Notes: This story takes place right after Return of the King. Everyone is
celebrating and enjoying what looks to be a long peaceful reign. However,
Sauron, while terribly weak, is not completely destroyed as most people
believe. deciding at last that an eye couldn't do much of anything, he left
that form and used his one last talent(possessing people) to take a
stronger and far more useful form. Unfortunately, due to some mishap, he
ended up becoming Arwen. Sad, really. Meanwhile, Raine, a ranger and
longtime . . . companion of Aragorn is on her way to visit him as king.
Raine marched resolutely up the palace steps, trying her best not to feel intimidated. It was bad enough that she had to come here and see her best friend(and more, hint hint) dote upon his new wife(who was damn useless in her opinion), but now she was beginning to feel out of place seeing all the Lords and Ladies dressed in their finery. She was still dressed in her green and brown forest garb, her sword hanging of her belt and a variety of throwing knives hidden in various pockets. The sleeves were rolled up to the elbows, displaying several scars she had earned, though now she was wishing she hadn't done so.
Raine approached a small chamber and was confronted by a short staunchy man holding a scroll.
"Name, please, and time of appointment?" he asked.
"Appointment?" she replied, confused, "I though I just-"
The scribe sniffed in disdain and said, "Well, I'll put you on the list, but you'd better be prepared to wait awhile. The King is very busy, you know."
He thought she was a complete moron.
"Whom should I say seeks an audience with his Majesty?"
"Raine the ranger for Strid- oh, I mean er. . . King Aragorn."
He sniffed again, as if he would rather swim through a pit of vipers than announce a ranger just out of the forest had arrived. Raine had a delightful image of a viper sinking its venom into the scribe's ass as she went to take a seat.
"I think it would be more punishing for the snake though," she thought cheerfully, and still had a smile on her face when Aragorn burst out through the throne room.
Tall, dark, handsome, he was just the way she remembered him. Rising, Raine was unsure whether she should bow, or curtsy, or something but Aragorn answered that question for her by wrapping his her in his huge arms and squeezing tight. Almost instantly, the familiar fire spread through her body, and every cell began to burn at his touch.
"Oh no!" she groaned inwardly, "I can't still be in love with him, that was ages ago!"
"I missed you," he said softly, pushing her back to get a better look.
"I know!" she exclaimed, covering up her feelings, "I want to hear all about your adventures-"
"Yes, yes," he said excitedly, "and I can't wait to hear about yours. But come, first you must meet my wife."
This was the part Raine had been dreading the most. She had no desire to meet that man-stealer, that whore! Yet she put on her bravest face, the one used for battle, and followed the king into the throne room.
At first, Arwen was exactly what Raine thought she would be. She was sitting there in her expensive gown and precious jewels, surround by eight handmaidens in frilly dresses, not doing a damn thing.
"Oh, I'm gonna knock this bitch out," Raine thought irritably.
"Arwen, this is Raine; Raine, Arwen," Aragorn said, his eyes shining with pleasure as he looked at his queen.
"I'm like so pleased to meet you," came a clearly masculine voice in an obvious female falsetto.
Raine was relieved by this. After all, Aragorn had gone through the trouble to put a corssdresser on the throne instead of Arwen to welcome her, which to Raine was a fairly humorous joke. And the queen couldn't be too bad a person if she was going through with this.
But as she walked closer, she felt the dark power that surrounded him and saw the glowing red eyes that had haunted her dreams for so long. . .
"Holy shit!" she yelled, a throwing knife materializing into her hand, "It's Sauron!"
Incredibly, impossibly, Aragorn's wife was the dark wizard of tales. Sauron was indeed before her, dressed in expensive velvets and pearls, fanning himself with a silk fan.
"What are you talking about?" Aragorn demanded deftly grabbing her wrist and pulling away her knife.
"Aragorn, look! The eyes, the aura, surely you of all people would recognize Sauron!"
"Dearest, what is like this commoner like talking about?" Sauron squealed in a high-pitched voice.
"Look, just because you don't like the way she looks, doesn't give you the right to call her mean names," Aragorn stated, then added softly, "You'll make her cry."
Raine stood there completely stunned, but spun around hurriedly when she heard a clatter. One of the handmaidens had dropped her fan and as she picked it up, the ranger saw the clawed skeletal hand quickly disappear under folds of pink fabric.
"Oh Hell! Ringwraiths!" she shrieked, pointing at the wraiths with pink frilly dresses and curly blonde wigs, "Aragorn look! Can't you see how ghastly they are?"
"Raine, careful what you say about the ladies," Aragorn said sternly, "they are quite sensitive about their appearance. Poor, delicate things."
The maidens/wraiths giggled appreciatively, while behind her Arwen/Sauron chuckled darkly on his throne.
"You will be staying awhile right?" Sauron screeched, smoothing out the folds in his dress, "We would like so love the company of like a ranger. . .umm. . .like?"
"Oh you simply must stay," Aragorn said, sounding more like a giddy three-year old instead of a king.
Raine's gaze flicked from Sauron, to the Ringwraiths, to Sauron again, and finally settled on Aragorn.
"Of course I'll stay," she said with an uneasy smile, watching a Ringwraith apply lipstick "You didn't think you could run a kingdom without me, did you?"
Okay, this was basically just a bunch of setup(since I didn't have a lot to go off of), the second part is funnier, I swear!
Raine marched resolutely up the palace steps, trying her best not to feel intimidated. It was bad enough that she had to come here and see her best friend(and more, hint hint) dote upon his new wife(who was damn useless in her opinion), but now she was beginning to feel out of place seeing all the Lords and Ladies dressed in their finery. She was still dressed in her green and brown forest garb, her sword hanging of her belt and a variety of throwing knives hidden in various pockets. The sleeves were rolled up to the elbows, displaying several scars she had earned, though now she was wishing she hadn't done so.
Raine approached a small chamber and was confronted by a short staunchy man holding a scroll.
"Name, please, and time of appointment?" he asked.
"Appointment?" she replied, confused, "I though I just-"
The scribe sniffed in disdain and said, "Well, I'll put you on the list, but you'd better be prepared to wait awhile. The King is very busy, you know."
He thought she was a complete moron.
"Whom should I say seeks an audience with his Majesty?"
"Raine the ranger for Strid- oh, I mean er. . . King Aragorn."
He sniffed again, as if he would rather swim through a pit of vipers than announce a ranger just out of the forest had arrived. Raine had a delightful image of a viper sinking its venom into the scribe's ass as she went to take a seat.
"I think it would be more punishing for the snake though," she thought cheerfully, and still had a smile on her face when Aragorn burst out through the throne room.
Tall, dark, handsome, he was just the way she remembered him. Rising, Raine was unsure whether she should bow, or curtsy, or something but Aragorn answered that question for her by wrapping his her in his huge arms and squeezing tight. Almost instantly, the familiar fire spread through her body, and every cell began to burn at his touch.
"Oh no!" she groaned inwardly, "I can't still be in love with him, that was ages ago!"
"I missed you," he said softly, pushing her back to get a better look.
"I know!" she exclaimed, covering up her feelings, "I want to hear all about your adventures-"
"Yes, yes," he said excitedly, "and I can't wait to hear about yours. But come, first you must meet my wife."
This was the part Raine had been dreading the most. She had no desire to meet that man-stealer, that whore! Yet she put on her bravest face, the one used for battle, and followed the king into the throne room.
At first, Arwen was exactly what Raine thought she would be. She was sitting there in her expensive gown and precious jewels, surround by eight handmaidens in frilly dresses, not doing a damn thing.
"Oh, I'm gonna knock this bitch out," Raine thought irritably.
"Arwen, this is Raine; Raine, Arwen," Aragorn said, his eyes shining with pleasure as he looked at his queen.
"I'm like so pleased to meet you," came a clearly masculine voice in an obvious female falsetto.
Raine was relieved by this. After all, Aragorn had gone through the trouble to put a corssdresser on the throne instead of Arwen to welcome her, which to Raine was a fairly humorous joke. And the queen couldn't be too bad a person if she was going through with this.
But as she walked closer, she felt the dark power that surrounded him and saw the glowing red eyes that had haunted her dreams for so long. . .
"Holy shit!" she yelled, a throwing knife materializing into her hand, "It's Sauron!"
Incredibly, impossibly, Aragorn's wife was the dark wizard of tales. Sauron was indeed before her, dressed in expensive velvets and pearls, fanning himself with a silk fan.
"What are you talking about?" Aragorn demanded deftly grabbing her wrist and pulling away her knife.
"Aragorn, look! The eyes, the aura, surely you of all people would recognize Sauron!"
"Dearest, what is like this commoner like talking about?" Sauron squealed in a high-pitched voice.
"Look, just because you don't like the way she looks, doesn't give you the right to call her mean names," Aragorn stated, then added softly, "You'll make her cry."
Raine stood there completely stunned, but spun around hurriedly when she heard a clatter. One of the handmaidens had dropped her fan and as she picked it up, the ranger saw the clawed skeletal hand quickly disappear under folds of pink fabric.
"Oh Hell! Ringwraiths!" she shrieked, pointing at the wraiths with pink frilly dresses and curly blonde wigs, "Aragorn look! Can't you see how ghastly they are?"
"Raine, careful what you say about the ladies," Aragorn said sternly, "they are quite sensitive about their appearance. Poor, delicate things."
The maidens/wraiths giggled appreciatively, while behind her Arwen/Sauron chuckled darkly on his throne.
"You will be staying awhile right?" Sauron screeched, smoothing out the folds in his dress, "We would like so love the company of like a ranger. . .umm. . .like?"
"Oh you simply must stay," Aragorn said, sounding more like a giddy three-year old instead of a king.
Raine's gaze flicked from Sauron, to the Ringwraiths, to Sauron again, and finally settled on Aragorn.
"Of course I'll stay," she said with an uneasy smile, watching a Ringwraith apply lipstick "You didn't think you could run a kingdom without me, did you?"
Okay, this was basically just a bunch of setup(since I didn't have a lot to go off of), the second part is funnier, I swear!
