CHAPTER 5
It was a pretty good imitation of a sunrise. Had she been awake, she might've appreciated it. But she slept on, no cold to bother her. No fire to stir, it wasn't allowed or necessary for her. So she slept on, a peaceful dreamless slumber. It was one of the few she was allowed since she ran away from home. A dreamless sleep was heaven for her, a near privilege. One reason she was up so early in the morning, she didn't want to face what her subconscious would deal out to her.
The companions she held also helped to ward off evil dreams. She cuddled closer to their slumbering form, not budging them from their own sleep. Her face buried next to their side, her small body positioned in the center of the two. Her clothes were rumpled from movement during her sleep.
The light played across her face, what was able to seep down in between her companions anyway. The computer shifted the red and oranges to a higher status, taking some of the blue and makeshift stars out. No crisp air was around her, something she would miss if she was up to feel it. Breathy steam was absent today.
He couldn't help but smile softly. He wished to get to know this enigma better so that he too could help her. He had tried numerous attempts to be near her and wear her down, hoping she eventually would show him her true self. The flight to the colony seemed to help, she seemed more like her real self, more open. She was eager to learn and picked up most of his instructions quickly. Had Cathy not interrupted them, she might've talked to him more than asking questions on how to perform an individual task he explained. He was so CLOSE. But there was time.
Quietly, he situated his arms around him for better comfort. His ears picked up some rustling from his clothing on the metal, but he didn't see any of the lion's ears twitch. He hadn't disturbed either of them, a good thing. He wondered if Washu was part cat with the hearing she had. It seemed almost as good as his and his fellow Gundam pilots; save for Duo maybe. He continued to look down on the trio, watching the sun rise over their bodies, splashing colors to their figures. It was so serene. A few birds squawked as they woke up and a few flew off, but the rest was silence. The wind generator blew every once in a while, but it only ruffled the lion's coats and his bangs slightly. Feeling impish, he slowly swung his feet back and forth in a slow rhythm from their place in the air in front of the cage. His face turned sideways over his arms as he continued to stare.
What was going on with him? He pursed his lips at a corner of his mouth. What was this silent girl doing to him? He had never felt like this before. He had never experienced this urge just to watch somebody sleep and wait for them to wake up, just so he could talk to them. It was a strange, but pleasant feeling. He smiled slightly. He could honestly admit he didn't truly mind though. She looked so peaceful when she was asleep. Like a small child to be kept from harm. Maybe that's why he kept his vigil on top of the lion's cage, the need to keep her from anymore harm. His gaze softened. Her hand moved slowly as she stirred minutely in her sleep, its position hardly moving from next to her mouth where both rested limply. His smile widened a little more.
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The sunrise woke up more occupants in the area. One walked out onto his balcony and marveled at the creative genius that produced the sunrises every morning. His eyes softened as he watched. On impulse, his body bent over the marble railing and his elbow held up his head as he watched the animated sun rise. He looked at the grass and trees, the animals around the lawn and the rest of the expanse that made up his backyard. He always thanked Allah every day for being able to see such wonders. He had always thanked him at least once a day that the war was over and peace had come. He was also grateful that he was reunited with his best friend again, even for a short time. Well, he would just make sure to make the best of it. He stood up and walked back to his room to get ready for the morning.
Tying the strings to his robe, he stepped from the bathroom. The towel in his hands rubbed over his head to dry his hair as he walked. He draped it over his shoulder as he fumbled through his dresser for his normal attire.
He hung up everything back in the bathroom to be cleaned later after quickly getting dressed. Stopping in the center of his room, a slight breeze blew in. He walked back to the balcony to see how high the sun was now. The wind generator kept the pace as his drying hair blew in the draft. His eyes roamed through the area above the trees. He spotted the large masses of cages that dotted a clearing. He was told the animals were put there for safekeeping and he intended on checking them out before they performed. He loved animals, they were such beautiful creatures. He couldn't wait to see what they were capable of doing in the show.
Turning away for a second time, he walked back to his room and shut the doors behind him this time. Turning, he went to the main door to his room and left it. Silence greeted him in the early morning. But he was up on the third floor and most of the circus crew was on the first for easier access to the main door and their things. It also made hauling easier when they left. He took the stairs down to the ground to go grab a cup of tea and something light for breakfast. He found the cook amongst a pile of food, and still going. He smiled and leaned against the doorway. "Is all this food going to be enough just to feed our visitors?" He asked playfully. The chef turned startled to the voice and smiled back when he saw Quatre.
"I hope so Master Quatre." He said cheerfully. Quatre shook his head as the chef looked back at the most recent concoction he was stirring. He'd told all the servant AND the Maganacs to take the Master title off his name but they would have none of it. The only person who did abide by his wish was Divinity and THAT took some prodding. Her face floated through his mind and he smiled. Taking a step into the kitchen, he went to the cupboards and pulled out a glass. "No Master Quatre, let me do that for you." The chef put down the bowl and went to help, but Quatre held a hand out to stop him.
"I've got it, you go ahead and get your stuff done." Quatre said. He looked at the large groups that surrounded the table. "You look like you have your hands full as it is." He eyed some tempting pastries and made a note to snatch one before they were gone from the kitchen.
"If you insist Master Quatre." He said hesitantly.
"It's just Quatre, and yes I do." He said smiling. Turning on his heel, he left the chef to his work and entered the large expanse that the kitchen staff called the pantry. After some rummaging around, he finally spotted the tea he sought and left the mass amounts of food.
He set the full cup on the table, allowing the bag to dissipate its contents. He eyed the back of the chef's head and then the pastries he saw earlier. Silently, he crept up to the table that they sat on, feeling playful. His hand hovered over them, ready to take one. "You may have more than one if you want Master." He jerked suddenly from the voice and blushed slightly. Blue eyes turned to the back of the chef's head again, but he wasn't even looking at him. His eyes narrowed through a smile, wondering how the elderly man knew what he was going for.
"Thank you." He said. His hand dipped down and successfully grabbed two, wrapping them in a napkin to keep warm. He greedily inhaled the aroma that wafted to his nose. He smiled and then turned to his tea. He sat at the table, knowing he wouldn't be able carry everything without the possibility of dropping something. After he finished the tea and nearly half the pastry, he set the glass in the sink and opened the double French doors. The wind generator had stopped for a while, allowing stillness to accumulate in the area. Facing the morning, he walked outside and shut both doors behind him.
He knew where he was heading. Each step took him closer to the animals he wanted to see. He nibbled on the baked good as he went, his stomach quickly getting filled up. His taste buds were going crazy from the morning snack. He passed a grove of trees before he was able to see a few bars from a cage. When he entered the clearing fully, he stopped and looked around. A lot of the animals were still asleep, some snoring peacefully. Movement atop one of the cages caught his eye and he slowly walked over. His vision picked up a human, though the face wasn't visible. He walked close enough to the lion cage and circled around to see the face. He nearly choked on his food when he saw Trowa looking down into the cage. "Trowa?" He asked surprised. The young man's eyes jerked to him, surprised to see him out here. A finger went to his lips.
"Shhh. Don't wake her up." He whispered. The finger pointed to the contents inside. Quatre's brow furrowed confused and he looked. The lions slept on, oblivious he was even around. Silently, he crept up and looked in between the space they left open. His eyes nearly bugged out of his sockets. Washu was peacefully sleeping in between the two lions, not caring her life might've been in danger. His eyes quickly met Trowa's again. He noted the soft expression over his features and the direction it went to. The corners of his mouth twitched.
"Trowa?" He whispered as quietly as he could. He kept half an eye on the lion's ears, if they woke up they would move and Washu would be up. The elevated man looked to his friend in question. "What're you doing?"
His place above her didn't move. "Waiting for her to wake up." He quietly explained. Quatre looked at him with a lost expression on his face. He remembered the pastry in his hand and held it up to his friend.
"I brought you something if you're hungry." Trowa nodded and quietly repositioned himself to jump down. He landed silently on the dewy grass in front of Quatre. He smiled softly and took the food, taking a small bite. He nodded his thanks and chewed contently. Quatre looked at Washu and then turned to walk from the cage. Trowa followed slowly, walking in step with his friend. "Why are you out here so early Trowa?" Quatre softly asked.
"I already told you." He said monotone. Quatre smiled slightly. He took another bite of his own breakfast and finished it. He wiped his hands with the napkin he possessed and stuck it in a pocket to keep the grounds clean.
"That's not what it looked like to me Trowa. It looked like you were watching her sleep." He commented, nearly poking fun. He peeked at his friend to see if he would give away any emotions proving him right but he was a mask as always. "Anything I should know?" He teased lightly.
Trowa shook his head. "I'm not too sure myself. I just came out here to talk to her because she's normally up around this time. But she was asleep. I got this urge to wait for her and I ended up watching her." His eyes narrowed in speculation as he talked. "Not too sure why." He mumbled thoughtfully. "It's almost weird." The two walked around the cages and Quatre looked at the sleeping animals. They stopped in front of the horses, both looking at them but not at each other.
"Sounds like you like her Trowa." Quatre surmised. He watched the body of the large beast raise while it breathed. Trowa looked at his friend perplexed.
"How can I like her? She hardly talks to me and when I first met her she was downright rude to me." He looked over at the horse. Quatre looked at his friend.
"I don't know how, but it looks like you do. Remember you hardly speak either. You've just recently opened up with the war being over." He turned and continued the walk, Trowa tailing behind. "Things have changed." He mumbled. Though his mind was recognizing his own tiny crush on Divinity, not just Trowa's on Washu. It probably wasn't an actual crush, Trowa was too above that, more like an attraction.
'That could be it.' He figured. 'There're traits that they can relate to and that's why he likes her. He can relate to her because of those things.'
"Maybe you're more attracted to her than liking her." He said, saying what was on his mind. Trowa looked ahead as he listened to his friend's analysis. "You both are extremely quiet." He paused, unable to name off any of her traits since he didn't know her. "What else can you identify with?" He asked.
Trowa's lips pursed slightly as he wracked his brain. The two hit the clearing and set on a wide circular path to the house, their pace casual. It was early and they both had breakfast, this was their time to get caught up on what each missed from the past few months. "Well she's very generous." He related a two-cent version of the time she gave Catherine the armload of flowers. "I couldn't believe it when I saw all of them situated inside her tent. It blew me away that she was capable of something that heartfelt." He smiled slightly. "Cathy utterly adored them. Washu also comes off as such an icy person." He smirked and told of their first meeting. "Her foot was bruised for days afterwards."
Quatre grimaced. She was tough, she would be able to give Wufei a run for his money. Quatre smiled slightly. "You remember last night when I told you it was useless to go after her because I already tried?" Quatre nodded and kept silent, letting his friend talk. "Cathy threw me a surprise welcome back party and a few of the workers weren't completely sober. They bugged Washu and although I didn't hear what they said, she seemed okay until they started to pick a fight with each other. She left in a real hurry. Cathy made me go after her." He smiled slightly. "At the time, I didn't want to get involved with her since she was so cold to me. Why bother? But I found her out by the lion's cage, inside. She talked about a mysterious past she has that she won't tell anyone about. It seems horrific because she seems burdened down by it. Cathy suspects that that's why Washu's so silent towards the men in camp. She must hold some sort of grudge towards them."
Quatre thoughtfully rubbed his chin. "So I was right then. Something DID happen to her." He muttered. Trowa looked at his friend.
"I'm assuming so, from what I heard. I'm not too sure how you know that though." He looked at his friend questionably. Quatre shook his head.
"I don't know. I looked into her eyes and saw pain. She hasn't had an easy life. But she doesn't SEEM like the indifferent type." He countered. He shook his head. "I'm betting that's a front to keep people away."
"You're right." He nodded. "I heard her talking that night about how ashamed her parents must've been because of the way she was acting. I also assume she's a good person inside, but something is preventing her from being that person." Their walk took them to the mansion and the two decided to take up the subject on a later basis if need be. Trowa felt his connection to Quatre strengthen even more from the heart to heart. He hadn't told his troubles to anyone in a long time, but it felt good to get any burdens off his chest. Now he was left with the ones dealing with Washu and he didn't have an answer for those.
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The show was spectacular. He applauded and laughed at everything. Just before the crowd dissipated, he left his seat to go and congratulate Trowa and Catherine on a grand performance. Winding his way through some people, he found the back entrance to the main tent. He had left and circled around, figuring that to be the best way to go about it. A soft roar gained his attention and deterred him from his path. Curious, he walked toward the source and found the raven haired girl walking side by side with a small group of lions from the show. All were unchained, their leashes and a whip in her hand. He stood there baffled. Wasn't she worried in the least about getting mauled? Or of any passerby seeing her? He shook his head. She was a smart girl, he knew that much. She wouldn't be so careless as to let someone see her.
"Shhh." Her lips pursed behind her finger. "Tireen, you're going to get me in trouble." She said in a hushed voice. The female stopped and sniffed the air. Washu stopped as well, brow furrowed. "What is it girl?" Her hand fingered their leashes, ready to snap them back on if someone came waltzing by. The youngest lion turned its head and she looked on. Soft footsteps sounded, slowly approaching. "Who's there?" She asked warily. Her fingers had already attached one leash, going for another.
Quatre poked his head out from his hiding place. He didn't want to spy, but he was enthralled with the way she handled the animals. "I'm sorry." He softly apologized. All leashes were applied to their collars and the lions eyed him cautiously. They felt uneasy emotions from their human friend and stood around her to protect her.
"Stay back, these lions are dangerous." She warned. She tugged on the leash lightly and Tireen roared softly. Quatre slowly edged his way forward till he was almost a hand width away.
"Such a majestic creature." He softly appraised. "How can they be dangerous?" Slowly, his hand rose and held out for the animal to smell. He knew this was the only way for the lions to tell whether he was friend or foe. The youngest took the initiative and smelled the edge of his fingers. Finding nothing threatening from the strange man, he nuzzled his nose underneath. Quatre smiled and softly scratched his nose. The other lions smelled his clothes and moved closer to him when they found nothing menacing about him.
Washu was slightly surprised at how easily the lions had taken to him. He was totally at ease and not the least bit scared. She had only warned him to keep him away from her, but he didn't pay any attention. He kneeled and one lion licked his face. He smiled and chuckled. She looked at him mystified.
Quatre looked up when he felt eyes other than those of his new feline friends. Washu's black eyes hit his blue ones and he marveled at the color she possessed. No iris or pupil, it all blended together. Only light could tell the difference when shone on. He blinked, breaking the moment. "They aren't all that dangerous." He commented.
She broke out of her stupor from staring at the color of his eyes. They were such an interesting blue that she couldn't help but stare. It was like the sky on a cloudless day, one of those deep blues from the early morning or mid afternoon. They reminded her of Earth. "They can tell who's dangerous and who's not. I didn't want to take a chance is all." She commented evenly. Her walls were up, but they were shaky. They had been down as soon as she directed the lions out of the tent to their cage. But as soon as Tireen noticed something around them, she put the wall back up. What was it about this friendly man that changed her?
"Well they trust YOU don't they? I know you're not dangerous." He stood up and dusted his pants briefly. He looked back into her eyes. "You're not dangerous." He concluded softly, almost to himself. She blinked slowly, not understanding the sudden comment. Quatre looked down at the lions. "Why don't you get these guys put away before you get in trouble?" He looked at Washu again. "I can help you if you want." She bristled.
"I don't need ANYONE'S help." She said evenly. She let the leashes slacken and the lions took the advantage to move. She walked past Quatre to their cage, leaving the Arab confused at her change in personality. He would have to ask Trowa about it later. He looked at the tent and remembered his original reason for leaving his seat. His eyes strayed to where Washu walked off to and he slowly ambled in that direction. He wanted to get to the bottom of her sudden mood swings.
She put the padlock through the metal spaces and clicked it shut. "Good show guys." She said softly. She smiled to the two lions and they tossed their manes in response. She smiled. "I liked that jump you did Tireen. You almost hit the trainer." She smirked. "I thought that was funny." The female purred and gave Washu a cat smile.
"Do they understand you?" She jumped and whirled around. There stood the blond man a few foot from her. His head tilted to one side, hands casually resting in his pockets. She leaned against the cage to deal with the adrenaline that surged through her body. Quatre stepped forward. "The lions, do they understand you?" She stared at him and kept silent. "I didn't mean to scare you." He apologized. She looked around the tent to avoid his eyes, but felt them on her still. "Have I offended you somewhere since we met?" He asked. He really DID want to know what he did wrong so he could correct it and get to know this silent stone wall. Though, when he looked at her he didn't see that. He saw a poorly hidden pain.
Washu looked at him, hearing the sincerity in his voice. She noted the chagrin in his eyes and felt like kicking herself for some odd reason. This stranger who she just met last night was worried about offending her? Strange. She took a deep breath and hardened her resolve. "No." She said evenly. He locked eyes with hers. "You didn't offend me." She walked past him to the opening in the tent, ending the conversation.
Quatre quickly grabbed her arm, not wanting her to leave. Her face whirled to his, slightly glaring at him for touching her. "Then what did I do WRONG? Please tell me. I don't know why you're mad at me when you clearly have no need to be." She clenched her jaw and jerked her arm away coldly.
"Don't touch me again." She backed away a step. "I don't need to tell you anything. I would advise you to get out of the tent before someone sees you." She said and walked out. Quatre looked at her exit, feeling confused. She apparently didn't know who he was since she figured him a trespasser. She was a strange girl, friendly to animals yet cold to people. He would have to ask Trowa and Catherine since they seemed to know her the best.
Once he left the tent, he noticed the loads of people that milled around. The show was finally finished. He headed for the back entrance and walked around the backstage area. He spotted Catherine, but no Trowa. "Hey Catherine." He called. She turned and waved to Quatre with a smile.
"Did you like the show Quatre?" She asked. He nodded with a smile.
"Very much so. You should've come to space much sooner. I could've used the break." She grinned and put her costume in the trunk. "Do you know where Trowa is? I need to ask him something." She shook her head and stood up.
"As soon as he changed to normal clothes, he walked out the back entrance."
"When was this?" He asked. Cathy fingered her chin.
"Just a few minutes ago I think. I wasn't keeping track." She smiled sheepishly. Quatre nodded.
"Well if he comes back here before I see him, can you let him know I was looking for him?" He asked. She nodded and he left the way he came. His walk slow, blue eyes darted around his surroundings to find the tall lanky man. He had circled the entire main tent, coming up empty-handed. He rested both hands in his pockets and leaned against a stout pole.
'Where are you Trowa?' He wondered, looking around.
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He knew she'd be in here. He had wanted to talk to her all day. During the knife act, questions of what he was going to ask her were going through his head. It almost interfered with his act. As soon as he spotted the raven patch of hair, his mind blanked. What was he going to say to her again? The only thing he wanted to bring up was her disappearance last night. But details eluded him. Quietly, he walked into the tent with some of the animals she was tending to. He kept an eye on her to see if she knew he was nearby. Her soft voice floated into the silence as she tended to her duties. He stopped by a cage to listen curiously.
"You guys did a good show." She commented. The horse tossed his head in appreciation. She smiled. "I mean it. You were on the ball with those turns." His muzzle pushed into her chest, stopping her complements. She chuckled and ran her fingers through the short coat. After dumping the food in their trough, she set the empty bucket aside the other tools and grabbed a brush. After strapping it to her hand, she walked back to the horse and ran it across his body. She did the same for the other two horses, a comfortable silence surrounding them, save for the sound of the brush as it was put to use.
After finishing that, she turned to their elephant for his care. She took a few trips for his food since he ate so much. "Did you like the show Zimba?" She asked, looking into his eyes. He softly trumpeted his answer and she smiled. "Yea I thought you looked like you were enjoying yourself out there." She smiled widely. "I'm glad you didn't give the trainer any problems like you did in a few shows we had on Earth." She reigned in a giggle. "Though that WAS kind of funny." The elephant tossed his head sideways as if agreeing with her. After dumping the rest of his food, she walked to a bucket with fresh water and a sponge. "Sit down Zimba so I can get you cleaned up." The elephant complied and she opened the cage while he sat down. His trunk stuck in the bucket and she pulled it back with a soft laugh. "Hey you, this's not for DRINKING, it's for BATHING." She juggled the sponge and petted his head. "I'll get you something to drink after we finish, agreed?" He snorted softly and she dunked the sponge in the water.
Trowa watched her carefree manner and felt something in his heart melt. She handled every animal as if it were a human being. He watched her face the entire time and saw how relaxed it was. Her walls were non-existent. It warmed his heart minutely to know that she was capable of being lighthearted. It proved to him that she wasn't the block of ice she passed herself to be. 'Then why be it in the first place?' His mind reminded him of all Quatre had said and what Washu had hinted at with her past. It all revolved around that and if he could get her to slip and uncover something, it might help her be more like she is now. His ears tingled slightly at hearing her laugh when the elephant shook its wet ears, getting splotches of water on her clothes. He had never heard her laugh before today. 'She has a nice laugh.' He thought. It brought a smile to his face.
"Hey you, this's NOT for ME to use!" She admonished through laughter. Zimba lightly trumpeted his laughter to her appearance. Half her jeans and shirt were darkened from being wetted down. The top of her head was dripping. She smirked at him. "You're terrible." She said, playfully socking his trunk. Looking around his body to make sure she hadn't missed anything, she grabbed the pail and found very little water in it. "All done I guess." She announced. Leaving the sponge on the ground, her other hand cupped the bottom of the metal and she slung the rest over Zimba. The elephant stood up and its skin twitched as it rid itself of the excess. More splashed her. She laughed again. "Hey! Knock that off! At least WAIT till I can get OUT of range!" She giggled and backed out of the doorway. Quickly going to grab the sponge, she dropped it in the empty bucket and shut the cage door with a smile. Shaking her head, eyes on the ground, she walked to set her 'equipment' with everything else she used.
The moment she looked up, the smile on her face dropped. Her eyes widened and she immediately blushed. Her mouth gaped open slightly. Trowa was watching her with a small smile, leaning against the lion's cage. She froze in the center of the tent. "What're YOU doing in here?" She whispered. A normal voice couldn't be used; her throat had tightened the moment her eyes locked with his.
Seeing he was caught, he stepped away from the poor hiding spot. He was only able to use it because she hadn't turned his way. He stopped a few foot from her and casually rested both hands in his pockets. Questions eluded him. His gaze dropped to the straw they stood over. "Were you spying on me?" She asked. It took a lot to ask because her voice was hardly useable the closer he got. She looked up into his eyes. The blush wouldn't leave her face and she was thankful the lighting was poor inside.
His eyes looked at some of the animals, unable to look her in the eye. The silence was deafening and getting uncomfortable. "I wanted to talk to you about something." He softly muttered. He took note of the nervous tinge in his voice. Why was this hard to say?
'What's wrong with me?' He wondered. He finally looked into Washu's eyes. For the first time, he felt adrenaline course through his body.
This had never happened to him before. Throughout all the battles during the war, all the death defying stunts he had done in the circus, he was always calm. Why was talking to a girl so hard? He talked to Cathy all the time. But this wasn't Cathy; this was Washu. 'Quatre was right.' He thought. 'I AM attracted to her.' Maybe that was why he was getting nervous; this new emotion was something he had never dealt with before and he didn't know how to handle it. Everything he'd ever done before had involved him alone. This time another person was in the equation, someone he hardly knew.
Washu was getting increasingly uncomfortable the more time dragged out and Trowa was quiet. If he wanted to talk to her, what was TAKING him so long? Her eyes continued to stare into his own, unable to break the hold. She would've left him long ago, but she feared if she tried to walk her legs wouldn't carry her. They were weak and not much was keeping her upright except her resolve to be strong. The animals moved around as they settled in their cages and a few looked at the two, trying to figure out what they were doing. 'Forget this.' She thought. If all he was going to do was watch her, she wasn't going to let him when she was vulnerable. She hadn't constructed her walls, one reason she couldn't speak and why she was so embarrassed. She didn't want anyone to know she had talked to the animals because they would figure her a nutcase. And she didn't keep a front up when she was around animals because they trusted her without even judging her; they were more pure than humans could ever be.
The longer they stood there in silence, the better off she was. She felt comfortable enough to walk on solid legs now. "When you find your tongue, you can come and talk to me." She softly commented. Trowa blinked, brought out of his thoughts. She slowly walked around him for the exit.
In a flash, his hand whipped out and lightly clutched her sleeve; he knew how she felt about anyone touching her. He was just thankful she was wearing a baggy enough shirt. "Wait." He said softly. She clenched her jaw and bowed her head, trying to keep control. Adrenaline coursed through her body and she was astounded at the new emotion. This had only happened once to her before, but it was an entirely different thing. "Don't leave. I was just caught up in my thoughts."
'Why am I explaining myself to her?' He wondered. Her head moved up and she stared at the exit. Her weight shifted backwards and she turned to him, now at an arm's length.
"Then talk." She said evenly. Trowa looked at the ground for a second and then back at her face, praying for strength.
"Why did you run off last night?" He asked softly. Now it was her turn to look at the ground, but she kept her gaze on it.
"Because." She shifted her weight to her other foot.
"Because why?" He pondered. He knew it was going to be hard because she would have to reveal something from herself. But he wasn't going to let her off the hook for making Quatre feel uncomfortable.
She looked into his eyes, feeling the feelings from last night come rushing to the surface. Her eyes squinted as the pain coursed through her. She cried last night from the encounter. She had no clue how the blond man had known she hid a dark past and it disturbed her. She couldn't handle it and had cried against Tireen's mane throughout most of the night, reveling through old emotions.
Trowa was surprised at the pain that surfaced when she looked at him. He almost felt back for bringing it up, but he needed to know why she ran every time someone tried to ask her about her childhood. "What did Quatre say that made you run away last night? It had to do with your past, didn't it?" She didn't recognize the name and looked at him confused.
"Who?" She whispered. He blinked. She had never heard of Quatre Rebaba Winner? But then again, if she never left Earth, it was reasonable.
"Quatre. The man you spoke to last night. What did his question do to you?" She turned away, crossing her arms over her chest. She looked at the ground idly.
"Nothing I want to talk about." She evaded softly. It was heard loud and clear to Trowa, a signal for him to drop it. But he didn't want to. He wanted to get to the bottom of the problem she was enveloped in and figure her out. It was getting under his skin; SHE was getting under his skin. He also couldn't stand to see pain or sadness in her eyes. He wanted to see her happy like she was a while ago. He walked around her and slid a hand under her chin, slowly bringing her eyes to his. She didn't resist him. Her eyes shone with tears and some of the light reflected in her dark orbs. "Leave it be." She whispered, almost pleaded.
"I can't. You can't keep all this pain inside yourself." He felt the pain radiate from her eyes and where their skin connected. He slowly gravitated closer to her. "I know from experience that you can't deal with this on your own. You have to let it out, tell someone." He paused. "Why did you run last night?"
"I-" His small speech moved her. Her throat convulsed. He'd gone through something traumatic in his life? That wasn't right. He shouldn't have to feel this kind of pain, yet he had. Was that why he could see through her? He knew what she was going through?
'Is that why I feel like I can connect with him?' She wondered.
"Something happened not too long ago." She whispered, keeping it vague. She didn't know where to begin; there was so MUCH to explain.
'Where to start?' She thought. Back to when it all began, during the war? When the violence hit its peak and after the Gundams conquered Oz? When she killed her father to save her own life and then fled? A tear fell and slowly trailed down the side of her face.
"There's so much to tell... I don't know where to start..." She whispered miserably. His thumb slowly moved over her chin as if to draw out some of her pain. His other hand moved to her neck and lightly rested on it. His fingers slowly kneaded the muscles, trying to take some of the tenseness out of them.
"Start at the beginning." He whispered. "You can tell me. You can TRUST me." He added. He had to let her know that. He knew HE trusted HER somewhat. She was an honorable person. His finger moved from kneading her neck to her face and wiped away the tear track. He didn't want to see that on her.
"That is a long story." She murmured. She was caught in his caring green eyes as they delved into her own. His touch was creating a fire where it touched her skin. This was all new to her, but it was something she could quickly find herself enjoying.
'What's wrong with me?' She pondered. She hated men, didn't she? They were scum; the only person she could trust was Catherine. When had she stopped hating Trowa? That day on the train? The time in the shuttle? Trowa had proved himself different. He wasn't loudmouthed, he didn't tease her, he treated her with respect, and he was considerate to her feelings.
"It started so long ago during my childhood." She started. "My father was a recruit during the war..." Trowa's jaw clenched. Had she lost her father in the war? Had Heavyarms cut him down? Had one of the other Gundams done so? "I lived with my mother while he was gone... When the war was over he was out of a job... He became depressed..." Another tear fell from her eye. She couldn't believe she was talking about this. She had wanted to bury the past forever to keep from thinking about it. One reason she put up such a front so unlike her, to keep everybody out. It worked on all but one. Catherine. She was persistent and kept up the friendly assault, slowly winning her over. If she talked to it with anyone, she figured it would be with Cathy, not Trowa.
One of the animals moved around, feeling the unsettling emotions in the air. Trowa looked up at it and broke the spell he'd spun over Washu. Feeling cut off, she stepped from his embrace and quickly walked from the tent before she had to explain herself anymore. Once she was outside, she took off in a dead run in no particular direction. She just had to get away. She felt so ashamed of her past and her father, and what he'd brought to her household. The road she was on seemed extremely familiar and she realized they'd taken it this morning to get to the clearing. The road lead back to the mansion she was at. Turning up her speed, she quickly reached it and ran to the back. The garden saw only a glimpse of her as she darted through the path, swallowed up by the trees. She stopped at the one she was in last night and quickly jumped to the bottom limb. Clambering up a few branches, she reached into a large hole near the top and pulled her bag out. Going through it, she grabbed the picture and nearly threw the bag into its spot again.
Anger coursed through her like no other. She was just so frustrated that she felt she had to hide this from the people who she nearly considered friends. She'd never HAD friends before and she longed for them. Her fingers gripped the frame hard enough to break the protective glass. Infuriated tears flew down her face as she tightly clenched her jaw. "I HATE you! I HATE YOU!" She screamed. Her eyes were directed on only one person that had created this much misery in her life. Her father. "YOU BASTARD!" She yelled. "YOU did this to me! I HATE YOU! I will NEVER forgive you!!" Unable to look at him anymore, she flung the picture straight down for the ground with as much strength as she could muster, hearing the shatter as the glass fractured in a dozen pieces. Some of it flew out and landed nearby. She screamed a frustrated yell and slumped over the branch in front of her. Tears continued to make their way down her cheeks as she loudly cried out her misery.
It was because of HIM that she was forever scarred. She could NEVER have a normal life because he screwed it all up. And for that, she would never ever, EVER forgive him.
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He exhaled a deep breath. She ran away, AGAIN. He was SO CLOSE to getting answers from her he could've TASTED it. He nearly glared at the reason she left. Zimba stared back at him, confused at the anger he felt. "Wrong time to move Zimba." He muttered with venom. His shoulders drooped and he shook his head. He was taking his anger out on an animal that didn't know any better.
'Get a grip Trowa.' He berated. Sighing, a hand scrubbed over his face. He could feel emotions tumult over his persona. She'd given him a tiny glimpse and then shut the door before he could see in. 'Something happened with her parents is all I know.' Slowly, he turned and left the tent. 'The war plays a role as well.' His eyes looked at the fake night, wondering what time it was. For him, it bent and screwed its proportions till he couldn't discern it anymore. He looked around the camp slowly. It seemed deserted. Putting his hands in his pockets again, he walked to the front entrance of the main tent to see who was still around. Time couldn't have lapsed THAT much since everything was still up. He should go and look for Cathy or Quatre. The wind generator blew a light breeze, ruffling his hair and clothes as he walked. He didn't feel it or recognize it; he was too stuck up in his own thoughts to notice anything.
Quatre spotted Trowa slowly ambling around the corner. Still leaning against the pole to rest, he was running through all the possible places to go look before he started off again. He also hoped if he stayed in one spot long enough, Trowa would come by and he would catch him. That seemed to have worked. He smiled and walked up to him, then stopped when he noticed the intense concentration that embraced his face. "Trowa?" He asked. No answer. "Hey Trowa." Still no answer. He walked toward his friend slowly, trying to read the emotions on his face.
Trowa was jerked from his thoughts when a hand rested over his arm. His head moved quickly from the ground and he was face to face with Quatre. "Oh hey." He muttered, trying to move from the thick fog that encircled his brain.
Quatre noticed something was going on in his head by the clouded look in his eyes. "Something wrong Trowa?" The man just stared at the Arab, wondering if he should say anything. But then, he didn't know all that much anyway.
"Just have a lot on my mind is all." He muttered, looking away. "Where is everyone?" He looked back into those trusting blue eyes. Quatre looked around.
"I'm assuming they're packing up to get back to the house." He commented absently. "I'm glad I found you Trowa, I wanted to ask you something about Washu."
Trowa nodded absently, the name bringing him back to his thoughts. "What about?"
"Well I tried talking to her earlier, but she wouldn't talk to me." He rubbed his chin, remembering. "I was wondering if you know why she's cold one minute and friendly the next. She wouldn't give me a chance. I even apologized, thinking I'd offended her somehow." He shook his head.
Trowa's lips pursed. He knew he could trust Quatre, but he wasn't going to tell the information he'd managed to squeeze out of Washu. He would let her tell Quatre if she ever would. "I'm not too sure myself. Like you said, it has to do with her past. You just have to wear her down I guess. Catherine and I seem to be the only ones she's let in." He closed the conversation by walking through the main entrance. People were walking around, getting things from inside the tent outside to be moved. He walked to the back to try and find Cathy and see what he could do to help. Since they were to perform more than one show on this colony, the tent was going to stay up. Plus, the people on 04 weren't the type that vandalized property.
Quatre looked at the top of the colony and sighed. 'Wear her down? She's not going to be here long enough to do so.' He thought dejected. A shame, he liked her. She did seem a lot like Trowa. One reason he found a small bond toward her. And any friend of Trowa's was a friend of his as well. Turning, he went into the tent to see what he could do to help.
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The night had finally wore down for the circus crew. Everything was safely and quickly transported back to Quatre's mansion with little problems. The only one was Washu's disappearance. Trowa commented that he was the last to see her, but she ran off. Quatre and Cathy were worried, but everyone else just said she'd find her way back to the mansion. The ringmaster was slightly irritated. He didn't want to take a whole lot of time to look for the girl when she disappeared constantly. He was starting to get tired of it all.
The night was almost turning to morning, but Trowa felt that Washu was at Quatre's somewhere. He told Quatre and the two took time to comb the gardens and the forest to try and find her.
Quatre yawned for the third time since starting on the expedition. He was tired, but he had to help his friend. Trowa had helped him enough in the past, it was the least he could do. He could tell something happened between the two by just looking into his friend's eyes. Trowa wasn't attracted to Washu; he DID like her. Quatre knew now by the way he was worried about her whereabouts. He didn't know if Trowa would recognize the fact, but in due time he might. "Washu?" He called. Part of him wondered why he was doing this since the girl apparently didn't trust him. Trowa should've enlisted Catherine's help instead of his. "Washu!" He had combed probably half the forest and she was still nowhere to be found. His eyes scanned the area, his head quickly turning to each side.
A crunch sounded under him and he jumped, not expecting it. He stopped and shifted his weight to his back foot, wondering what he stepped on. The dark was a hindrance because all he saw was a dark square. Kneeling down provided light that shone through the trees and cast reflections. He picked up part of the object that surrounded what looked like a picture and held it near his face. Glass. He looked down and saw more pieces around the frame. His other hand slowly moved down and carefully picked it up. Dropping the glass, his other hand cleaned out the rest, seeing no need now that it was scattered around.
He stood up and walked to a light post nearby. The area seemed extremely déjà vu. Now under the light, he held the picture up to see. Two out of three he didn't recognize. The one in front, he knew.
It was Washu, a young Washu anyway. And she was...smiling. 'Those have to be her parents.' He concluded. She looked young in this shot. It finally hit him that he was holding a broken family photo from the past. 'But why would she break it though?' He wondered. Slowly, he wandered back to the tree he found it under, a thought in his head. Stopping under the branches, he looked up and found her carefully huddled over a couple limbs, sleeping. He looked back down at the photo perplexed. 'What happened?'
The glass would have to be cleaned up in the morning when one of the staff could see it all. For now, his foot brushed as much off the path that he could find. Lightly clutching the photo, he took off to try and find Trowa. "Trowa?" He lightly called. Rustling sounded far off and he changed his direction. "Trowa." The rustling was closer and a figure could be seen. "I found something." He called.
'I hope she's alright.' He thought. Protectiveness speared him, a new emotion. He'd never felt something like this except for Catherine. He'd had no luck in finding her in the gardens or around the animals and was beginning to lose hope. He stopped in front of Quatre, noticing something in his hand. He looked down.
"What's that?" He asked. Quatre handed it over and Trowa brought it close to his face to see.
"Why don't we go find a light post so you can see it clearer. I think you'll find it rather interesting." Quatre said. The two cut through the forest to one near the mansion and stopped under it.
Trowa recognized the face in an instant. The two she was with were a mystery, but the woman looked a lot like Washu. 'A family photo.' There was no shine to it and he wondered why she would have something so treasured unsheltered to dust.
"I found it among a pile of glass under a tree she's in." Quatre softly explained. He looked at the picture. "She's still there." Trowa looked at Quatre. Quatre shook his head. "I'm not too sure there's anything we can do right now." A hand came up and rested over his shoulder. "You said so yourself, she's not the type who wants to be consoled. Whatever's happened to her is something she's most likely not ready to talk about yet." He smiled slightly. "Tomorrow's another day and if you need to talk to her then you'll have plenty of time to. We should go get some rest, it's late."
Trowa closed his eyes, knowing his friend was right. There WAS nothing Washu would let him do, not now anyway. If she acknowledged him in any way tomorrow he would probably be lucky. He wondered if coldness was so much the issue anymore. It seemed more like shyness to him. He looked to his friend and nodded. Silently, the two started back to the large house that loomed before them.
As soon as Trowa got to his room, he set the picture down next to his things, resolving to get a new glass front for it. 'She probably had a good reason break it, but it's got to be the only one she has.' He rolled to his side and stared at it from its resting place on top of his bag. 'I wonder why she did that. It must be pretty special to her.' He stared at it for what seemed a while before turning over. He needed all the sleep he could get and right now that wasn't going to be much.
