Two hands gingerly touched the area and experimentally moved her toes. It was healing rather nicely, in a day or two she wouldn't need the helpful stick. She furrowed her eyebrows slightly. The past few days had been spent in smoothing the large object as a small hobby. Now all the bark was off and she had found a rough enough rock to sand any possible splinters from it. She had even used a blackened stick from one of the fires and made a few designs, as well as stenciling in her name in Chinese letters. Her eyes narrowed tensely. One of the workers found her while she was putting her name on the stick and asked what 'mumbo jumbo' language that was. The muscles in her stomach clenched. She could NOT ignore that racial comment about her proud heritage and told the worker off. Of course she was sent to Catherine about such rudeness, but was able to defend her case and no more was said about her mother's homeland.
Experimentally, she rotated her foot and was pleased at the lack of pain. Now all she had to deal with was the discoloration. That was easily fixed though. Grabbing the bandage, it was secured back on her foot, along with her sock and shoe. She grabbed the stick and went to spy on the show in progress, waiting for the animals to be brought back in.
Walking up to the entrance, he stood a few foot behind Washu in full costume, waiting for them to be called. Cathy had to untangle a few strands of hair that locked with her earring, requiring a mirror to do so. He'd watched Washu examine her foot, noticing its still black and blue condition. Still, she seemed to be walking better, as evidence shown by her shoe. But she still used the stick she'd grabbed from their last destination. He had seen her create the designs on the wood and heard the men's jokes. He had also heard them talk about her when she wasn't around. Complimenting her exotic Chinese beauty, yet cursing her foul behavior. He'd quietly compounded all the jokes, nicknames, and stories. And the rumors about why she had hitched a ride on the bottom of the train, and where she was going. He didn't take one of them to heart, mostly because he didn't care. He wasn't about to condemn her when he just recently stopped being a Gundam pilot. But he DID agree about their comments toward her attitude. Since they had met, she had either ignored him, given him that uncaring stare, or snipe a rude comment. Which he would come back with a cool response to every time.
Washu turned around and found Trowa staring at her, or maybe past her and to the arena. She HOPED that was it anyway. There were times when she found him staring at her for no purpose. That visible green eye made her uncomfortable, so she tried to let it slip by her notice. She was so used to the others never giving her a second glance, except for Catherine. She had NO clue what interest the perky woman had in her and it caught her off-guard. Turning back to the crate, she sat in a lotus position and closed her eyes, ignoring him.
"Are we up?" Trowa looked over at Cathy walking over. Washu's ears perked up as she approached, but gave her no more attention. She smoothed out the fabric, smiling at Trowa.
"Almost." He answered. She walked up to the opening, looking at the crowd and the show. she took note of the young girl to her right and cast her eyes over with an interested glance. Her posture was impeccable, yet her face looked tired. She had seen Washu mediating numerous times since she'd found her. if she had a free minute, the Chinese girl would sit down and shut the world out. Cathy wished she would take that time to open up instead of shut down. She wished to get to know this mysterious, cold girl who hardly paid her any mind. Applause sounded, jerking Washu's eyes open. Locking on Catherine's close position, they showed a muted surprise before being blanked out.
"We're up little bro." She cast her eyes to Trowa and waited for their names to be called.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Don't forget Washu, you're important tonight." She rolled her eyes and walked away from Catherine to put the lions away. Catherine dropped her hand, having meant to give the girl a reassuring pat on the shoulder. She had asked Washu to be one of the musicians to Trowa's surprise party tonight. The morning Trowa had returned, she started planning a welcome back party. Everybody but Trowa knew about it and was sworn to secrecy, even Washu. Though the girl wouldn't even LOOK at Trowa, so Cathy knew there was no problem. She turned her gaze from the path Washu took to go change. She had heard Washu play, though she wouldn't play around humans. She had a gift, yet would only play for herself or the animals. It puzzled Catherine, but she changed her thinking to Trowa's party and hoped Washu would play.
"Ok, I think we're alone." She looked around discretely before snapping the leashes off the four collars. Instead of walking behind them, she held her pace beside them. Halfway to the cage proved too far for her hand and she stopped. "Just give me a minute." She asked, flexing the hand that helped her walk. She leaned against one of her friends for balance. The youngest walked over and nuzzled his head against her leg carefully. "It's okay." She told him. She reached down and petted him with her tired hand. "See? I just needed to let the muscles rest." She moved away from Tireen and gripped her walking stick. Tireen stepped in front of her and looked up into Washu's midnight eyes. She looked back puzzled. "Tireen? Come on, you need to MOVE so I can get you set for the night." The lion seemed to speak to Washu through her eyes. A foot came out and tapped the stick, nearly knocking it from her hand. "What Tireen? What do you need?" The elder lion walked over to Tireen and rested his head over her back, staring at Washu. She smiled kindly. "Ah, I see. You're offering your services eh?" She smirked. "I'm no lightweight." The lion gave a small growl and Washu straddled her carefully. Her stick delicately situated to not hurt the female lion, her hands and feet positioned over her back for balance. Together the five of them slowly made their way to the cages, knowing the way.
If ANY bystander saw the amazing spectacle, they would be in apparent shock; a girl riding a wild beast with three others protectively near her? She would be a show all by herself. If one of the workers saw, they would disbelieve that four lions were as tame as household cats, but with Washu there was ALWAYS the unexpected. Rumors flew around that she talked to the animals and they understood her. One reason she got along with them so well. Others said she was an enchantress and cast a spell over the animals. But they were just RUMORS, right?
She shut the cage and set the lock. Her hands cradled the bars as her face leaned against the cage, partially for balance. "Thanks for your help you guys." Tireen softly growled at her and tossed her head. She smiled lovingly. "Well I know you didn't HAVE to give me a ride Tireen. But I appreciate it. And my foot feels better too." The female walked over and licked her hand.
"Hey little Washu!" Her walls shot up and the smile left her face. "Quit wasting time and go grab your guitar!" Her hands gripped the bars before she abandoned her anger. Reaching out, she scratched the female's chin.
"Guess I'd better stop 'lagging'. I'll see you guys later." She winked at the two and turned toward the tent.
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"Come ON Trowa! I wanna show you this new twist for our act." He nearly stumbled along as she tugged impatiently at his arm. "Come on, it won't take LONG."
"Then why not show me tomorrow?" He asked, trying to keep pace with her.
"Don't TELL me you're TIRED. You NEVER sleep." She smiled playfully, a twinkle in her eye. "Don't be a stick in the mud. Come on, we're almost THERE." She urged. He gave up and decided to let her lead him the rest of the way to the circus tent. When they reached the flap, he tugged it aside and let her enter. "Here we ARE." She announced loudly. He looked at her in the dark, curious at her behavior. His ears picked up movement and he knew they weren't alone. Suddenly, all the lights were turned on. The room was bathed in light, making everyone from the circus visible.
"SURPRISE!" They shouted. Everyone cheered and clapped. He looked around stupefied and then at Cathy. She smiled.
"You set this up." He bluntly stated.
"Welcome HOME Trowa!" She happily announced. She grabbed his hand and dragged him to the center of the madness.
She strummed the guitar skillfully, playing a nonsense melody. She tried to block everything out but the music, but everyone was being so LOUD. She started thinking up excuses before she planned her exit. She looked every once in a while from the music at the guest of honor and found a slight smile on his face or amusement in his eyes. Ever since he'd reacquainted himself with the circus, tonight was the MOST she'd ever seen him somewhat pleased. Her eyes focused back on the guitar when two of the workers lumbered up to her.
"So, you like so far?" He looked over at her innocent eyes. He gave her a reassuring smile.
"It's a good surprise Cathy." He said, looking out at the party. She beamed. She stood contently by him and looked at the party with him. Her eyes narrowed curiously as two of the men approached Washu with a slow gait. Her brain tingled.
'I hope they don't start anything. Please not TONIGHT.' She asked. A small motherly instinct flooded her veins, sending off warning signals at the display she was watching. She took a step toward the girl, but a hand wrapped around her arm and prevented her from going any further.
"She can take care of herself." He said, not letting go. Cathy looked at Trowa in confusion and looked into his eyes. Apparently, he had seen what was going on too.
"Come on little Washu. Play me a song." She gritted her teeth to keep from saying anything. "Cat got your tongue? I'm requesting something here. Not THAT hard to strum the strings."
"DON'T call me little Washu." She bit out darkly.
"Why not? It fits in with the LITTLE amount of emotion you have." The other worker snickered in his attempt to hide laughter. Washu looked at the man kneeling in front of her. She narrowed her eyes slightly.
"Pompous jerk." She bit out. The man above them started laughing at his friend.
"She told YOU didn't she?" He joked.
"Oh shut UP Earl." He reached over and lightly smacked the man's leg.
"Hey. What do you think you're DOING?" Earl reached down and slapped his friend on the back of the head.
"What'd you do THAT for?" Both were nearly nose-to-nose, obviously not claiming all their wits.
"I was just PLAYING. Lay OFF."
"Yea well how to YOU like being called a jerk?" Hands reached out and shoved the man. "Huh?"
"You're ASKING for it Don." Earl narrowed his eyes, feeling anger spark in his veins.
"You think you're MAN enough to TAKE me?" He challenged. A chill ran up her spine at the noise level. Hands tightened over the guitar, panic filtering through her system. She kept her wide eyes on the two and blindly reached for her stick. Turning the guitar so it rested on her back, she stood up and left as quickly as she could.
'Oh NO!' She hurried over to the two men before they started throwing fists and regretting it. She spotted Washu backing away then nearly fleeing. 'Washu?' She was confused, but had an issue to deal with here. When she put herself in between the two, she saw Trowa next to her.
"Go find her." She ordered, then turned her attention to the men. He had the look in his eyes of 'why ME'? But he saw the angry look in her eyes and decided not to go down the road of resistance. He nodded before sidestepping the whole ordeal to go search.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A shiver made its way through her body without consent. She tried to brush it off, but the feeling wouldn't go away. Old-fashioned terror. She had the false hope that she was safe, but the anger showed he just how foolish she was being. Her arms tightened their hold as her face buried into the comforting darkness. Ears picked up the heartbeat that thudded close to her. A semblance of a purr sounded from within, trying to sway her emotions. Time seemed to take forever as she put the torrent of emotions back where they came from. She leaned back and looked into wise amber eyes. Her fingers ran over the shaggy mane, soothing her heart. "I should get out of here before someone sees." She muttered. The amber eyes blinked as if agreeing. She carefully stood up and grabbed her walking stick, careful not to hit the guitar on her back. When she'd clicked the lock, she sat near a log by the fire. She turned the old-fashioned guitar and ran her hands over it lovingly, trying to draw out the spirits of her grandparents. Nothing came to comfort her and she still felt small and scared.
"Nothing will EVER change for me will it?" She asked softly, looking at the strings. A soft growl came in question. "My past. I will ALWAYS been running. Try as I might. I TRY to banish all those emotions, to not think. When people knew what was going on at home, they looked at me with pity." Her eyes narrowed painfully. "I didn't WANT their pity. The people HERE don't know and if I can keep them ALL away, maybe I'll be SAFE from the memories." She sighed and absentmindedly plucked the strings. "I just get so TIRED of being cold and mean. Momma wouldn't have liked my behavior. She raised me to be a polite girl. Gam and Gappa too." The soft melody turned sad as an actual song started to form. "They'd be so ashamed of me. seeing their only granddaughter like...HIM." She clenched her jaw in apprehension. "He's to blame for it ALL." Tears of anger rushed to the surface. "It's HIS FAULT I'm LIKE this." Her voice rasped, carrying all hidden animosity with it. "I'd be with momma now if he hadn't-" Her throat convulsed. Her head drooped as she admitted silent defeat. She couldn't even say it. To say the actual WORDS would mean admittance of the truth. The same horrible, painful truth she had left home to avoid. She tried to blink away the tears before they fell. So now she just had to hide her true self from everybody. She looked up at the lions. The animalswere the ONLY creatures that knew her REAL self. She didn't owe them any explanations and they still cared for her. and she treated them as equals in return, never patronizing them unless it was in front of other people. Words flew into her head from an invisible muse, whispering inspiration in her ear. Lyrics so true, she could claim them as her own. She looked at her friends as they looked at her. the guitar's melody sounded and she knew it went with the words.
Look at me
You may think you see who I really am, but you'll never know me
Everyday, it's as if I play a part
Now I see, if I wear a mask I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart
She inhaled to sing more, but footsteps sounded near her. her walls quickly shot up, not wanting to let anybody else know the shame she'd felt. Not when they all thought bad about her; now was too late to change. Her head whirled around at the source as the music died. It was him. Whatever reasonable idea was put in his head to find her, he'd known where to look. He knew more than others, which surprised her. now was a prime example to do anything, say something to explain her behavior. Panic choked her. No. It was too soon. She didn't want to let him in till she was stronger. She clutched the guitar and took off, forgetting the stick at her feet. A small amount of pain registered from the pressure, but she ignored it. He stood in shock for a split second before taking off after her without another thought. He jumped over the fire and bypassed the lions, only to be swallowed up by the forest. He was tired of her taking off whenever she wanted to, especially when she had people willing to help her. He kept his pace as silent as possible while he listened for her footsteps. He was forced to stop when only silence greeted his ears. He narrowed his eyes slightly as they perked up to every possible sound. There was a light tapping, but it was faint. She was fast, he had to give her that. Pinpointing the direction, he took off again, being careful not to give away his own position. He stopped once again when he was met with silence. He looked around the forest, but darkness greeted his eyes. The crickets were a formidable enemy for his ears, soft yet seemingly everywhere. He closed his eyes and let the forest be dealt with by sound only. Time stopped. The crickets seem quiet enough to let the soft lilting sounds of music pass. His eyes popped open. He acquainted himself with the familiar melody as well as the direction. Slowly, he crept through the forest.
"I could have told him. I could have bled my heart and he would know every gory detail. Ahh momma, I do not wish to sully your name by dragging your honor through the mud. Someday...maybe somebody will know." She stared at the moon, enchanted as it gazed back at her. "Till then I will carry the stains until the emotional demons are dealt with." The melody flew from her fingers softly. "Ah my muse. Are you trying to tell me something? Though you could not have picked a more lovely place to draw out my sorrows. Beauty is only skin deep eh?" She looked around at the small island she had waded to. It wasn't hard to cross the knee length water, nor was it a large island. No trees dotted its surface, just soft clover and wild grass. Crickets played their own songs in the distance. "No time like the present." Her fingers strummed the chords at the beginning and she sang without interruptions.
Look at me
You may think you see who I really am, but you'll never know me
Everyday, it's as if I play a part
Now I see, if I wear a mask I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart
She
cast her eyes to her face in the still pond, seeing a blur from the light
of the moon.
Who is that girl I see?
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show who I am inside?
All
the old emotions threatened to choke her voice. yet she stayed strong to
let the truth be known. Tears gathered and made the moon waver.
I am now in a world where I have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow I will show the world what's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am
Her
voice wavered as the emotion flew away, leaving her empty. Her gaze drifted
back to the water and looked on sadly.
Who is that girl I see?
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show who I am inside?
There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why
Why must we all conceal what we think, how we feel?
Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide
The
seemingly unsure voice gathered strength from her ancestors. Midnight eyes
looked at the silver sphere, doting a silent promise through a ballad.
I won't pretend that I'm someone else for all time
When will my reflection show who I am inside?
When will my reflection show who I am inside?
Quietly,
he slipped from hiding among the bushes. He had obviously judged her too
harshly, like all the others. Cathy was right, it WAS a personal event
she was running from. His mind was whirling as he silently traced his way
back to camp. Appearances were often deceiving, as seen in this case. His
mind trailed back to when he'd first seen her with the animals. H didn't
recognize her and was going to say something, but she acted like she was
troubled. The lions looked content and not at all threatened by her. could
he have misjudged her? The only person that hadn't given up on her was
Catherine. The sounds and smells of camp grew closer as he approached.
He'd seen the look on her face when he'd approached. She was too caught
up in her emotions to notice him. a haunted sadness and fear adorned her
small features, something he didn't think she recognized. She seemed scared
of nothing. But what if that was all a show? He knew how to act like nothing
bothered him and he knew a few pilots that were the same way.
"When
people knew what was going on at home, they looked at me with pity. I didn't
WANT their pity. The people HERE don't know and if I can keep them ALL
away, maybe I'll be SAFE from the memories."
He hadn't MEANT to listen in, but she was paying him no mind and he was in earshot. It DID make sense though. If she kept everybody away, she wouldn't have to think. A finger rose as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. Whatever she was going through seemed too painful to handle alone. But by keeping everyone out, she could forget whatever she was trying to escape. It seemed the wrong way to go about doing it. He'd heard her speak of honor, but she was running away and not facing the problem. He entered the edges of camp and took note of the lack of noise level. 'Everyone must be in bed.' He figured. Sleep would elude him though. If not for the night, for hours at least. He sat down by the fire and jabbed a stick into the center. He pulled it back and realized it was the same stick she'd designed. His concern went to her foot. He'd seen it earlier before their act and knew it was heavily bruised yet. She would feel the aftermath of her small marathon in the morning. Standing up, he set the stick in the lion's cage along the bars. One of them woke up and looked at him.
"Take care of this for Washu, Tireen." The female flipped her ears as if understanding and fell asleep again. he went to their supply case and dragged out the cover to keep them warm. He tossed it over and secured the fabric before quietly going to his tent to try and rest.
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"Washu, get DOWN from there! We need to LEAVE!" Despite the impatient command, she stayed firmly rooted in her position. Not once did she open her eyes. Sighing in defeat, Cathy watched the ringmaster walk over.
"We can't wait any longer." He turned to look at his charge. "How'd she get UP there?"
"Who KNOWS?" Catherine sighed. "Of all the places, she had to pick THE most dangerous one."
"We could just have someone go PULL her down."
"That won't be easy." The two looked over at Trowa. His gaze was on the stone girl. "She's got a rope secured on her. Maybe she planned on staying there throughout the ride."
"HOW?" It's a five-hour trip! How would she survive without food or water?" Cathy asked. Trowa looked at her, but didn't answer.
"Well if she's strapped in, I'm going to go start the train."
"What happens if we go through a tunnel? Or over a BRIDGE? Who'll make sure she doesn't FALL?" Trowa put a hand on his sister's shoulder, quieting her. Without a word, he walked to the side of the train and jumped up. "Well, I have no other arguments." She stared shocked at Trowa's gallant behavior. "But he needs a rope or something to hold on." She went to one of the workers and the two left to hunt.
Throughout the commotion, she never wavered from her stance. She had been here since dusk in the same position. Before she began, she made sure her hair was secured in its normal tight braid. The speed was extreme and she didn't want to worry about distractions. As soon as the small thump sounded, she knew immediately who it was. He would prove a large distraction, something she didn't want. Since dusk she had known only peace, but since the sun had come up there had been nothing BUT distractions. Still, she made no move to open her eyes or speak. "You DO realize you're putting us behind schedule." It was more statement than question.
"Go away."
"I can't. Catherine wanted someone to make sure you were safe and I offered." THAT made her crack an eye.
"Why?" He didn't have an answer because he hardly knew himself. Her eye closed. "You'll fall off." She plainly stated. Her ears picked up sounds beside them.
"Trowa! Catch!" A rope was thrown at him suddenly. He nodded his thanks to his sister. Untangling the mass, he moved to fix himself to the train. "The train is leaving so hurry." Then she was out of sight. He tied the knot and heard the shrill whistle. Seconds later, the hulk lurched.
"Why are you here?" He REALLY wanted to know why she picked THIS spot. It was foolish.
"To meditate."
"NOW?" Why don't you go inside." He was confused.
Her eyes opened as she peeked at him. "One can't attain peace with distractions." She quoted. Her eyes closed again. "Besides, I've been like this since dawn." Trowa's eyes widened slightly. Sitting in lotus position since dawn and unmoving? Wufei would HAVE to respect THAT.
"You're not going to be able to WALK."
"Which is why I will stretch before I get off the roof. You won't fair any better." He crossed his legs casually and rested his hands in his lap.
"Why did you run away last night?"
"From the tent or the woods?"
"Both." She didn't answer. He decided to go for it. "I thought you were TIRED of being cold and mean." Her eyes popped open in surprise before it was shunted. She stared at him.
"You heard that?" Her soft voice would've been lost to the wind if he wasn't so close. "You weren't supposed to, it was for my friends."
"You consider LIONS your friends?"
She narrowed her eyes. "So far animals are the only beings trustworthy without an explanation."
"How do you know PEOPLE aren't trustworthy?"
Her jaw clenched. "I KNOW." She said, her voice dangerously low. He was unaffected by her anger, simply staring back at her.
"Have you even TRIED to get to know the people here?"
She sneered slightly. "Get to know MEN?" She bit out.
"What about Catherine?"
She was silent for a spell. "What about her?" Trowa felt indignation from the cool tone in her voice.
"She worries about you. Why won't you talk to HER?"
"I can take care of MYSELF." They lapsed into an uncomfortable silence. The crisp morning wind blew, yet Trowa was immune and Washu ignored it. The morning sun shown down, passing through clouds every once in a while. Trowa closed his eyes, unable to find SOME topic that would get the mute girl to talk to him. His mind blanked. He opened his eyes again and took in her face. her small, curved nose was upturned with pride. High cheekbones and delicate jaw line framed her oriental face. Her closed eyes were wide and slanted at both edges. Pink lips that were large for her face, yet equally full. Her hair was midnight black, same as her eyes. It lay flat against her head from the weight and length. In its normal tight braid, the large weave was tossed about by the wind in its attempts to free itself form part of the rope. Her hair and eyes were discussed by those around her; conversed about being her key attributes, even though her eyes were biting and cold.
Her eyes opened when she felt him stare at her. "What?" Her voice was emotionless, controlled. He gave a mental sigh. If she hadn't shown emotion around the animals, he would think her a lifeless dol. It was quickly becoming tiring, especially when she didn't CARE about those that cared back and he KNEW she was capable of showing emotions. His mind started hatching a plan. "Quit staring at me." She ordered evenly. Finally bound free, the tail end of her waist long braid wiggled loose from the rope, once held secure. It whipped in the wind near his face, giving him a key attribute to his plan. She sighed and slowly moved her hands from their stilled position to gain access to her wild mane. Trowa's hands dotted out before she was halfway there. "WHAT'RE-" In one swift movement, one hand grasped above the elastic band and the other pulled it free.
Its only shackles removed, Washu's hair quickly unraveled and blew in every direction around her body. Her voice rang out, alarmed at the sudden drama that enveloped her. her hands shot up to her scalp in attempt to stop the problem at the source. Trowa watched the surprise and panic run ramped across her face. his hands returned to his lap, one holding the band tightly to keep from being forever lost. Anger sparked through her in her vain attempts to contain her matting hair. Focusing on the culprit in front of her through her hair, she narrowed her eyes. "What did you do THAT FOR?!" She screeched outraged. He didn't answer, unable to find cause for his strange impulsive actions. What WAS wrong with him? There'd be NO way she'd salvage the mess until the train stopped, whenever THAT was. A corner of his mind applauded his actions for bringing SOME-thing from her, even if it WAS anger. His eyes took on an amused tone as he surveyed her hair in every direction around her head, a smile tilted the corners of his mouth. She noticed. "You think this is FUNNY?!"
She bit back the command for help, not WANTING it. Her hands cupped her skull and descended as she moved to grasp the midnight locks. She got all but a few uncooperative strands, which twitched around. "Give me the rubberband." She ordered angrily. He handed it over, unsure of what she would do. Snatching it from his grip, she deposited it on her wrist and grasped the rope. She was thankful when she figured it easier to wrap the rope around her waist and not including her ankles. Pulling at a few pieces to loosen them, she deposited her palms on the metal and turned herself toward the wind. Closing her eyes to keep them safe, she was thankful when all her hair went ONE way. Knowing the ratted, blowing mess wouldn't go back to its former shape, she was unsure of what to put it in. a NORMAL ponytail was rather pointless at these high winds, a type of bun seemed her only ally. Her lip was nibbled on as she figured the BEST and EASIEST one to put it in. the velocity would prove more trouble than it was worth so wrapping it up would prove pointless. A half bun/ponytail was her only option. Grasping the unbehaving black, she straightened it with her hands as much as possible, nearly crying at the hideous mess she felt. Tying the ponytail a few times, she looped the hair and stopped halfway, leaving it. The task finished, she kept her back to him, mostly to keep the wind to her face and to coincidentally IGNORE him.
By the time the train stopped for fuel and a rest, she had conjured up nearly a dozen ways that the poor girl had 'suffered', walked from one end of the train and back, and snapped at three people when they asked her what was wrong. As soon as it pulled through a clearing and stopped at the edge of town, she nearly bolted outside. She was relieved her stubborn charge was still ALIVE, but a few things were different. She was facing a different way, her hair was a MESS, and Trowa looked EXTREMELY bored and uncomfortable. She walked to the ladder and shimmied up to get answers. She caught Trowa's eyes and KNEW something had happened. "You ok Washu?" We're taking a break to check on a few things. Do you need anything?"
Her back to the speaker, she silently untied the knot and unwound the rope. Standing up, she looped the rope quickly and shouldered it. She finally turned toward the two and Cathy saw all out rage directed toward Trowa. She looked at his sideways face as he looked at Washu, his eyes slightly apologetic. She turned to Cathy, all emotion wiped out. "To go wherever HE'S NOT." Cathy nearly shivered at the ice in her voice. Walking to the edge, she pushed off the top of the train and landed gracefully below. Turning, she walked to the cargo for her brush.
She turned to Trowa and found him absently staring at nothing. "Why is she so mad at you? What HAPPENED?" He snapped from his gaze and went to untie the rope, having no other purpose for it. "Well?" She was growing impatient.
"I took out her hair tie." Catherine looked at him strangely.
"WHY?" He looked at her and shrugged. He stood up and stretched.
"I wanted her to show some emotion." She blinked, eyes widening in confusion.
"So...you PURPOSELY messed up her HAIR? Why did you do THAT?" He shrugged. Walking to the edge of the train, he jumped off the same as Washu. Turning, he looked up and waited for Cathy to land. She shook her head and jumped as well. "Did you at least APOLOGIZE to her?" Trowa looked away. He methodically rewound the rope and shouldered it.
"She had her back to me the entire time."
"I wonder WHY." She reached out and grabbed his hand, heading the way Washu went. "You are going to apologize BEFORE the train leaves mister." After following directions from the others, the two found her still in the cargo area, trying to brush the end of her hair to its natural state. Her back stiffened when they approached.
"He'd better not be WITH you." She menacingly warned. Trowa looked at the floor. Cathy dragged him a few foot closer. "I have NOTHING to say to him."
She sighed. "Washu, Trowa is here to apologize, as LEAST let him do THAT."
"What he did was pointless and stupid. It was be the same if he apologized." Cathy opened her mouth, but Trowa put a hand on her shoulder. She looked into his eyes silently then turned to leave.
"YOU try. Lord knows I did. You'd THINK that..." She trailed off, venting her frustrations, hands flailing as she got farther away. Trowa looked at her vocal exit and back to his reason for being here. For SOME peculiar reason, he didn't know what to SAY.
"She's gone. You can SAY you apologized and leave. I don't NEED your apology." He blinked at the emotionless tone of voice. turning to the door, he grasped the handle, shut the door, and locked it. She whirled around at the click. A whistle sounded, shouting fair warning to board. "What're you DOING? I SAID...LEAVE." She turned around and slowly combed her hair. She had just HANDED him an easy out, but he just locked the two in. Not that THEY couldn't get OUT, but keys would be needed if someone wanted IN.
"I'm not leaving." He stated slowly. She stopped and looked at her brush. His footsteps sounded behind her. her stomach muscles clenched when she felt his nearby presence. Knowing she wouldn't look at him, he walked to her side and kneeled. Her eyes fixated on her brush, but widened slightly from unexpectedness. A hand clasped her chin and black eyes came into contact with green eyes. Her eyes widened more at his closeness and unexpected action. She couldn't jerk her head back, her strength was less than his. Her eyes fixated on his own, suddenly mesmerized by the emerald green color. He knew it was now or never. "I AM sorry. I apologize for what I did. It was stupid and I honestly don't know WHY I did what I did." Finished he was glad she hadn't snapped back, but her eyes seemed thoughtful. "What can I do to make it up to you?" She blinked and he saw ice float from her demeanor.
Her mind was confused and trying to make SENSE of it all. He just...APOLOGIZED to her? WHY? Didn't she say he didn't NEED to? Yet he did it ANYWAY. Although she nearly ORDERED him to NOT right the wrongs he committed, part of her wished he WOULD. He seemed caring through his silent an emotionless mask. Almost...like her. Her eyes dropped to his sleeve, ANYTHING would've been better than to look into those contrite eyes. He had taken a HUGE step and she had to admit that she didn't WANT to tell him he couldn't fix his undoing. It must have been his close presence, but she didn't WANT him to leave. The tiniest bit of loneliness clutched her heart and magnitude itself in the silence. She kept from biting her lip in unease. She looked back into his eyes and grabbed the hand clutching her chin, pulling it down. Trowa was slightly stunned that she WILLINGLY touched him. A small corner of his mind registered the growing guilt when she didn't answer. A weight filled his palm. His eyes moved from her face to his hand. He held her brush, grasped instinctually when she first placed it in his palm.
"You can right the wrongs you've committed." She softly said, swinging her face away. Relief flooded through him, for some reason unknown to him. Why should HE care if she accepted his apology or not? Ever since he'd KNOWN her, she'd been cold or ignored him. but...he felt his conscience the reason behind his determination. He kneeled behind her and gathered the end of her hair with one hand, slowly beginning his task. His conscience was nearly unknown to him. it was virtually nonexistent during the war, why would his 'NORMAL' life create the change? His eyes narrowed thoughtfully as he slightly bent his head toward his work. HOW had it snuck up on him? When did it happen? WHY had his emotions peeked themselves through? He knew it wasn't all at once, but little by little. He raised his eyes to the back of her head briefly before lowering again. when had he EVER felt the determined NEED or WANT to apologize? He never regretted ANYTHING HE'D DONE. Killing all those soldiers was apart of war, even the dead knew that when they were alive. When he drifted in space after dealing with Quatre's 'episode', he just went with whatever happened to him. the most current event was baffling. Why should the person in front of him make him feel again? It could be any number of things. The fact that SHE seemed unfeeling. That she was so untrusting of humans made him want to change her mind. The haunted past he had glimpsed drew out a small protective side he didn't know he HAD. It could be all, some, or none of those reasons. All he knew was, he was confused beyond belief, but he felt ALIVE.
He was going slow and methodically, and it was putting her to SLEEP. Her eyes had drifted shut long ago, now she was fighting to keep her head upright and her shoulders square. He was inches from the crown of her head and the feel was luxurious. His hands were soft and if he his a snag he diligently worked it loose. His skin brushed over her ears and scalp as he worked his way to the end. Her shoulders lost the battle and drooped comfortably, hands listless in her lap. at one point, the slow way the brush ran across her head tickled and she shivered involuntarily. She just hoped he didn't notice.
He ran the brush the entire length of her hair, almost amazed at how shiny it was for pure black. Noting how smoothly the brush glided, he knew he was finished. Running through one final time, he moved his hand from underneath the mane and tapped her shoulder with the brush. She slowly took it and ran a hand through her hair, taking note of how well a job he did. She went for her bag and stuffed it in, feeling tired. She didn't ant him to stop, she had to admit it. The motions felt so comforting. She hadn't had anybody brush her hair since... She closed her eyes, struggling to keep her shoulders straight. It would do NO good to think of her NOW. She stood and turned to Trowa. She nodded slightly, but felt that wasn't enough. "Thank you." She softly answered.
He was SURPRISED to say the LEAST. She had no obligation to thank him, yet she willingly did so. He noted the sad look in her eyes. "It was the LEAST I could do." A hand came up and rested on her shoulder, much to his mental astonishment. Why was he TOUCHING her?
She slowly looked at his hand, feeling in no mood to yell. Why did she allow him to touch her? One brushing could not have changed her THAT much, had it? She knew it was the meaning BEHIND what occurred that made her tired of being mean. As much as she DIDN'T want to think about her mother, most of her daily activities reminded her of her memory in some way. Even the way Catherine kept watch and worried over her reminded her of how much her mother took care of her. Sadness peeked in at the corners of her lips and eyes. The way she pampered her, kissed her goodnight as she tucked her in, gave her lessons in cooking... Her eyes misted. She blinked, trying to ward off the dark feelings and stay neutral. She looked up into his eyes, trying to wipe away anything that may betray her. But her mind played memories as if a movie reel, reliving the few joyful days BEFORE the war, when she was truly HAPPY. Tears shone greater.
"Are you ok?" He broke the silence, worried as emotion peeked through her stone wall. Maybe his plan HAD worked after all. But he hadn't counted on the intense rage she held behind her eyes. He didn't realize she COULD feel that strongly. It almost seemed to overwhelm her.
She almost forgot he spoke. She tried to pull herself from the tempting past to the painful present. "I will be. Leave me." She softly commanded. He was doubtful, but her eyes no longer sparkled and he knew she was forcing her emotions away. He let go of her shoulder and walked to the door. Unlatching it, the wind blew in when he opened it. He paused. He KNEW she wasn't ok, even SHE hadn't admitted it. She hadn't yelled either, she was almost KIND. It was a nice change, one he could get used to.
"You SURE?" He prodded softly. He wanted her to be anything BUT cold and uncaring. He wasn't all too sure WHY, but he'd seen too much hate. Maybe he wanted a change around him. plus, it would take some stress off Cathy's shoulders. The wind tugged at her hair, separating strands in the wind but not getting messed up entirely. He was taken aback at the sheer volume she owned. That simple braid hid everything. She looked at the floor and lightly crossed her arms, uncomfortable at showing weakness. She presented her back, not wanting to say anything and let her vice give away her true emotions. He mentally sighed and bowed his head. She'd shut the door just when he'd gotten his foot through, or so he thought. Looking through the window at the other car, he stepped across the threshold and quietly shut the cargo door behind him.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
She felt the isolation as the train roared to its next destination. The wheels clacked under her as she stood in silence. Walking back to her bag, she fell to her knees and rested on her haunches. Hands useless, they stayed in her lap. she bounced as the train moved, the only motion to her still form. Slowly, her hands moved to her duffle, rummaging through it. She withdrew when her treasure was caught. A youthful face looked up at her, smiling carefree. A much older version of herself also beamed happily. Her hand came up and ran over those loving dark eyes, so like her own. Her jaw clenched as she finally realized the third occupant of the photo. Hatred and spite speared her.
"It's all YOUR fault." She whispered. In one quick motion, she took out the picture and held it, ready to tear his once pleasant face from her memory. She stopped, hands poised to rip. She couldn't do it. Although she hated him the longer she lived, this one photo was all she HAD of him. the only reminder of the man her father USED to be. Defeated, she slowly replaced it where it belonged and stared at it. "I love you mother. Watch over me." Tears brimmed again and she put the family photo away, unable to bear looking at it. Grabbing her brush, she ran it through again to fix what the wind recently destroyed. Putting that back, she separated her hair and decided to French braid it instead of the normal three stranded shape she wore. Besides, the new way took longer and she needed to keep busy SOMEHOW. She wasn't strong enough to be around anyone else so she could stall till she collected and locked away her emotions.
The train still hadn't stopped when she was finished, but her stomach protested her introvert behavior. Tying the band around her work, she could no longer ignore others. Standing slowly, she walked to the door and paused. She mentally checked to make sure she could handle what went on past cargo. Steeling herself, she pulled the sliding door from her way. She walked to the dining car and stopped. There were over half a dozen people inside, Cathy and Trowa not included. She guessed it to be nearly lunch by the way the sun shone through the windows. She prayed her stomach wouldn't growl and embarrass her in front of everybody. She had hoped the place was deserted.
Cathy turned and saw Washu in the doorway, eyes slightly alarmed. She smiled softly and walked over. "Hungry?" Midnight swung to her, carefully shielded from anything. "Cook finished a little while ago. I was about to go back and get you." Washu looked back at the food, feeling other eyes on her. she knew who they belong to. She felt uncomfortable now that SOMEONE had glimpsed her real self. It made it harder to keep the mask up.
'It was better when he DIDN'T know.' She walked up to the line and grabbed a plate, eager to busy her hands. Cathy raised an eyebrow at the strange girl. Something had happened to her, but she couldn't put her finger on it. She turned to Trowa when he stopped by her.
"Does she seem different to you?" She whispered, head leaned over to keep inconspicuous. He looked at Washu's back and noticed she braided her hair differently. He couldn't tell Cathy about her little emotional slip, it wasn't his place.
"No." She furrowed her eyebrows at the pause. She gave him a scrutinizing gaze, confused at HIS actions. HE seemed different as well. She looked at Washu, then back at her brother. She fought the smile. Something was going on between the two, small and invisible to them, yet it was creeping up on them. No wonder they were both acting peculiar. "Why?" She turned away from him, a sisterly smile lighting her face.
"Nothing." She led the way to a table and sat in front of him, still smiling. He looked at her strangely but kept silent, unsure if he WANTED to know what she was thinking. He decided to let it go.
