly been…" she trailed off and Xander walked over and gave her a hug.

"It'll get better Buffy," he whispered into her hair. "It'll get better."

Buffy gave him a quick squeeze and let him go. "You're a good friend Xander. We'll be okay. It's hard, but we'll get through." She took his hand and led him to the door where the others were waiting. Anya latched on the him and Buffy smiled to herself. Those two were a couple she'd never thought would last. She gave Willow a quick hug and bade everyone goodbye. Willow told her that they'd put the robot in the garage until they could get rid of it properly. Buffy didn't much like having a robotic copy of her in her house, but at least it was out of the way and somewhere where she wouldn't have to look at it.

She closed the door behind her friends and looked around, wondering where Dawn was. "Dawn?" she called.

"I'm upstairs," came the faint reply.

"What'cha doing?"

"Nothing."

Buffy heard the context behind Dawn's 'nothing'. She could guess what her little sister was up to. Buffy went quietly up the stairs and straight to her mom's room, where Spike was currently convalescing. Dawn had always been friendly with Spike. Even the first time she met him, when he didn't have a chip. He'd come to help her deal with Angelus, and Buffy's identity as the slayer was finally revealed to her family. Dawn didn't get the whole 'evil vampire' thing at first. Spike was the first vampire she met, and she'd thought he was cool.

Buffy opened the door just enough to look inside, and quietly enough that Dawn wouldn't hear. She saw Spike still unconscious on the bed, and Dawn was sitting in a comfy armchair across the room, just watching him.

Dawn was fascinated by the way Spike didn't breathe when he was asleep. He did when he was awake, despite the fact that vampires didn't really need to. 'Some habits of life must be hard to break,' she thought. 'I wonder if he ever just forgets to breathe when he's awake.'

Buffy opened the door fully and startled Dawn out of her reverie. Buffy almost laughed at the way she looked guilty for being there. She got up to leave, but Buffy waved her back down and went over and sat next to Dawn on the arm of the chair.

Dawn looked up at her and then back to Spike. "He saved us today, didn't he?" she asked in a whisper, not wanting to wake Spike. Buffy nodded. "Is he going to be okay?"

Buffy sighed. "I think he'll be all right. I know he looks pretty bad, but he's a vampire. Vampires heal quickly, so he should be back to normal in a month or so. He just needs a bit of time." She glossed over how bad his injuries really were. She didn't want to alarm Dawn unnecessarily, although it was quite obvious that Spike was really badly hurt.

Dawn always knew when Buffy was holding something back. She was obviously trying not to worry her, but she could see for herself how badly Spike was injured. Even vampire healing wouldn't totally deal with all of it in a month.

"Will you let him stay?"

"What?" Buffy was surprised by the question.

"Can he stay here while he gets better?" Dawn made it sound like the proposition was entirely reasonable.

Buffy was still doubtful. "I don't know Dawn…" She knew Spike needed help, but having him around the house all the time…

"Come on Buffy," Dawn was determined. "He's like this because of us, the least we can do is put him up. At leat until he can take care of himself. And Glory took him from his crypt didn't she? Do you want her to take him again?"

Buffy looked at her hands, feeling guilty all over again. "You're right. He's definitely earned it. Fine, have it your way. He can stay," Buffy paused and gave Dawn an evil look. "but you have to help feed him. There's no way I'm going to give him blood three times a day. Do you know how disgusting it is?"

Dawn tried not to laugh at her sister's tone. She could tell that Buffy didn't really mind that much, and it was the first time she'd seen her this relaxed in a while. Buffy always had too many things on her mind, too many people to take care of, and too many lives to juggle. It was good to see that she was going to finally allow herself to live again.

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Buffy smiled after her sister as she left the room to get ready for bed. They'd sat in the armchair and talked quietly, sometimes ignoring the fact that there was a beaten up vampire sleeping in the room, sometimes talking about it. Buffy finally realised how much she'd drifted away from Dawn since their mother had died, and she regretted it. Dawn had needed her, and Buffy had been too lost to realise it.

But they were all they had, and eventually that breeds stronger bonds. Buffy thought that they might actually be getting closer now. Strange how certain events can change your perspective on things. Dawn could have been revealed today, but she wasn't. She'd been saved by an old enemy, someone Buffy was supposed to hate.

Looking at Spike, Buffy hoped that Glory wouldn't try and torture anyone else in an effort to find the key. Any one of her other friends would have died from the wounds that Spike sustained. She couldn't handle it if she lost someone else. Losing her mother had made her see death as something so much more real than she had ever imagined. Death had always seemed like a defeatable opponent. She'd died herself once, and she'd come back. She'd always assumed that she was going to be the first to die, and she had been, but she had thought she was going to be the first to stay dead. She had the dangerous calling, she faced death every day. One day it was going to get her and not let her go. She'd thought that she would be first, and as such had never prepared for the possibility of losing her family.

And it hurt almost more than she could bear.

Buffy wondered how she would be coping without Dawn in her life. True, she wouldn't have to deal with Glory, but she would be alone. Intellectually Buffy knew that she had lived the first 19 years or so of her life as an only child, but her memories told her differently. Thinking abut life without Dawn was almost painful. She couldn't just imagine her gone, because if she was gone, she was dead. She couldn't just stop existing as Dawn and go back to being some mystical swirl of energy. The person who was Dawn would still be dead.

Buffy swore to herself that she would never let any of those monks who created Dawn take her back. When Glory and the threat she represented was gone, Dawn was staying right where she was. The key was her sister now, and she was not going to let that go. The monks sent the key to her, and they were just going to have to accept the fact that they weren't getting it back. If any of them were still alive.

Spike groaned, and Buffy's attention was instantly fixed on the blond vampire. She got up and moved closer to him, sitting on the edge of the bed. This close, she could see that the smaller wounds on his face and chest had already healed, and some of the swelling around his eyes and jaw had gone down.

Spike opened his eyes to see Buffy sitting next to him. He could see more clearly now, though his left eye still wouldn't open fully. He saw the concerned expression on Buffy's face, and decided that he hadn't dreamed the earlier encounter.

"Hey pet," he croaked out.

"Feel any better yet, Spike?" asked Buffy.

Spike fought down the urge to laugh. "I think I do, actually. And considering I feel like I've been tortured, I really must have felt bad before.

Buffy chuckled. "You look a bit better than a couple of hours ago, anyway. And you still look like shit. If you feel even half as bad as you look, then you have my sympathies."

"Half as bad?" Spike sounded indignant. "I can't really see myself, but I reckon I feel about twice as bad a I look. And you should be sympathetic, Slayer. I'm only like this because of you."

"I know," said Buffy quietly, and Spike would have kicked himself if he could. He could hear the guilt in her voice. He hadn't meant to really make her feel bad. He was about to apologise when Buffy stopped him.

"Are you hungry?"

"What? Yeah, a bit."

Buffy got up off the bed. "Okay, I'll be right back. See if you can sit up yet, and maybe I won't have to feed you myself this time. Pouring blood down your throat is a little offputting for my own meals."

Spike smiled at her as she left the room. He felt like hell, but just being around her made him feel better. The pain didn't go away, but she took his mind off it. He wondered if he should stay where he was so Buffy would have to feed him again, but he decided not to push his luck. He slowly lifted himself up and lent back against the headboard. He'd just managed to find a position where his ribs didn't dig into him when the door opened and Buffy came in again.

Buffy was relieved when she saw him sitting up. Maybe he would heal faster than she originally thought. She gave him the mug of warm blood and retreated back to her chair while he drank it. She realised that his game face didn't come out when he drank any more. She remembered when Spike had been staying with Giles when he first got his chip he had always changed whenever he was hungry. Maybe it was just something else about him that had changed over the past year.

Spike smirked into his cup when he noticed Buffy starting at him. He looked away, not wanting to embarrass her or do anything to make her kick him out. He doubted that he'd be able to make it back to his crypt if she did. On the upside, he'd have all day to drag himself there. He definitely would have been fried a month ago.

He wondered if he would have talked had Glory caught him a month before. Sure, he still loved Buffy, but he hadn't changed so far that he wouldn't have been able to do it. He was still a full vampire then, thinking he was still meant to be the epitome of evil. He might have spilled just to get his groove back. The thought made him sick. After what he went through that day, he had now sold himself to Dawn as much as Buffy. He was theirs, heart, body, and whatever substitute he used for his soul.

He drained the last of the blood and held the mug out to Buffy.

She glared at him. "I'm not your slave, Spike."

"No, but I don't think you want a blood-covered mug sitting around up here. You know how bad blood is when it dries. Now, I would do it myself, but I've got this little problem where I can't move…"

Buffy just glared at him some more. "You're a monster Spike, you really are."

Despite the glare her tone was light, so Spike decided to play. "Maybe. So what am I doing in the Slayer's house?"

"You're getting better so I can kick your butt."

"What?"

"What, I'm meant to forget the whole robot me thing? No, Spike. That's going to hurt you."

Spike had the decency to look guilty. "I didn't do anything with it, pet. Your Watcher must have told you that. I didn't even want the thing when it showed up. I ordered it just after you'd deinvited me, I really was pretty pissed at you."

Buffy nodded. "I know. And I know what you did for Dawn and I today, which is why you're getting off light. Light meaning you're not staked. I heard some of the things you said to Glory, and I have to say, I'm impressed. I almost fell off the wall when you called her a cheap skanky whore."

Spike laughed. "It was worth the broken ribs for the look on her face. I'd like to tell her again if I could do it without bloody dying."

Buffy smiled. "I don't doubt that. And the Bob Barca deal? Inspiring."

"Always hated that guy."

Buffy got up and took the empty blood mug from Spike, then walked to the door. "Try to sleep some more." She paused after opening the door, her back to him. "Thank you, for what you did today." The door closed behind her.

"Anytime, luv."

End Chapter 6

Sorry nothing much happens in this chapter, I just felt like some Buffy/Spike character stuff, and I thought it was better to get something up since it's been a while since my last chapter.