A loud pounding on the door woke me up. I struggled to the door and open it. "Yes?"

A rough hand grabbed my collars. "Go get dressed. Everyone's upset because of you."

"What? Hanamichi? What the hell is going on?" I grouched as he pushed me towards the bathroom.

He slammed the door of the bathroom, effectively trapping me inside. "Get dressed."

I splashed some water on my face, gave myself three minutes to calm down and dressed. When I went out of the bathroom, he was standing next to the door.

The moment he saw me, he shoved me out of the room. "We got to hurry."

"To where?"

He didn't reply. Just continued dragging me to the lift.

In the lift, I impatiently shook his hand off. "Can you tell me where we're going?"

He glared at me. "Hospital."

"What.oh shit, not again."

He ignored me and started dragging me towards the private carpark.

"How bad is it this time?"

Hanamichi shrugged. "Hisashi found him. Kaede helped to send him to hospital and I came to get you."

I bit my lip. "I thought he's been clean for some time."

"Someone upset him."

I turn pale. "Shit. What is it this time?"

"Heroin. Get into the car."

He started the car and handed me a pair of sunglasses. "The media seems to have gotten the news. They're everywhere."

Suddenly numb, I took the sunglasses and put them on. The moment the car exited the carpark, swarm of reporters crowded up. Hanamichi scowled and stepped on the accelerator. "Damn pests."

I turned my head slightly and watched as we left the crowd of reporters behind.

"What the hell did you say to him?"

I jumped. "What?"

He focused on the road. "You must have said something. I didn't, Kaede didn't, and I know Hisashi wouldn't upset Kenji."

I scowled. As usual, Rukawa's name was brought into the conversation again when it should have just been the four of us.

"What did you say, Akira?"

I flared up. "What makes you so sure your precious boyfriend didn't say anything?"

He stepped on the brakes so suddenly, it was a good thing I had my seatbelt on.

"Get off."

I looked at him. "What?"

"Get off. We're here."

I hadn't realized that we were already at the hospital. "Oh."

Before we entered the side door of the hospital to avoid the camping reporters, Hanamichi put a hand on my shoulder. "Akira, whatever you said, don't upset him again."





He looked so frail and small lying there on the bed, with tubes running in and out of his body.

I knelt down next to his bed. "Kenji, shit. I'm sorry."

He couldn't hear me, of course. But still I knelt there, guilt-ridden.

"Akira."

"Yes, Mitsui?" I replied, staring at Fujima.

"We need to talk."

"Here?"

"Yes, here. We all need to talk."

I stood up. "What about Kenji?"

Mitsui looked at him. "I think he very eloquently expressed what he thinks about you wanting to quit the band."

I clenched my fists. "I didn't think he would be so upset."

"Akira. The band, we were all he had. You knew that."

I sat down in the chair next to the bed. "I'm sorry, Kenji. I really am."

"Isn't it too late for regrets?" Hanamichi walked over and stood next to Mitsui. "Are you still going to leave us?"

I looked up, at him, at Mitsui, and at the silent Rukawa standing next to the door. "Yes."

Hanamichi squatted down in front of me and held my hand. "Why? Is there no room for tolerance?"

"Do you know why I'm leaving?"

"Yes." He replied softly. "I've always known, Akira, and I've always wondered whether you would make your move."

"What?" I tightened my grip on his hand.

"Yes." He stood up and gently removed his hand from my grasp. "But that was before I met Kaede."

"How did you know?"

"We all know, Akira." Mitsui interjected. "We all knew."

"What's the point of telling me this now?"

"To let you see that there's no reason for you to leave."

"But it's not even the four of us anymore. It's five of us, and there's not room for the fifth person." I cried out indignantly.

A movement by the door caught my eye. Damn, I forgot that Rukawa is in the room.

As I watched, he moved to stand next to Hanamichi, putting an arm round him. I closed my eyes in response.

"But that's only part of the reason."

"What do you mean, Akira? We're at the peak of our careers, and you suddenly want to leave."

"That's the whole point, Hisashi. We're at the peak, and there's no way to go but down. I don't want to stay on and see our band dwindling in the shadows. I rather leave when we're at the top, and twenty years down the road, people won't look back and say, 'Oh look, those are the guys from Angel 'n' Devils' and have their friends ask, 'What Angel 'n' Devils'?"

"And what are you going to do if you leave us?"

I shrug. "Take a holiday, then maybe I'll find something to do. Get back into the industry if I still feel like performing."

"How would Kenji feel?"

I turn to look at Fujima. Reaching out to touch his face, I replied softly. "It's time for him to learn that we can't stay together forever, isn't it? He's like a child that never grows up."

"Is this really the end?" Hanamichi ask, a tremor in his voice.

I look at him, looked at the neighbor and friend I've grown up with, looked at the man he had grown into, most of all, I looked at the band mate I had loved and cherished. "It's not the end. I'll go my own way, and you guys will carry on without me."

"Oh no. It doesn't work that way, Akira." The redhead said. "Once you leave, our band will fall apart. All of us are part of it, and there's no way the band can perform without you."

"It won't be the same."

I glanced up at Rukawa, surprised that he had spoken. Then I shrugged, "My mind is made up. If you guys choose to disband, at least know that we'll still have friendship."

"This really is the end. Akira, there's no chances of you changing your mind?"

"No, Hanamichi."

"What about Kenji?"

I stood up and studied the sleeping Fujima. I brushed his silky brown bangs out of his eyes and bent down to press a kiss to his forehead. "Hisashi, I trust you'll be here with him."

Mitsui nodded.

I headed for the door. "Then I'll make a move first. I'll come back tomorrow to see him."

"Akira!"

I stopped. "What?"

"Angel 'n' Devils, from now on, is disbanded."

I spun around and stared in disbelief at Mitsui. I had expected him to be the logical one, the one who would insist the band carry on without me.

He laughed. "Wipe the shocked look from your face. As Hanamichi said, you're part of the band. Once you're gone, we won't be the same. And you're right. There's no way out but down, and I would rather avoid that too."

I nodded, taking my time to look at him, look at Hanamichi, Fujima and even Rukawa. "Take care everyone."

Hanamichi nodded, still standing next to Rukawa, and threw me something. I caught it reflexively. It was the car keys.

"Take the car, Akira. The reporters are still outside."

"And don't say anything until we can make an official statement." Mitsui said, studying me.

I nodded, suddenly feeling a lump in my throat. "I guess this is goodbye, guys."

Hanamichi smiled at me. "No. It's not goodbye. Just till we meet again."

I tried to smile back and stepped out of the private ward. Ten years down the road, would I get blamed for Angel 'n' Devils' disbanding? Or would we be like the Beatles? Would Rukawa get blamed, just like Yoko Ono is?

"Till we meet again, guys." I whispered, turning away from the ward.