Harry Potter = Not Mine. Please don't hurt me for having fun.

Bad poetry. Baaaaad. On purpose, but still. PG for implied bad words and some violence. The poems are as follows: Couplets, Limericks, I don't know, Cinquain, and Villanelle. And I really DO like Percy, but he's just so easy to make fun of. ^_^;


Poetic Graffiti
By Neko Juliano


The director of Muggle Studies "hmmph"ed as Filch stormed out of her office. "Honestly, what's with him? I propose a simple muggle poetry exercise, and the moment he hears of it, he goes ballistic." She rapped a few papers she was holding on top of her desk to even them out, and tossed them huffily into a pile. "Not like HE teaches classes. It's poetry! How much trouble can it possibly cause?"

And with that ominous line, she went on preparing her lesson.



On the door to the Quidditch stadium:

Go go Gryffindor!
You can do it, you can score!
We've got Spinnet, Katie Bell,
Not like their team, looks like (scribbled out)
Them and Johnson, chasers are
Ravenclaw's not up to par
Weasley twins, go swing your clubs
Slytherin could use some flubs
Not like Flint's not got enough
Against Wood he's not so tough
Harry Potter, catch that snitch
As for Malfoy, let him (also scribbled out)
'Oh, my poor arm! I'll tell dad,'
Shame his father's barking mad
Our team's awesome, our team's great
Hufflepuff is flob-worm bait
Why wait 'til this game's all done?
We know we've already won!



On the boys' Quidditch locker room wall:

There once was a git named Draco
Who flew on his broom like a jack-- oh,
His skills are so scary
He crashed into Harry
Which just goes to show he's a wacko

Beneath it:

The Gryffindors Georgie and Fred
Are a bit wrong in the head
Did a bludger hit you
And make you act two?
Spare us and go back to your bed!

Below that:
Oh, like your poetry's so hot,
You git-faced broomstick riding rot!



On the wall of the Girls' bathroom stall:

Harry Potter, he's a hottie,
No one else compares.
Not like Weasley's freckles spotty,
His strong point is hair.
Quidditch practice, it's so windswept,
Dashing and so wild.
Like the dreams of him that I've kept,
Where at me he smiled.
Harry Potter, you're my dream boy,
No one else will do.
I pass by and I feel such joy,
Knowing I've seen you.
I'm romantic, and I'm stylish
This you surely see.
So don't give me looks so vile-ish
Just go out with me!

To the side:

Handwriting 1: Ginny, is that you?

Handwriting 2: NO! It's NOT! Don't you think I did bad enough with the last one?

Handwriting 3: That's why she's asking!

Handwriting 2: Shut up!



In the Great Hall:

Weasley.
Hair is too bright.
Way too many freckles.
Muggle fire trucks aren't louder.
Dorky.

Malfoy
has his broomstick
shoved far, far up his back
side, yet he does not know that he's
stuck up.



In the Gryffindor common room:

Perfect Prefect Percy is a prat.
We all point out he has too much to say,
But it's not prudent to tell him that.

He doesn't prefer Hermione's cat.
He prattles that it's always in the way.
Perfect Prefect Percy is a prat.

We left his pinkish panties on the mat.
Houses ponder that he might be gay,
But it's not prudent to tell him that.

Previously he had a porky rat.
An owl's price we know he could not pay.
Perfect Prefect Percy is a prat.

Painstakingly done papers are at
The Great Hall table. Pressed with food they lay,
But it's not prudent to tell him that.

Bored to poetry, we students sat.
That he won't perceive this here, we pray.
Perfect Prefect Percy is a prat.
But it's not prudent to tell him that.

Below it:

Handwriting 1: Take those anti-erase spells off this INSTANT! I'll give detention to whomever did this!