CHAPTER 8: THE WEIRDNESS NEVER ENDS Dante Conforti Normal Dante Conforti 4 11 2001-10-30T05:25:00Z 2001-11-06T19:38:00Z 3 1075 6132 Self 51 12 7530 9.2720

CHAPTER 8: THE WEIRDNESS NEVER ENDS

bIt's still the first day of the actual Capcom vs SNK 2 tourney, and we already have a fighter that's moved up in the ranks.  Terry Bogard defeated Ryuji Yamazaki last chapter with some pretty clever moves.  We also got a chance to hear the new announcer…*shudders*…who kept having his microphone mysteriously unplugged.  And let's not forget Ryo, who's been having a hard time telling his story about Geese to the other fighters.  Anyways, let's get on with Chapter 8!

In the men's locker room/b

KIM: *stretching out*

RYO: *walks up to Kim*  Hey Kim, how's it going?

KIM: Pretty good.  *does his shiny teeth smile*

RYO: That's cool.  How about you Chang?

CHANG: I'm good!  OOOOOH!  *does the Truffle Shuffle*

RYO: Uh yea…so what are you guys doing?

KIM: We're just getting stretched out.  We're gonna have a match later.  *does his shiny teeth smile*

RYO: Ah, I see.  *hears a loud ping next to him*

KIM: Chang, stop flinging boogers at Ryo.

CHANG: Sorry.

RYO: (o_o)

KIM: *walks over to a sink to wash his face*

RYO: *walks over to another sink to wash his face*

KIM: *drying his face off*  I heard you have a match later.  *does his shiny teeth smile*

RYO: Uh yea, I'm hoping that I'll win it.  Hey Kim, can I ask you something?

KIM: Sure.  *does his shiny teeth smile*

RYO: …how come you smile like that all the time?

KIM: It's a habit.  *does his shiny teeth smile*

RYO: Oh okay…well, I hope you do good in your match later.

KIM: Yeah, me too.  *does his shiny teeth smile*

RYO: Good luck.  *slaps Kim's back hard*

KIM: *his teeth fly out of his mouth*

RYO: *sees Kim's open mouth with only 3 yellow and decaying teeth*  Eeep!

KIM: *picks up his dentures*  Damnit!  I didn't put enough Poligrip in!  *puts his dentures back in*

RYO: (o_o)

KIM: Not a word to anyone…or else you die!  *jiggling his teeth around*

RYO: …ok.

KIM: Good.

RYO: …but…how…

KIM: Gingivitis.

RYO: …oh.

KIM: Remember…not a word to ANYONE…*walks away*

RYO: *pictures Kim's "real" teeth again*  Ugh…I think I'm gonna be sick…*runs toward the nearest open bathroom stall*

TODO: *steps in front of Ryo, blocking the stall*

RYO: Todo…move…NOW!  I need…the stall…

TODO: ASK FOR IT WITH YOUR POWER!

RYO: *throws up on Todo*

TODO: …

RYO: …

TODO: …

RYO: …

TODO: …YOU BASTARD!  *walks away yelling obscenities*

RYO: I told him to move, but he didn't believe me…WHY DIDN'T HE BELIEVE ME?!

IScene shifts to a McDonalds inside the building/I

TERRY: Wow, all that fighting sure makes me hungry.

ANDY: Really…I wouldn't know… *pouts*

TERRY: Awww…c'mon little bro, don't be like that.  I'm sure you'll be in the next tournament.

ANDY: I hope so.  *looks at the menu*  Gee, they don't have anything healthy here, do they?

TERRY: It's McDonalds…what do you think?

ROCK: (In JapaneseYea, dumbass…)

ANDY: *shoots a dirty look at Rock*

TERRY: Hey Balrog, I didn't know you worked here.

BALROG: This is a part-time job for me.

TERRY: Cool…give me a Big Mac meal.

BALROG: $10.00 please.

TERRY: WHAT?!  *gives a $20 bill to Balrog*  Man, I'm gonna bring my own food here from now on.

BALROG: I GOT PAID!  *puts the money in the drawer and gives back the change*

ANDY: Ok…umm…give me the healthiest meal you got.

BALROG: Double Quarter Pounder w/Cheese Meal…that'll be $15.00

ANDY: That's expensive…*hands Balrog exact change*

BALROG: I GOT PAID!  *puts the money in the drawer*

ROCK: (In JapaneseThis guy's a fucking retard.)  Big…Mac…Meal.

BALROG: $10.00.

ROCK: (In JapaneseThat's crazy…I should kick his ass for making me pay this much.)  *hands Balrog exact change*

BALROG: I GOT PAID!  *puts the money in the drawer*  (In JapaneseWatch who you call a "retard" kid…next time I'll kick your ass.)

ROCK: (o_o)

BALROG: (In JapaneseBet you didn't see that one coming.)  *gives all three of them their orders*

TERRY: *sits down at a table*  Mmmm…this looks good.

ANDY: Umm, excuse me…are you sure this is the healthiest thing you got?

BALROG: Sure…why do you ask?

ANDY: Well…my food is floating in grease…isn't that bad?

BALROG: Nope.

ANDY: …ok.  *leaves to sit down*

ROCK: *takes his food and quickly goes to sit down*

MANAGER: Here's your paycheck Balrog.  *gives Balrog his paycheck*

BALROG: I GOT PAID!!!  *rips off his shirt*

MANAGER: …I wish you would stop doing that.

IScene moves to the announcer's booth in the battle arena/I

ANNOUNCER: Our next match is coming up folks!  Until then, we'd like to show a word from one of our sponsors.  Here comes the commercial.  Wait, I have to shut up first don't I?  Maybe I should stop talking now.  Why do I keep talking like this?  Maybe it's because—*microphone cuts off*

CROWD: *looks up at the monitor in the arena*

ICommercial Begins/I

GEESE: *storms into his office*  Grrr….

BILLY: Hey boss, you have another bad day today?

GEESE: *looks at Billy*  What do YOU think?

BILLY: Well sir, you don't pay me to think.

GEESE: …true…what happened to your arm?

BILLY: Mr. Yagami ripped it off, sir.

GEESE: Oh, so you let Yagami rip your arm off, but you won't let me, your own boss, do it?

BILLY: Well sir, I—

GEESE: *rips Billy's other arm off*

BILLY: Very good, sir.

GEESE: Hmmm…I'm still not satisfied…maybe I should rip your head off…

BILLY: Um, sir…I have something for you.

GEESE: Oh?  What is it?

BILLY: *pulls out a big box*  It's the Beat-a-Bao Doll!

GEESE: Beat-a-Bao?

ANNOUNCER: That's right, Geese Howard.

GEESE: Who said that?

ANNOUNCER: It's the brand new Beat-a-Bao Doll!

GEESE: Who's talking?

ANNOUNCER: Beat-a-Bao is a life-size beat-em-up doll.  It comes with realistic parts, including breakable bones and bruisable skin!

GEESE: Really?  *opens the box up*

ANNOUNCER: And it includes a realistic voice simulator, which responds to your vicious attacks!  Beat-a-Bao is a wonderful contraption for relieving stress or just for having fun!  Go ahead, give it a try!

GEESE: *takes the Beat-a-Bao out of the box*  Wow…cool!

BAO: Wait, I'm not really a doll!

GEESE: And it's so realistic too!  *grabs Bao's arm*

BAO: No, they didn't have a doll ready for the commercial!  It's me, the real Bao!

GEESE: Oh my, it even begs and pleads realistically!  This'll save me lots of money on disposable henchman!

BAO: You don't understand!  Please…don't do it!  Noooo!!!!  *screen goes black*

ANNOUNCER: *Beat a Bao logo comes up*  Beat-a-Bao…the future in stress relievers!  Beat-a-Bao does not actually come with realistic begging and pleading.  Batteries sold separately.

BAO: *while screen is still black*  NO!  WAIT!  NOOOOO!!!!

IScene shifts to match registration desk/I

KIM: Hi, I'm here to report for my match.  *does his shiny teeth smile*

LADY: Name?

KIM: Kim Kaphwan.  *does his shiny teeth smile*

LADY: And you are?

CHANG: CHANG!  OOOOH!  *does the Truffle Shuffle*

LADY: Alright you can…hey, who's that?  *points to Choi who's standing behind Chang*

CHANG: Huh?

LADY: What's his name?

CHANG: Choi!

LADY: *checks list*  He's not on here…sorry, he's gonna have to leave.

CHOI: *whimpers*

KIM: Wait…he's Chang's pet monkey!

LADY: Pet monkey?

KIM: Hey, Nakoruru has a pet bird.

LADY: …true.  Already, go on through.

KIM: Thanks!  *does his shiny teeth smile*

bWhat a…weird chapter, folks.  Kim's secret has been revealed, Balrog knows Japanese, and Choi is now Chang's pet monkey!  What's in store for this team?  Will anyone else find out Kim's secret?  Stay tuned for Chapter 9, when Kim and Chang square off against E. Honda, Dhalsim, and Blanka./b