Scene 8: Entering the Castle and The Time Warp:
Note to reader: Spike doesn't remember EVERYTHING that happened in the movie exactly. This causes problems for him, for he doesn't want anyone to remember who they really are until he's "done" with them.
Also, the chorus is being sung by the people of Sunnydale. This is important later in the story.
(Spike goes to the door. Outside are soaking wet Buffy and Xander)
Spike: (echo) Hello.
Xander: Hi! My name is is Brad Majors and this is my fiancee Janet Weiss.
Spike: (mutters to himself) I knew he'd be Brad.
Xander: Excuse me sir, but what are you talking about?
Spike: Oh, nothing. (Smirks)
Xander: Anyway, I wonder if you could help us. You see, our car broke down a few miles up the road... do you have a phone we might use?
Spike: (Is getting bored) Yeah, yeah. You're wet, I think you perhaps better both come inside and all of that crap.
Xander and Buffy: Huh?
Spike: Oh bloody hell, never mind. Just come in already.
Buffy: (Speaks with a hint of fear in her voice) You're too kind.
(The two enter the castle. They are cold and uncomfortable)
Buffy: Oh Brad, I'm frightened. What kind of a place is this?
Xander: Oh, it's probably some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdos.
Spike: This way. (Bumps into a statue.) Ow! No, I guess not. (Remembers which way Riff Raff went in the movie and leads them to the staircase.)
Buffy: (Whispers to Xander) This handyman is strange.
Xander: Nonsense, Janet. He must be a foreigner. Their ways are different from ours, dear.
Spike: (Mutters) No shit, Sherlock.
Janet: Are you having a party?
Spike: (Gets back into character) You've arrived on a very special night. It's one of the
master's affairs.
Janet: Oh... lucky him.
Spike: (Thinks to himself) Lucky me!
Drusilla: (Slides on banister downstairs) You're lucky, he's lucky, I'm lucky, we're all lucky! ha ha ha ha
Spike: (Mutters to himself) Oh yeah, forgot about that part. Oh crap, the Time Warp's coming. Uh oh, I better remember the words.
THE TIME WARP
Spike: It's, um, um,
Anya: (Screaming from narrator's office) Astounding, you nitwit!
Spike: Oh, right. It's astounding;
Time is fleeting;
Madness takes its toll.
But listen closely...
Drusilla: Not for very much longer.
Spike: I've got to, um...
Anya: Get a life!
Spike: Get a life. No wait, that's not right! (Thinks to himself) Just keep going, Spike. No one notices. Oh yeah, now I remember. I don't need Anya's help. I can do this on my own!
(Continues song)
Keep control
(Sings in a monotone voice, the complete opposite of the Riff Raff in the movie)
I remember doing the time warp
Drinking those moments when
The blackness would hit me
And a void would be calling...
Chorus: Let's do the time warp again.
Let's do the time warp again.
Giles: It's just a jump to the left.
Anya: Please G-d, not Giles! I don't think I can bear it.
All: And then a step to the right.
Giles: With your hands on your hips.
All: You bring your knees in tight.
But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane.
Let's do the time warp again.
Let's do the time warp again.
(Drusilla's solo starts)
Drusilla: It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me.
So you can't see me, no, not at all.
In another dimension,
with voyeuristic intention,
Well secluded,
I see all.
(Music stops. She starts laughing uncontrolably)
Mwah ha ha ha. The stars are all shining right in front of me, but they all are the same. Oh, the stars. (Starts to spin very fast)
Spike: Um, love. Love? (No response) Magenta darling, that's enough.
Drusilla: Oh, sorry Riff.
(Song continues.)
Spike: With a bit of a mind flip
Drusilla: You're into the time slip.
Spike: And nothing can ever be the same.
Drusilla: You're spaced out on sensation.
Spike: Like you're under sedation.
[Buffy faints. Xander catches her, and Spike laughs]
All: Let's do the time warp again.
Let's do the time warp again.
(Willow comes out dressed in black shorts, a sequin, rainbow, sleeveless top, tap shoes, a gold, glittery jacket and a gold, glittery top hat)
Willow: (Voice very squeaky and high)
Well I was walking down the street just having a think
When this snake of a guy gave me an evil wink.
He shook me up, he took me by surprise
He had a pickup truck, and the devil's eyes.
He stared at me and I felt a change.
Time meant nothing, never would again.
All: Let's do the time warp again.
Let's do the time warp again.
Giles: It's just a jump to the left.
All: And then a step to the right.
Giles: With your hands on your hips.
All: You bring your knees in tight.
But it's the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane.
Let's do the time warp again.
Let's do the time warp again.
(Willow tap-dances and like Columbia, falls on her ass. She slams her hat on her head and stamps away)
All: Let's do the time warp again.
Let's do the time warp again.
Giles: It's just a jump to the left.
Anya: Oh no, not the desk! Anything but the desk. (Giles goes on the desk to narrate.) Ug, this can't get worse
All: And then a step to the right.
Giles: With your hands on your hips.
All: You bring your knees in tight.
But it's the pelvic thrust
that really drives you insane.
Anya: G-d, I apologize. Seeing Giles doing the pelvic thrust tops him climbing on his desk.
Let's do the time warp again.
Let's do the time warp again.
(Everyone collapses on the floor. Spike forgot about this part, but then realizes it and falls on the ground 5 seconds after everyone else has fallen. All except Xander and Buffy.
Buffy: (Whispers) Brad, say something.
Xander: Say, do any of you guys know how to Madison?
(Buffy groans after this comment, for even her character realizes what a putz "Brad" can be)
Buffy: Brad, please, let's get out of here.
(Spike cuts off Xander's line, for he thinks it's his.)
Spike: For christ sake, Buf... I mean Janet. It's just a party.
(A voice comes from upstairs. It sounds very familiar.)
Voice: Hey, Spike. Not too familiar with the Rocky Horror script, eh?
Spike: Of course I am. I'm just not too familiar with the exact lines.
(Pauses for a second)
Oh my G-d, it's you!
(To be continued)
