The one you're with.
Fan Fiction Written by: Zakrine
I honestly don't know what I was thinking when I wrote this.some OOC but I was just really bored. Please R&R, this is my first fan fiction here and I have some major confidence problems but if you feel you need to flame me go ahead. ^_~
Disclaimer: The characters in this story are not mine, they belong to those wonderful manga artists know as CLAMP. I am not doing this for profit so please don't sue me. ^_^
Seishirou sat on his bed, a black ball point pen rested between his fingertips and he tapped it against the blank notepad lying on his lap.
"This isn't any good." he mumbled to himself in almost a sorrowful manner. Tomorrow was Valentines Day and he still couldn't decide what he wanted to give to Subaru.
Then it came to him. A date in Ueno Park! Yes that would be perfect, but the question was, how was he going to convince Subaru to go along with it? He couldn't very well tie his date to a Sakura tree for the entire day. How could he get Subaru to believe he was sincere? Was he sincere? Seishirou wasn't sure, just as he wasn't exactly sure as to why he was so into spending Valentines Day with his "Prey". Seishirou decided not to think about it and shrugged it off as just wanting to find more reason to torture and twist the remaining innocents from Subaru's soul.
Seishirou smiled at this sadistic desire. "Yes Subaru-kun...I will find a way."
Subaru Sumaragi watched in contemplating silence in a shadowed corner, looking over at the other Dragons of Heaven whom were all gathered at the table in the middle of the room. Tomorrow was Valentines Day, and it seemed to Subaru that everyone had a date.
Sorata had somehow convinced Arashi to go to the movies with him.
Karen was claiming that she was taking Kamui out for a little fun, but he didn't exactly look like he wanted to go with her.
Aoki had a date planed with his wife at a really expensive restaurant and the company he worked for agreed to pay for the entire meal so long as Aoki was able to get an interview with the owner.
Yuzu-chan said she was going to go out with someone, but wouldn't even tell the Dragons of Heaven whom. Though everyone could guess it was with Kusanagi from the Dragons of Earth.
Subaru drowned himself with self-pity. Why was he the only one who didn't have someone who cared about him? Then he shook his head as if it was obvious and he was so stupid to even wonder. He didn't need anyone; he didn't need someone to...break his heart again.
Tears began to fill his eyes clogging his vision of the people at the table, playing cards and laughing. Subaru quickly brought the back of his hand to his face and began to wipe the tears when he stopped and just stared at them, at the markings his hands bore, and who they represented.
"Seishirou-san..."
The black pen sped quickly across the white notebook pages, leaving trails of ebony ink that were Japanese characters.
Seishirou smiled to himself as he folded it and slipped it into a cream- colored envelope signing the outside with Subaru's name on it affectionately with a heart around it. It wouldn't be much longer now. The Sakurazukamori mused. I just hope he shows up.
Seishirou grabbed his jacket from the hanger and leisurely walked to the door. Envelope in hand the Spiritualist turned the brass knob and opened the door in front of him and stepped out into the chill night air; looking into the brilliant evening sky he wondered if Subaru would reject him and instantly kicked himself at the thought. What does it matter to you? He's only an object; he means nothing to you now just as he never did five years ago.
But the thought was still in Seishirou's mind; even as he got in his van and even when he reached the place where Subaru was staying currently and placed the letter snugly in the small crevice of the door. Seishirou wondered to himself, if he truly didn't care about Subaru... why was he doing this?
Subaru opened his emerald eyes and looked at his alarm clock, the numbers flashed a florescent green: 8:23 A.M.
Subaru sighed and stretched his arms above his head, wondering if he should even bother getting up this morning. Maybe he could just lie there in bed all day and read the newspaper.
The young Sumeragi pushed the sheet and comforter away from him and walked out of the bedroom to the refrigerator and poured himself a glass of milk. Yawning, Subaru stumbled to the door and opened it and picked up the newspaper "Tokyo Times" and was about to walk back in but something caught the corner of his eye.
Subaru turned around and kneeled picking up the strange cream colored envelope and more awake went back inside the house and turned it over in his fingers. It was marked only with the name "Subaru-kun".
A lump caught in Subaru Sumeragi's throat at the familiarity of the fancy handwriting and the usage of "Kun" at the end of his name.
"Seishirou-san." He breathed quietly as he took his finger and placed it under the seal and opened it, revealing a letter with very familiar handwriting.
To my dear Subaru-kun,
I know that this is short notice, but if your not busy off trying to save the world today I was hoping you would come to Ueno Park to talk with me at two o'clock, I'll be waiting at our Sakura tree. I hope you can make it.
Lovingly yours,
Seishirou Sakurazuka
Even though it was right there in Subaru's hand, he still couldn't believe it. What could Seishirou possibly want to talk to Subaru about? And why of all places at Ueno Park AND at the Sakura tree?
Subaru didn't like this Idea, not one bit, and that's why it even baffled him as to why he took a shower, got dressed and called a taxi to take him to Ueno Park to see the man who had shattered his world.
After paying the driver, Subaru stepped from the vehicle and stood looking at Ueno Park and its entire splendor.
A sakura petal that was a beautiful shade of pink drifted around him, Subaru's hand shot out and grabbed it and opening his hand just as quickly; released it.
The petal drifted farther into the park passing some people that were there, Subaru followed, watching as the Sakura landed softly at the boots of a tall man that was wearing a black suit.
Subaru looked up into the man's golden brown eye; the other eye was clear glass. The older man smiled at him and stepped closer, Subaru moved back a step.
"Seishirou-san." Subaru said bowing slightly out of politeness.
"Subaru-kun." Seishirou acknowledged smiling warmly.
There was and awkward silence as the two just kind of stared at each other, not really knowing what to say to the other, Finally Seishirou quickly grabbed Subaru by the wrist.
The young spiritualist cried out in surprise and tried to pull back but Seishirou wouldn't let him go.
The older man put a finger to Subaru's lips, sending an unwanted shiver down the Sumeragi's spine. "Hush. None of that now Subaru-kun." He smiled genuinely and led the boy around a large sakura tree. A blanket lay spread out on the soft grass beneath it and there was a small picnic basket in the middle.
The Sakurazukamori sat down and pulled Subaru down with him, seating the younger man directly next to him. Subaru shifted on the blanket uncomfortably, an unsettling nervousness hit him at the loving way Seishirou was looking at him. The Sakurazukamori was looking at him the way he used to five years ago. Subaru felt himself blush as he looked away quickly hoping his loving enemy didn't see it.
Seishirou smiled to himself; so far everything was working perfectly, just the way he had planned it. Subaru even blushed he noted to himself, and he hadn't seen Subaru do that in five years.
Feeling a little bolder Seishirou gently gripped the smaller man's chin and forced Subaru to look at him.
The young Sumeragi gasped in surprise. "Seishirou-san, what are you-"
Seishirou silenced him by leaning forward and tilting Subaru's head up. Stopping right before their lips touched, Seishirou searched deep into the Sumeragi's eyes and saw a mixture of love, hate and confusion. Seishirou let his lips lightly brush against Subaru's and earning an irrepressible shiver from the younger spiritualist.
Mentally letting out a sigh of relief that his prey wasn't fighting him, the dark spiritualist pressed his lips firmly to Subaru's, feeling the Sumeragi clutch at his jacket in desperation and watching as Subaru's eyes fluttered shut.
So gentle... Subaru thought to himself feeling Seishirou caress his cheek with his fingers. It's hard to believe that this is Seishirou. Seishirou?
Subaru's eyes shot open, bringing his hands out in front of him he attempted to push Seishirou away. What was he thinking? This was the man who killed his sister, the man who lied to him for an entire year, the man who ruined his life!
"Don't touch me!"
Seishirou removed his hand from Subaru's face. I was hoping this wouldn't happen...
Subaru stood up and began to walk away but Seishirou grabbed his hand, the Sumeragi turned to face his suppresser anger flashing across his green eyes.
"Subaru-kun. Please, I promise I won't touch you again unless you say it's okay first."
The younger spiritualist glared at the older. "Seishirou-san, I...I'm not even sure I know why I came. The thing is, I can't just pretend like all that stuff that happened five years ago didn't happen!"
Seishirou pulled Subaru down roughly and held the young Sumeragi's wrists. Subaru's eyes widened with surprise at the sudden change in Seishirou.
"What if it didn't happen? I just want one day Subaru-kun. Just give me one day to pretend that-"
"That what!" Shouted Subaru angrily trying to force Seishirou's hands off of him; it only caused Seishirou's grip to tighten. "That you didn't kill my sister? That you didn't lie to me? That you only pretended you cared about me? That you...you didn't break my heart..." Tears slipped from Subaru's eyes and he just gave up on fighting Seishirou and let the older spiritualist pin him to the ground.
"Subaru-kun..."
A pair of shadows passed over the two spiritualists, Seishirou looked up to see Yuuto and Satsuki standing there with their eyebrows quirked.
"Seishirou, is that the sorcerer from the Dragon of Heaven you have pinned down?" Asked the blond with a sly grin on his face.
"That's right Yuuto." Said Seishirou with a mater of fact tone in his voice.
Yuuto grinned and looked at Subaru; tears were still falling freely from the Sumeragi's eyes. "Are you torturing him? Can we help?"
Seishirou glared angrily at the blond and at Satsuki. "No, you may not! Subaru-kun is my DATE for today and nobody will harm him while I am here."
Satsuki laughed and pulled on Yuuto's jacket, Yuuto smiled at her and whispered something that the spiritualists couldn't hear.
"Well have a nice date then Seishirou." Yuuto said between snickers. "I hope you have lots of fun!"
Seishirou turned his attention away from the two Dragons of Earth and brought his thoughts and eyes back to the Sumeragi lying under him. "Now, Subaru-kun," Seishirou said with sickly sweetness. "Will you please stay?"
Subaru looked in Seishirou's good eye, almost as if asking why the dark sorcerer was doing this to him, but all he saw was Seishirou smiling hopefully.
Subaru sighed, feeling Seishirou's smile tear at his soul. "Alright Seishirou-san.I'll stay."
Seishirou found it a very frustrating picnic, it was fairly late in the afternoon Subaru hardly spoke at all and when he did it was short, detached and without a hint of emotion. Seishirou might as well be talking to himself and the jokes he said were ignored and rarely smiled at. Subaru rarely ate anything, it was true that Subaru didn't have his sister's appetite but the Sumeragi ate close to nothing.
Seishirou began picking up everything and sighed disappointed; the older man pulled his sunglasses on.
Subaru felt a twinge of guilt, was Seishirou really disappointed? Or was he just trying to play with the younger mans emotions again?
"I'm sorry Seishirou-san." He whispered quietly, but loud enough for the Sakurazukamori to hear.
Seishirou turned looked at Subaru with a practiced smile on his face. "Sorry? What are you sorry for? You have nothing to be sorry about Subaru- kun."
Subaru stood up nervously, attempting to swallow the lump in his throat before speaking. "I'm sorry this didn't go the way you planned it Seishirou- san."
Seishirou smiled and walked closer to shorter man and tipped his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose. "Subaru-kun, would you like to have a drink with me?"
Subaru looked up and gave a weak but true smile and after a few moments as if considering it he nodded, the look on his face showing he still didn't trust Seishirou's intentions, or even understand them.
So you're not as naïve as you used to be are you Subaru-kun? The Sakurazukamori thought to himself. You don't trust me; I've hurt you. But just for this one day, I want to pretend. I want to feel. This is the one day you can trust my intentions Subaru, even if it is just this one day.
It was getting a little colder in the past half hour it had dropped a few degrees. Something wet landed on the back of Subaru's hand, the young man blinked.
"Subaru-kun," Seishirou spoke, pushing his glasses back up. "Subaru-kun, look. It's starting to snow."
Subaru smiled. Hokuto had loved the snow.
Seishirou beamed at Subaru and reached out for Subaru's hand and entwined his fingers with the Sumeragi's "Walk with me?" Subaru smiled shyly and trustingly allowed himself to be led by the older man.
When Seishirou asked Subaru if he wanted to have a drink with him, the Sumeragi didn't quite know what the Sakurazukamori had in mind, but he certainly didn't expect this.
The two of them sat down on one of the park benches holding Styrofoam cups full of hot cocoa that they received from a restaurant.
Subaru was thankful for the warmth it gave off, having left his winter gloves at home.
"So, Subaru-kun, do you still carry a beeper?" Seishirou asked, taking a sip of his cocoa. Subaru's hand slipped inside his thin jacket and a second later revealed a small, black beeper.
Seishirou grinned. "Still working hard then?"
Subaru didn't reply, not really knowing how to answer. Instead he took a drink, the burning liquid scorched his throat and he winced slightly.
"What am I thinking?" Seishirou asked with a short laugh, facing Subaru with a slightly sad look on his face. "Of course you are, you're my Subaru-kun."
He said it as if it was obvious and he watched Subaru as if waiting for him to say something, or do something. The Sumeragi sucked in a breath and began to shiver.
Seishirou studied Subaru for a moment before reaching over and pulling the young man into a close embrace.
Every instinct Subaru possessed cried out "Get away from him!" but he found that he rather liked someone holding him close, even if that person was Seishirou.
Seishirou brought his hand up and gently stroked Subaru's cheek, hearing the Sumeragi sigh contentedly against him.
He was so beautiful, he always has been. Seishirou smiled, thinking to himself. Even if I can't feel love, I know what's beautiful. And it was true; Subaru was beautiful inside as well as out. Seishirou had never met anyone so pure of heart and soul.
Seishirou continued brushing his fingers lightly against the younger spiritualist's skin while holding his cocoa in his other hand.
"Seishirou-san." It was said quietly in a question.
The older sorcerer looked down at the younger, and then leaned down and whispered into his ear. "Are you warmer now Subaru-kun?"
"Hmm" Subaru breathed, bringing his arms around Seishirou, trying to get closer.
Seishirou closed his eyes and smiled in amusement. "Guess not."
The Dark Sorcerer brought his fingers away from the Sumeragi's cheek and raised them to his hair. Tracing his fingers through the silky, black tresses.
Beautiful.
Subaru lifted his head from where it was now resting on Seishirou's chest, looking about. "Do you hear that Seishirou-san?" Seishirou stretched his senses and after a few moments he heard it too. A soft sobbing coming from somewhere nearby.
Subaru rose to a sitting position, and then stood up and began walking towards the sound. Seishirou watched slightly irritated that now, finally after he had gotten Subaru to relax a little, something like this would distract his prey.
Subaru looked in both directions and saw what the crying was. A young girl with fair hair sat with her back to a Sakura tree, dressed in thin rags and wearing no shoes. Her eyes were filled with tears as she looked up at Subaru. "Where's mommy? I can't find her!" She jumped up and ran to the young medium, tugging on his jacket desperately. "Mommy! Mommy where are you!"
"Calm down." Subaru pleaded. "I'll help you find her.Hey!"
The child ran away from him screaming at the top of her lungs for her mother, Seishirou rose from his seat looking curious.
Subaru ran quickly after the girl, trying to catch her to keep her from getting frantic, though it was a bit too late for that. The Sumeragi was close behind her when she ran out into the street and tripped a car inches from hitting her.
Subaru didn't even have time to try to push her out of the way, so he grabbed her, turning his back to the car to shield her. There was no time to even cast a protection spell.
Seishirou was there instantly, though how he got there so fast Subaru could only wonder. The Sakurazukamori stood in front of them, the car only a few centimeters away he raised his hand high and a flash of light erupted. Sakura surrounded the car in a mist of pink; there was a scream from the driver.
Subaru felt something wash over him, his eyes fluttered shut, and he fell into a dreamless sleep.
"Subaru-kun?"
The Sumeragi opened his Emerald eyes slowly. "Seishirou-san.Where?" He looked around the room. There was a bookshelf against the far wall, a dresser, a pile of Asuka magazines and other things. Subaru realized he was lying on something soft and looked.
"I hope you don't mind Subaru-kun, but you gave me quite a scare out there when you ran out in front of that car. I wasn't sure I would make it in time." He paused, chuckling at the slight blush across the Sumeragi's cheeks when the young spiritualist realized he was his at his own apartment in bed.
"Don't worry Subaru-kun, I promised remember?" Seishirou's good eye glinted. "That girl has been taken care of so you don't need to worry about her. The girl and her mother had been kicked out of their apartment and they had been living on the streets for quite a while now. Apparently her mom passed away, froze to death. The Authorities can take care of it from here. You're too kind-hearted Subaru-kun. At this rate I'm surprised you haven't killed yourself. I'm truly sorry about the sleep spell, I only meant to hit the girl, but you were to close."
Subaru looked at him puzzled and sat up. "Why did you do it? Why did you save me?"
Now it was Seishirou's turn to look confused. " You mean you would have rather I let you get hit by the car? Subaru-kun, if you remember I also said to Yuuto that I wouldn't let any harm you while you were my date? Besides," He said his face becoming serious. "Nobody but the Sakurazukamori kills a Sakurazukamori's prey."
Subaru it seemed pretended not to hear that last line with eyes shimmering with tears that never fell from those verdant eyes.
Seishirou knelt on the bed and leaned down. "Don't cry Subaru-kun. Hokuto- chan wouldn't want that. Don't you want Hokuto-chan to be happy?"
Subaru closed his eyes, biting his lip, fighting the urge to cry and never stop. "Kill me please.end this suffering I feel. You say that you can't love, but it's because you choose not to! Want to know the reason I haven't been involved with anyone? It's because the one I love doesn't love me and I cant love anyone else." Subaru paused as he sobbed in distress. "Because I love you!"
Seishirou was speechless, when Subaru was younger he never would have confessed such feelings, but this was yet more proof that Subaru had changed over the years.
Seishirou felt a surge of guilt but it quickly diminished but for the moment it was there it had scared him. It was something he shouldn't have been able to feel.
Seishirou leaned over the young boy and wiped the Sumeragi's tears. "Subaru- kun...?"
Subaru looked up at him no longer crying but looking very hurt. "What?"
"Am I sexy?"
The Sumeragi blinked as if he had heard incorrectly. "What?"
"Subaru-kun?"
"Ye-Yes Seishirou-san?" Subaru asked nervously.
Seishirou smiled pleasantly.
"May I kiss you?"
Seishirou sat at the edge of Subaru's bed watching the sleeping Sumeragi. It had been a couple of hours since Subaru had fallen asleep with Seishirou holding him. Seishirou looked at the clock: 11:56.
Though their date had been a disappointment in the beginning, it turned out okay in the end. Subaru was so beautiful and he looked so calm lying there in his bed, the comforter pulled up to his chin.
Without even thinking about it Seishirou leaned down and kissed the younger man lightly causing Subaru to smile continently in his sleep.
Seishirou glanced at the clock again: 11:59.
The Sakurazukamori sighed in what almost could have been melancholy or disappointment. "One more minute until I become the cold, heartless killer Subaru-kun. Just 60 seconds until I leave you once more. I wonder if I'll break your heart again?"
Subaru woke up early the next morning to find Seishirou gone, Subaru instantly felt a twinge of heartache and looked around the room to make sure that Seishirou really wasn't there, and once he realized that the Sakurazukamori really was gone it got worse.
He pushed himself up, his hand crushed a piece of paper; Subaru unfolded it carefully and looked at the once again familiar text.
Good morning Subaru-kun!
I'm sorry I wasn't there when you woke up
But Kanoe and Fuuma said there was something
Important they wanted to say to the Dragons of Earth. (I guess
They figured out who put the itching powder in their underwear!)
It's 12:00 now, so expect me to be back to my normal
Self again, like I said before it was only for one day.
Which brings up another thing I wanted to remind you,
Even though I don't love you Subaru-kun,
I don't hate you either.
Maybe you should get yourself a new boyfriend?
How about your Kamui of the Dragons of heaven?
I've seen how he looks at you with those violet eyes of his,
I think he's fallen for you. Can't say I blame him.
Well I have to be going Subaru-kun, but I just want to give
You these words of advice:
If you cant be with the one you love,
Love the one your with.
Love,
Seishirou
"Weird." Was the only word Subaru had for it, but he did think about what Seishirou had written about Kamui. Subaru had noted the loving glances and smiles the fifteen-year-old had always given him. And it was true that Subaru himself had found himself a little more than attached to the boy, but how could Subaru ever love again after Seishirou?
Subaru's beeper went off on his nightstand, bringing the Sumeragi back to earth for a moment. Looking down to see whom it was, he smiled without realizing it.
"Kamui-san."
Subaru had rushed over to the diet building as quickly as he could (he couldn't find his cell phone anywhere!) and hoped nothing bad had happened. Did the dragons of earth decide to attack? Was someone hurt?
When the Sumeragi finally reached the basement floor he was instantly tackled by all of the dragons of heaven with the exception of Kamui and Arashi, but she looked very relieved and Kamui was no where to be seen.
"We didn't know what happened to you!" Sorata laughed, giving Subaru a noogie messing up the Sumeragi's short hair.
"I ran into Yuuto and Satsuki who said that they saw you being tortured by the Sakurazukamori and when everyone got back last night we were all looking for you! And when you didn't answer your pager this morning we all were so worried about you!" Cried Yuzuriha squeezing him as tightly as she could in an embrace.
Subaru blinked looking confused. "Did any of you try my apartment?"
Everyone in the room was quiet and looked embarrassed.
"Well, you seem to be okay so I guess we worried about you for nothing." Said Karen smiling brilliantly and Aoki at her side beamed just as brightly. "We should have known that the 13th head of the Sumeragi clan could take care of himself.
"Subaru!"
Everyone turned around to see a boy with brilliant amethyst eyes filled with tears at the end of the hall overcome with joy.
Yuzuriha quickly moved out of the way and Sorata followed lead leaving Subaru standing by himself and Kamui at the opposite side of the room.
Kamui opened his mouth as if to say something but instead just ran as fast as he could towards Subaru, barreling into him, causing the spiritualist to fall back a couple spaces. Kamui threw his arms around Subaru's neck and just broke down into tears.
"I thought something had happened to you."
Subaru brought his arms around the smaller boy and held him close.
Sorata's eyes sparkled as he looked at the two and then motioned to Arashi that they should be leaving. Arashi got the message and the two of them directed the others out of the room (though they had to physically pull Yuzuriha out of the room who thought the two of them were so cute).
"I.didn't know if you were all right or not.I don't want to be left alone again."
Subaru smiled ruefully and he gently pulled Kamui from him and looked into the boy's large violet eyes.
"I promise I'll never leave you Kamui. I'll be here to protect you.always."
Kamui's beautiful eyes shimmered and tears slid down his cheeks. "Promise?"
Subaru smiled affectionately. "I promise. Always."
Kamui latched back onto Subaru, and the Sumeragi mentally sighed.
I can never love Kamui the way I love you Seishirou. And I know how much it can hurt when someone doesn't return that love, and that's why.
Subaru stroked Kamui's raven hair.
That's why I will never leave Kamui, he loves me, and I have to return that love or hurt him.
But I'll take what you wrote to me to heart Seishirou because Kamui loves me.
1 Love the one your with.
~Fin
Fan Fiction Written by: Zakrine
I honestly don't know what I was thinking when I wrote this.some OOC but I was just really bored. Please R&R, this is my first fan fiction here and I have some major confidence problems but if you feel you need to flame me go ahead. ^_~
Disclaimer: The characters in this story are not mine, they belong to those wonderful manga artists know as CLAMP. I am not doing this for profit so please don't sue me. ^_^
Seishirou sat on his bed, a black ball point pen rested between his fingertips and he tapped it against the blank notepad lying on his lap.
"This isn't any good." he mumbled to himself in almost a sorrowful manner. Tomorrow was Valentines Day and he still couldn't decide what he wanted to give to Subaru.
Then it came to him. A date in Ueno Park! Yes that would be perfect, but the question was, how was he going to convince Subaru to go along with it? He couldn't very well tie his date to a Sakura tree for the entire day. How could he get Subaru to believe he was sincere? Was he sincere? Seishirou wasn't sure, just as he wasn't exactly sure as to why he was so into spending Valentines Day with his "Prey". Seishirou decided not to think about it and shrugged it off as just wanting to find more reason to torture and twist the remaining innocents from Subaru's soul.
Seishirou smiled at this sadistic desire. "Yes Subaru-kun...I will find a way."
Subaru Sumaragi watched in contemplating silence in a shadowed corner, looking over at the other Dragons of Heaven whom were all gathered at the table in the middle of the room. Tomorrow was Valentines Day, and it seemed to Subaru that everyone had a date.
Sorata had somehow convinced Arashi to go to the movies with him.
Karen was claiming that she was taking Kamui out for a little fun, but he didn't exactly look like he wanted to go with her.
Aoki had a date planed with his wife at a really expensive restaurant and the company he worked for agreed to pay for the entire meal so long as Aoki was able to get an interview with the owner.
Yuzu-chan said she was going to go out with someone, but wouldn't even tell the Dragons of Heaven whom. Though everyone could guess it was with Kusanagi from the Dragons of Earth.
Subaru drowned himself with self-pity. Why was he the only one who didn't have someone who cared about him? Then he shook his head as if it was obvious and he was so stupid to even wonder. He didn't need anyone; he didn't need someone to...break his heart again.
Tears began to fill his eyes clogging his vision of the people at the table, playing cards and laughing. Subaru quickly brought the back of his hand to his face and began to wipe the tears when he stopped and just stared at them, at the markings his hands bore, and who they represented.
"Seishirou-san..."
The black pen sped quickly across the white notebook pages, leaving trails of ebony ink that were Japanese characters.
Seishirou smiled to himself as he folded it and slipped it into a cream- colored envelope signing the outside with Subaru's name on it affectionately with a heart around it. It wouldn't be much longer now. The Sakurazukamori mused. I just hope he shows up.
Seishirou grabbed his jacket from the hanger and leisurely walked to the door. Envelope in hand the Spiritualist turned the brass knob and opened the door in front of him and stepped out into the chill night air; looking into the brilliant evening sky he wondered if Subaru would reject him and instantly kicked himself at the thought. What does it matter to you? He's only an object; he means nothing to you now just as he never did five years ago.
But the thought was still in Seishirou's mind; even as he got in his van and even when he reached the place where Subaru was staying currently and placed the letter snugly in the small crevice of the door. Seishirou wondered to himself, if he truly didn't care about Subaru... why was he doing this?
Subaru opened his emerald eyes and looked at his alarm clock, the numbers flashed a florescent green: 8:23 A.M.
Subaru sighed and stretched his arms above his head, wondering if he should even bother getting up this morning. Maybe he could just lie there in bed all day and read the newspaper.
The young Sumeragi pushed the sheet and comforter away from him and walked out of the bedroom to the refrigerator and poured himself a glass of milk. Yawning, Subaru stumbled to the door and opened it and picked up the newspaper "Tokyo Times" and was about to walk back in but something caught the corner of his eye.
Subaru turned around and kneeled picking up the strange cream colored envelope and more awake went back inside the house and turned it over in his fingers. It was marked only with the name "Subaru-kun".
A lump caught in Subaru Sumeragi's throat at the familiarity of the fancy handwriting and the usage of "Kun" at the end of his name.
"Seishirou-san." He breathed quietly as he took his finger and placed it under the seal and opened it, revealing a letter with very familiar handwriting.
To my dear Subaru-kun,
I know that this is short notice, but if your not busy off trying to save the world today I was hoping you would come to Ueno Park to talk with me at two o'clock, I'll be waiting at our Sakura tree. I hope you can make it.
Lovingly yours,
Seishirou Sakurazuka
Even though it was right there in Subaru's hand, he still couldn't believe it. What could Seishirou possibly want to talk to Subaru about? And why of all places at Ueno Park AND at the Sakura tree?
Subaru didn't like this Idea, not one bit, and that's why it even baffled him as to why he took a shower, got dressed and called a taxi to take him to Ueno Park to see the man who had shattered his world.
After paying the driver, Subaru stepped from the vehicle and stood looking at Ueno Park and its entire splendor.
A sakura petal that was a beautiful shade of pink drifted around him, Subaru's hand shot out and grabbed it and opening his hand just as quickly; released it.
The petal drifted farther into the park passing some people that were there, Subaru followed, watching as the Sakura landed softly at the boots of a tall man that was wearing a black suit.
Subaru looked up into the man's golden brown eye; the other eye was clear glass. The older man smiled at him and stepped closer, Subaru moved back a step.
"Seishirou-san." Subaru said bowing slightly out of politeness.
"Subaru-kun." Seishirou acknowledged smiling warmly.
There was and awkward silence as the two just kind of stared at each other, not really knowing what to say to the other, Finally Seishirou quickly grabbed Subaru by the wrist.
The young spiritualist cried out in surprise and tried to pull back but Seishirou wouldn't let him go.
The older man put a finger to Subaru's lips, sending an unwanted shiver down the Sumeragi's spine. "Hush. None of that now Subaru-kun." He smiled genuinely and led the boy around a large sakura tree. A blanket lay spread out on the soft grass beneath it and there was a small picnic basket in the middle.
The Sakurazukamori sat down and pulled Subaru down with him, seating the younger man directly next to him. Subaru shifted on the blanket uncomfortably, an unsettling nervousness hit him at the loving way Seishirou was looking at him. The Sakurazukamori was looking at him the way he used to five years ago. Subaru felt himself blush as he looked away quickly hoping his loving enemy didn't see it.
Seishirou smiled to himself; so far everything was working perfectly, just the way he had planned it. Subaru even blushed he noted to himself, and he hadn't seen Subaru do that in five years.
Feeling a little bolder Seishirou gently gripped the smaller man's chin and forced Subaru to look at him.
The young Sumeragi gasped in surprise. "Seishirou-san, what are you-"
Seishirou silenced him by leaning forward and tilting Subaru's head up. Stopping right before their lips touched, Seishirou searched deep into the Sumeragi's eyes and saw a mixture of love, hate and confusion. Seishirou let his lips lightly brush against Subaru's and earning an irrepressible shiver from the younger spiritualist.
Mentally letting out a sigh of relief that his prey wasn't fighting him, the dark spiritualist pressed his lips firmly to Subaru's, feeling the Sumeragi clutch at his jacket in desperation and watching as Subaru's eyes fluttered shut.
So gentle... Subaru thought to himself feeling Seishirou caress his cheek with his fingers. It's hard to believe that this is Seishirou. Seishirou?
Subaru's eyes shot open, bringing his hands out in front of him he attempted to push Seishirou away. What was he thinking? This was the man who killed his sister, the man who lied to him for an entire year, the man who ruined his life!
"Don't touch me!"
Seishirou removed his hand from Subaru's face. I was hoping this wouldn't happen...
Subaru stood up and began to walk away but Seishirou grabbed his hand, the Sumeragi turned to face his suppresser anger flashing across his green eyes.
"Subaru-kun. Please, I promise I won't touch you again unless you say it's okay first."
The younger spiritualist glared at the older. "Seishirou-san, I...I'm not even sure I know why I came. The thing is, I can't just pretend like all that stuff that happened five years ago didn't happen!"
Seishirou pulled Subaru down roughly and held the young Sumeragi's wrists. Subaru's eyes widened with surprise at the sudden change in Seishirou.
"What if it didn't happen? I just want one day Subaru-kun. Just give me one day to pretend that-"
"That what!" Shouted Subaru angrily trying to force Seishirou's hands off of him; it only caused Seishirou's grip to tighten. "That you didn't kill my sister? That you didn't lie to me? That you only pretended you cared about me? That you...you didn't break my heart..." Tears slipped from Subaru's eyes and he just gave up on fighting Seishirou and let the older spiritualist pin him to the ground.
"Subaru-kun..."
A pair of shadows passed over the two spiritualists, Seishirou looked up to see Yuuto and Satsuki standing there with their eyebrows quirked.
"Seishirou, is that the sorcerer from the Dragon of Heaven you have pinned down?" Asked the blond with a sly grin on his face.
"That's right Yuuto." Said Seishirou with a mater of fact tone in his voice.
Yuuto grinned and looked at Subaru; tears were still falling freely from the Sumeragi's eyes. "Are you torturing him? Can we help?"
Seishirou glared angrily at the blond and at Satsuki. "No, you may not! Subaru-kun is my DATE for today and nobody will harm him while I am here."
Satsuki laughed and pulled on Yuuto's jacket, Yuuto smiled at her and whispered something that the spiritualists couldn't hear.
"Well have a nice date then Seishirou." Yuuto said between snickers. "I hope you have lots of fun!"
Seishirou turned his attention away from the two Dragons of Earth and brought his thoughts and eyes back to the Sumeragi lying under him. "Now, Subaru-kun," Seishirou said with sickly sweetness. "Will you please stay?"
Subaru looked in Seishirou's good eye, almost as if asking why the dark sorcerer was doing this to him, but all he saw was Seishirou smiling hopefully.
Subaru sighed, feeling Seishirou's smile tear at his soul. "Alright Seishirou-san.I'll stay."
Seishirou found it a very frustrating picnic, it was fairly late in the afternoon Subaru hardly spoke at all and when he did it was short, detached and without a hint of emotion. Seishirou might as well be talking to himself and the jokes he said were ignored and rarely smiled at. Subaru rarely ate anything, it was true that Subaru didn't have his sister's appetite but the Sumeragi ate close to nothing.
Seishirou began picking up everything and sighed disappointed; the older man pulled his sunglasses on.
Subaru felt a twinge of guilt, was Seishirou really disappointed? Or was he just trying to play with the younger mans emotions again?
"I'm sorry Seishirou-san." He whispered quietly, but loud enough for the Sakurazukamori to hear.
Seishirou turned looked at Subaru with a practiced smile on his face. "Sorry? What are you sorry for? You have nothing to be sorry about Subaru- kun."
Subaru stood up nervously, attempting to swallow the lump in his throat before speaking. "I'm sorry this didn't go the way you planned it Seishirou- san."
Seishirou smiled and walked closer to shorter man and tipped his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose. "Subaru-kun, would you like to have a drink with me?"
Subaru looked up and gave a weak but true smile and after a few moments as if considering it he nodded, the look on his face showing he still didn't trust Seishirou's intentions, or even understand them.
So you're not as naïve as you used to be are you Subaru-kun? The Sakurazukamori thought to himself. You don't trust me; I've hurt you. But just for this one day, I want to pretend. I want to feel. This is the one day you can trust my intentions Subaru, even if it is just this one day.
It was getting a little colder in the past half hour it had dropped a few degrees. Something wet landed on the back of Subaru's hand, the young man blinked.
"Subaru-kun," Seishirou spoke, pushing his glasses back up. "Subaru-kun, look. It's starting to snow."
Subaru smiled. Hokuto had loved the snow.
Seishirou beamed at Subaru and reached out for Subaru's hand and entwined his fingers with the Sumeragi's "Walk with me?" Subaru smiled shyly and trustingly allowed himself to be led by the older man.
When Seishirou asked Subaru if he wanted to have a drink with him, the Sumeragi didn't quite know what the Sakurazukamori had in mind, but he certainly didn't expect this.
The two of them sat down on one of the park benches holding Styrofoam cups full of hot cocoa that they received from a restaurant.
Subaru was thankful for the warmth it gave off, having left his winter gloves at home.
"So, Subaru-kun, do you still carry a beeper?" Seishirou asked, taking a sip of his cocoa. Subaru's hand slipped inside his thin jacket and a second later revealed a small, black beeper.
Seishirou grinned. "Still working hard then?"
Subaru didn't reply, not really knowing how to answer. Instead he took a drink, the burning liquid scorched his throat and he winced slightly.
"What am I thinking?" Seishirou asked with a short laugh, facing Subaru with a slightly sad look on his face. "Of course you are, you're my Subaru-kun."
He said it as if it was obvious and he watched Subaru as if waiting for him to say something, or do something. The Sumeragi sucked in a breath and began to shiver.
Seishirou studied Subaru for a moment before reaching over and pulling the young man into a close embrace.
Every instinct Subaru possessed cried out "Get away from him!" but he found that he rather liked someone holding him close, even if that person was Seishirou.
Seishirou brought his hand up and gently stroked Subaru's cheek, hearing the Sumeragi sigh contentedly against him.
He was so beautiful, he always has been. Seishirou smiled, thinking to himself. Even if I can't feel love, I know what's beautiful. And it was true; Subaru was beautiful inside as well as out. Seishirou had never met anyone so pure of heart and soul.
Seishirou continued brushing his fingers lightly against the younger spiritualist's skin while holding his cocoa in his other hand.
"Seishirou-san." It was said quietly in a question.
The older sorcerer looked down at the younger, and then leaned down and whispered into his ear. "Are you warmer now Subaru-kun?"
"Hmm" Subaru breathed, bringing his arms around Seishirou, trying to get closer.
Seishirou closed his eyes and smiled in amusement. "Guess not."
The Dark Sorcerer brought his fingers away from the Sumeragi's cheek and raised them to his hair. Tracing his fingers through the silky, black tresses.
Beautiful.
Subaru lifted his head from where it was now resting on Seishirou's chest, looking about. "Do you hear that Seishirou-san?" Seishirou stretched his senses and after a few moments he heard it too. A soft sobbing coming from somewhere nearby.
Subaru rose to a sitting position, and then stood up and began walking towards the sound. Seishirou watched slightly irritated that now, finally after he had gotten Subaru to relax a little, something like this would distract his prey.
Subaru looked in both directions and saw what the crying was. A young girl with fair hair sat with her back to a Sakura tree, dressed in thin rags and wearing no shoes. Her eyes were filled with tears as she looked up at Subaru. "Where's mommy? I can't find her!" She jumped up and ran to the young medium, tugging on his jacket desperately. "Mommy! Mommy where are you!"
"Calm down." Subaru pleaded. "I'll help you find her.Hey!"
The child ran away from him screaming at the top of her lungs for her mother, Seishirou rose from his seat looking curious.
Subaru ran quickly after the girl, trying to catch her to keep her from getting frantic, though it was a bit too late for that. The Sumeragi was close behind her when she ran out into the street and tripped a car inches from hitting her.
Subaru didn't even have time to try to push her out of the way, so he grabbed her, turning his back to the car to shield her. There was no time to even cast a protection spell.
Seishirou was there instantly, though how he got there so fast Subaru could only wonder. The Sakurazukamori stood in front of them, the car only a few centimeters away he raised his hand high and a flash of light erupted. Sakura surrounded the car in a mist of pink; there was a scream from the driver.
Subaru felt something wash over him, his eyes fluttered shut, and he fell into a dreamless sleep.
"Subaru-kun?"
The Sumeragi opened his Emerald eyes slowly. "Seishirou-san.Where?" He looked around the room. There was a bookshelf against the far wall, a dresser, a pile of Asuka magazines and other things. Subaru realized he was lying on something soft and looked.
"I hope you don't mind Subaru-kun, but you gave me quite a scare out there when you ran out in front of that car. I wasn't sure I would make it in time." He paused, chuckling at the slight blush across the Sumeragi's cheeks when the young spiritualist realized he was his at his own apartment in bed.
"Don't worry Subaru-kun, I promised remember?" Seishirou's good eye glinted. "That girl has been taken care of so you don't need to worry about her. The girl and her mother had been kicked out of their apartment and they had been living on the streets for quite a while now. Apparently her mom passed away, froze to death. The Authorities can take care of it from here. You're too kind-hearted Subaru-kun. At this rate I'm surprised you haven't killed yourself. I'm truly sorry about the sleep spell, I only meant to hit the girl, but you were to close."
Subaru looked at him puzzled and sat up. "Why did you do it? Why did you save me?"
Now it was Seishirou's turn to look confused. " You mean you would have rather I let you get hit by the car? Subaru-kun, if you remember I also said to Yuuto that I wouldn't let any harm you while you were my date? Besides," He said his face becoming serious. "Nobody but the Sakurazukamori kills a Sakurazukamori's prey."
Subaru it seemed pretended not to hear that last line with eyes shimmering with tears that never fell from those verdant eyes.
Seishirou knelt on the bed and leaned down. "Don't cry Subaru-kun. Hokuto- chan wouldn't want that. Don't you want Hokuto-chan to be happy?"
Subaru closed his eyes, biting his lip, fighting the urge to cry and never stop. "Kill me please.end this suffering I feel. You say that you can't love, but it's because you choose not to! Want to know the reason I haven't been involved with anyone? It's because the one I love doesn't love me and I cant love anyone else." Subaru paused as he sobbed in distress. "Because I love you!"
Seishirou was speechless, when Subaru was younger he never would have confessed such feelings, but this was yet more proof that Subaru had changed over the years.
Seishirou felt a surge of guilt but it quickly diminished but for the moment it was there it had scared him. It was something he shouldn't have been able to feel.
Seishirou leaned over the young boy and wiped the Sumeragi's tears. "Subaru- kun...?"
Subaru looked up at him no longer crying but looking very hurt. "What?"
"Am I sexy?"
The Sumeragi blinked as if he had heard incorrectly. "What?"
"Subaru-kun?"
"Ye-Yes Seishirou-san?" Subaru asked nervously.
Seishirou smiled pleasantly.
"May I kiss you?"
Seishirou sat at the edge of Subaru's bed watching the sleeping Sumeragi. It had been a couple of hours since Subaru had fallen asleep with Seishirou holding him. Seishirou looked at the clock: 11:56.
Though their date had been a disappointment in the beginning, it turned out okay in the end. Subaru was so beautiful and he looked so calm lying there in his bed, the comforter pulled up to his chin.
Without even thinking about it Seishirou leaned down and kissed the younger man lightly causing Subaru to smile continently in his sleep.
Seishirou glanced at the clock again: 11:59.
The Sakurazukamori sighed in what almost could have been melancholy or disappointment. "One more minute until I become the cold, heartless killer Subaru-kun. Just 60 seconds until I leave you once more. I wonder if I'll break your heart again?"
Subaru woke up early the next morning to find Seishirou gone, Subaru instantly felt a twinge of heartache and looked around the room to make sure that Seishirou really wasn't there, and once he realized that the Sakurazukamori really was gone it got worse.
He pushed himself up, his hand crushed a piece of paper; Subaru unfolded it carefully and looked at the once again familiar text.
Good morning Subaru-kun!
I'm sorry I wasn't there when you woke up
But Kanoe and Fuuma said there was something
Important they wanted to say to the Dragons of Earth. (I guess
They figured out who put the itching powder in their underwear!)
It's 12:00 now, so expect me to be back to my normal
Self again, like I said before it was only for one day.
Which brings up another thing I wanted to remind you,
Even though I don't love you Subaru-kun,
I don't hate you either.
Maybe you should get yourself a new boyfriend?
How about your Kamui of the Dragons of heaven?
I've seen how he looks at you with those violet eyes of his,
I think he's fallen for you. Can't say I blame him.
Well I have to be going Subaru-kun, but I just want to give
You these words of advice:
If you cant be with the one you love,
Love the one your with.
Love,
Seishirou
"Weird." Was the only word Subaru had for it, but he did think about what Seishirou had written about Kamui. Subaru had noted the loving glances and smiles the fifteen-year-old had always given him. And it was true that Subaru himself had found himself a little more than attached to the boy, but how could Subaru ever love again after Seishirou?
Subaru's beeper went off on his nightstand, bringing the Sumeragi back to earth for a moment. Looking down to see whom it was, he smiled without realizing it.
"Kamui-san."
Subaru had rushed over to the diet building as quickly as he could (he couldn't find his cell phone anywhere!) and hoped nothing bad had happened. Did the dragons of earth decide to attack? Was someone hurt?
When the Sumeragi finally reached the basement floor he was instantly tackled by all of the dragons of heaven with the exception of Kamui and Arashi, but she looked very relieved and Kamui was no where to be seen.
"We didn't know what happened to you!" Sorata laughed, giving Subaru a noogie messing up the Sumeragi's short hair.
"I ran into Yuuto and Satsuki who said that they saw you being tortured by the Sakurazukamori and when everyone got back last night we were all looking for you! And when you didn't answer your pager this morning we all were so worried about you!" Cried Yuzuriha squeezing him as tightly as she could in an embrace.
Subaru blinked looking confused. "Did any of you try my apartment?"
Everyone in the room was quiet and looked embarrassed.
"Well, you seem to be okay so I guess we worried about you for nothing." Said Karen smiling brilliantly and Aoki at her side beamed just as brightly. "We should have known that the 13th head of the Sumeragi clan could take care of himself.
"Subaru!"
Everyone turned around to see a boy with brilliant amethyst eyes filled with tears at the end of the hall overcome with joy.
Yuzuriha quickly moved out of the way and Sorata followed lead leaving Subaru standing by himself and Kamui at the opposite side of the room.
Kamui opened his mouth as if to say something but instead just ran as fast as he could towards Subaru, barreling into him, causing the spiritualist to fall back a couple spaces. Kamui threw his arms around Subaru's neck and just broke down into tears.
"I thought something had happened to you."
Subaru brought his arms around the smaller boy and held him close.
Sorata's eyes sparkled as he looked at the two and then motioned to Arashi that they should be leaving. Arashi got the message and the two of them directed the others out of the room (though they had to physically pull Yuzuriha out of the room who thought the two of them were so cute).
"I.didn't know if you were all right or not.I don't want to be left alone again."
Subaru smiled ruefully and he gently pulled Kamui from him and looked into the boy's large violet eyes.
"I promise I'll never leave you Kamui. I'll be here to protect you.always."
Kamui's beautiful eyes shimmered and tears slid down his cheeks. "Promise?"
Subaru smiled affectionately. "I promise. Always."
Kamui latched back onto Subaru, and the Sumeragi mentally sighed.
I can never love Kamui the way I love you Seishirou. And I know how much it can hurt when someone doesn't return that love, and that's why.
Subaru stroked Kamui's raven hair.
That's why I will never leave Kamui, he loves me, and I have to return that love or hurt him.
But I'll take what you wrote to me to heart Seishirou because Kamui loves me.
1 Love the one your with.
~Fin
