All right, so I lied. Don't get it? You'll see.

Chapter 20: Sacrifices

Buffy closed her eyes as she dived, unable to stand looking at the portal that could destroy her world if she didn't stop it. She waited, expecting pain to rip through her any second, tearing her apart.

It never came.

After a moment, Buffy opened her eyes. Why hadn't it ended yet? Was she dead already? The sight that met her eyes told her not. She was suspended somehow, hanging above the portal.

Okay, this was so not fair.

Here she was, doing the right thing, saving her sister's life and the world in the bargain, and what happens? She needed to fall. If that portal didn't close soon, the damage could be irreparable. She watched as something that looked suspiciously like a dragon burst out of the vortex.

Buffy's mind wasn't functioning at full speed. It had shut down when she jumped, an instinctive reflex so she wouldn't have to witness her own death. Now, the wheels were starting to spin again, and she suddenly wondered why it was that she wasn't falling.

Finally, her body responded to the prodding of her mind. Her senses picked up again, and she realised that there was something gripping her ankle. She looked up, and her eyes widened in surprise when she saw Spike's face.

He was hanging from the platform, his feet hooked around the edge. His hand had a crushing grip on her ankle, and his face was distorted with pain. She remembered the wound in his chest, wondered how the hell he was able to even move.

What did he think he was doing? He had to let go. She looked past Spike and saw Dawn, tears streaming down her face. It broke Buffy's heart to see that. Dawn wasn't meant to cry. She had jumped so Dawn could have a happy life. So Dawn could have a life, really, but it would be better if it was a good one.

But Dawn wasn't going to get anything if Spike refused to let go.

Buffy finally remembered how to use her mouth. "Spike," she yelled, "What the hell are you doing? Let me go!"

"Sod that," replied Spike through gritted teeth. "I'm not going to let you die."

Anger rushed through Buffy. "And you'd rather it was Dawn? It has to be one of us Spike, and I'm not letting it be her."

Spike didn't reply. Buffy watched as he closed his eyes, and after a moment, every sign of pain left his face. Suddenly he moved, pulling her up with more strength than she had ever credited to him. Before she could react, or struggle, she was lying with her back on the platform staring up at a sky that was being twisted and torn by the power of the vortex.

Gathering her wits about her, Buffy stood and looked at Spike. He was on his knees in front of her, clutching his chest and trying not to groan with pain. Somehow, he'd pushed it back for a few seconds. Buffy grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and made him stand.

"What do you think you're doing? I have to do this Spike."

Spike flinched at the anger in her voice, but he made himself stand firm. "I'm not going to let you die, Slayer."

Buffy slapped him, but then couldn't restrain herself any longer. Her voice cracked, and tears started to fall. "Spike, please. Don't make this harder than it already is. I love you, okay? Just remember that. But Dawn… I have to. I'm prepared to die for her."

Spike locked his gaze with hers. "So am I."

Buffy's eyes widened. Spike… no, he couldn't. It couldn't be him. "Spike, no! It won't do any good. It has to be me."

Spike shook his head. "No it doesn't. It has to be your blood, but you don't have to die."

Buffy froze. "No…" she whispered. She looked over Spike's shoulder at Dawn, who was crying freely. There were some things that were worth dying for, and she was one of them. Buffy looked at Spike again. He was another. "I don't want you to die, Spike."

"Better me than you, luv," he replied.

Buffy shook her head. "I said I was prepared to die for Dawn. Well, guess what. You're a part of this world that deserves to be saved. I want to do that for you."

Spike was speechless. Of all the arguments he had been prepared for, he hadn't expected that one. Buffy had just admitted that she loved him, then told him she was prepared to die for him. He'd never thought he'd ever hear that, and he wasn't sure that he really wanted to. It would be easier if Buffy still hated him, thought it was better to let him die in her place.

Love was meant to be a good thing. So why was it that it always made everything harder?

Spike sighed. He had to do this. The world needed Buffy more than it needed him. It had never needed him. She had people who loved her, who relied on her. He had nothing but her, and he'd do anything to make sure she continued to live.

Spike started out of his thoughts when he felt a hand clasp his. He turned his head and saw Dawn looking at him, her face filled with pain and her eyes overflowing with sorrow. So he did have someone other than Buffy. He gave her a weak smile, but she couldn't return it. She was someone else in this world that wanted him to stay. But it wasn't enough.

Of the three people on that tower, who deserved to die the most?

It was a strange question, and one that didn't even need to be answered. None of them really deserved to die. Spike may have done bad things in the past, but he was atoning, and that was the only way to make it right. Dawn's blood had opened the portal, and she'd only been human for about a year. So what? She was human now, and she had had no choice about what she was. She didn't deserve to die for things out of her control.

And then there was Buffy. If she'd killed Dawn when she found out that that was the way to end it all, then this wouldn't be happening. But how could she do that? Who could blame her for wanting to save the one person in the world that she needed to keep herself anchored to reality? She'd lived longer than any Slayer should, saved the world more times than he could count, and faced more evil than he had known existed.

Why should any of them have to die?

Spike cursed under his breath. There was no reason to the world, and if there was, it was bloody twisted. There was one way to save the world, and the world didn't care who did it. Most of the world wouldn't even know.

Spike raised his head to look Buffy in the eyes. "I'm doing this, luv."

"I'll stop you. I won't let you drink from me," she challenged him. "What then? We have to close it."

Spike smiled, but there was no humour in it. "The Nibblet needs you, pet. You'd just leave her like this when there's another way?"

Dawn scowled. They were talking like she had no place in this. It had been her blood that had caused this. Looking at Spike and her sister debating about who got to die to save her, she raged at the unfairness of it all. Ordinarily, she would be thrilled to have two people who loved her this much, but now it was just tearing her apart. She could step in and break up their fight, and simply tell them which one of them should jump. But how could she do that? She would be telling someone she loved to kill themselves, and she would feel like she'd killed them herself.

They had no right to do this to her. She knew that someone was going to have to die, and she couldn't stand to think of it being Buffy or Spike. They both had so much to live for. They were so powerful, and the world needed them. And they loved each other so much. She could see it just looking at them, and she couldn't deny them the chance to finally find happiness with someone.

Dawn knew that both Buffy and Spike had been hurt by people in the past. Spike had loved Drusilla, but she had left him, and he'd come back to Sunnydale a broken man. Buffy had loved Angel, but he'd turned evil and she'd had to kill him. Losing him had hurt her so badly she'd run away for months, unable to deal with the pain. Then he'd come back, and hurt her all over again. Add Riley leaving her into the bargain, and it all added up to an emotionally closed off Buffy.

Spike had helped her open up. He'd given her love unconditionally. It had freaked her out at first, but he'd changed so much because he loved her. And now they had a chance together, and they were about to ruin it all by killing themselves for her.

Well, screw that.

The portal had gathered enough energy to stretch itself to almost ten times the size it had been when it first opened. She could see the blue pulsating light through the gaps in the metal beneath her feet. She didn't have to reach the end of the platform to jump any more, and it would be over before Buffy and Spike realised what was going on.

They wouldn't notice until it was too late.

Taking a deep breath, Dawn risked one last look at them.

Big mistake.

Buffy was looking over Spike's shoulder, directly at her. She immediately saw the intention in Dawn's eyes and gasped, causing Spike to spin around. Before they could move to stop her, Dawn steeled her nerve and moved to jump.

"Dawn no!" cried Buffy, as she reached out an arm to try and catch Dawn before she fell.

Spike reacted differently. Hearing Buffy's gasp he spun around, only to see Dawn shift herself and dive off the platform. Without thinking he leapt after her. His hand closed around her ankle, and he thought for a moment that it might not be too late. Maybe he'd caught her in time.

Since when did he ever have good luck?

He swore as his foot missed catching the edge of the platform. He'd fallen too far, and there was no way back up. There was only one thing left he could do. Keeping a firm grip on her ankle, Spike pulled himself down so he was face to face with her. Her eyes were closed, and he wondered if she even knew if he was there.

He hugged her close to him, and her eyes opened in surprise. She opened her mouth to say something, but the wind from the speed of their descent tore the words away. There was no time for words, anyway. They would fall into the vortex any second now, and it was time for one last, desperate effort.

Spike kissed her on the cheek, and grabbed her hair and pulled it back from her neck. It might be too late for this, but he'd be damned if he didn't give it a shot. Without another thought, he vamped out and sank his fangs into her neck.

Dawn gasped as he punctured the skin on her neck. She tried to push him off but before she could move, everything went white, and the world disappeared.

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Buffy watched in horror as Spike dived after Dawn. After a moment's shocked hesitation she moved to catch him, but it was too late. Her outstretched hand missed his leg by inches, and it was all she could do to stop herself from jumping off after them in desperation.

From her position directly above the vortex, she could clearly see Spike and Dawn's figures silhouetted by the pulsating blue light below them. She watched, her body numb and her mind shut down, as Spike pulled Dawn to him and hugged her close.

It was the last she saw of them before they vanished into the light.

She stood, frozen, staring at the place where they disappeared. It seemed like it took forever, but slowly the vortex began to contract on itself. It shrank rapidly, the force of its light dimming as it got smaller. Noise registered in her mind as the final vestiges of the portal disappeared, but she didn't move.

She couldn't tear her eyes away from the last place she'd seen them. Images flashed through her mind, memories of them both, about them both.

"Come here, Buffy. This is your new baby sister."

"Can I take care of her?"

Nice job she did.

"Nice work, luv."

"Who are you?"

"You'll find out on Saturday"

"What happens on Saturday?"

"I kill you."

It would have been easier.

"Love isn't brains, children. It's blood. Blood pumping inside you and forcing you to work its will"

That's the truth.

"Who are you?"

"Buffy, you're hurting me."

"You're not my sister."

She was. Maybe not originally, but she was real.

"Not like he'd notice me anyway. Spike's totally into you."

Took her long enough to notice. Too long.

"What is this? The flask, the door - is this a date?"

"No! A date… hah! Bloody… do you want it to be?"

She handled that revelation well.

"Do you think I don't know that? This thing, with you. It's wrong, I know it. Do you think I like having you up here? Eating me up from the inside until there's nothing there and all that's left is you?"

There was nothing wrong with them. They could have been perfect, but the world screwed her over again.

"A vampire does have certain restrictions when it comes to feelings, since most of what we feel is taken over by the need to hunt. I don't have that any more, and everything I can feel now is taken up by you and the Nibblet. I don't have anything left, but I've given you more than I ever thought I had in me.

"I'm still a monster, but I'm the right kind of monster for you."

The force of the memories overwhelmed her. Buffy felt her legs go out from underneath her and dimly realised that she was sitting on the platform at the top of the tower. She knew she should move, but she couldn't find the energy to care. Her eyes lost focus and she stared into nothing, letting herself drown in what she wanted to remember.

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Giles and Xander cautiously approached the construction site. They'd left Buffy's house almost immediately after Spike, but they couldn't move as fast as him, even injured as he was. They would have taken Giles' car, but it was back at his place and it would have taken longer to go back for it.

They'd been about a minute away when the vortex had opened. The sky had lit up, and blasts of… something… had been causing havoc all over the place. Something like lightning had almost hit them, creating an enormous hole in the ground about twenty feet from where they had been standing.

And that hadn't been the worst of it.

But just when they'd thought it was going to end, that all their fighting had been for nothing, it had all stopped. The sudden silence had been deafening, and neither man could stop the chill that raced through them. The portal could only be closed by Dawn's blood, by her dying…

That thought had made them move again. Running as fast as they could to the construction site, ignoring all the horrible things they saw along the way. Damage control would come later. At that moment, their priorities were elsewhere.

Now that they were this close, they were afraid to take that final step. Neither Giles or Xander could stand the thought of finding Dawn's body, and Buffy and Spike should have been around somewhere as well. It was hard to image that they would have let the vortex be opened if they were still alive to fight it.

They rounded the final corner and prayed that it wouldn't be as bad as they were thinking.

It wasn't.

Not at first, anyway. Looking around, Xander couldn't find any trace of anyone. Anyone he knew, that is. Picking his way carefully through the rubble he saw more dead men and women than he could count. People that had no place being there. He could only assume that they were some of the poor people Glory had turned insane, people he'd seen earlier in the night, working on the tower.

Still, he couldn't find any trace of Buffy, Dawn or Spike. But there was a lot of dust, and if Spike was dead he could be any of it. Xander cursed himself for the thought. Spike had grown on him recently, and they'd become friends of sorts. Callous thoughts about finding Spike dust really weren't appropriate.

Xander focused his thoughts when he heard Giles yelling at him. "What?"

Giles pointed, and Xander lifted his eyes to the top of the tower. He couldn't see if there was anyone up there, but checking was better than sifting through the rubble on the ground and finding more of Glory's brainsuck victims.

Halfway up the stairs, Xander was regretting his choice. This tower was damn high, and he was probably just going to have to go back down and help again anyway. Still, he kept climbing, hoping he might find someone.

When he reached the top of the tower, Xander almost collapsed with relief. Buffy was sitting on the metal walkway protruding from the tower. He was so happy to find her alive that at first he didn't notice that she hadn't even looked at him.

He dropped down beside her and pulled her into a hug. She didn't resist, but it was when she didn't say anything or react in any way that he noticed that something wasn't right. He pulled back a little so he could see her face.

"Buff?" he gave her a little shake. "Buffy, you in there?"

He got no reaction from her, and it was starting to scare him. Something really bad must have happened to get her this way, and he had no idea what to do. The only thing he could think of was that he had to get her off this tower. Thankful that she was so small, he picked her up and started back down the stairs.

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Giles watched as Xander started his way up the tower He didn't want to go back to searching the rubble, but someone had to do it. There was no way he could live with himself if there was someone still alive buried somewhere and he didn't even try to find them.

He had to look. He had no idea if Buffy and Spike were still alive, but he had little hope of finding Dawn. She'd obviously been here before, since the vortex had been opened, but it closed, which meant… he didn't want to think about it.

The only thing for it was to keep searching. He picked his way through, trying not to think about the numbers of dead he'd seen. It was far too many, and it pained him that they'd never tried to find a way to cure Glory's victims.

His thoughts had wandered as he moved closer to the base of the tower. Too many people that they hadn't been able to save. Too many people dead because they'd refused to give up what Glory wanted. The portal had opened anyway. Would it have been more right? One life in exchange for so many?

Giles couldn't answer the question morally, but he knew what he felt. He would do anything to keep Buffy and Dawn safe, no matter what the cost.

The cost.

The cost was all around him.

And all he was looking for was them. He didn't even see the faces of the dead around him now. A quick glance, then he moved on. It may have been cold, but he could weep for the dead or fight for the living, and he'd learnt the lesson long ago that he had to fight.

He was almost at the base of the tower when he saw something that almost made his heart stop. Two bodies lying atop a pile of bricks, one on the other. Were they… he forced himself to move. He had to see if it was…

It was.

It was one of the most heart-wrenching things he'd ever seen. Spike and Dawn… Spike was on his back, his arms flung wide and his head hung back. His eyes were closed, and dried blood ran from his mouth. Dawn was lying face down on Spike, her arms curled close and her hear spread everywhere.

Giles couldn't tell if they were alive. If Spike died, he should have turned to dust, but Giles had been wondering lately if that would actually happen given his unique situation. But Dawn… he was almost afraid to find out.

Still, he had to know. If she was alive, she could be hurt, and in danger of dying every minute he stood there hesitating. It was this thought that forced him to move, but his steps were still reluctant as he came closer.

He was about three feet away when he though he saw Dawn's chest move. He was at her side in an instant, pulling her hair back to check for a pulse. What he saw shocked him to the core. Dawn's neck was covered in blood, and he could see two small puncture holes. He'd lived too long on the Hellmouth not to know exactly what that meant.

The problem was how it happened. There was blood around Spike's mouth, but he was meant to be on their side now. Why would he have bitten Dawn? He said he didn't even like human blood any more. And if he had fed off Dawn, why was he unconscious (or dead) at the bottom of the tower, with Buffy nowhere in sight? It didn't make any sense.

Giles put the question out of his head for the time being. It could be dealt with later, but the important thing now was to find out of Dawn was still alive. Gingerly avoiding the would and blood Giles pressed his fingers into Dawn's neck, searching for a pulse.

Nothing.

No, wait. There… it was weak, but it had fluttered under his fingers. It came again, and Giles heaved a sigh of relief. She was alive, but apparently she'd lost a lot of blood. He had to get her to a hospital.

Apart from the blood, he couldn't see any other wounds on her. Giles was about to bend down to pick her up when he heard Xander calling him. He looked up, and for the second time in less than a minute, he felt like his heart would stop. Xander was cradling a body in his arms, and Giles could tell instantly that it was Buffy.

He didn't move an inch as he watched Xander walk over to him. The boy didn't seem grief-stricken, so maybe that was a good sign. Or he could just be in shock.

Xander seemed to see the dread in Giles' eyes. He shook his head. "She's not dead. But… there's something wrong with her," his voice cracked. "I can't get her to answer me. It's like she doesn't even know I'm here."

Giles opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't find anything to say. Belatedly, Xander noticed the two figures lying at his feet. He sat Buffy down, laying her out gently. Her eyes stared straight up at the sky, and he couldn't stand looking at her any more. He turned his gaze to Dawn and Spike, but found the sight to be just as unsettling.

"Are they…" he asked, unable to finish.

Giles shook his head. "I don't know about Spike, but Dawn's alive. She's lost a lot of blood, we need to get her to a hospital as soon as possible."

Xander was confused, but he didn't mention his questions about Spike. Now wasn't the time. "I'll go call an ambulance. You'll stay here?"

Giles nodded, and Xander headed out of the construction site at a run. When he was gone, Giles turned his attention to Buffy. He knelt down next to her, and waved a hand in front of her eyes. She didn't blink, and he moved his hand away. Something had caused her to shut down, and nothing was going to get through to her.

Taking her hand in his, he sat down beside her and waited for help to arrive.

End Chapter 20

Okay, so it's another chapter that's not the last one. Next one is though, I swear.