TITLE: Twas the Night Before X-Mas

AUTHOR: --Starbuck--

GENRE: Humor/Parody

SUMMARY: Kinda goes along with my 9 Seasons of X-Files...I know everything doesn't rhyme, but please just read anyways. ^_^

RATING: G

ARCHIVE: If you want to, it can go anywhere...just email me so I'll know where it's going.

Twas the night before X-Mas,

And all through the Bureau,

Not a creature was stirring,

Except for a few.

The keychains were hung,

By the UFO with care,

In hopes that the aliens,

Would soon be there.

The agents were all nestled,

Snug in their beds,

While Krycek and Spender,

Put implants in their heads.

And Cassandra in her wheelchair,

And Smokey in his,

Had just settled down,

For a long lifetime's nap.

When out in Bellefleur,

There arose such a clatter,

Mulder and Scully got on the next plane,

to see what was the matter.

Away to Oregon,

They flew with a flash,

No turbulence this time,

Jumped out of the plane and took off in a dash.

The lights from a UFO,

In the dark woods,

Gave the lustre of midnight,

To the forest below.

When what to their wide-opened eyes should appear,

But another abductee,

With a chip in their ear.

With a flash of light,

And a tractor beam,

The abductee went away,

With a piercing scream.

More rapid than Skinner,

They ran really fast,

Mulder and Scully ran out of those woods,

And back do D.C.

Now AIRPLANES, now LARIAT,

Now TAXI and UFO!

On FBI, on CIA,

On GOVERNMENT GUYS, stop the CONSPIRACY!

To the top of the building!

To the Antartic!

Now abduct someone else! And fly away once and for all!

As dry leaves before the Syndicate...er...fly,

*Another* UFO fell from the sky,

So up to the Hoover Building,

The citizens they flew,

With a head full of doubts,

And some fright, too.

And then in an abduction,

I heard on the roof,

The screaming and ranting,

And occasionally a "poof."

And I drew in a breath,

And was laughing a lot,

Down the scary alien,

Came with a "pop."

He was colored all green,

From his head to his toes,

And his head was all round,

With big eyes, like giant black bowls.

A weird little gun,

He had in his hand,

And he looked very murderous,

So I choked on my laugh.

His eyes--how the glared!

His green skin, how creepy!

His cheeks were gaunt,

his nose not apparant!

His small scary mouth,

was full of sharp teeth,

And the blood that ran through,

An awesome, acidic green.

The slithering voice,

That seemed to come from his teeth,

Sounded high and scary,

Made up of many beeps.

He had a flat face,

And a round little head,

That quivered at the touch,

Of his three-fingered hand.

He was skinny and tall,

A right alien dude,

And I screamed when I saw him,

In spite of myself.

A glint in his eye,

And a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know,

I had *a lot* to dread.

I thought 'MULDER, HELP!!!!!!!!',

But spoke not a word,

Except a scared yelp,

Then turned with a jerk.

And slamming the door behind me,

As I ran really fast,

Gave another scream,

Breathing really fast.

I sprang up the stairs,

To Mulder's cellphone I dialed,

And away I flew,

Like Scully from the camera people on COPS.

But I heard the alien exclaim,

As I jumped into Mulder's car and drove out of sight,

"COME BACK HERE YOU COWARD!

OR I'LL GET YOU TOMORROW NIGHT!!!"

--FIN--